Dating can be tough. It can be especially tough if your personality is a mixture of petulance and insecurity. And even tougher if you think you can argue someone who’s not interested in you into a second date with an angry, accusatory, sometimes hilarious, sometimes deeply unsettling 1600-word email. And no, I’m not speaking hypothetically here.
The email in question, written by a young investment banker named Mike to an unfortunate woman named Lauren after one less-than-great date, was posted on Reddit a couple of days ago, and has already gotten a lot of internetty attention, but some of you may not have seen it, so I thought I’d give it a little fisking anyway. Settle in; it’s going to be a long and bumpy ride. (Note: What follows below is most of the email; I’ve cut out a few passages here and there.)
Hi Lauren,
I’m disappointed in you. I’m disappointed that I haven’t gotten a response to my voicemail and text messages.
Well, we’re off to a not-so-good start. Perhaps she is, as they say, just not that into you?
FYI, I suggest that you keep in mind that emails sound more impersonal, harsher, and are easier to misinterpret than in-person or phone communication. After all, people can’t see someone’s body language or tone of voice in an email. I’m not trying to be harsh, patronizing, or insulting in this email. I’m honest and direct by nature, and I’m going to be that way in this email.
Gosh, I wonder why Lauren didn’t get back to him.
By the way, I did a google search, so that’s how I came across your email.
Google-stalking – always a nice touch. There’s no better way to charm a nice lady than by tracking down her personal information online.
I assume that you no longer want to go out with me. (If you do want to go out with me, then you should let me know.) I suggest that you make a sincere apology to me for giving me mixed signals. I feel led on by you.
Uh, what? She’s ignoring you, dude. She doesn’t want to go out with you. Seems to me she’s sending you a pretty unmixed message here.
Should she have responded to your voicemail and/or texts? In an ideal world, perhaps, but she may have sensed that you’d react precisely how you’re reacting now, and didn’t want to have anything more to do with your creepy, entitled bullshit.
And now Mike the banker makes his, er, “case” for why she should go on a second date with him:
Things that happened during our date include, but are not limited to, the following:
-You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening. I’ve never had a date where a woman played with her hair as much as you did. In addition, it didn’t look like you were playing with your hair out of nervousness.
You were flirting!! Hair-twirling = sex! If you don’t realize it you can google search it!!!
-We had lots of eye contact during our date. On a per-minute basis, I’ve never had as much eye contact during a date as I did with you.
Eye contact is an Indicator of Interest. IOI! IOI! If you didn’t want to bear my children why did you look at me, with your eyes????
-You said, “It was nice to meet you.” at the end of our date. A woman could say this statement as a way to show that she isn’t interested in seeing a man again or she could mean what she said–that it was nice to meet you. The statement, by itself, is inconclusive.
Well, not really. This is what people say to be polite at the end of a disappointing date, when they don’t want to see you again. If she wanted to see you again, she would have said something about making plans for a second date.
-We had a nice conversation over dinner. I don’t think I’m being delusional in saying this statement.
We had a conversation! You did not flee in horror! Therefore you must have my babies!!!
In my opinion, leading someone on (i.e., giving mixed signals) is impolite and immature. It’s bad to do that.
And sending someone who clearly wants nothing to do with you a long, creepy, accusatory tirade is polite?
Normally, I would not be asking for information if a woman and I don’t go out again after a first date. However, in our case, I’m curious because I think our date went well and that there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship.
Dude, you do understand that she has to actually like you too in order for there to be a relationship?
I think we should go out on a second date. In my opinion, our first date was good enough to lead to a second date.
You cannot argue someone into a second date! That’s not how it works.
Why am I writing you? Well, hopefully, we will go out again. Even if we don’t, I gain utility from expressing my thoughts to you.
Gain utility? Really? DATING IS NOT MICROECONOMICS!
In addition, even if you don’t want to go out again, I would like to get feedback as to why you wouldn’t want to go again. Normally, I wouldn’t ask a woman for this type of feedback after a first date, but this is an exception given I think we have a lot of potential.
Well, banker dude. You’re getting some feedback now. All over the internet.
If you don’t want to go again, then apparently you didn’t think our first date was good enough to lead to a second date. Dating or a relationship is not a Hollywood movie. It’s good to keep that in mind. In general, I thought the date went well and was expecting that we would go out on a second date.
