Most people who hate Katherine Heigl hate the actress because she seems like a bit of a diva, or because she keeps appearing in annoying rom-coms, including one with Ashton Kutcher that hurts my head when I even think about it. The fellas at Register-Her.com have another reason: she hates balls. As in, testicles.
Well, not really. What the Register-Her fellas are worked up about is a PSA she did for Funny or Die in which she claims to be in favor of neutering pets not because she loves animals but simply because she hates balls so much. At one point she declares, tongue firmly in cheek:
I can’t cut the nuts off human men … yet. So, I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, cause that’s legal.
The joke here, as any rational person can plainly see, isn’t that cutting off balls is inherently hilarious. The joke is that an actress with a reputation as a diva is basically doing her critics one better by portraying herself as a deranged, narcissistic, supremely creepy ball-hater. And she’s spoofing her own bad reputation for a genuinely good cause: reducing cat and dog overpopulation and therefore the number of unwanted animals that are put to death in our nation’s animal shelters.
Of course that’s not how the fellas at Register-Her.com see it. And so they’ve put Heigl on their faux “offender registry” as a “bigot.” Their explanation?
The actress’s willingness to endorse male targeted sexual mutilation betrays a bigoted indifference to sexual violence, and justifies her inclusion on this registry in the category of bigot.
Presumably the fellas at Register-Her will next go after the people who have posted the more than twenty thousand YouTube videos that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts. Surely these videos, which feature actual violence against actual human balls are a far graver threat to the balls of the world than even Katherine Heigl.
The Register-Her Action Squad might start by tracking down the (admittedly quite ingenious) ball-hating dudes involved in this video.
And then move on to all the ball-hating bigots featured here:
And here are 50 more:
Better track down the ghost of Scott Joplin, too, for providing the music to the last one from beyond the grave.
“Only FAAB women (female assigned at birth) are allowed to comment on this blog. Why? Because it’s FAABulous!”
What the hell, Boadie?
“Men’s Rights Activist Lieutenant | December 5, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Katherine Heigl is nothing but a snivelling mangina.”
Dude, WTF are you talking about???
Register-her/AVfM are basically, even amongst MRAs, becoming an increasing Taleban like laughing stock. They’re quite obviously ‘registering’ famous women to precipitate a lawsuit and get some publicity for their miserable little site.
I’m on it just now having a look. It’s like watching a mental breakdown taking place.
None of these guys read “A Modest Proposal” in high school, obviously.
“Dude, WTF are you talking about???”
It was just a mistake, now he’s back on the usual:
MRAL, size has nothing to do with dominance. And if it did, why would women be bitches for being dominant? Why does it hurt you that there are women taller than you? You really need to take a deep breath an d think about why you’re getting mad at the idea that tall women wear heels.
Dwight: “Inverted penis.”
Meredith: “Could you mean vagina? Because if you do, I want that covered.”
Dwight: “I thought your vagina was removed during your hysterectomy.”
Meredith: “A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.”
I think it’s quite official. NWO is Dwight from The Office.
Women wear heels because the heeled female foot is highly sexualized in our culture and people of both genders feel enormous pressure to conform to the cultural standards of their gender in order to fit in. It’s really no more mysterious than that. MRAL’s problem is that he takes his anger towards this cultural pressure (men do feel pressure to be tall), and projects an irrational rage out to the entire female gender. You have serious anger issues and need a therapist.
5’8″ here, but I always wear comfortable flats, because fuck our cultural standards.
” I’ve notcied tall bitches love to wear heels so they can spit from greater distances.”
Is that what they’re for??? Fuck me! I just thought they made my calves look shapely and made me look daintier in a dress. I thought you guys liked dainty ladies? I’ll remember to spit next time, just like Ms. Heigl does! =D
Heels are not “dominant.” I actually find them extremely submissive because they hobble your walking in order to present your legs in a more sexualized shape.
I’m a bit biased here because I can’t walk in heels at all and hate them deeply. But hey, as I’m a 5’1″ person who doesn’t wear heels, MRAL ought to love me, because I am extremely humble and gracious in letting even average-size men tower above me!
@Raymond
I just hate hypocrisy is all. Most of those demands are usually found on MRA or PUA sites, then those same men complain about women who unfairly demand things from THEM. It’s complete bullshit. I’m not saying there aren’t women who don’t demand unreasonable things from men, there are and I think that’s wrong too. But it gets annoying when MRAs and chauvinists blame women for everything, as well as for things they themselves do.
Anyway, thanks for standing up against misogyny and sexism in general. I used to watch Roswell too 🙂
Okay…is MRAL really being serious or just satirizing himself now? how was he so decent a week or two ago but now is back to his old douchey self?
Anwyay, I’m relatively tall therefore don’t wear heels often. They’re also not to most comfortable of shoes. The last guy I dated I told him I wouldn’t wear heels if it made him feel uncomfortable (I know! what a man-hating feminazi I am!), but he didn’t care. Anyway, if MRAL is being genuine, maybe I’ll just start wearing them more to piss him off XP
Seriously though MRAL, Women aren’t wearing heels to be dominant and spit at you. Also some heels just look nice.
Quoted for truth.
Also, you forgot “Don’t wear high heels if you’re over 5’4. That means you’re an arrogant BITCH who likes spitting on short men like some sort of deranged llama”.
I’m 5’8 and I sometimes wear heels, and I have female friends who are tall (5’9-6’0). I’ve noticed that quite a few men tend to be drawn to taller women. How can this be? Presumably they’re all manginas with a spit fetish.
My coworker is 5’5” and happily engaged to.a woman who is several inches taller than he is. He’s hardly an Alpha either. Works in a female dominated field and is very quiet and sweet. They are a lovely couple!
