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Greatest MRA graphic ever!

Totally what marriage is like.

 

Found on Wedded Abyss, linked to by some MRA dude on Reddit. I believe the thing on the right is a high-heeled shoe, which like most high-heel shoes has a woman’s mouth on it with a chain coming from out of the mouth, with a little silhouetto of a man in handcuffs attached to it. Because that totally is what marriage is all about these days, amirite fellas? We’re just tiny silhouettes of men chained to the giant mouth-having shoe of feminazi injustice!!

 

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Ami Angelwings
8 years ago

Hey MRAL pants! 😀

I sent you a PM on the forum 🙂 (dun worry it’s nice)

And NWO pants! You should listen to what MRAL just said, esp about how seductive going into full “pity me I’m a poor oppressed man!” MRA mode is b/c you get “free sympathy” xD

Srsly… even MRAL (if that is MRAL and not an alien clone, or MRAL from the future… ) sees that he could have turned into you and doesn’t want to. I mean, yeah yeah you’re just trolling us… but the hate and anger and bitterness is real to some degree (I dun believe nething else you say except the Star Wars books is real but it’s fun to pretend it is 😀 Milk Master that you are xD ) and it’s not good for you…

Hopefully, one day we’ll get an NWO letter like that too :3

Ami Angelwings
8 years ago

Wait, is NWO claiming not to live in Texas now? xD

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I think it’s much too late for NWO. He chose his path a long time ago. At least he can serve as a useful example of what not to do to other, younger men, so I guess that’s something.

katz
8 years ago

NWO is probably backpedaling because he realized that the list of 50ish male milk machine technicians from Texas isn’t too long and we could probably figure out who he was even if he withheld his magic all-capitals name.

Shaenon
8 years ago

NWO is probably backpedaling because he realized that the list of 50ish male milk machine technicians from Texas isn’t too long and we could probably figure out who he was even if he withheld his magic all-capitals name.

And then we could have him thrown in jail forever for no reason!

Shaenon
8 years ago

Don’t worry so much, MRAL. Even when you were being an absolute shit to everyone here, most people still wished you well. From this you can conclude that you’re basically a likable person. Things in the real world are not so dire.

Just stop cussing at people all the time!

If you ever want to talk, I’m on Facebook under the same name. Actually, I’m just about everywhere under the same name. I don’t run into a lot of competition from other Shaenons.

ApeMan1976
8 years ago

I had attitudes not too far from these when I was 19. It’s a normal age to be pissed off at the world. One of the worst things about the online MRA movement (which did not exist when I was 19) is that it encourages people to fixate on and become stuck in these beliefs.

Once you let go of all this nonsense you will be happier. Trust me.

Demios
Demios
8 years ago

MRAL

Reading you coming clean made my day. It takes a lot of guts to admit that, and even more personal strength to break away from the trolling that gave you such validation. I’m not saying it excuses the things you said in the past, but I’m hoping this leads to a better future.

I understand very well the cycle of validation. It…changes people if one lets it. People give a person attention and regard, and they find a part of their beliefs resonate with the party line. This cycle slowly reshapes a person until they are transformed into an image that the party line dictates, since it is optimal for that kind of validation.

Also, I know very well the pains of being lonely. It seems like everyone else is living this life that one wishes they had, everyone else is getting to experience these awesome things while the one left alone seems condemned to a life of solitude. Despite what stereotypes advertise, College isn’t all fun and games (especially when one goes to a campus like mine where the student body is EXTREMELY detached and college culture is practically non-existent). It’s particularly difficult to be left out then because it is a major time of internal transition (one of my friends of old called it her “transitional 20’s”).

As cliche as it is, as the campaign goes, it gets better. I’m not going to throw any presumption of difference of age in there as any sort of catalyst, but I am confident that in some way some how, it will. For example, I thought I was the last person who would ever find someone I could call my partner and/or lover (thanks to deep self-image issues as well as a default pessimistic viewpoint, among other things). However, due to dumb luck (which sadly, is the most important factor), I not only found someone who was willing to be with me, I found someone I could truly resonate with on the deepest levels. Someone whom I deeply love and can say even in my most depressed and self-doubting moments that she loves me too.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
8 years ago

I really appreciate everyone’s responses. Seriously. Especially those who offered to talk. I actually might like that. Sometime, anyway.

It’s funny, even though the attention I got here was universally negative, it really didn’t matter. I guess it was really more about being acknowledged or whatever, even if I my acknowledgment was for being a standout asshole. Of course, I’m psychoanalyzing myself now, I have no idea. But I did get some weird thrill out of reading my e-name. I’d go back and read old conversations where people were talking about me. It’s just weird, and I’ve had enough.

I’ve basically been feeling this way for months now, but it’s almost like I couldn’t stop. I finally thought the only way was to just come totally clean. I don’t want to be this person anymore. No matter how much I told myself I was just trolling, it had become way more than that.

And NWOslave, come on man. Stop being disingenuous.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

I think you deserve some major props, first for being honest enough with yourself to see what you were doing, and second for doing something to change it.

But that’s just what I think.

klopbop
klopbop
8 years ago

MRAL, I’m glad you came clean. While we’ve never really interacted before, I’ve been a lurker for a long time, and remember quite a few MRAL-show posts.

It’s really, really easy to get sucked into that pattern. You don’t like yourself, so you act in a shitty way to make people not like you, so you never have to face “real” rejection. You tell yourself that you’re just proving how shallow/stupid/whatever they are, and you could totally make them like you if you wanted to. You just don’t, so there! It’s validating and feels good, even though it also sorta feels bad. I did the same thing when I was younger, and I sometimes still do it (because I don’t like myself very much, and if I reject them before they reject me, why, I shall never be hurt! Oh, wait, it doesn’t work that way).

And like everyone else said, things can change. It’s sort of astounding how different things can be from one year to the next – two years ago, I was a very different person. Things can be different for you, too.

I hope you find what you’re looking for, and that you start finding ways to be positively reinforced.

Kollege Messerschmitt
8 years ago

MRAL,

I just wanna chime in with the folks who think it’s awesome of you to have this amount of self-awareness, and that you realized that the MRM stuff is bullshit and not good for you.
I had some serious issues with women when I was around 15 or 16, and unlike you, I actually meant the disgusting things I thought and said, without recognizing how stupid it was, and how it pretty much made me even lonelier, so I became more bitter. It’s a really bad cycle, and I have a lot of respect for you being able to see it yourself that you are about to be caught in that cycle.

My luck was probably that I didn’t hear about the manosphere until 4 years ago or so, so I didn’t have anyone who encouraged my behaviour.
I can definitely see how it would be tempting to be showered with sympathy, and to just get to blame everyone else, if one has been feeling unloved and unloveable for all those years.
So kudos to you, for not falling for it. I mean it!
It’s a very important step in the right direction.

I haven’t really interacted with you, but judging from what I have seen, your “confession” seems sincere.

So, MRAL, I wish you the best 🙂
I hope things will get better for you!

Kollege Messerschmitt
8 years ago

Holly, congrats on the 4.0 🙂

On a somewhat unrelated note, I think I found NWOwlies DA-account (probably not, but I don’t want to think there are MORE people like him). Lots of conspiracy batshittery, talk about the New World Order, about fluoride flouride in the tap water etc. I think it’s lacking a bit in the misogyny department, though.

Pterygotus
Pterygotus
8 years ago

I’d give you advice about how to have friends, but don’t listen to me, I can count the number of non-Internet friends I have on one hand. 🙂 It sucks. It sucks being sad and lonely and invisible and touch-starved and feeling like everyone around you is with friends all the time and loving their college experiences while you have nothing to show for it but a really good high score on Minesweeper. Particularly when people say that college is the easiest time in your life to make friends. Fuck, if that’s true, I’m doomed to live alone and be eaten by my cats. 🙂
Aren’t you the one who’s got like half a dozen relationships going at once? Or are you talking about the past here?

SaruGoku
SaruGoku
8 years ago

MRAL:

That was a very brave thing to do. I’m impressed. I’m glad you figured this out because I’ve noticed on a couple of occasions when you’ve allowed us to see a bit more than the troll persona you show yourself to be a likable person. I’m glad you trusted us enough to tell us.

Naira
Naira
8 years ago

@MRAL

I just want to add my support for what others have said. It takes guts to be honest, even in a place of relative anonymity. More difficult even than that, of course, is being honest with yourself. People can go their whole lives never being honest with themselves.

I’m reminded of what my fiance has told me about himself when he was younger. He saw his father die of a heart attack when he was 9 years old. For almost 20 years, he alternately blamed himself for his father’s death (the logic of a 9 year old being a very odd thing), depressed, and suicidal. I don’t think I can ever fully comprehend how much he hurt during that time.

But, today he’s 33, has a graduate degree from a top-rated school, and has a job as a digital archivist. Not to mention he has a woman in his life who loves him dearly. By his own account, his life right now is better than it has ever been before.

There’s no guarantees, of course. No one will ever be able to say 100% that your life will turn out well. What I’m saying is that even from the worst places, it CAN turn out well. So long as you’re breathing, the potential is there.

Personally, I can’t stand motivational posters that say that so long as you believe in yourself, things will be okay. That just isn’t true. Things can go wrong, no matter how much you believe in yourself. But how you act, react, and comport yourself in those times is the difference.

I am a full believer in Viktor Frankl’s line: “The last of human freedoms – the ability to chose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances.”

Best of luck to you, MRAL. I think you’re going to be okay.

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

MRAL: I’ve given you a fair amount of shit on here, and considering the way you’ve been acting, I stand by it. That being said, I’m glad you’ve realized you’re allowed to opt out of being an asshole. Good luck.

Hershele Ostropoler
8 years ago

MRAL:
I’m not great-looking. My personality isn’t much. Here’s how I met my first girlfriend: I was interested in people, and urban legends, and intellectual conversation, and in 1997 or so I found alt.folklore.urban (don’t bother with it now, Usenet is a wasteland, but there are equivalents; nowadays I’d probably try TVTropes or SDMB, but the specific virtual place is tangential). I hung out, got to know people, developed a more or less positive reputation and in July 1999, when a meetup here in New York was announced, I went. That made me a lot more comfortable at another meetup in December, where one of the attendees was a woman a little younger than me. The meetup was in Washington; she was a Columbia first-year home in Northern Virginia on break. I knew a little about her, and vice-versa, from our interaction on the group, and spending time in person together — in a group — helped us click.

When she got back to New York, I asked her out. We were together almost four years, and it gave me confidence that I could go from single to not-single (that relationship was also directly if not proximately responsible for my meeting my current girlfriend).

So what I would suggest (for a thing, not just casual hookups):
* Tease out how much you want a relationship versus how much you want to be able to say “I’m in a relationship” versus how much you want to be the sort of person who has relationships. Even wanting “a relationship” rather than meeting a person and wanting to be with her isn’t optimal, but it’s better than purely external otivations. If you’re actually happy enough single, it’s moot, but I’ll continue.
* Don’t look for A Girl. Figure out some interests, and pursue those. For anything moderately long-term you’ll want something in common beyond “she’s hot.” Again, for me it was laography 15 years ago, now it would be literary criticism or whatever SDMB is, for you it might be something else. Post, as Orion said, in your blog, and promote it somewhat; it’s a great way for interesting(-to-you) women to get to know you.
* Especially don’t look for someone who meets other people’s standards. Even if you dismiss “don’t look for someone just for the sake of having someone” as “well, easy for him to say,” definitely don’t get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t actually do it for you just because you think she’s what you’re supposed to want. That won’t make anyone happy, even you.
* BU is a terrible place to meet people if you’re at all insecure. You’re in STEM, right? If it’s not too late to transfer, see if they’ll take you across the river. In any case, go to events and mixers and things aimed at your cohort, including “on-campus” such as it is.

I’m not promising you’ll find someone. I can’t, though insofar as you’re not an unredeemable asshole it’s likely to happen eventually. Just, if all that is different from what you’re doing, it can’t be less effective.

MRM/PUA have, I think, a particular appeal to men in their teens/early 20s, bucause while as a model of female behavior it’s almost entirely wrong, as a model of teenage girl behavior it’s only slightly wrong, and superficially right; I suspect most adults who believe it stopped paying attention to what women actually do around that age. If you realize it’s just a phase, that helps.

Also, give serious thought to everything Shaenon said. I was a Nice Guy™ at your age, albeit a relatively benign version. I was positive that women who weren’t responding to my (I thought) clear unspoken cues were cruelly rejecting me. If they weren’t with anyone it especially hurt because they were (in my mind) choosing no one over me. That was all in my head, and realizing that helped a lot.

Hershele Ostropoler
8 years ago

ozy:

It sucks being sad and lonely and invisible and touch-starved and feeling like everyone around you is with friends all the time and loving their college experiences while you have nothing to show for it but a really good high score on Minesweeper. Particularly when people say that college is the easiest time in your life to make friends.