So your argument is that she should go out with you, even though she doesn’t want to go out with you, because life isn’t perfect and you’re probably the best she really deserves?
Way to sell yourself, dude.
If you’re not interested in going out again, then I would have preferred if you hadn’t given those mixed signals. I feel led on.
Well, she’s not really responsible for you thinking that every woman who twirls her hair in your presence wants to have your babies.
We have a number of things in common.
Oh dear, sounds like we’ve got another “logical” argument coming up here.
I’ll name a few things: First, we’ve both very intelligent. Second, we both like classical music so much that we go to classical music performances by ourselves. In fact, the number one interest that I would want to have in common with a woman with whom I’m in a relationship is a liking of classical music. I wouldn’t be seriously involved with a woman if she didn’t like classical music. You said that you’re planning to go the NY Philharmonic more often in the future. As I said, I go to the NY Philharmonic often. You’re very busy. It would be very convenient for you to date me because we have the same interests. We already go to classical music performances by ourselves. If we go to classical music performances together, it wouldn’t take any significant additional time on your part.
Um, what?
I have no clever remark to make here, other than that Lauren is probably going to have to avoid going to the Philharmonic ever again, on the off chance she might run into banker Mike.
According to the internet, you’re 33 or 32, so, at least from my point of view, we’re a good match in terms of age.
YOU ARE RIGHT AGE. INTERNET SAYS SO. THEREFORE YOU MUST DATE ME.
I could name more things that we have in common, but I’ll stop here. I don’t understand why you apparently don’t want to go out with me again. We have numerous things in common.
Also, you both require oxygen to live. Lauren, can’t you see that you and banker Mike are soulmates?
I assume that you find me physically attractive. If you didn’t find me physically attractive, then it would have been irrational for you to go out with me in the first place. After all, our first date was not a blind date. You already knew what I looked like before our date.
Banker Mike: You said you wanted feedback. Here is some feedback. She was apparently not horrified by your physical appearance. It may be your horrible personality that needs some work.
Perhaps, you’re unimpressed that I manage my family’s investments and my own investments. Perhaps, you don’t think I have a “real” job. Well, I’ve done very well as an investment manager. I’ve made my parents several millions of dollars. That’s real money. That’s not monopoly money. In my opinion, if I make real money, it’s a real job. Donald Trump’s children work for his company. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. George Soros’s sons help manage their family investments. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so.
You’re fighting a losing battle here, dude. Just as you cannot argue someone into liking you, you cannot argue someone into being impressed that you manage your parents’ money.
In addition, I’m both a right-brain and left-brain man, given that I’m both an investment manager and a philosopher/writer.
And I’m the Queen of Denmark.
That’s a unique characteristic; most people aren’t like that. I’ve never been as disappointed and sad about having difficulty about getting a second date as I am with you.
Oy. As if this email wasn’t stalkerish enough already.
I’ve gone out with a lot of women in my life. (FYI, I’m not a serial dater. Sometimes, I’ve only gone out with a woman for one date.)
This last bit I have no trouble believing.
I suggest that we continue to go out and see what happens.
I suspect that Lauren has already played out various scenarios in her head already, and that none of them end well.
Needless to say, I find you less appealing now (given that you haven’t returned my messages) than I did at our first date. However, I would be willing to go out with you again. I’m open minded and flexible and am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wish you would give me the benefit of the doubt too.
So now you’re being noble and “open minded” for trying to pressure a woman who wants nothing to do with you into a second date?
If you don’t want to go out again, in my opinion, you would be making a big mistake, perhaps one of the biggest mistakes in your life.
Now you’re just making my skin crawl.
I spent time, effort, and money meeting you for dinner. Getting back to me in response to my messages would have been a reasonable thing for you to do. In addition, you arrived about 30 minutes late for our date. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if a man showed up thirty minutes late for a first date with you.
Here’s a solution, dude: How about she never goes on another date with you, ever. Then you won’t ever have to worry about her being late ever again.
If you’re concerned that you will hurt my feelings by providing specific information about why you don’t want to go with me again, well, my feeling are already hurt. I’m sad and disappointed about this situation. If you give information, at least I can understand the situation better. I might even learn something that is beneficial.
I hope you find the feedback that the internet has now provided you to be helpful.
If you don’t want to go out again, that I request that you call me and make a sincere apology for leading me on (i.e., giving me mixed signals).