Already feeling self-conscious towering over my 5’5″ girlfriend at 5’9″ (as well as all her friends), if I were to wear heels I’d be pushing 6′ or more, which is why I don’t. (And I wore flats even when dating a 6′ 3″ guy, rather than trying to close the gap.) Tall women lording it over men to spit on them? LOL. Get real.
Xanthe: I have a friend who’s 6’1 without shoes, and I actually think it looks awesome when she wears heels (which is rare). She doesn’t spit on people, though. She’s rather sweet and shy (her boyfriend, equally sweet and shy, is slightly shorter than her).
MRAs will bitch and complain, of course. I just hope they remember to spay/neuter their pets. Leave it to them to, you know, miss the point of the PSA.
Soapbox moment: visit your local shelters to adopt your next best friend! Shelter animals need a second chance.
I wear high heels every so often. I generally don’t wear them, because of how difficult it can be to walk. If I’m wearing heels, I prefer the little 2-inch kitten heels. But dominance? Really? When I wear heels, it is because I want to and I think I look good. Selfish as it is (sarcasm), I like looking good. Wanting/needing to dominate other people requires actually giving a damn about the majority of strangers out there.
That’s what confuses me so much about MRAs: why should I spend extra time and effort to give a flying fig about millions of strangers, particularly when I’ve got my own things going on? There’s a strange narcissism involved in this whole “women want to oppress/annoy/terrorize me.” It means that all the women of the world are so interested in a single, angry individual such that they go out of their way to make his life terrible.
Uncomfortable truth: the world doesn’t give a damn about you. Or me. The world is a huge place with billions of other people. If I (or any other individual) suddenly disappears/dies, only a relatively tiny circle of people will notice or care. The rest of the world will go on as it always has.
Now, I’m not as much of a cynic or misanthrope as this makes me sound. It’s just a pragmatic acknowledgement of reality. I mean something to family and friends. To actually convince myself that the world has something personal against me is just a sign of self-aggrandizement.
So, NO. I don’t wear heels to dominate those around me. I don’t have the time to personally insult millions of unknown men out there.
People who treat it as a paradox are usually reacting to their own particular relationship and blaming it on feminism. I’m one of those people. “Do more domestic work. Work harder outside the home” is something I hear (with “reasonable” delays between the two) from my wife all the time, but I manage to not blame her personality flaws on her 2nd X chromosome.
I share a lot of people’s sympathy for your posts, as you do occasionally show glimmers of empathy and humanity and indeed self-awareness – but then you come out with ludicrous crap like this. Why?
I know plenty of tall women who aren’t the least bit arrogant. Indeed, in quite a few cases I’d suggest that they’re not arrogant at least partly because they’re self-conscious about being tall.
And as someone who’s 6’3″ myself, I can completely identify with that – I know that you think that the taller you are, the more ‘alpha’ you are, but there are times when you really don’t want to appear to be the physically dominant person in a room, but your height leaves you with little choice. And this is especially true if you shot up early, as I did – being six foot plus at twelve is no picnic.
Wetherby:
I can’t relate directly, but my best friend, now 6’7″, was well on his way to that height when we were twelve. He was taller than most of the teachers. It was quite a struggle for him, and still is in some ways today. I feel for you both :).
By grade 12 he’d reached his current height, and he was dating a girl who was 5’1″ at the absolute outside. She wore monster heels throughout their relationship in order to try to bridge the gap.
Hey MRAL, can I throw some heels beneath my 5’7″ of height when I’m hanging with my besty? I would need stilts to spit on the man.
That was supposed to be a supportive smiley face, but it came out as mocking smiley face. Not what I meant at all!
Wow, I can’t believe they’ve “registered” Katherine Heigl. I would say that R-H.com has lost all credibility, but that would imply that they ever had any credibility in the first place. Now I’ll wait for them to watch the ending credits of all the Jackass movies and register all the female cast and crew members as anti-testicle bigots. What about everyone involved with “America’s Funniest Home Videos” and “It only hurts when I Laugh”?
I also want to know why they are trying so hard to link nut shot jokes with feminism. I wasn’t aware that many feminists were big fans of Johnny Knoxville’s antics and similar sophomoric humor. I thought teenagers were the target demographic for that kind of stuff.
I just told my friend that I was sharing his story here and he told me he thinks he might have concussed himself by sprinting full-speed into a door frame the other day. It’s not easy bejng green.
There’s something you and I don’t have to worry about, huh MRAL?
Yes, MRAL, I TOTALLY grew to six feet tall for the SOLE PURPOSE of pissing you off. I don’t wear heels, though, the fuckleg won’t allow it.
Does it really never occur to you that height (natural height) isn’t really something that can be manipulated? I can’t change the fact that I’m tall any more than I can change the fact that I’m built like a linebacker. Or that my nephew lost all the lovely red hair he had at birth. Or that I lost all the red hair I had at birth.
Two of my (female) friends are around 6’0″ (one single, one married to a slightly shorter guy). Neither has ever spit on a dude, at least not to my knowledge, and neither wears heels often, because they’re bloody uncomfortable. (Same reason i almost never wear them. What’s the point of being uncomfortable and still well below average height?)
Anyway, MRAL, look on the bright side – you don’t have to use a stepladder in your own kitchen like I do. They don’t make kitchen cabinets with the 5’1″-ish in mind.
I’m 5’7″ and I wear floaty dresses with combat boots. Clearly I am more feminine than those heel-wearing ballbreakers!
These are the reasons I can’t be an MRA. I value humor much more than gender politics. I will laugh at pretty much anything I think is funny. So a bunch of dudes getting kicked in the nuts is just as funny as george carlin making an eskimo rapist joke.
Also, Heigl on register-her.com?! Really? Stupidity at its finest.