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creepy evil women hypocrisy I'm totally being sarcastic kitties MRA oppressed men paul elam violence against men/women

Katherine Heigl: Ballbusting bigot?

That's not funny?

Most people who hate Katherine Heigl hate the actress because she seems like a bit of a diva, or because she keeps appearing in annoying rom-coms, including one with Ashton Kutcher that hurts my head when I even think about it. The fellas at Register-Her.com have another reason: she hates balls.  As in, testicles.

Well, not really. What the Register-Her fellas are worked up about is a PSA she did for Funny or Die in which she claims to be in favor of neutering pets not because she loves animals but simply because she hates balls so much. At one point she declares, tongue firmly in cheek:

I can’t cut the nuts off human men … yet. So, I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, cause that’s legal.

The joke here, as any rational person can plainly see, isn’t that cutting off balls is inherently hilarious. The joke is that an actress with a reputation as a diva is basically doing her critics one better by portraying herself as a deranged, narcissistic, supremely creepy ball-hater.  And she’s spoofing her own bad reputation for a genuinely good cause: reducing cat and dog overpopulation and therefore the number of unwanted animals that are put to death in our nation’s animal shelters.

Of course that’s not how the fellas at Register-Her.com see it. And so they’ve put Heigl on their faux “offender registry” as a “bigot.” Their explanation?

The actress’s willingness to endorse male targeted sexual mutilation betrays a bigoted indifference to sexual violence, and justifies her inclusion on this registry in the category of bigot.

Presumably the fellas at Register-Her will next go after the people who have posted the more than twenty thousand YouTube videos that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts. Surely these videos, which feature actual violence against actual human balls are a far graver threat to the balls of the world than even Katherine Heigl.

The Register-Her Action Squad might start by tracking down the (admittedly quite ingenious) ball-hating dudes involved in this video.

And then move on to all the ball-hating bigots featured here:

And here are 50 more:

Better track down the ghost of Scott Joplin, too, for providing the music to the last one from beyond the grave.

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Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

I don’t think NWO knows how spaying works.

…Much less satire.

Buttman
Buttman
12 years ago

Are there any celebrity men that make fun of women getting beaten or raped? Of course not. It would be a career killer. We need to make violence against men unacceptable. I don’t trust anyone that cares more about animals than men.

Snowy
Snowy
12 years ago

On that note, since I’m tired from working my mentally and physically challenging dangerous job, I’ll leave you with a little regendered feminist satire.

“I’ve always wanted to cut out every womans vagina, but I guess I’ll have to settle for neutering cats instead!”

Shouldn’t that be spaying?

Seraph
Seraph
12 years ago

See, NWO, the difference there is that we have every reason to believe that you really do want to cut out every woman’s vagina.

Bostonian
12 years ago

It should be spaying and the analogous organs would be ovaries.

Bostonian
12 years ago

Also, NWO is the guy who is pissed that raping 14 year olds is illegal.

captainbathrobe
12 years ago

Bodie’s position on trans people (“men dressing up in high heels”) it’s remarkably close to that of NWO Slave’s. Oddly enough, my position on her closely matches that of Mags. Strange bedfellows and all that.

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

Anatomy is an evil feminist conspiracy. Everyone knows that “vagina” is the only female reproductive organ.
/sarcasm

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

I’m not saying tall bitches are tall on purpose, but they usually wear monster heels, yet another FUCKING example of women using whatever they can to exert dominance on ARROGANTthey are ARROGANT. in my opinion they should be banned from heels for people or at least BITCHES over 5’4

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

“I don’t think guys like NWO have any conception that divorce courts actually don’t work like that most of the time.”

NWO doesn’t have any conception of how anything in the the world works, except milk machines.

darksidecat
darksidecat
12 years ago

It is worth noting that two of the things on NWO’s list of things he thinks that all feminists (including socialist feminists) agree on involve wage labor. Tell me, NWO do you know what socialism is and what the vast majority of socialists think of a wage labor system?

shaenon
12 years ago

Ok, I typed without thinking. Heigl is just a stupid bitch. I have a real problem with women over 5’8, honestly.

Okay, you have a problem. So deal with your problem; don’t blame it on other people. Honestly, you’re not the center of the damn universe. I did not grow to the height of 5’10” to upset you. I did it to upset my mother.

I’ve notcied tall bitches love to wear heels so they can spit from greater distances.

Not a real thing. Happens only in your brain.

Please don’t let your brain continue to tell you rotten things that aren’t true and make you sad.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

Is this supposed spitting symbolic or actual? Because I don’t think I can actually recall ever seeing a woman literally spit on a man other than as part of a BSDM roleplay.

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

I just watched some of these videos. I don’t have balls but even I felt their pain. Why would they do that to themselves??!?

Jill the Spinster
Jill the Spinster
12 years ago

Nwo, do you know how spaying works in female animals? They remove the ovaries and the uterus. (fyi, just in case you really are that stupid)

shaenon
12 years ago

I know NWO wants me to post his book again, but, in the spirit of the holiday season and all, I feel like we need something constructive, not destructive. With that in mind, the Book of Learnin’ has been temporarily replaced by the more sensible and helpful:

The Talking Heads Guide to Life
From the liner notes to Stop Making Sense

LIVING WITH OTHER PEOPLE: Violence on television only affects children whose parents act like television personalities. Table manners are for people who have nothing better to do. Civilization is a religion. Civilized people walk funny. There is always a party going on somewhere. People will remember you better if you always wear the same outfit.

LIFE ON EARTH: Men like pastries, women like custards. Scientists have invented a love drug, but it only works on bugs. Animals like earthquakes, tornadoes and volcanic activity. Nuclear weapons can wipe out life on Earth, but only if used properly. Cats like houses better than people. Dolphins find people amusing, but they don’t want to talk to them. People look ridiculous when they’re in ecstasy. Schools are for training people how to listen to other people. Body odor is the window to the soul. Sound is worth money.

THE SPACE PEOPLE: Space People read out mail. The Space People think that TV news programs are comedies, and that soap operas are news. The Space People will contact us when they can make money by doing so. The Space People think factories are musical instruments. They sing along with them. Each song lasts from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. No music on weekends.

WORLD TRAVEL: Passport pictures are what people really look like. Rich people will travel great distances to look at poor people. Toast is the national dish of Australia. People never travel to look at flat landscapes. People would rather watch things than eat. Looking at postcards is better than looking at the real thing. Looking up is as scary as looking down.

IN THE FUTURE: In the future, women will have breasts all over. In the future, it will be a relief to find a place without culture. In the future, plates of food will have names and titles. In the future, we will all drive standing up. In the future, love will be taught on television and by listening to pop songs.

WORK: Crime is a job. Sex is a job. Growing up is a job. School is a job. Going to parties is a job. Religion is a job. Being creative is a job.

Dracula
Dracula
12 years ago

Dolphins find people amusing, but they don’t want to talk to them.

They are polite enough to thank us for all the fish, though.

Raymond
Raymond
12 years ago

Thank you Quacker for saying what needed to be said about far too many men. And being a man some are going to accuse me of ulterior motives for attacking the misogynists as if I’m trying to gain the favor of women for some other reason than for standing with them to change the sexism, and misogyny that is the norm of today. @NWO is the ultimate a**hole and representative of what Quacker has listed for him and his ilk as being what they desire from women. I refuse to join the groups of men who are blinded by their masochism and celebrate their stupidity, misogynism, and sexism. I am grateful for Amanda Marcotte who tweeted the link to this site. As I read on windupmyskirt a definition of a feminist, turns out I am one, I’m also a member of NOW, as I made a donation recently. Just sayin’.
I love Katherine Heigl for her caring for the animals. I don’t see how anyone cannot see the humor in her video presentation in which she depricates herself in the name of a greater goal. I didn’t think it possible, but Heigl has risen even higher in my book. I first saw her in a show called Roswell, and fell in love, she is a great talent. I am not really much of a celebrity hound.
As Amanda tweeted, “Is anyone more humorless than anti-feminists? It’s really hard to imagine that it’s possible.” I absolutely agree with her.

Fatman
Fatman
12 years ago

NWOslave, back on November 28th you made the assertion that, “Womens sexuality is her body. Mens sexuality are their actions. Men are atrracted to a womans body. Women are attracted to a mans actions/talent/wealth/power [sic].” I understand things often move fast around here, but would you please take a little time to let me know how you came to those conclusions?

shaenon
12 years ago

NWOslave, back on November 28th you made the assertion that, “Womens sexuality is her body. Mens sexuality are their actions. Men are atrracted to a womans body. Women are attracted to a mans actions/talent/wealth/power [sic].” I understand things often move fast around here, but would you please take a little time to let me know how you came to those conclusions?

Oh, I know! Is it because he has trouble conceiving of other people, especially women, as beings with thoughts that are separate from his? He finds women’s bodies sexually attractive, therefore women must find their own bodies sexually attractive. And he’s not attracted to men’s bodies, so obviously no one is.

MRAL, do you recognize that, when you try to imagine what’s going on in the minds of tall women as they walk around shamelessly being tall, you’re falling for the same cognitive distortion as NWO?

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

Oh, I know! Is it because he has trouble conceiving of other people, especially women, as beings with thoughts that are separate from his? He finds women’s bodies sexually attractive, therefore women must find their own bodies sexually attractive. And he’s not attracted to men’s bodies, so obviously no one is.

shaenon explains how owlslave thinks, wins ‘staring into the void’ trophy.

Sharculese
Sharculese
12 years ago

confession: when i was mral’s age i was exactly like him, and finally i decided to change that, and it took extreme effort where i was like ‘this is not an okay way to think about women, gonna have to retrain myself’. and i’m extremely happy i did, and (unrelated) i’ve also had way more success with women since i did that. which makes me want to believe that mral can evolve, he just has to want to first.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
12 years ago

I think a lot of young men who for whatever reason have a hard time connecting with women go through that stage, which is part of why people here are kinder to MRAL than the rest of the trolls. We’ve all known boys like that, and most of them do grow out of it.

One of the most harmful things about the MRM in the “patriarchy hurts men too” sense is that it actively discourages them from ever growing beyond that stage, thus setting them up for a lifetime of unhappiness.

That doesn’t have to happen to you, MRAL. You’re still young enough to change.

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

We do. We fight for equal custody. An end to debtor prison. Fairness in court. […] women initiate the majority of DV.</blockquote
Yeah, but no. That's just a list of fights, some that are worthy btw. That's not actual work.

We fight against all of these things and so much more. And all of it is rooted in feminism. Since feminism is so thoroughly indoctrinated into society all women are feminist to a degree.

I was answering to Ullere who was saying feminists should respect MRAs. Not gonna happen as long as you try to depict us as the source of all evil.

I sign and sign and sign petitions. I donate money to various funds. I do all kinds of stuff.

Signing petitions is hardly hard-core activism, especially internet petitions. Which funds? What kind of stuff?
And that’s not what I asked, I asked a MRM group that would actually works for men’s rights and not despise women.
Does not count: fathers’ right (or other) groups that do not self define as MRA, Register-Her, threatening to go silently in the streets with matching t-shirts, offering bounty to harass college girls that did a violent video.

I come here and mock the mockers as well.

Lol.

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

html fail, sorry.

We do. We fight for equal custody. An end to debtor prison. Fairness in court. […] women initiate the majority of DV.

Yeah, but no. That’s just a list of fights, some that are worthy btw. That’s not actual work.

We fight against all of these things and so much more. And all of it is rooted in feminism. Since feminism is so thoroughly indoctrinated into society all women are feminist to a degree.

I was answering to Ullere who was saying feminists should respect MRAs. Not gonna happen as long as you try to depict us as the source of all evil.

I sign and sign and sign petitions. I donate money to various funds. I do all kinds of stuff.

Signing petitions is hardly hard-core activism, especially internet petitions. Which funds? What kind of stuff?
And that’s not what I asked, I asked a MRM group that would actually works for men’s rights and not despise women.
Does not count: fathers’ right (or other) groups that do not self define as MRA, Register-Her, threatening to go silently in the streets with matching t-shirts, offering bounty to harass college girls that did a violent video. (If you need explanation for any of that, I can offer it, but I really hope not)

I come here and mock the mockers as well.

Lol.