Most people who hate Katherine Heigl hate the actress because she seems like a bit of a diva, or because she keeps appearing in annoying rom-coms, including one with Ashton Kutcher that hurts my head when I even think about it. The fellas at Register-Her.com have another reason: she hates balls. As in, testicles.
Well, not really. What the Register-Her fellas are worked up about is a PSA she did for Funny or Die in which she claims to be in favor of neutering pets not because she loves animals but simply because she hates balls so much. At one point she declares, tongue firmly in cheek:
I can’t cut the nuts off human men … yet. So, I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, cause that’s legal.
The joke here, as any rational person can plainly see, isn’t that cutting off balls is inherently hilarious. The joke is that an actress with a reputation as a diva is basically doing her critics one better by portraying herself as a deranged, narcissistic, supremely creepy ball-hater. And she’s spoofing her own bad reputation for a genuinely good cause: reducing cat and dog overpopulation and therefore the number of unwanted animals that are put to death in our nation’s animal shelters.
Of course that’s not how the fellas at Register-Her.com see it. And so they’ve put Heigl on their faux “offender registry” as a “bigot.” Their explanation?
The actress’s willingness to endorse male targeted sexual mutilation betrays a bigoted indifference to sexual violence, and justifies her inclusion on this registry in the category of bigot.
Presumably the fellas at Register-Her will next go after the people who have posted the more than twenty thousand YouTube videos that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts. Surely these videos, which feature actual violence against actual human balls are a far graver threat to the balls of the world than even Katherine Heigl.
The Register-Her Action Squad might start by tracking down the (admittedly quite ingenious) ball-hating dudes involved in this video.
And then move on to all the ball-hating bigots featured here:
And here are 50 more:
Better track down the ghost of Scott Joplin, too, for providing the music to the last one from beyond the grave.
Arks, you said that this will begin in five to ten years. Short of introducing G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate into the air processors, how do you intend to get us to agree to the barbarism you suggest?
Holly,
I am on birth control
RIGHT NOW.
I’m even killing the guys I do sleep with! Dear god, the horror!!
In other news, I don’t know any human being over the age of 25 or so who thinks having one’s cervix jackhammered is something women want. Even if you’ve never hit a cervix yourself or had your own hit, you’d think the knowledge would be shared through cultural osmosis.
Generally, dude, you’re oppressed because women don’t want to have sex with you! That’s totally comparable to actual oppression, sure. You know
So is the pile of clothes near my bed. It doubled in two days! if it continues at this, it will recover the world in… about 66 days! (not counting the depth of oceans and since it’s currently 20×30 cm²)
Why just men? Aren’t men also genociding me when they don’t have sex with me? Do you think men never say “no”?
Arks, if you are an example of the growing manosphere, I fear for the future of logic and science. You do not know how evolution works. But really, with the direction the MRM is going, historically, it can only be compared to previous hate groups. If you were really an oppressed group, you’d focus on making allies. You aren’t doing that. Maybe you should learn from how other (actually) discriminated groups gained power and focus on actual issues men face that even Feminists can, and often do, get behind. Not the ignorant screed you have here about who is fucking who.
Hey, wait a second… I’ve never had a kid. My boyfriend is unwilling to do me without a condom. (I don’t want him to, but that’s irrelevant right now.)
I AM BEING GENOCIDED TO DEATH.
Note, I do not actually fear for the future of logic and science from the MRM. They are far removed from anything approaching scientific discourse (as much as Toysoldier likes to pretend). There are far worse out there causing issues.
Can we ban Ark? He’s seriously frightening me in ways even NWO hasn’t managed to achieve.
Kyrie – The 80% thing comes from the proven scientific fact that 20% of men sleep with all of the women, while 80% of men cry themselves to sleep every night.
There are rumors of a human social structure called a “couple,” in which one man sleeps with one woman, but surely this can’t be, because we know that five-somes around an Alpha male are the usual form of sex and romance, right? Certainly all of my friends and coworkers and classmates and neighbors are in five-somes, the same kind depicted and glamorized in all media.
Rumors of single women, like rumors of something called a “gay person,” are purely spurious and do not even deserve mention.
Oh, right. So that make them the 40%, and us the 60%, including presumably the army and the police (because they usually don’t like violent and sudden take over). That’s not as really as impressive or as catchy as “we are the 99%”
Can we ban Ark? He’s seriously frightening me in ways even NWO hasn’t managed to achieve.
arks is specifically who this site is designed to make fun of. david quotes people who are just as awful in his articles. as long as he’s not ruining every thread he posts in or advocating violence against specific posters he’s not likely to get banned.
