Today, a lesson in advanced Facebook dating mathematics, courtesy of our friend Roissy/Heartiste.
First: fellas, remember that online dating is stacked against us, due to the ability of the ladies to post pictures of themselves looking cute on Facebook – one of the gravest injustices of the modern world. As Heartiste explains, in a post with the bracing title You’ll Need Hard Negs For Facebook Game:
So you’ve got millions of women posting flattering pics of themselves and personal details that are uniformly positive on their FB walls, and you’ve got a bunch of cloying betas feeding the egos of these women even further with painstakingly crafted supportive comments, and you expect to make any headway with tepid game? That is a bitch shield too strong to breach.
But if you must engage the ladies on this unfavorable terrain, remember to adjust your calculations accordingly. As Heartiste explains this new math:
The combination of self-selected profiles and nonstop beta adulation will boost a 5′s self-conception to a 7. Since 5s already have a self-conception of 6 thanks to the phenomenon of female upward dating momentum and the alpha cock carousel, you now have a double-strength bitch shield to bust instead of a single strength.
I’ve prepared a simple chart to illustrate this point:
But wait! There’s more:
Remember, if a 5 believes she’s a 7 (“But I *feel* like a 7!”) she is also going to believe that male 7s are not high enough status for her. Women are not truly happy unless they are dating men 0.5 to 2 sexual market value points higher than themselves.
Five thinks it’s seven. But seven is five. SEVEN IS FIVE!
The reality, of course, is that the male 7 is two full points higher than the female 5. But the Facebook wall has meddled with the primal forces of nature. An unbridgeable chasm brought about by the advance of technology has severed the organically emergent hierarchy of the dating market where there is no escape from soul withering judgments made in mere seconds.
So, as always, the best bet for the modern man is to find some lady in the real world who actually thinks she’s the number she is. Then, simply neg her until she hates herself. That’s how the math is supposed to work.
Now I feel like I’m some sort of unfair bitch for not posting hideous photos to Facebook, and status updates about how ugly and worthless I am? Not sure what he wants here.
Well, he wants the usual paradox of “women must sleep with any man who wants them or they’re bitches, but they must carefully reserve sex or they’re sluts.” So I guess I am sure, after all.
The OP is too stupid to acknowledge. I comment only to say that is the prettiest kitty! Look at cat. So self-satisfied.
Dang, I’m only batting a 4.2973 this month. I’m going to need to convert 8 of 14 free throws in the last wicket if I’m going to win the ladiez on the internetz.
You’ve got to love it when their actual complaint is “most women don’t hate themselves enough to sleep with me.”
I was already confused this morning, now it’s quite worse.
Face book assimilation makes you seven of nine!
@juliejezebel, David’s chart helped me.
BORG!
I’m still mystified as to why MRA’s seem to spend so much energy obsessively whining about women who are difficult to date, instead of just… you know… not dating them. Surely if MRA’s are as wonderful as they think they are, they shouldn’t settle for a bitchy 5. Unless, I suppose, MRA’s are subject to the same egotistical inflation of self-worth that they accuse the hated women of, and the self-reported 7’s are actually 2’s because they come across as assholes.
But no, that couldn’t be it.
This facebook game math is complicated. I want to know this, though. If you take the square root of a negative alpha, do you get an imaginary alpha? Also, is it beta to visit your friend’s Farmville game and fertilize their crops? Heartiste has a lot of questions to answer.
It is definitely Beta to fertilize your friend’s crops. (Although rich in symbolism.)
Alphas make tons of “help me build my barn!” requests on everyone’s friend feed and then don’t ever visit their farm-neighbors.
As a former math major I must know where irrational and imaginary numbers lie on this scale.
I personally feel like an i, so I welcome neverdid question.
And what if I’m actually a 9? That means I believe I am a 11 and I’d like to date a 13?
What if you don’t post pictures, how can they know if you’re worth it?
MRAL is reading the graph and nodding approvingly. “Yes, yes, it all makes sense now!”
So, as always, the best bet for the modern man is to find some lady in the real world who actually thinks she’s the number she is. Then, simply neg her until she hates herself. That’s how the math is supposed to work.
LOL!
Is this why 7 ate 9?
Forget not posting pictures, I’m not even on facebook! Alas, I have no one to fertilize my farms. Or have farms for that matter.
Basic premise of the article: Attractive women on Facebook receive a lot of attention from men. This inflates attractive woman’s ego to the point of bursting. Men should give her a neg, dig or verbal jab to pop her ego back to reality.
Wait a second. If women want to date 2 points above themselves, and 5s think they’re 7s, doesn’t that mean that a 5 male has to actually take someone down four points until she’ll date him? Convince her she’s a 3?
Ouch.
“Forget not posting pictures, I’m not even on facebook!”
*high five though the internet*
We’re the only real ladies here, not tauting betas with slutty picture.
I don’t want my farms to be fertilized. That’s to avoid it that condoms are for.
Brandon, are you agreeing with the premise and a conclusion?
So if attractive people are attractive and are told they are attractive then other people who many not be as attractive should tell the attractive people they aren’t attractive so that the less attractive people can…what? Mate with the actually attractive people?
Posts like this make me wish we all didn’t need to actually see, but I’m sure we’d find some other ridiculous scoring system based on smell or vocal tone.
She’s too nasal! She’s a 5!
Five thinks it is seven? But seven ate nine! 😮
My profile picture on Facebook is a picture of my cat. He is an 11, but he is not above dating lady cats who are lower on the numbers scale, as long as they’re smart, good conversationalists and have a good sense of humor.
Hey all, part time lurker first time poster. Love the blog, it alternatley makes me cry with laughter and with dispair at humanity.
Anyway, do people actually think like this guy? I mean, really? They think dating boils down to numbers assigned to subjective characteristics like attractiveness?
It’s like they treat dating as some version of a Total War game. Like, she’s using the dating equivalent of armoured cavalry, so I need to deploy dating skirmishing pikemen.