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creepy evil women hypocrisy I'm totally being sarcastic kitties MRA oppressed men paul elam violence against men/women

Katherine Heigl: Ballbusting bigot?

That's not funny?

Most people who hate Katherine Heigl hate the actress because she seems like a bit of a diva, or because she keeps appearing in annoying rom-coms, including one with Ashton Kutcher that hurts my head when I even think about it. The fellas at Register-Her.com have another reason: she hates balls.  As in, testicles.

Well, not really. What the Register-Her fellas are worked up about is a PSA she did for Funny or Die in which she claims to be in favor of neutering pets not because she loves animals but simply because she hates balls so much. At one point she declares, tongue firmly in cheek:

I can’t cut the nuts off human men … yet. So, I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, cause that’s legal.

The joke here, as any rational person can plainly see, isn’t that cutting off balls is inherently hilarious. The joke is that an actress with a reputation as a diva is basically doing her critics one better by portraying herself as a deranged, narcissistic, supremely creepy ball-hater.  And she’s spoofing her own bad reputation for a genuinely good cause: reducing cat and dog overpopulation and therefore the number of unwanted animals that are put to death in our nation’s animal shelters.

Of course that’s not how the fellas at Register-Her.com see it. And so they’ve put Heigl on their faux “offender registry” as a “bigot.” Their explanation?

The actress’s willingness to endorse male targeted sexual mutilation betrays a bigoted indifference to sexual violence, and justifies her inclusion on this registry in the category of bigot.

Presumably the fellas at Register-Her will next go after the people who have posted the more than twenty thousand YouTube videos that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts. Surely these videos, which feature actual violence against actual human balls are a far graver threat to the balls of the world than even Katherine Heigl.

The Register-Her Action Squad might start by tracking down the (admittedly quite ingenious) ball-hating dudes involved in this video.

And then move on to all the ball-hating bigots featured here:

And here are 50 more:

Better track down the ghost of Scott Joplin, too, for providing the music to the last one from beyond the grave.

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Fatman
Fatman
9 years ago

Arks, you said that this will begin in five to ten years. Short of introducing G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate into the air processors, how do you intend to get us to agree to the barbarism you suggest?

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

So when a woman refuses to sleep with a man, she is symbolically killing him.

Oh God. I’ve mass-murdered three billion people!

Holly,

I am on birth control

RIGHT NOW.

I’m even killing the guys I do sleep with! Dear god, the horror!!

In other news, I don’t know any human being over the age of 25 or so who thinks having one’s cervix jackhammered is something women want. Even if you’ve never hit a cervix yourself or had your own hit, you’d think the knowledge would be shared through cultural osmosis.

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

Ooo, scary. I’m sure many oppressed groups were told the exact same thing

Generally, dude, you’re oppressed because women don’t want to have sex with you! That’s totally comparable to actual oppression, sure. You know

Fact is, the manosphere is growing rapidly.

So is the pile of clothes near my bed. It doubled in two days! if it continues at this, it will recover the world in… about 66 days! (not counting the depth of oceans and since it’s currently 20×30 cm²)

More and more men are realising that they’re being cheated

Why just men? Aren’t men also genociding me when they don’t have sex with me? Do you think men never say “no”?

I give it 5-10 years tops before Occupy Stupid Whore Vaginas becomes a reality.

I love it when crazy conspiracy are that precise. How did you do the math?

Because we are the 80%, and taking things lying down is a woman’s job.

And a double wtf. You can’t be more than the 50%, and that’s assuming you enroll all men. the second part, I just don’t get.Is it a lady gene too?

Flib
Flib
9 years ago

Arks, if you are an example of the growing manosphere, I fear for the future of logic and science. You do not know how evolution works. But really, with the direction the MRM is going, historically, it can only be compared to previous hate groups. If you were really an oppressed group, you’d focus on making allies. You aren’t doing that. Maybe you should learn from how other (actually) discriminated groups gained power and focus on actual issues men face that even Feminists can, and often do, get behind. Not the ignorant screed you have here about who is fucking who.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Hey, wait a second… I’ve never had a kid. My boyfriend is unwilling to do me without a condom. (I don’t want him to, but that’s irrelevant right now.)