Now we’re back on this again.
In my opinion, you shouldn’t act that way toward a man and then not go out with him again. It’s bad to play with your hair so much and make so much eye contact if you’re not interested in going out with me again.
Damn you, foul strumpet, and your devious hair-playing ways! Google it! GOOGLE IT!!!
I would like to talk to you on the phone.
I think you’ve pretty much guaranteed that this will never, ever happen.
Even if you don’t want to go out again, I would appreciate it if you give me the courtesy of calling me and talking to me. Yes, you might say things that hurt me, but my feelings are already hurt. Sending me an email response (instead of talking on the phone) would better than no response at all, but I think it would be better to talk on the phone. Email communication has too much potential for misinterpretation, etc.
Not much to misinterpret here, Mike. You’ve made it absolutely crystal clear that you’re an undateable creep.
Let me be serious for a moment. Forget about Lauren. Hell, forget about women in general for a while, and work on yourself. Get some therapy; you can afford it. Work through your bitterness, your petulance, your highly unattractive mixture of entitlement and insecurity. Stop being a “Nice Guy” and learn to be genuinely nice.
And don’t ever, ever, ever write another email like this one.
Brandon: Rape is more complicated since the variables are often subtle or unknown. I think my view is one that a lot of men share, in that the rapist is 100% at fault for committing the crime, but that women can change certain behavior to further minimize the risk of becoming a victim again.
I find it hard to believe that women have no options in preventing rape. Clothing, owning a gun, moving to safer cities, etc… I am not saying what will work and what wouldn’t, just that there has to be something besides feminists chanting “men don’t rape”.
Right… you don’t know what will work, so something (other than rape not being at all excusable, and never saying, “She asked for it by not doing enough to prevent it), must. Women are therefore required to do these, unknown; and apparently unknowable things, but if they don’t they are to blame.
After all, waling around in a dress some man finds so attractive he can’t help but rape a woman is just like a man walking around screaming racial epithets in a minority neighborhood.
She chose to wear that dress, and some dude found it sexy, totes her fault.
@Caraz: Actually anything that is attention grabbing, controversial or provocative will do. It could be a racist screaming hateful slurs or noticing that 200K Lamborghini driving by you.
@Bostonian: Who says I don’t show compassion for rape victims? I will be the first to jump on the “throw his ass in jail so he can’t hurt another person” bandwagon.
@amandajane: Ya, I saw that a while ago. She takes a 10 second joke (the whole “wouldn’t it be awesome/cool/etc… if I could detach my vagina so men wouldn’t bother me” gag). and drags it on for 5 minutes. The first minute was funny…the rest sucked.
“I find it hard to believe that women have no options in preventing rape. Clothing, owning a gun, moving to safer cities, etc… I am not saying what will work and what wouldn’t, just that there has to be something besides feminists chanting ‘men don’t rape’.”
Brandon, do you own a gun? Do you never go outside without wearing it? How would you feel about your life if you felt the same need to keep it on you that a woman would?
Rapists don’t give a shit what you’re wearing. People have been raped in their PJs, young children have been raped, women in burquas have been raped.
Sure, I’ll just move to a totally different city–how much money I currently make, my job in THIS city, and all the other factors involved don’t matter! I really shouldn’t just be tempting rapists by living in “unsafe city” in the first place!
That’s a clear answer like we like them!
“Clothing, owning a gun, moving to safer cities, etc…”
* Clothing: someday, I’d like to see the statistic that say that the chance of getting raped increase with the quantity of skin visible.
* owning a gun: didn’t Pecunium talked about it a little while ago? If I’m not mistaking, it was a very informed piece basically saying “it’s not as easy as it sound, it requires loads of training and constant paranoia”. Also, not a possibility at all for under-aged.
* moving out: so, basically, all the women should move to the same town? (the one with the lowest danger) Sure, that’s sound like a great solution. Also, being away from your family and friends doesn’t seem like the safest thing to me.
And what about men? They’re at more risk to be assaulted I believe, so should they all follow the same rules? (minus number 1)
That means we either end up with only one city in the world, or maybe one for each gender.
What about the victims that were raped by a member of their family, or a boyfriend or spouse, do you really think their clothes have anything to do with the problem?
If you were a woman, would you be ready to never dress sexy (and if yo ask Meller what that means, you’ll realize “not sexy by anyone’s critter” is very hard to find) to always have a gun ready to be used in the minute, whether you’re with your family, your girlfriend, at work or wherever and to choose the place you live in based on rape stats?
Plus, obviously, what Caraz said.
And the same things that I asked Meller, do you thing you can upset or provoke a man enough to make him a rapist? And does anything that was said here would do the job, as Meller implied?
Children are raped.
Women in their 80s and 90s are raped.
Women who have disabilities are raped.
The majority of rapes are done by partners, spouses, or others that the women know; stranger rape in dark alleys by CERTIFIEDTHUGRAPISTS are relatively small percentage of rapes.
Anyone who says that there are precautions women ought to take to “prevent” rape is a rape apologist
The only common denominator in a rape is the presence of a rapist.
Any man OR woman who comes onto a site and lectures women on how to prevent rape deserves nothing but mocking.
Obligatory disclaimer: yes, men are raped. Yes, the same principles apply.
Oh, wow, Brandon is telling us what’s funny now! Should I be taking notes?
I was raped when I was 5. I was wearing pants and a t-shirt at the time. My rapist was my babysitter. We lived in a safe, suburban middle class neighborhood with low crime in general.
What did I do to provoke it? How could I have prevented my rape?
How many of us *knew* Brandon was gonna go here? He isn’t talking about the Holocaust, but he seems to have nicely proved the point that he’ll say anything at all if he thinks it’ll help some poorly-thought-out argument.
I don’t think I’d use the word, paranoia about carrying a weapon, but a much more constant attention to what’s going on, with more time spent assessing threats.
But this isn’t about rape. It’s about Meller saying women who are uppity, and talk about being treated as equals and saying men ought not be allowed to treat them as property might be attacked, and that this is perfectly understandable.
And it’s about Brandon agreeing with that, and saying that if such people are attacked they brought it on themselves by not taking the right sorts of preventative measures.
Which would be, you know, shutting up and treating men with the respect they “deserve”.
Amused: I’m not sure that the issues around asperger’s autism are always medicalization or pathologizing: IF there’s “omg drug them” then that’s a concern (the US is way too fond of slapping drugs into people).
However, the idea that the human brain has a lot of quirks and we’re only able to talk about them now is one that is interesting–even with potential for abuse. And i’m not sure we’re just talking about ‘personality flaws’ or ‘quirks’ as such.
And you’ll get my anti-depressant away from me only if you drag it out of my cold dead hands, and even then ZombieIthiliana might come after you.
It’s not just wrong but oxymoronic that a person could choose to not be raped. That’s why they call it rape–because you don’t get to choose.
I think everyone who gets all mealy-mouthed about “I’m not saying they deserved it, I’m just saying they could have prevented it” is really saying “failing to prevent rape is basically consent, and since rape is preventable and women know how, all rapes are really consensual sex.” Tadaa, rape has now been logiced out of existence! You’ve ended rape and are history’s greatest hero.
Which one of these is equivalent to “a woman outdoors”?
Oh, I’m sorry, a woman outdoors wearing the wrong clothes (which are those? I’m gonna need diagrams. where do rapists stand on, say, tank tops? what if they’re wide-strap? complicated issues!) unarmed in a bad city (like, say, the one she lives and works in) is like a 200k Lamborghini.
Sure, if he’s a thugrapist slavering beast. What if he’s a nice guy with a really convincing story about how it was just a confusing situation and he thinks she’s just having morning-after regrets?
Sheesh. Anti-feminists have no sense of humor.
(Also, “bother” is not the word. “Rape” is the word.)
Amused: You are semi-right: it is possible to diagnose yourself with anything (the tendency of psychology students to discover they have every disease they’re studying is called Med Student’s Syndrome). However, there are a couple of factors that separate personality differences from actual illnesses: whether you have all the symptoms or just a couple, severity of symptoms, and (most crucially) distress caused.
For instance, hypergraphia is not just “liking to write.” If you feel compelled to write thousands of wrods a day, can’t stop even if you want to and are distressed by the amount you write, that’s hypergraphia. And even if you have it, no one can diagnose you with a particular illness unless you show other symptoms of it.