“The partial or complete removal of female sexual agency. There’s a reason why we had institutions of marriage, or fathers and brothers controlling their daughters choices for most of history and it’s because unrestrained female sexuality is detrimental to civilisation. When women are given the freedom to pursue their own desires they instinctively act in ways that undermine the structures of society. Their partner choice is both irresponsible and destructive and ruins things for everyone. -”
Arranged marriage societies were HYPERGAMY HEAVEN – Everybody tried to marry their daughter up as far as they could. And plenty of them had polygyny. So… I don’t think that’s the solution. No society was about making sure that women married a nice beta instead of the top guy they could find.So, how is this a solution? Mormon fundamentalists compounds are all about arranging marriage. Look up lost boys, and see the deals fathers make. You want something working at exact cross purposes to what you supposedly want.
Also, anthropology. Societies have practiced many marriage forms. Still do. Promise.
Aren’t all the men fathers and brothers DON’T let their daughters and sisters sleep with being genocided by other men?
Hey Arks, let’s play “Why Aren’t You Getting Any?” The game is played by looking at the following list, and guessing which statements are false and which are true. Here we go!
Why you aren’t getting any:
1) Women wear high heels
2) You don’t jackhammer cervixes nearly enough
3) Women are destroying society in a deliberate attempt to keep you sexually frustrated
4) You refer to some parts of the female anatomy as “slobbering crotch maws”
5) You openly advocate institutionalized rape
Good luck to our fine contestant, and to all of the audience members playing at home!
Viscaria, questions like that usually provoke a very sad personal story about how he tried not advocating mass rape, he tried it for a really long time, but nobody slept with him so mass rape it is.
It turns out that “genocide heels are a real thing, oddly enough. 🙂
.Arks – “When women are given the freedom to pursue their own desires they instinctively act in ways that undermine the structures of society. Their partner choice is both irresponsible and destructive and ruins things for everyone. ”
The Orango Islander women, until recent contact with Protestant missionaries, believed only women should pursue men and propose marriage. This was a marriage institution, and they believed strongly in monogamy, but it was believed that it was unseemly for men to pursue women, instead of the other way around. In fact, REFUSING a woman’s marriage proposal is often considered bad form. Still is in the minds of the older folks.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orango
http://www.antropologi.info/blog/anthropology/2007/on_african_island_only_women_are_allowed
Where were the harems? where was the destruction of everything? This is the most “woman choice centered” society, arguably, that anthropologists have ever described? (And I would argue it’s a raw deal/oppressive to men IN THE MATE CHOICE AND PURSUIT AREA)
Or are you gonna go for the same weird “they didn’t invent the telephone so blah blah blha blah” that some mra’s do to dismiss other cultures, who keep existing at you?
Also, the Dinka that I mentioned, tallest people on earth, often practiced arranged marriage by the wife’s family. and often the highest ranking males had large harems, even hundreds of wives – So, height and harems don’t seem to be the result of women being let free to go wild.
http://www.everyculture.com/Africa-Middle-East/Dinka-Marriage-and-Family.html
Holly, you’re so totally right.
Actually that makes me realize that the way I wrote that out is somewhat problematic as it seems to suggest that there aren’t any decent, non-rape-advocating straight and bi dudes who have trouble finding interested women. I guess what I’m trying to say is: those men exist, and Arks, you are not them.
Why just men? Aren’t men also genociding me when they don’t have sex with me?
That’s a good point. Since I got married, I have been murdered by ALL BUT ONE PERSON ON EARTH. They’re not kidding when they say marriage is rough.
Viscaria, questions like that usually provoke a very sad personal story about how he tried not advocating mass rape, he tried it for a really long time, but nobody slept with him so mass rape it is.
I always love the “how I learned to stop worrying and love being a gigantic douchebag” testimonials. It was SO HARD not going around screaming “bitch” and threatening to rape people! So hard it would make you cry! And sometimes you could go through all the painful, painful effort of not spitting directly in a strange woman’s face, and she still wouldn’t spontaneously yank your pants down and beg you to jackhammer her cervix! So what was even the point?
Btw, I hope you realize that right now, I’m genociding your husband, with the help of 3.5 billions of women!!! (evil laugh)
“arks is specifically who this site is designed to make fun of. david quotes people who are just as awful in his articles. as long as he’s not ruining every thread he posts in or advocating violence against specific posters he’s not likely to get banned.”
Yeah, you’re right. I’m just letting my anger get the better of me. It’s better to laugh at people like him.
“I always love the “how I learned to stop worrying and love being a gigantic douchebag” testimonials. It was SO HARD not going around screaming “bitch” and threatening to rape people! So hard it would make you cry! And sometimes you could go through all the painful, painful effort of not spitting directly in a strange woman’s face, and she still wouldn’t spontaneously yank your pants down and beg you to jackhammer her cervix! So what was even the point?”
And then when they talk about how they found a community that could help them, and feminists had done nothing! NOTHING! it’s just gravy and sprinkles!
But to be fair, I’m pretty sure he started to genocide us first.
Guuuuuuuuys I’m being genocided by Johnny Depp.
More disturbing, all of us owner of uterus are being genocided by Arks. Is it weird I’m not sad being metaphorically dead?