I AM BEING GENOCIDED TO DEATH.

Flib
Flib
9 years ago

Note, I do not actually fear for the future of logic and science from the MRM. They are far removed from anything approaching scientific discourse (as much as Toysoldier likes to pretend). There are far worse out there causing issues.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
9 years ago

Can we ban Ark? He’s seriously frightening me in ways even NWO hasn’t managed to achieve.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Kyrie – The 80% thing comes from the proven scientific fact that 20% of men sleep with all of the women, while 80% of men cry themselves to sleep every night.

There are rumors of a human social structure called a “couple,” in which one man sleeps with one woman, but surely this can’t be, because we know that five-somes around an Alpha male are the usual form of sex and romance, right? Certainly all of my friends and coworkers and classmates and neighbors are in five-somes, the same kind depicted and glamorized in all media.

Rumors of single women, like rumors of something called a “gay person,” are purely spurious and do not even deserve mention.

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

Oh, right. So that make them the 40%, and us the 60%, including presumably the army and the police (because they usually don’t like violent and sudden take over). That’s not as really as impressive or as catchy as “we are the 99%”

Sharculese
9 years ago

Can we ban Ark? He’s seriously frightening me in ways even NWO hasn’t managed to achieve.

arks is specifically who this site is designed to make fun of. david quotes people who are just as awful in his articles. as long as he’s not ruining every thread he posts in or advocating violence against specific posters he’s not likely to get banned.

zhinxy
9 years ago

“The partial or complete removal of female sexual agency. There’s a reason why we had institutions of marriage, or fathers and brothers controlling their daughters choices for most of history and it’s because unrestrained female sexuality is detrimental to civilisation. When women are given the freedom to pursue their own desires they instinctively act in ways that undermine the structures of society. Their partner choice is both irresponsible and destructive and ruins things for everyone. -”

Arranged marriage societies were HYPERGAMY HEAVEN – Everybody tried to marry their daughter up as far as they could. And plenty of them had polygyny. So… I don’t think that’s the solution. No society was about making sure that women married a nice beta instead of the top guy they could find.So, how is this a solution? Mormon fundamentalists compounds are all about arranging marriage. Look up lost boys, and see the deals fathers make. You want something working at exact cross purposes to what you supposedly want.

Also, anthropology. Societies have practiced many marriage forms. Still do. Promise.

zhinxy
9 years ago

Aren’t all the men fathers and brothers DON’T let their daughters and sisters sleep with being genocided by other men?

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Hey Arks, let’s play “Why Aren’t You Getting Any?” The game is played by looking at the following list, and guessing which statements are false and which are true. Here we go!

Why you aren’t getting any:

1) Women wear high heels
2) You don’t jackhammer cervixes nearly enough
3) Women are destroying society in a deliberate attempt to keep you sexually frustrated
4) You refer to some parts of the female anatomy as “slobbering crotch maws”
5) You openly advocate institutionalized rape

Good luck to our fine contestant, and to all of the audience members playing at home!

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Viscaria, questions like that usually provoke a very sad personal story about how he tried not advocating mass rape, he tried it for a really long time, but nobody slept with him so mass rape it is.

Medium Dave
Medium Dave
9 years ago

It turns out that “genocide heels are a real thing, oddly enough. 🙂

zhinxy
9 years ago

.Arks – “When women are given the freedom to pursue their own desires they instinctively act in ways that undermine the structures of society. Their partner choice is both irresponsible and destructive and ruins things for everyone. ”

The Orango Islander women, until recent contact with Protestant missionaries, believed only women should pursue men and propose marriage. This was a marriage institution, and they believed strongly in monogamy, but it was believed that it was unseemly for men to pursue women, instead of the other way around. In fact, REFUSING a woman’s marriage proposal is often considered bad form. Still is in the minds of the older folks.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orango

http://www.antropologi.info/blog/anthropology/2007/on_african_island_only_women_are_allowed

Where were the harems? where was the destruction of everything? This is the most “woman choice centered” society, arguably, that anthropologists have ever described? (And I would argue it’s a raw deal/oppressive to men IN THE MATE CHOICE AND PURSUIT AREA)

Or are you gonna go for the same weird “they didn’t invent the telephone so blah blah blha blah” that some mra’s do to dismiss other cultures, who keep existing at you?

