Given that we live in a feminazi gynocracy, with evil feminasties controlling all that we see and hear, it’s amazing that something like this ever found its way into print. This is from Maxim, in 2003. I found it here. Click on it to see it full size.
In the interest of accuracy, I would like to note that the woman pictured below might not be an actual feminist, as her armpit hair appears to be fake.
NOTE: This post contains
Julie and Bee (if you come down) if you want to meet up, PM me via the forum.
I will, hellkell! I’m not exactly sure if we’re coming, but that’d be awesome!
So I tried to take that “Dating market test for men”, and I ended up skipping half the questions, since I couldn’t say I’d do any of the options: Be a douche, a bigger douche, or have no understanding of social skills…
I ended up as a 1, which makes me good? I dunno, it seems like the person who made that hasn’t really interacted with many people, much less women.
What a scientifically rigorous test! Let’s see, I gain “market value” for my lovely ass, my tiny nose, my full lips, my long legs, and my perfect waist to hip ratio, but I lose market value for not doing anal, being over thirty, having large breasts, and a high IQ. Got it.
I actually quite like Brad Pitt. He’s been in some very good movies, and, with the right directors, has turned in some pretty great performances.
Unfortunately, I haven’t had much time to see new movies this year, but of the ones I saw, he starred in two of them and I enjoyed them both (Tree of Life and Moneyball). It was a surprise that I liked Moneyball because sports, baseball in particular, bore the hell out of me.
Also, apropos of nothing, Hugo was great. It’s the only film I’d actually recommend seeing in 3D. Scorsese’s the first director I’ve come across that’s actually made it worthwhile. Wonderful story and absolutely beautiful to look at.
Wow. I’m a sucker for idiotic online tests with meaningless results, but that one was just too horrifying (both versions). I admire the fortitude of everyone who actually got a score out of it, although I assume you’re all offline now vomiting.
That’s not what he’s insinuating. What he’s pointing out is that believe it or not, there are markets in dating just as there are markets in material commodities. Funny thing is, many people seem to know this and act accordingly without consciously being aware of it.
Man, and now I know I’m not worth much to the MRAs, as a gentleman OR a lady. HOW TERRIBLE. Truly, a tragedy.
JTK, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. Suicide is such a horrible way to lose someone you care about.
That test was truly horrific and nauseating. I love how the only things that pertain to a woman’s appearance and docility are of interest to these chauvinistic arseholes.
And they say women are shallow!
Oh man, I feel dirty after taking these tests (I took both, because why the hell not?)
As a guy I scored -1 (aka lesser beta) and as a girl I scored 15 (aka greater beta, probably because of my age). Beta highfives to all the fellow beta scorers 😀
Most of the questions were pretty stupid, but some were really creepy.
Question 31 for women was ” Do you do anal?” and the “correct” answer was “Yes, and it makes me come to know how much it pleases my man”. I mean, yes, it is definitely great to make your partner feel good, but it’s pretty telling that the reason she supposed to like it is still all about HIM and pleasing HIM.
And when you think about how much PUA techniques are explicitly about making women feel like shit, I doubt that they are very interested in making her feel good. Indeed, I have the lingering suspicion that “Yes, because I love how it feels!” as an answer would get points substracted – because then it’s not all about the man anymore, and we can’t have that.
I actually feel bad about apparently replying in the PUA-way to question 25 on the guy version. But what the hell, hot hypothetical lady?
Thanks for not-so-hypothetically making me feel bad about hypothetically calling out hypothetical homophobia, Roissy/Heartiste!
@Ithiliana
The Spider Robinson book with the thing about keeping deer out of your garden with carnivore pee was Time Pressure, I think.
I kind of like to imagine JTK strolling through the halls of Walmart and greeting all the guys shopping there with “Fight the power, brother! Fight the power!”, leaving them confused.
But on a serious note, I am very sorry about your brother-in-law, JTK.
And if GYOW helped you cope, and enriched your life, that’s great! As long as you aren’t hateful and blame about 50% of the world’s population for all your problems, I really don’t see the issue.
You don’t have to justify your decision to us, or anyone, for that matter.
So, yes, when hellkell and CassandraSays told you to go your own way already, I am very sure that they didn’t mean that you have to tell them your motivation and justify it to them.
Quite the opposite, actually.
So I will also ask you:
why are you telling us how you came to the decision to go your own way? It just seems a bit like you felt that your choice was challenged by the people here. I promise, no one here thinks you shouldn’t GYOW!
In fact, I wish you the best of luck with it, and hope it will help you heal!
It’s really sad when people try to understand Zen and totally miss the point. That aside – if you’re happy going your own way, awesome. Why do you feel the need to announce it over and over again, though? I’m fine with you going your own way. If you’re fine with it too, you shouldn’t even need a response from me (or anyone else here), so why are you trying so hard to get one.
Neediness is really not very Zen.
“While I originally thought that the Matrix was a fairly cliche retread of a lot of stereotyped ideas about “deep philosophy” (with a totally fucked up sf premise, and some really weird racialized issues, and OMG, why does anyone like Keanu Reeves)”
Because he’s really pretty? Seems like a pleasant enough guy, too. But yeah, mostly just because he’s pretty. It’s definitely not because of his acting skills.
JTK, I’m sorry your friend killed himself. Suicide is hard on everyone.
Roissy says I’m a greater beta. I mean, I think. I kinda skipped all the facial questions because I’m fucked if I know whether I have a long jawline.
What I want to know is which test queers take.
I was looking forward to that film until I found out it has yellow face in it, since the I’ve felt sort of bleh about it…
@JTK, I know a guy who is a crackhead and alchoholic, who cheated on his wife, the mother of his four kids, one who was born because he sabatoged her birth control on purpose, for years during their marriage and then never paid any support. He has assulted his past two girlfriends, including one he beat so severely her injuries included a broken jaw and several broken ribs. So…all men are evil, right? No, because he’s not fucking representative of all men. Men aren’t a hive mind. And neither are women. So, kindly take your generalizations and shove them where the sun don’t shine.
>>What he’s pointing out is that believe it or not, there are markets in dating just as there are markets in material commodities.
There ought to be a name for the fallacy that consists purely of rephrasing the original thesis in a slightly different manner and using that rephrasing as evidence of the original thesis.
Ahhhhh markets. Really good at providing functional medium-sized bread boxes or whatever. Really bad at important things like clean air and water or understanding the motivations of an entire gender(s).
@Kollege Messerschmitt
That bothered me too. What is with this really pervasive view that women don’t actually enjoy sex, just for the sake of sex?
But it (and the oral question) also made me laugh, because what sex acts I enjoy or do not enjoy is not really something I share with someone on the first date or upon first meeting or anything. So I’m not really sure how it can be associated with my perceived value as a hookup or potential girlfriend.
Viscaria, I think the theory runs “if women liked sex, they’d all be fucking me, and they aren’t, QED”
(Now watch as my pet cactus shows up)
I also liked how a woman loses points if she knows how to apply makeup to enhance her looks. The “correct” answer is that a woman should look the same with or without makeup. Apparently the genius who designed this test doesn’t realize that even models and actresses tend to look more conventionally attractive when made up.
And I’m not really concerned about my dating “market value” since I am (A) married and (B) still asked out on dates all the time. I think this is what some MRAs and PUAs find infuriating, the fact that women have better options. So, even if a woman had a “perfect” score on this test, fitting their stereotypical idea of attractive, which apparently means having tiny hands, a submissive personality, and anime-style eyes, they’ll just remind her that she better settle now before her market value declines. The impotent fury at women who may not need them is so transparent. It’s pathetic. Who on earth wants a partner that sticks around only out of low self-esteem?
The make up question was one of my favorite:
Technically, answer 3 is true for me. However, since I don’t wear make-up, that’s not exactly proof I have a face that could launch a thousand ships. (hint: I don’t)
I guess that like that like old and fat women, I’m undatable!
BTW, maybe it’s because I don’t use any, but I’m very bad at noticing make up. So, could someone confirm (or not) my hunch? On the two pictures, it seems to me that the left one has more make-up (and hair trimming) than the right one.
Actually, answer 2 works for me as well. Last time I had make-up, I looked like a murderous pregnant cheating widow, and the time before that I looked like a witch. Both on purpose.
…
Maybe 1 is true too, in light of this memory. I couldn’t say.
There ought to be a name for the fallacy that consists purely of rephrasing the original thesis in a slightly different manner and using that rephrasing as evidence of the original thesis.
Not to mention opening it with “believe it or not” or some such.
Feminists take PUAs wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too seriously. They should just be laughing/mocking/ridiculing them as their *game* consists of nothing but corny pick-up lines. Here’s an idea: READ their material and when a guy tries it on you,ask him if he learned from said PUA manual.
that’s basically what’s going on in this thread dude. (and um, y’know. this site) did you read it before you decided to throw in your usual brand of content-free contrarianism? do you need a pat on the head for noticing things?