Most people who hate Katherine Heigl hate the actress because she seems like a bit of a diva, or because she keeps appearing in annoying rom-coms, including one with Ashton Kutcher that hurts my head when I even think about it. The fellas at Register-Her.com have another reason: she hates balls. As in, testicles.
Well, not really. What the Register-Her fellas are worked up about is a PSA she did for Funny or Die in which she claims to be in favor of neutering pets not because she loves animals but simply because she hates balls so much. At one point she declares, tongue firmly in cheek:
I can’t cut the nuts off human men … yet. So, I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, cause that’s legal.
The joke here, as any rational person can plainly see, isn’t that cutting off balls is inherently hilarious. The joke is that an actress with a reputation as a diva is basically doing her critics one better by portraying herself as a deranged, narcissistic, supremely creepy ball-hater. And she’s spoofing her own bad reputation for a genuinely good cause: reducing cat and dog overpopulation and therefore the number of unwanted animals that are put to death in our nation’s animal shelters.
Of course that’s not how the fellas at Register-Her.com see it. And so they’ve put Heigl on their faux “offender registry” as a “bigot.” Their explanation?
The actress’s willingness to endorse male targeted sexual mutilation betrays a bigoted indifference to sexual violence, and justifies her inclusion on this registry in the category of bigot.
Presumably the fellas at Register-Her will next go after the people who have posted the more than twenty thousand YouTube videos that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts. Surely these videos, which feature actual violence against actual human balls are a far graver threat to the balls of the world than even Katherine Heigl.
The Register-Her Action Squad might start by tracking down the (admittedly quite ingenious) ball-hating dudes involved in this video.
And then move on to all the ball-hating bigots featured here:
And here are 50 more:
Better track down the ghost of Scott Joplin, too, for providing the music to the last one from beyond the grave.
@Elizabeth
And you’re saying Napoleon wasn’t from an affluent background?
I should also note that penis size has been increasing at the same rate as height over the years, which I somehow think is less related to nutrition than it is for women selectively choosing only the most cervix jackhammering of alpha dicks. I would love to see what the human race looks like in 100,000 years time. I’m picturing something like gorillas, with huge males twice as large as the females in their harems, only with dongs the size of trash cans.
So what about the Dinka genocidal females, or aeta women? Why are they so tall and small? Would this be an anthropological data point or not? Or maybe this is all a lot more complicated? Say it aint so!
I should also note that penis size has been increasing at the same rate as height over the years = possibly proportionality, if true? Also, citation for this?
Oh look, another delusional MRA with issues about penis size.
That’s partially because he was 5’2″ in Mesures usuelles, approximately 1.7 meters
Oops, second link should go here.
[citation needed]
Very few women want their cervix jackhammered. The more you know.
They don’t!? No wonder my road construction themed sexy times never caught on with the ladies.
/sarcasm
Please NEVER EVER HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN if you think it is pleasurable for women to have their cervix “jackhammered”
*crosses legs and whimpers*
Arks, you’re hilarious.
So … women haven’t been getting taller too? Your world is weird, Arks.
Also: OW.
— Wife is a stay-at-home mom, having given up on her PhD to put Husband through his. Husband is bipolar, leading to unpredictable outbreaks of frantic rage. Husband also gets fired frequently. Family is poor.
— After fourteen years of “trying to make it work,” Wife divorces Husband.
— Wife and Children obtain restraining orders against Husband because he is violent. Daughter #1, especially, is terrified of him.
— Wife goes back on the job market, which fails at first due to (1). Family is even poorer. Wife, now known as Mother, begs door to door for food sometimes, but Children only hear about this a decade later.
— Husband contests the child support and hires a lawyer. Wife, who has no money to buy food, let alone hire a lawyer, is forced to act as her own attorney. Did you know that much of New Mexico law is still in Spanish? Fortunately, Wife’s degree, back when she was getting one, is in linguistics and she is fluent in Spanish.
— After several horrible court fights, Wife is awarded full custody, despite Husband’s best efforts to have her declared incompetent.
— At some time during this period, Wife undergoes several micro-strokes from stress.
— Wife is also awarded child support, most of which Husband never pays.
Sharculese, this is missing the point by a mile but….
Where the fuck did the cannibals get toilet plungers?
“I’m not saying tall bitches are tall on purpose, but they usually wear monster heels, yet another FUCKING example of women using whatever they can to exert dominance on ARROGANTthey are ARROGANT. in my opinion they should be banned from heels for people or at least BITCHES over 5’4”
Do you feel better after that little ragey keyboard smash?
OK, again, tall women aren’t out to get you. Most of them probably aren’t even aware that you exist. Women wear heels mostly because it makes our legs look nice. Nothing to do with dominance, especially over you in particular, since most women don’t even know you.
Ark, if you’re not serious, we really have the same kind of humor, and bravo.
If you are serious, thanks for the laugh anyway.
The fact that people are getting taller is related not only to their food (both quantity and quality), but to the progress of medicine and the diminution of child work. Why is why, maybe among other reasons, kids are often taller than both their parents. (something that selection of the tallest wouldn’t explain)
Also, genocide, you should invest in a dictionary. And since you have internet, that’s free. Hint: it implies the actual killing of people, not having with more attractive people. If Hitler had said, “hey, Germans, aren’t tall blond blue-eyed people sexy? We should all try to mate with them”, that wouldn’t have been a genocide.
Also, heredity. It doesn’t work like you think. A girl doesn’t get just her mother’s genes, or a boy his father’s. Every baby get half from each.
Humans are glorified vehicles for genes. So when a woman refuses to sleep with a man, she is symbolically killing him. Her neglect is directly responsible for the death of his genetic legacy, no different from a mother who lets her children starve to death. When put in place on a cultural/global scale, it becomes genocide.
And yes, a man only passes on half his genes to his children, that’s why humans always arrange themselves into harems. Men realise early on that they’re stronger than women, and stronger than some other men, so they murder the other men and take all the women for themselves. Of course there’s laws against murder these days, but there are nonviolent and legal ways of asserting dominance that get used instead.
Fun fact: I actually tend to prefer smaller dicks. Easier to deepthroat, less likely to hit me in the cervix.
Second fun fact: Penis size is only loosely correlated with how good someone is in bed.
Third fun fact: Penis size is almost uncorrelated with a dude’s attractiveness (both to me and, afaik, in aggregate). Height is only mildly correlated.
Arks, that anthropology thing I’ve mentioned a few times in this thread? Do you know that it’s a real thing? That there are all sorts of human societies in the world doing all sorts of things, and you can read about them in papers and books? Anyway…
“Humans are glorified vehicles for genes. So when a woman refuses to sleep with a man, she is symbolically killing him. Her neglect is directly responsible for the death of his genetic legacy, no different from a mother who lets her children starve to death.”
Wow. That’s pretty awful! So what’s the solution?
— Wife is a stay-at-home mom, having given up on her PhD to put Husband through his. Husband is bipolar, leading to unpredictable outbreaks of frantic rage. Husband also gets fired frequently. Family is poor.
— After fourteen years of “trying to make it work,” Wife divorces Husband.
— Wife and Children obtain restraining orders against Husband because he is violent. Daughter #1, especially, is terrified of him.
— Wife goes back on the job market, which fails at first due to (1). Family is even poorer. Wife, now known as Mother, begs door to door for food sometimes, but Children only hear about this a decade later.
— Husband contests the child support and hires a lawyer. Wife, who has no money to buy food, let alone hire a lawyer, is forced to act as her own attorney. Did you know that much of New Mexico law is still in Spanish? Fortunately, Wife’s degree, back when she was getting one, is in linguistics and she is fluent in Spanish.
— After several horrible court fights, Wife is awarded full custody, despite Husband’s best efforts to have her declared incompetent.
— At some time during this period, Wife undergoes several micro-strokes from stress.
— Wife is also awarded child support, most of which Husband never pays.
You do realize, do you not, that 90% of marriages involving a bipolar spouse of EITHER Sex result in divorce??? Bipolar women are particularly notorious for their infidelity and initiating divorces because the commitment required by marriage is just “too much” for them to handle. Besides, the outcome turned out legally in favor of the woman(assuming this yarn has some basis in fact).