Also, the Dinka that I mentioned, tallest people on earth, often practiced arranged marriage by the wife’s family. and often the highest ranking males had large harems, even hundreds of wives – So, height and harems don’t seem to be the result of women being let free to go wild.

http://www.everyculture.com/Africa-Middle-East/Dinka-Marriage-and-Family.html

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Holly, you’re so totally right.

Actually that makes me realize that the way I wrote that out is somewhat problematic as it seems to suggest that there aren’t any decent, non-rape-advocating straight and bi dudes who have trouble finding interested women. I guess what I’m trying to say is: those men exist, and Arks, you are not them.

shaenon
9 years ago

Why just men? Aren’t men also genociding me when they don’t have sex with me?

That’s a good point. Since I got married, I have been murdered by ALL BUT ONE PERSON ON EARTH. They’re not kidding when they say marriage is rough.

shaenon
9 years ago

Viscaria, questions like that usually provoke a very sad personal story about how he tried not advocating mass rape, he tried it for a really long time, but nobody slept with him so mass rape it is.

I always love the “how I learned to stop worrying and love being a gigantic douchebag” testimonials. It was SO HARD not going around screaming “bitch” and threatening to rape people! So hard it would make you cry! And sometimes you could go through all the painful, painful effort of not spitting directly in a strange woman’s face, and she still wouldn’t spontaneously yank your pants down and beg you to jackhammer her cervix! So what was even the point?

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

Btw, I hope you realize that right now, I’m genociding your husband, with the help of 3.5 billions of women!!! (evil laugh)

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
9 years ago

“arks is specifically who this site is designed to make fun of. david quotes people who are just as awful in his articles. as long as he’s not ruining every thread he posts in or advocating violence against specific posters he’s not likely to get banned.”

Yeah, you’re right. I’m just letting my anger get the better of me. It’s better to laugh at people like him.

zhinxy
9 years ago

“I always love the “how I learned to stop worrying and love being a gigantic douchebag” testimonials. It was SO HARD not going around screaming “bitch” and threatening to rape people! So hard it would make you cry! And sometimes you could go through all the painful, painful effort of not spitting directly in a strange woman’s face, and she still wouldn’t spontaneously yank your pants down and beg you to jackhammer her cervix! So what was even the point?”

And then when they talk about how they found a community that could help them, and feminists had done nothing! NOTHING! it’s just gravy and sprinkles!

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

But to be fair, I’m pretty sure he started to genocide us first.

ozymandias42
9 years ago

Guuuuuuuuys I’m being genocided by Johnny Depp.

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

More disturbing, all of us owner of uterus are being genocided by Arks. Is it weird I’m not sad being metaphorically dead?

Sharculese
9 years ago

if it makes you feel any better, kyrie, he’s going to stop genociding you in about 5-10 years.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

I’m loving the implications of this not-breeding=death thing. I wonder if having two kids means you’re twice as alive as someone with one?

I guess if someone is infertile that’s an accidental death?

And if you have just one kid and they don’t breed then that’s, um, death once removed?

I’m having trouble reconciling this with the “SPERM-STEALERS!!!!” MRA paranoia, though. Sperm-stealing is the gift of life!

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

I’m not holding my breath for that – and not just because I would be dead if I hold my breath 5 five years -.

http://xkcd.com/678/

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

And it doesn’t matter if the father cant see his kids, because all that matter is that they exists, RIGHT? Thinking of it, why don’t you just give your damn sperm? That would solve the problem, if it’s just about the genes.

Sharculese
9 years ago

wouldnt work. women have figured out how to genocide you there, too:

http://gizmodo.com/5841329/worlds-largest-sperm-bank-says-they-dont-want-your-ginger-sperm

zhinxy
9 years ago

Thinking of it, why don’t you just give your damn sperm? That would solve the problem, if it’s just about the genes. –

Women only want alpha sperm!! It’s, um, proved! The sperm clinics turn short men away! With cattle prods!

…Also, another thing about MRA – land. The biggest users of donor sperm are married couples where the man is infertile. So he KNOWINGLY chooses to raise “another man’s child,” that is also his wifes! – What sort of genetic failure/cuckoldry BE THIS?! Also, men are infertile, and I haven’t ever seen a “indicates fertility” thing behind the women mate choice logic. Supposedly every single thing we do and every curve we have indicates our fertility or lack thereof, but an alpha is defined by dollars, or muscles, or any other thing that is.. Really not anything to do with his sperm count? It’s all so confusing!

zhinxy
9 years ago

Ah, adding onto that and what sharculese said – See, this is largely couples wanting the baby to look something like daddy, not women hypergamously choosing …Or Are redheads just betas? Or…

chibigodzilla
chibigodzilla
9 years ago

wouldnt work. women have figured out how to genocide you there, too:

Well, it wouldn’t be a very successful international conspiracy if they didn’t plan ahead, now would it?

Joanna
9 years ago

Stop the genocide of gingers I say!

Sharculese
9 years ago

gingercide

darksidecat
darksidecat
9 years ago

Refusing to fuck you/be raped by you is neither murder nor genocide nor coercive sterilization.

I do want to point out to someone who suggested earlier that a pro-breeding social policy cannot be genocide and only a killing on is is wrong. I suggest looking into what was done to some Australian aboriginees and native american groups. Trying to force outbreeding (rather than just allowing it) can be used as an instrument of genocide to try and eliminate a people and its culture, intentionally.

This, of course, does not give anyone the right to force any other person to have babies with them instead of someone else…

Monsieur sans Nom
Monsieur sans Nom
9 years ago

The biggest users of donor sperm are married couples where the man is infertile. So he KNOWINGLY chooses to raise “another man’s child,” that is also his wifes! – What sort of genetic failure/cuckoldry BE THIS?!

EVIDENCE, plz?

If I were married + infertile I would NEVER go along with such a thing and if we wanted a kid that badly, we’d adopt one.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

“When women are given the freedom to pursue their own desires they instinctively act in ways that undermine the structures of society. Their partner choice is both irresponsible and destructive and ruins things for everyone. ”

Here’s the funny thing. My being able to make my own partner choices doesn’t ruin things for everyone. It certainly doesn’t ruin things for me, since I’m very happy being able to choose who I fuck. It doesn’t ruin things for people who don’t want to sleep with me anyway, like gay men or straight women. It doesn’t ruin things for the men or women who I do fuck, since they’re getting laid.

Basically the only people it ruins things for are men like you who can’t get laid because you hate women too much. I’m OK with ruining things for you. In fact, one might consider that a benefit rather than just a feature.

Joanna
9 years ago

” we’d adopt one”

Ah the old “If I can’t expand my genes, neither can she!” thing.

Sharculese
9 years ago

Ah the old “If I can’t expand my genes, neither can she!” thing.

also, the ‘you can’t be right about people in general because i don’t feel that way’ thing

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

Calm down, Oh Nameless One, nobody is trying to force you into using a sperm bank. It’s not like the wives of infertile husbands just, like, pop down to the sperm bank on a whim without consulting their partners first and then burst into the room saying “Darling, you will never believe what I picked up for us today.”

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

>>I wonder if having two kids means you’re twice as alive as someone with one?

No. 50% of your genes times two. That means you’re twice as alive as someone with none (200% = 2x 100%). You’re only 1.33 times as alive as someone with one.

It’s MATH so you know it’s true.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

And you’re saying Napoleon wasn’t from an affluent background?

He was, that is why his height was considered short, for his socioeconomic background.

I should also note that penis size has been increasing at the same rate as height over the years, which I somehow think is less related to nutrition than it is for women selectively choosing only the most cervix jackhammering of alpha dicks. I would love to see what the human race looks like in 100,000 years time. I’m picturing something like gorillas, with huge males twice as large as the females in their harems, only with dongs the size of trash cans.

Uh. No. In fact there are plenty of alpha men (which basically means that they get laid a lot) who are quite short. And have short penises or not more then six to seven at the most because the vast, and I do mean vast, majority of women do not like men who are very long, it actually hurts.

zhinxy
9 years ago

Mister no name of frenchness – “EVIDENCE, plz?

If I were married + infertile I would NEVER go along with such a thing and if we wanted a kid that badly, we’d adopt one.”

Well, I know it’s WILD, but a lot of these men love their wives very much and want to have a baby with her, and even if it can’t be theirs genetically, they still get the experience of pregnancy and childbirth to share with their partner, and at the end of it a child who reminds them of their beloved wife. They can also select for donor characteristics so that the child may look “more like daddy”

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/infertility/donorinsemination.html

One in eight infertile couples. That’s a lotta couples. Yes, single women and lesbian couples also use donor sperm, but the primary people seeking the technology are hetero couples, just because, well, there’s lots more of them.

http://www.crgh.co.uk/dynamicdata/sperm-donor-bank.php
http://www.123donate.com/spermdonorfaqs.html
http://books.google.com/books?id=2gh7-hUFznQC&pg=PA37&lpg=PA37&dq=infertile+couples+donor+sperm+most&source=vrt&ots=FV4K0CRJwR&sig=a5zYLQ_IFvdgpFxg5q26qjqidl4&hl=en&ei=-qfeTu_UBKT50gGArsHKBw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=11&ved=0CHQQ6AEwCg#v=onepage&q=infertile%20couples%20donor%20sperm%20most&f=false

Aww, crap, pretty much any donor clinic site on earth is gonna be geared primarily towards couples, some being more single/lesbian friendly than others. I can keep linking?

Tatjna
Tatjna
9 years ago

It always amazes me how many of these men who claim to know all there is to know about women, to the point where they think they can tell us how we are contrary to our own experience, completely fail to comprehend stuff like “Vaginas have an end and deep sex can be painful.”

Makes me think they’ve never actually had sex with an actual woman and learned everything they know from watching porn. But even then, if you thought about it for more than half a second you’d realise that getting prodded in the ovary is the same as getting kicked in the nuts.

Slamming sex is only fun with men whose penis can do it without hurting the woman – ie not a gigantic one. Have we blown your tiny mind yet?

Joanna
9 years ago

“I do mean vast, majority of women do not like men who are very long, it actually hurts.”

I second that >.>

chibigodzilla
chibigodzilla
9 years ago

It always amazes me how many of these men who claim to know all there is to know about women, to the point where they think they can tell us how we are contrary to our own experience, completely fail to comprehend stuff like “Vaginas have an end and deep sex can be painful.”

Makes me think they’ve never actually had sex with an actual woman and learned everything they know from watching porn. But even then, if you thought about it for more than half a second you’d realise that getting prodded in the ovary is the same as getting kicked in the nuts.

Slamming sex is only fun with men whose penis can do it without hurting the woman – ie not a gigantic one. Have we blown your tiny mind yet?

Not to mention that if the penis is that long, it also tends to hurt the penis.

ozymandias42
9 years ago

Thirded.

Bee
Bee
9 years ago

And, I’m just gonna stick this here, for guys who haven’t had sex with women but might want to and are starting to feel somewhat insecure about their incredibly large penises: Different people are built differently and like different things. What feels good to one woman might feel painful to another, and vice versa. And there are lots of things that two people can do together that don’t involve piv sex but still feel nice, and lots of different ways to have sex and so forth.

The greater point about Arks being completely wrong that every woman in the world prefers a giant penis jackhammering her cervix is totally well-taken, though.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

I had a boyfriend with an enormo-dick and we had satisfying PIV sex–once he learned to hold back and not thrust all the way.

Anyway, I didn’t find how big his dick was until after I’d agreed to have sex with him! So I’m pretty sure I didn’t hypergamously select him for that.