Not so much emotionally, but practically. It’s the easiest time to meet people you spend time with without a specific purpose. You may not make friends with your dormmates, but in adult life you don’t even have dormmates.

Captain Bathrobe
8 years ago

Is NWO pulling the Working Class Hero routine again? I’d be surprised if he doesn’t ask to see our hands…

shaenon
8 years ago

Hershele– I met my first boyfriend on Usenet too!

Also, give serious thought to everything Shaenon said. I was a Nice Guy™ at your age, albeit a relatively benign version. I was positive that women who weren’t responding to my (I thought) clear unspoken cues were cruelly rejecting me.

THIS WAS MY HUSBAND. He was really shy and, in his mind, women were rejecting him by not picking up on his alternately cryptic, sarcastic, and nonexistent signals. For months, he hung out with me platonically, never mentioned any kind of romantic interest, went on movie dates (initiated by me) that ended without so much as a polite handshake, and answered direct questions about whether he was interested in me with long descriptions of all his past girl problems and why he would be hopeless as a boyfriend. I’d previously carried a torch for a guy who did the same kind of stuff and really wasn’t interested, so I was not inclined to be optimistic.

Finally, after the third time I slept over in his bed, he reluctantly said that maybe we could kinda try dating if it wouldn’t mess things up too much. Which, in his head, was enthusiastically asking me out.

Damn, he’s lucky he’s hot.

My husband has also commented many times that he’s glad he wasn’t on the Internet as a lonely college student, or he could’ve gotten sucked into MRA stuff. And if that had happened, there’s no way in hell I would’ve wanted to date him.

Fuck MRAs
Fuck MRAs
8 years ago

jumbofish said:

mral,

“Trolling or not you still are a little shithead because you did all that to hurt people. You won’t be getting sympathy from me…”

x2

I don’t give a flying FUCK why someone says the kind of violent, misogynist, bigoted, hateful bullshit that MRAL said. It’s not like he said it once, or twice, or even 100 times. He’s posted here HUNDREDS of times. Frankly, if he didn’t actually mean any of it, it only makes it worse to me. What a loser asshole, but then we already knew that, didn’t we?

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

I’ll throw in that I met my current boyfriend through friends–friends who weren’t interested in dating me, but invited me to events where I met their friends, who invited me to eventually meet their friends, one of whom (several months later) I hit it off with. Just keeping myself in social circulation with lots of new people, although not easy for me*, is how I’ve met guys.

*I’ve heard an extrovert described as someone who gets energy from socializing, and an introvert described as someone who spends energy socializing. I am, by that definition, definitely an introvert. The bigger and less familiar the crowd, the sooner I feel exhausted and insecure. But putting in the energy sometimes (while also deliberately giving myself time off from social situations, because a social gathering every night, or even every week, would fry my brain) has really paid off for me.

KathleenB
KathleenB
8 years ago

MRAL: I want to second or third or whatever the recommendations to see your doctor. Or a doctor. I have the happyfuntime depression/anxiety combo pack, and what you’re describing sounds an awful lot like what I went through before I got medicated. I call it my ‘worry rat,’ this constant stream of ‘what if’ and horrible thoughts (like a rodent in one of those wheels) that sent me to a really, really bad place. Please, if you don’t think you can talk to your current doc, or you don’t have one, there should be an equivalent to my Community Mental Health in your area that will help you find someone. You don’t have to feel like this.

oldfeminist
8 years ago

Why is the icon for the abusive MRAL from earlier in the thread different from the icon for the apologetic MRAL later in the thread? Are they the same person, Dave?

ozymandias42
8 years ago

Pterygorus: I can count the number of times in a given week I talk to someone who is not a sex partner, an Internet person, or a family member on one hand.

Hershele: OH GOD I am going to die alone and get eaten by CATS

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

I have a customer service related job-I talk with too many people who are having one of, if not the worst day(s) of their lives.

Sharculese
8 years ago

Why is the icon for the abusive MRAL from earlier in the thread different from the icon for the apologetic MRAL later in the thread? Are they the same person, Dave?

mral has several variations on his name for no discernible reason. earlier in the thread he was posting as ‘mralieutenant’ and when he made his confession it was ‘men’s rights activist lieutenant’. i don’t think it signifies anything.

