Most people who hate Katherine Heigl hate the actress because she seems like a bit of a diva, or because she keeps appearing in annoying rom-coms, including one with Ashton Kutcher that hurts my head when I even think about it. The fellas at Register-Her.com have another reason: she hates balls. As in, testicles.
Well, not really. What the Register-Her fellas are worked up about is a PSA she did for Funny or Die in which she claims to be in favor of neutering pets not because she loves animals but simply because she hates balls so much. At one point she declares, tongue firmly in cheek:
I can’t cut the nuts off human men … yet. So, I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, cause that’s legal.
The joke here, as any rational person can plainly see, isn’t that cutting off balls is inherently hilarious. The joke is that an actress with a reputation as a diva is basically doing her critics one better by portraying herself as a deranged, narcissistic, supremely creepy ball-hater. And she’s spoofing her own bad reputation for a genuinely good cause: reducing cat and dog overpopulation and therefore the number of unwanted animals that are put to death in our nation’s animal shelters.
Of course that’s not how the fellas at Register-Her.com see it. And so they’ve put Heigl on their faux “offender registry” as a “bigot.” Their explanation?
The actress’s willingness to endorse male targeted sexual mutilation betrays a bigoted indifference to sexual violence, and justifies her inclusion on this registry in the category of bigot.
Presumably the fellas at Register-Her will next go after the people who have posted the more than twenty thousand YouTube videos that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts. Surely these videos, which feature actual violence against actual human balls are a far graver threat to the balls of the world than even Katherine Heigl.
The Register-Her Action Squad might start by tracking down the (admittedly quite ingenious) ball-hating dudes involved in this video.
And then move on to all the ball-hating bigots featured here:
And here are 50 more:
Better track down the ghost of Scott Joplin, too, for providing the music to the last one from beyond the grave.
Short dominant women:
Margaret Thatcher
Golda Meir
Elizabeth I of England
Hillary Clinton
Eva Peron
Short dominant men:
Ghandi
David Ben-Gurion
Martin Luther King Jr.
James Madison
Joseph Stalin
So no, height has nothing to do with it.
MRAL, how do you feel about guys who wear high heels? A friend of mine is six feet tall and likes to wear heels when he goes out in drag. Is he spitting on men?
I almost never wear the things because they hurt like hell and I fall over. Also, they’re really bad for your feet. I’ve already seen two older relatives go through painful foot surgery to correct the damage of a lifetime wearing heels–not sexy stilettos, just the heeled business shoes women are supposed to wear to look “professional.”
Oh good lord no. No famous men in the media have ever made fun of women being beaten or raped without ending their career over it entirely. That’s why Family Guy went off the air and Seth McFarlane was never heard from again. And why Bill Maher was shunned and driven out of town, his house burned to the ground. And Tosh.0 was cancelled immediately. And, like, those are just the most frequent offenders. I could go on nearly forever.
I’ll agree that violence against men should be unacceptable. Violence against anyone should be unacceptable.
shaenon explains how owlslave thinks, wins ‘staring into the void’ trophy.
At times like this I like to quote Werner Herzog’s narration in the documentary Grizzly Man: “I looked into ze bear’s eyes und saw not’ing but boredom…und a vague desire for fooood.”
You have to say it in the most disaffected Teutonic accent you can muster.
shaenon – I didn’t think you could get cooler, but you just did with the Herzog. Just lettin’ you know.
I think all men between 5’8″ and 5’9″ should be forced to wear bathrobes, whether at home or in public. Hey, Mr. Al, are all women over 5’4″ bitches in your opinion, or are you only saying that bitches over 5’4″ shouldn’t be allowed to wear heels, while nonbitch women over 5’4″ can wear heels? It’s really important that we know this so we don’t inadvertently spit on anyone with our clothing choices.
So, a little personal tale, if I may. I’ve been 5’9″ since I was in fifth grade, and I’ve felt completely awkward about my height my entire life. When I wear heels (like, proper dress up high heels) its because I have to go to a fancy event or a business event at which flats would be inappropriate. It’s not because I want to be dominant (as if heels make a person dominant), and it’s not because I am arrogant. It’s because if I didn’t wear heels, my outfit would look weird. (Perhaps also at issue: I don’t own that many shoes, so I don’t have that many to choose from.)
Most of my shoes are flat flat flats, particularly because my boyfriend, as I’ve mentioned to you before, Mr. Al, is shorter than me. He doesn’t mind if I’m wearing heels, but, you know, the awkward thing follows me from my childhood. It’s hard to find flat flat flats, though. Most fashionable women’s shoes have a bit of a heel.
Hey, Mr. Al, just out of curiosity, the other day when you said that you thought Marky Mark’s post about the WTC was hilarious, what did you mean? I suspect that you thought it was hilarious for reasons other than those everyone else here did. This latest rant about arrogant bitches makes me think I’m probably right.
I wonder how the RH people will react when they discover “The Three Stooges”, with all it’s misandric glorification of violence against men’s eyeballs. The trio like to say “Wise guy, eh?”, which is certainly a way for society to show it’s disapproval of intelligent men. I saw an episode of Bug’s Bunny where Bugs turned the tables on Elmer Fudd and put Fudd into a pot of water with carrots in it. Surely that was a feminist cartoon about cannibalism against hunters. Don’t even get me started on Saved by the Bell or Full House.