@Molly: I have owned a gun. I also fired a variety of weapons while in the Army. I also know a few women that own pistols and keep them in their purse. They don’t seem to walk around like paranoid schizophrenics. They actually have said they feel more at ease and safer. Plus, on a side note, girls owning guns is a massive turn-on for me. So I always support more gun ownership for law-abiding women. Hell, I might even MARRY a girl that can clean a AR-15 properly.
Yes…and people have died in a car accident while wearing a seat belt. That doesn’t change the fact that wearing a seat belt reduces your risk of dying in a car crash. This isn’t about “ending all rape”, it is about making you a less vulnerable target. Rape exists, it most likely isn’t going to end any time soon (hey, we are still murdering each other!).
@Kyrie: Those were just examples I thought of off the top of my head. Moving to another city is extreme, but it is an option.
Do you know what a lot of men do to protect themselves from assault? They lift weights, conceal carry, learn a martial art, etc… A lot of men I know have the attitude of “Fuck you, I won’t let you make me a victim”. I think this is good, since they are taking a proactive and not reactive position on danger, risk and self protection.
Clothing matters. I wouldn’t walk into a feminist group wearing a “I Love Single Moms, Cause They’re Easy” T-shirt thinking that everything will be fine and dandy. It would most likely draw a lot of attention and I might get into a few heated arguments. I most likely wouldn’t get shot or raped, but I could get slapped or assaulted because of it. So the idea that clothing is a non-issue is absurd.
Also, I’m highly amused about how “burning the flag” has become synonymous with disrespect. Actually, burning the flag is one of a handful of correct ways to dispose of a flag, according to the Flag Code. You’re not supposed to just throw it out…
But Brandon, it’s WRONG for someone to slap you because of your Single Moms Are Easy shirt. If they did, it’s assault and they should be arrested. Nonconsensual violence is not an appropriate response to anything except violence.
Also, I managed to crawl naked in bed with someone and not be raped. Huh. It’s almost as if people can control themselves…
If “let” were a part of it, that would be consent. Rape victims don’t “let” themselves be raped and that’s why we call it rape..
Saying “you let yourself be raped” is logically equivalent to “you consented, you just didn’t realize you were consenting.
Also you’re full of shit, most men just walk around and they’re fine. Plus, women have to worry about being mugged too, but men aren’t generally socialized to live in fear of stranger rape.
I can’t make a promise for every member of every feminist group, but in any I’ve been in, you’d just be told to get the fuck out. Because good people don’t assault no matter what you look like. This “everyone has their limit” business only makes sense to people who think everyone is just as violence-prone as they are.
But hey. I won’t go out wearing a “I consent to sex with anyone who sees this shirt!” t-shirt.
Will that make me not get raped?
Or is the “correct” clothing to avoid rape in fact an incredibly arbitrary and subjective code that’s only ever applied retroactively anyway?
I have never ever heard of someone saying of an assault or mugging victim ‘they should have lifted some more weights or learnt a martial art’.
I have heard people say of rape or sexual assault victims that they should have dressed differently or that they should have somehow known what their attacker was planning.
Brandon: @Molly: I have owned a gun. I also fired a variety of weapons while in the Army.
So no, you don’t own a gun.
I also know a few women that own pistols and keep them in their purse. They don’t seem to walk around like paranoid schizophrenics. They actually have said they feel more at ease and safe
Feel safe /= is safe.
Yes…and people have died in a car accident while wearing a seat belt. That doesn’t change the fact that wearing a seat belt reduces your risk of dying in a car crash
Seat belts are passive devices. One puts it on, or one doesn’t. They are designed to deal with accident People who rape other people are active. They make the choice, not me. Which means there is no accident. It also means your convenient list, is absolutely not relevant to this.
Do you know what a lot of men do to protect themselves from assault? They lift weights, conceal carry, learn a martial art, etc… A lot of men I know have the attitude of “Fuck you, I won’t let you make me a victim”.
And when someone doesn’t, or when said dude is blindsided, no one says, “dude, you didn’t wear your bulletproof vest. You totally deserved to be shot.”
Clothing matters. I wouldn’t walk into a feminist group wearing a “I Love Single Moms, Cause They’re Easy” T-shirt thinking that everything will be fine and dandy. It would most likely draw a lot of attention and I might get into a few heated arguments.
And you’ve said you do the equivalent, to get a rise out of people, so it’s a bad analogy to someone who wears a mid-knee skirt and cardigan as is attacked by someone who has a thing for schoolgirls.
And, this isn’t about rape. It’s about you saying women who are too actively feminist have themselves to blame if someone attacks them, because men reacting to that sort of, “provocation” is perfectly understandable.
So hey. I’ve been working in emergency services for four years now, two on an ambulance, two in the ER. You know how many people I’ve seen who were raped by a stranger?
One. One in four years. It does happen.
You know how many people I see who were raped by a boyfriend, husband, ex, date, family member, babysitter, friend, boss? About one a week.
So much for “watch yourself when you go out”–more people are raped in their own homes.
@Molly: BTW, If I actually had a daughter. I would totally try this. It’s quality father-daughter time.
@Ozy:I am aware of how to dispose of a flag. The problem isn’t that someone is burning it, it’s the fact they are burning it to show they are anti-american. So doing something that is anti-american on the Fourth of July is tacky, in bad taste and will most definitely get you some unwanted attention if you do it around people (e.g a parade).
Yes, it is wrong for someone to slap me, that doesn’t mean that I am just going to allow them to slap me without me fighting back or avoiding getting slapped.
@Holly: I think you are over thinking this. The point I am trying to make is that women should find some effective manner of fighting off a rape. If you don’t like guns, there is always pepper spray or a tazer. The point is to not just roll over if it happens and just accept it.
I guess it depends on the social circle you are in. If you are in a urban, democrat, liberal group, then no…the majority of them won’t own a gun.
Aren’t you from Boston? Well, I live and worked in the area too and most people in the Boston area don’t own guns. Go to Texas and it is different story.
@Holly: So if the majority of rapes happen in the home by a husband, boyfriend or ex. You know how you can reduce your risk? Live by yourself.
You make it sound like “oh okay.” It’s more like “I don’t want to die.”
And it can also be like “I was not prepared to shoot my own stepdad. I did not expect my brother’s friend to suddenly barge into my room while I was sleeping. I did not have my taser handy when my boss called me into his office and locked the door behind me. My husband made sure my pepper spray was out of reach before he raped me.”
Okay, this is just officially fucking ridiculous.
Either that or it’s your ironic admission that there’s no reasonable way for a person with an ordinary life to prevent rape. It’s sort of funny if I think you have the capacity for self-parody. I’m pretty sure you don’t though.
There’s a kernel of truth in that. If I were advising a rape victim in any capacity, one of the things I would want to advise xir on is how to develop a safety plan. But that would be, at least in part, for xir own peace of mind. There is, of course, evidence that someone who’s been raped is at a greater risk for being raped again. Some of this is attributable to familial/relationship/circumstantial rape; i.e., a patient at a nursing home being raped by xir caretaker repeatedly, a migrant farmworker being raped by the raitero, a kid being raped by xir uncle/aunt/stepmother/stepfather, etc. Some of it is attributable to brain changes that occur after trauma. So yeah, it’s good to want to keep rape victims safe (if you’re in a professional relationship where you’re advocating for them or advising them) either by removing them from a dangerous situation or by making sure that they have a way to deal with the trauma and heal.
But that’s something that should be done in a way that in no way implicates “If you had done this differently, the rape would not have occurred.” Basically, there’s nothing that a rape victim did or didn’t do that caused the rape or made them deserve it. And by saying “If you had done something differently …” you’re that they caused it, they deserved it.
The people who are at largest risk for nonintimate partner rape are very young people (29% of forcible rape victims are 11 or under), homeless people, immigrants, Native Americans, prior victims of rape, disabled people, and LGBTQ people. Rapists are predators. They look for people who are vulnerable, accessible, and appear to lack credibility. They might target someone who’s had too much to drink and can’t fight back. They might target a “bad” kid with an unstable home life. They might target someone with a disability who lives in a home that they have access to. What rapists don’t do is target victims based on what they wear. And the victims at highest risk (look at the list above if you need a refresher, Brandon) can’t get a gun and can’t move. Where’s the money to do any of this? Where are you going to put your gun if you’re homeless? Who’s going to take you to get your gun if you’re mentally disabled and don’t have a driver’s license? How is pulling a gun on your attacker going to help you if your attacker is your supervisor at the tomato farm?
If you are concerned about rape victims and want to help, there are better ways of doing this than chanting “men don’t rape” — it’s true. And feminists are doing those things, Brandon. You and your unhelpful ideas and your misconceptions about rape — are not.