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

I think MRAL has the different accounts so that he can (sort of; it never works for long) dodge when David puts him on moderation.

oldfeminist
8 years ago

Hershele Ostropoler:

MRM/PUA have, I think, a particular appeal to men in their teens/early 20s, bucause while as a model of female behavior it’s almost entirely wrong, as a model of teenage girl behavior it’s only slightly wrong, and superficially right; I suspect most adults who believe it stopped paying attention to what women actually do around that age. If you realize it’s just a phase, that helps.

I think it’s even narrower — it is a model of the behavior of some teenage girls who have the looks or nerve to play the game. Those of us who weren’t Scarlett O’Hara trying to score points by hooking the most popular boys just tried to muddle along hoping to find friendship and love.

oldfeminist
8 years ago

Thanks Holly and Sharculese for the explanation. I was just concerned that it was someone pretending to be MRAL to, in essence, troll a suspected troll.

VoiP
VoiP
8 years ago

Hey MRAL.

My life isn’t very easy. My limbs are heavy, I have no energy to get up earlier than two in the afternoon. In winter this means that I spend my day mostly in the dark, like I live on some night-planet where all the buildings are empty. I can’t pay attention to anything for more than a few minutes, which sucks because I’m in grad school, and a number of my projects are late. I’m supposed to be thinking of a dissertation topic right now, and I realized that I’m barely interested in anything. Not one thing. Here I am, wandering around on the night planet without a desire in my head. How the fuck do I tell that to my advisor?

But when I was in undergrad, it was a lot worse.

I was desperately lonely then. Oh, I had friends, but I was convinced — flat convinced — that they didn’t really care about me, or that they didn’t care about me with the same intensity that I cared about them. So I pushed them away with hostile behavior that was half-deliberate, half-panicked: if they really cared, I reasoned, they would follow me down the hole in my mind. Some did, some didn’t. One guy tried to fix me and when it didn’t work he gave up his career plans of becoming a therapist. Even so, it was like I was separated from everyone else in my group by a pane of glass that only I could see. I drank hard.

I was such an asshole. I held these two ideas in my mind simultaneously: the first being that I had to make those around me prove that they cared for me by putting up with my shit and the second that their hostility was no more than I deserved.

It’s possible that this is what’s motivating you as well.

Only later I learned that the antidepressant I was on at the time has emotional volatility as a side effect. Nobody had told me.

After college I moved in with my boyfriend, where I repeated the pattern, picking fights with him to make him prove he loved me. See, since I have Asperger’s I actually have no idea what he, or anyone, is thinking. I just assumed that everything he was thinking about me was negative. Picking loud, drag-out fights with him, every weekend for years, was like a clumsy form of sonar: bounce myself off him, see what comes back. It soothed me. He tried to break up with me, he came back, he broke up with me again. Sometimes I dragged him back, sometimes he came back on his own. The thought of living without him made me more frantic than the thought of living with him. Eventually, I started to think of my behavior toward him as abusive. I stopped.

I’m on new medication now. I’m anxious less often, and when I am anxious it isn’t the same frenzy of panic that I take out on others.

I’m not going to tell you that life gets easier, because in my experience, it doesn’t. My point is, you learn how to deal. Just like in any other scenario, you learn how to manage a complex series of interactions through experience, modifying your behavior based on the results you get. This process takes time.

Hershele Ostropoler
8 years ago

ozy:

OH GOD I am going to die alone and get eaten by CATS

That’s why I decided to start counting Internet people as people.

I really want to go back and tell college!Hershele that people (first year, at least) are open to making friends, really. Also that you can ask someone out even if they’re not in love with you, and they might even say yes if they’re not in love with you.

And better, to tell high-school!Hershele not to go to a college with minimal campus life.

klopbop
klopbop
8 years ago

VoiP,

“I held these two ideas in my mind simultaneously: the first being that I had to make those around me prove that they cared for me by putting up with my shit and the second that their hostility was no more than I deserved.”

OH GOD THAT WAS ME TOO

It’s a terrible place to be in, and I’m glad you’re apparently no longer in it. That was part of my own abusive behavior pattern, and it’s very, very hard to break. Because in a twisted way, it makes sense. When you love someone, you help them through the hard times. And because you hate yourself and know you’re hurting people, you have basically “proven” to yourself that no one can love you, so this is what SHOULD happen.

Casper
Casper
8 years ago

I can see from these comments and the comments on MRA sites that this is rapidly becoming a full blown gender war with mounting hatred on both sides.
Thank you for stoking the flames.