/sarcasm
Do you know that the dress codes of many office jobs REQUIRE women to wear heels? That’s right! REQUIRE! My god, it’s like requiring arrogance!
High heels are a form of conscious genocide used by women to discount an even greater percentage of men. They are tuning devices for the hypergamy engine, creating an environment where not only does the male have to be taller than the female, he has to be taller than her when she wears heels as well.
When a woman wears 4 inch heels, what she’s really doing is raising the criteria to qualify as a human being (in her eyes) by 4 inches. “You must be this tall to enter” her slobbering crotch maw says. Those who failed to be born in the top genetic percentile get to enjoy a life of frustration, desperation and loneliness, while those who got lucky get to enjoy limitless career opportunities, social respect, athletic success and free use of women. And then women have the gall to claim they’re the ones with ‘unfair expectations.’
I think it’s telling that so many people think Napoleon was short, when he was actually the average height for his time. Why does it surprise people that 5’7 was considered average only a few centuries ago? Because the average height has been increasing rapidly over the past few hundred years. More rapidly than normal evolution can account for. The only way this could happen is if women had been ascribing to a calculated program of heightist eugenics over the generations. But that couldn’t be true, could it?
Um, zhinxy, that’s why women should just stay home and do needlepoint and play the pianoforte for their husband’s gentleman guests, no doy,
/meller
So, when it was common for men to wear heels, what did that mean?
@kendra
i would call saved by the bell misanthropic before anything else.
also, when i was little, for some reason i never understood we had a videotape of old, incredibly racist bugs bunny cartoons, including one where bugs ends up on a jungle island with a headhunting cannibal. im assuming my parents just never bothered to watch it, because its not the sort of thing they would be okay with, and its not in their house anymore, but looking back its incredibly weird that i watched that repeatedly as a child.
High heels are a form of conscious genocide used by women to discount an even greater percentage of men. They are tuning devices for the hypergamy engine, creating an environment where not only does the male have to be taller than the female, he has to be taller than her when she wears heels as well.
have we discussed whether arks is a poe?
That’s some pretty genius misogyny right there.
also, Arks, you said CONSCIOUS genocide. That means you aren’t just doing that bizarre “women don’t know what they want, they are hypergamous but don’t know it, so don’t trust anything they say on the matter, I’m right and nyahnyah” You’re saying that when I wear heels, which is sometimes, depending on skirt length and occasion – I love ballet flats and topsiders, normally – I am CONSCIOUSLY telling men that their short genes are not good enough for me. And it doesn’t matter when I say that I’ve never minded too much about height, had plenty of crushes on guys shorter than me, and taller than me. None of this matters, and this time it isn’t just SELF delusion on my part? I am CONSCIOUSLY doing this?
Oh no, things are much worse than I could have imagined. Chevy Chase is a misandrist even at Christmas!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqO58ATjyoc&w=560&h=315%5D
I’ve heard tell that better nutrition might have something to do with it.
Oh, or it could be that!
/sarcasm
I think it meant that men were rightly perceived as the lords and heads of their households and also the entire world. Especially if they were white. (Although if you suggested that men today could wear heels, you’d be forcing our fine upstanding men to be all girly, which, what are you, some kind of ball-breaking harpy?)
/NWOslave
Not quite. Due to the problems caused by malnutrition, the average height for a lower on the socioeconomic scale man was much shorter then it is now (about four inches shorter.) However a child of moderate to affluent wealth did not have the same problems as a poor person would in terms of food which means the person would be taller then the total average (which is why Henry VIII was 6’3″ per his suit of armor.)
source
another one
also, Arks, you said CONSCIOUS genocide. That means you aren’t just doing that bizarre “women don’t know what they want, they are hypergamous but don’t know it, so don’t trust anything they say on the matter, I’m right and nyahnyah”
i was gonna go all law geek and explain how even if everything arks said were true, he still doesnt understand what genocide is, but then i got a little bit of perspective, so instead i’m gonna say that i just watched the so-called ‘very best nut shots compilation’ and i dont believe that all of those are nut shots. this is intolerable.
@Sharculese, I never saw that episode of Bugs Bunny. I didn’t even notice the racism and sexism in the cartoons when I was a child. As an adult now, I’ve noticed a lot more watching the shows again.
I saw an episode of Bug’s Bunny where Bugs turned the tables on Elmer Fudd and put Fudd into a pot of water with carrots in it.
Remember all those episodes where Bugs Bunny dresses in drag and seduces Elmer? OPPRESSION OF STRAIGHT WHITE NON-RABBIT MEN.
Does this mean, say Masai and/or Dinka women are the most genocidal on earth, or that Aka and/or Aeta women are the least hypergamous? Tallest and Shortest groups, yet anthropologists are SILENT! Conspiracy! CONSPIRACY!!!
(Aeta women also do a large part of the hunting in their tribes, so it’s possible they just tamed the small males. Further research needed, but given the state of feminized anthropology)
That they do not find a joke funny doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a joke.
It is unfortunate that people are way too sensitive about jokes being told today.
I do not believe that Katherine Heigl wishes to chop off my balls anymore than I think a guy really wants to abuse women when he tells the “what do you tell a woman with two black eyes” joke using a redneck character voice.
@kendra
the episodes on that tape had all been pulled from circulation. thanks to the magic of youtube i actually found the two that have always stuck in my memory.
here’s the cannibal one:
and in this one bugs ends up in the deep south and antagonizes a slow-witted caricature of a black hunter: