Most people who hate Katherine Heigl hate the actress because she seems like a bit of a diva, or because she keeps appearing in annoying rom-coms, including one with Ashton Kutcher that hurts my head when I even think about it. The fellas at Register-Her.com have another reason: she hates balls. As in, testicles.
Well, not really. What the Register-Her fellas are worked up about is a PSA she did for Funny or Die in which she claims to be in favor of neutering pets not because she loves animals but simply because she hates balls so much. At one point she declares, tongue firmly in cheek:
I can’t cut the nuts off human men … yet. So, I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, cause that’s legal.
The joke here, as any rational person can plainly see, isn’t that cutting off balls is inherently hilarious. The joke is that an actress with a reputation as a diva is basically doing her critics one better by portraying herself as a deranged, narcissistic, supremely creepy ball-hater. And she’s spoofing her own bad reputation for a genuinely good cause: reducing cat and dog overpopulation and therefore the number of unwanted animals that are put to death in our nation’s animal shelters.
Of course that’s not how the fellas at Register-Her.com see it. And so they’ve put Heigl on their faux “offender registry” as a “bigot.” Their explanation?
The actress’s willingness to endorse male targeted sexual mutilation betrays a bigoted indifference to sexual violence, and justifies her inclusion on this registry in the category of bigot.
Presumably the fellas at Register-Her will next go after the people who have posted the more than twenty thousand YouTube videos that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts. Surely these videos, which feature actual violence against actual human balls are a far graver threat to the balls of the world than even Katherine Heigl.
The Register-Her Action Squad might start by tracking down the (admittedly quite ingenious) ball-hating dudes involved in this video.
And then move on to all the ball-hating bigots featured here:
And here are 50 more:
Better track down the ghost of Scott Joplin, too, for providing the music to the last one from beyond the grave.
Arks, you and Meller should hang out. On an island, very far away from the rest of us.
“I’m a bit biased here because I can’t walk in heels at all and hate them deeply. But hey, as I’m a 5’1″ person who doesn’t wear heels, MRAL ought to love me, because I am extremely humble and gracious in letting even average-size men tower above me!”
I actually am dominant in the way I relate to men (if I find them attractive), and I’m only 5ft2! My love of heels probably balances out the good feminist karma created by Holly’s loathing of them, though.
But really, think about how irrational you’re being, MRAL. Here you have three actual genuine castrating feminist bitches (Kristin, Holly, and me), and we’re both tiny. Do you think we’re less able to boss you around because we’re tiny? Meanwhile, we have a hypothetical woman who’s 5ft10, and not remotely feminist. In fact, let’s imagine she’s really old fashioned, like one of the Duggars. Which woman is going to be more inclined to be dominating towards you? Why do you feel more threatened by, and why?
You better start working on whatever is going on mentally/emotionally that makes you assume women who make you feel insecure are out to get you soon, before you turn into Arks.
Speaking of Arks…women’s “slobbering crotch maws” are to blame for the fact that taller men do better in terms of their careers? How so? Unless the career in question is actor (clearly not the case, since most actors are tiny), model, or gigolo, I’m not seeing how that’s supposed to work.
(Are we sure Arks is for real? He’s almost too full of batshit misogynist lunacy to be real. Maybe he’s actually a feminist grad student doing some sort of performance art.)
I wish we could post pictures directly. I’m sure there’s a nice trophy or mug reading “UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR” I could award here.
Okay, obviously you’re a trolly troll, but really now?
All I can say is try it. Fucking try it. Have your gender war. It’ll be like a thousand angry dudes tops (most of them unwilling to participate if it means showing their faces, much less genuine risk) against just about every husband, boyfriend, father, brother, uncle, best friend, and decent man out there. Nobody’s going to be willing to play “boys vs. girls” with you, so sorry.
Also, by the way, there’s this thing called a “couple” people tend to assort themselves into. The “alpha males with harems” thing doesn’t occur all that often in nature (especially when you’re out of college, but even then, really, people still date and marry regular). This is fairly obvious to anyone with even minimal participation in human society.
Well, presumably, you’re talking about women who are (a) not 10 years old, and (b) making decisions other than whether to drive drunk. So there’s that.
This … I actually buy. Arks, are you a feminist grad student? Are you a class of feminist grad students doing a project? We won’t judge; you can tell us.
“Humans are glorified vehicles for genes. So when a woman refuses to sleep with a man, she is symbolically killing him. Her neglect is directly responsible for the death of his genetic legacy, no different from a mother who lets her children starve to death. When put in place on a cultural/global scale, it becomes genocide.”
Thanks, Ark. I needed a good laugh today.
” So when a woman refuses to sleep with a man, she is symbolically killing him. Her neglect is directly responsible for the death of his genetic legacy”
You make it sound like there are no women in the world having sex with anyone. If you don’t have sex with one woman, you may have sex with another. Plenty of fish in the sea you big silly.
“Their partner choice is both irresponsible and destructive and ruins things for everyone.”
Ruins things for you, you mean. My boyfriend is working hard to help pull Ireland out of the recession. I don’t think that’s ruining anything. Unless you want a recession O.o
What have you contributed to the world lately?
i want to go to the school where you can take classes on fakeposting. i would be the best at that school.
@ Holly “All I can say is try it. Fucking try it. Have your gender war. It’ll be like a thousand angry dudes tops (most of them unwilling to participate if it means showing their faces, much less genuine risk) against just about every husband, boyfriend, father, brother, uncle, best friend, and decent man out there. Nobody’s going to be willing to play “boys vs. girls” with you, so sorry.”