The thing about bipolar peeps is that they are exceedingly manipulative. I’m saying this because I have known quite a few of them in my lifetime. A lot women really don’t know what they want so they act on their emotional impulses. Bipolar guys are usually pretty good at playing to a woman’s emotions and that’s how women end up in situations like this. Better make sure that you acquire a useful skill in college before hitting the job market…..A degree really doesn’t entitle you to anything.
“The thing about bipolar peeps is that they are exceedingly manipulative. I’m saying this because I have known quite a few of them in my lifetime. A lot women really don’t know what they want so they act on their emotional impulses. Bipolar guys are usually pretty good at playing to a woman’s emotions and that’s how women end up in situations like this.”
So, my relationship with my own turned out to be bipolar, friend for much of my life, later husband, later abusive, stalking, etc spouse, was me not knowing what I want and acting on an emotional impulse. Ah. This whole “you need to just KNOW that you’re being manipulated and the guy is bad news” stuff basically demands psychic powers and a crystal ball.
Also, I was close friends with the guy starting at 15 years old, started dating him in senior year. That’s some long-range manipulation. Sure, I guess I “didn’t know what I really wanted” at eight-frickin-teen. Come on dude, quit laying down “this is why the social problem x occurs” based on “knowing lots of x people” – You’re gonna keep running into reality and people who have every reason to take issue with your sage pronouncements.
The effeminacy of white european aristocratic men in bygone centuries has always disgusted me. I think it was very wise of American culture to break with this tradition, as most of Europe eventually did so in the 19th century. But given the fact that faggoty european aristo’s where wearing high heels and tights, NO WONDER white men felt the need to strictly forbid white women to consort with men of color(especially black men) who at the time where far more masculine in their ways! Heels aren’t just for looking taller, they emphasize a woman’s legs(especially her calves)and make her booty stick out. And that’s why men think women look sexxxay wearing them.
Oh God. I’ve mass-murdered three billion people!
Holy shit, this is the most extreme application of the “women, submit yourselves for distribution to a random deserving beta!” demand I’ve ever heard.
@zhinxy “Wow. That’s pretty awful! So what’s the solution?”
The partial or complete removal of female sexual agency. There’s a reason why we had institutions of marriage, or fathers and brothers controlling their daughters choices for most of history and it’s because unrestrained female sexuality is detrimental to civilisation. When women are given the freedom to pursue their own desires they instinctively act in ways that undermine the structures of society. Their partner choice is both irresponsible and destructive and ruins things for everyone.
Removal of human rights is a touchy subject these days, but think about it. Would you give your 10 year old a bowie knife? Would you hand a drunk man the keys to your car? Then why would you give women control over their own lives?
Zhinxy- well, clearly sleeping with all those poor menz is right out, as then you’d be a slutty slut slut. Perhaps humans should choose to evolve parthenogenesis, the same way we choosed to have men evolve into tall, huge-penised mutants.
I totally shouldn’t need this, but still: sarcasm [blinking]
What if I (a woman) have sex with a guy, but I’m on birth control?
What if I have sex with a guy, but he wants to wear a condom because he doesn’t want to have children with me?
What if I have sex with a guy for years, and I’m on birth control because he doesn’t want kids, and then he has a baby with his next girlfriend?
What if I have sex with a guy who has two children and doesn’t want anymore?
What if I have sex with a guy, get pregnant, and he convinces me to get an abortion?
Have I killed all those men? Or that’s only if I hadn’t had sex with them at all.
What if I refuse to sleep with a man, but then he rapes me? That’s OK because then his genetic legacy didn’t die?
What if I gave a guy a blow job? Dear lord … I ate his children!!!
Really???? Humans always arrange themselves into harems? How so?
Also, if a man passes on half his genes to his children, how are women going to stay small while men grow to twice their size? Humans are only slightly sexually dimorphous.
Are you one of those MRAs who think that only 10% of all men ever get laid? Sounds like it. Hey, why don’t you use one of those nonviolent and legal ways of asserting dominance you’re going on about and see how it works for you? Is one of those nonviolent and legal ways of asserting dominance not hating women and treating women like they’re people? Because that’s kind of the common element among guys I tend to want to have sex with.