Ooo, scary. I’m sure many oppressed groups were told the exact same thing, in attempts to shame and scare them off. Hell, isn’t this precisely the narrative feminists like to use?
Fact is, the manosphere is growing rapidly. More and more men are realising that they’re being cheated, and more and more men are running out of options and desperately seeking a solution. It’s no longer a question of if the misandry bubble will burst, but when.
I give it 5-10 years tops before Occupy Stupid Whore Vaginas becomes a reality. Because we are the 80%, and taking things lying down is a woman’s job.
Aren’t the whore vaginas already pretty thoroughly occupied? I mean, that’s kinda part of what makes them whore vaginas.
Even if the 80-20 thing was a reality (and it’s not, have you seriously never heard of this thing called a couple, I swear to you it still exists, some people even get married if you can imagine), even then…
You’d be the 40%.
“Because we are the 80%”
If 80% of all men were as hopeless as you, the world would be in worse shit than it is now =P
Oh God. I’ve mass-murdered three billion people!
Over the course of my life, I have killed all but three people on Earth! Four if you count the guy who gave me a hand job.
I know MRAs don’t like science, but the increase in human height is entirely due to nutrition, especially prenatal nutrition. Immigrant families in the U.S., regardless of ethnic background, reach average U.S. height within three generations.
Asian countries used to average shorter than the rest of the world, but that’s changing as they adopt Western-style diets. Even Japan, once the shortest industrialized nation on Earth, is getting taller. It’s a shame, because traditional Asian diets are a lot healthier overall, but I guess it does mean more Chinese basketball players.
Arks: Are women who aren’t allowed to reproduce victims of genocide as well?
Also, the vast majority of humans are either monogamous or monogamish. Of poly networks, there are as many male-dominated networks as female-dominated.
Monsieur: As a person who is friends with several people with bipolar, FUCK YOU.
Also, hey, I’m sure I don’t want the answer to this, but “Occupy Stupid Whore Vaginas” just means mass rape, right? Or, like, mass forced marriage including rape and maybe keeping her in the basement or something?
Just getting clear on that.
Even if 80% of men are horribly getting snubbed in favor of alpha males (this is not true), I seriously don’t think 80% of men are going to be all for turning into fucking Buffalo Bill over this.
…I worry sometimes that you are, though. 🙁
My dad is 5’8″ because my mother actively dislikes tall men (around six feet is officially “too tall”), but my brother and I both ended up tall anyway. I had to marry this guy just to keep the genocide in check:
http://www.narbonic.com/cam_display_us.jpg
(Okay, okay, we’re actually about the same height. I’m wearing ARROGANT i am ARROGANT FUCK BITCH heels.)
(I am definitely arrogant, by the way. On account of being so awesome.)
The only kind of activism you MRAs know is carrying an assault rifle into a women’s gym.
Occupy Stupid Whore Vaginas. You mean… rape? o.O
“Removal of human rights is a touchy subject these days, but think about it. Would you give your 10 year old a bowie knife? Would you hand a drunk man the keys to your car? Then why would you give women control over their own lives?”
Arks, honey, you can take your suggestion that my human rights be removed for the good of other people and shove it right up your ass. You know, that thing you like to talk out of.
No hellkel, don’t send Arks away, he’s funny! I know that’s probably because he’s new, but still, that’s so fun all these new crazy misogynists theory. And you don’t even need to make him admit anything, he’ll just admit things like he’s against human’s rights. How rare is that!? Please, pretty please. Or make an island with internet connection.
Wouha. Thinks of the implications! Right know, I’m symbolically killing all human males! Including my boyfriend, because we use this evil thing called condoms. You know what that means, right? We beat our genes! They manipulate us into having sex but we don’t make babies! Mouhahahaha, I got rid of my dark passenger, now I’m free to live a life full of other things than baby raising!
So, are lesbians and nuns dangerous criminals? Are gays suicidal, or masochists?
Are people who adopt kids just plain stupid?
I mentioned that because that means girls will be taller too if we select only tall men.
always, really?
What about women who have several boyfriends or sex partner?
What do you call “these days”? Do you think those laws are bad? (sayyessayyessayyessayyessayyes)
So, men too angry to get a girlfriend are “oppressed” now? Nice.
Actually, though, fact is the manosphere alienates itself with its hate-rich, logic-poor positions. I love this blog, don’t get me wrong — but honestly, we don’t need to mock the MRM. The MRM makes fun of itself.
Now, if y’all would stop holding such stupid positions and concentrate on issues that men actually face, instead of issues that you pretend you face, like sadly not being able to rape with impunity and horrifyingly sometimes having to deal with women walking down the same street as you, maybe you’d actually get somewhere.
Now see, that’s what I’m talking about. Funnel some of that stupid, unproductive energy into something productive, like raising money for homeless veterans. There’s a good Arks. Run along now.
i wouldnt call ‘removal of human rights’ a touchy subject. in the us we have a whole political party based around the idea.
Wow Arks, I guess by making mass rape your stated goal we can be reasonably sure you don’t have a hidden agenda.
Shouldn’t it be Occupy Slobbering Crotch Maws?
I still can’t get over the fact that YouTube has all the makings of its own, “Ow, My Balls!” channel.
For realz???
My goodness, that is sooooo disturbing.
“Aren’t the whore vaginas already pretty thoroughly occupied? I mean, that’s kinda part of what makes them whore vaginas.”
I’m also thinking that the men who’re currently very much enjoying occupying them are not going to take this lying down. After all, that’s a woman’s job! It’s sure going to suck for Arks when all the alpha males, who’re currently the only men getting laid, start beating him up for trying to occupy the vaginas of their ladyfriends.