Most people who hate Katherine Heigl hate the actress because she seems like a bit of a diva, or because she keeps appearing in annoying rom-coms, including one with Ashton Kutcher that hurts my head when I even think about it. The fellas at Register-Her.com have another reason: she hates balls. As in, testicles.
Well, not really. What the Register-Her fellas are worked up about is a PSA she did for Funny or Die in which she claims to be in favor of neutering pets not because she loves animals but simply because she hates balls so much. At one point she declares, tongue firmly in cheek:
I can’t cut the nuts off human men … yet. So, I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, cause that’s legal.
The joke here, as any rational person can plainly see, isn’t that cutting off balls is inherently hilarious. The joke is that an actress with a reputation as a diva is basically doing her critics one better by portraying herself as a deranged, narcissistic, supremely creepy ball-hater. And she’s spoofing her own bad reputation for a genuinely good cause: reducing cat and dog overpopulation and therefore the number of unwanted animals that are put to death in our nation’s animal shelters.
Of course that’s not how the fellas at Register-Her.com see it. And so they’ve put Heigl on their faux “offender registry” as a “bigot.” Their explanation?
The actress’s willingness to endorse male targeted sexual mutilation betrays a bigoted indifference to sexual violence, and justifies her inclusion on this registry in the category of bigot.
Presumably the fellas at Register-Her will next go after the people who have posted the more than twenty thousand YouTube videos that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts. Surely these videos, which feature actual violence against actual human balls are a far graver threat to the balls of the world than even Katherine Heigl.
The Register-Her Action Squad might start by tracking down the (admittedly quite ingenious) ball-hating dudes involved in this video.
And then move on to all the ball-hating bigots featured here:
And here are 50 more:
Better track down the ghost of Scott Joplin, too, for providing the music to the last one from beyond the grave.
@ Cassandrasays: “Wow, she was arrogant. I can see why adolescents find her so eternally appealing.”
I Lol’d at this! It always* struck me as an incredibly juvenile, ethically stunted philosophy. It reminds me of myself at that age, sadly. I suppose having been through a similar phase as a PETA-bot I can kind of sympathize. I just don’t know what to say when I see adults embracing it.
*By always I mean as an adult, maybe 10 years or so ago when I first of heard of her.
***
To the rest of you and David, this is my first post here, so hello 🙂 I just linked to this blog from Blag Hag (I think? I dunno, sometimes it’s a rabbit hole) and discovered the, um, “wonderfully” misanthropic world of MRAs. Which I suppose I always knew existed, at least in the darkest places of my darkest heart, but holy crap o.0 Seriously?
Anyway, I spent a couple of hours yesterday and today partaking in the horror and laughing at the posts and comments (in a good way, except for No Cuntry, who I totally think was that Whatever guy and was so relieved when someone finally said something), so thanks for simultaneously horrifying and amusing me 🙂
i was a randroid in high school and because i mentioned i was going to do it, my teacher made everyone enter the anthem essay contest (anthem was already on our reading list, so its not like i completely ruined everything)
also, zhinxy, have you seen the new ron paul commercial?
That commercial is hilarious. It’s like a really low budget Michael Bay.
I was not a Randian in high school, but if I had been, I could have declared my chronic truancy “going galt”
I had not seen that. Wow. WOW!
It’s nice animation work, but the whole “we’ll just evaporate a bunch of major government functions” thing is either very poorly explained or it’s more naive than 9-9-9.
Arks: Dude… you have no clue about how evolution works, or what, “survivial of the fittest means”.
I think this the first time I’ve ever said somethig like this (so you should feel honored, or something) but, for the good of the species, I sincerely hope every woman on earth is willing to symbolically kill you
@holly
it’s the latter. ron paul supporters can pretty much be divided into two groups: those who honestly believe that ron paul could zero out several executive branch departments on day one and want it to happen, and the ones who are like ‘weeeeelllll he couldnt actually do that, so its unfair to bring up the fact that he wants and promises to as a criticism of him’
That campaign add is pathetic. Look how hard it tried to be stereotypically masculine. I’m sure the manosphere love it.
I could sort of see very gradually phasing out some federal functions and passing others off to the states or to private industry. (Although I’d rather the feds held on to the nuclear weapons, thanks. It’s not that I trust them so much, but I trust anyone who’d take control of the nukes away from the DOE even less.)
But phrasing that as “No Department of Energy! BOOM!” doesn’t make me think you’re a Decider, it makes me worry that you think you can just ask everyone at the DOE to clean our their desks and the rest will take care of itself.
Now that I think about it, I’m not sure a mushroom cloud was a good choice for a graphic there.
:”It’s nice animation work, but the whole “we’ll just evaporate a bunch of major government functions” thing is either very poorly explained or it’s more naive than 9-9-9.”
Bingo. It’s just posturing, since he knows he can’t DO it. But …
Watch this video for a great explanation of how stupid and utterly chaotic this would be if he attempted to enact it. I don’t always agree with Molyneux, but god, this is beautiful.
(As for me and federal functions – Anarchist. Want to build alternative social order before knocking the fed down. Don’t think cutting at it is gonna work. Love privatization, but not the way it’s gonna happen in the state-corporate climate. Blackwater bad. Power to the workers. Blah blah blah. )
Adding – He’s too free with the “slavery” talk for me. But his evisceration of the paulian’s scenarios is still gold.
Oh crap, I entered that Ayn Rand contest in high school too. Aren’t scholarships against the whole Objectivist philosophy anyway? I assume they gave it to the kid who turned in a blank sheet of paper because he refused to be a leech on society’s winners by accepting charity instead of starting his own nineteenth-century railroad monopoly.
(Actually, my real assumption is that there is no scholarship.)
HAH! And this is why we need to move away from the factory schooling model and promote self directed supervised learning! Right there!
That works fine unless you get this parent supervising your learning:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our-daughter-isnt-a-selfish-brat-your-son-just-hasnt-read-atlas-shrugged
Oh, god, I can’t believe I’d never seen that before. <3
Sometimes we have to make some sacrifices for individual freedom. Bold sacrifices. Including allowing the existence of Randians… *shudder*
You know, cutting government spending in the middle of a recession is a terrible idea. Direct government spending has some of the most effective stimulus effects, especially during a demand recession like this recession. Taxes are less effective, because if the government spends money it gets spent, but if it gives people money some of them will save it or use it to pay off debts, neither of which creates jobs.
Also, I notice he says nothing about cutting defense which, if we’re going to start cutting things, is where I’d start.
well, to be fair, ron paul would cut defense. he’s extremely critical of the military industrial complex. it’s his only good point and probably the reason he’s got the most attention.
he also has a bad habit of thinking he can use it as a bludgeon, though. i remember in one of the ’08 republican primary debates, right after that american ship got hassled by iranian paramilitary in speedboats, britt hume asked all the candidates how they felt about the captain’s decision not to respond with force. they uniformly said that it was his decision and they weren’t going to question it, but when he got to paul, dude still tried to take down everyone for being militaristic and aggressive.
you know those shitty video of rand paul trying to bully some senate committee witness with his ideological platitudes? he got it from his daddy.
And all these years I thought I was the only one who had to do this. I feel so much less alone right now.
“you know those shitty video of rand paul trying to bully some senate committee witness with his ideological platitudes? he got it from his daddy.”
Yup. Another thing – Though Rand denies being a libertarian, to his credit, the “like father like son” thing means now we have to answer for him too. Thanks for breeding, Ron. Dammit. 😛
well, rand appears to have inherited all of his dad’s terrible ideas (and feels more comfortable spouting the really terrible aspects) without inheriting his suspicion of american military power. it’s the worst of both worlds.
also, you cant fault ron for breeding. he loves babies. according to commenters on a number of blogs, he has delivered over 4,000 of them, and this makes him qualified to be president.
Bingo – He gets all of daddy’s republican and none of his libbertarian. And I don’t like his hair. But regardless, the times you hear “Libertarian Rand Paul” .” NOOOOO! HE’S JUST A REPUBLICAN, IT’S NOT LIKE A GENETIC THING! WE HAVE PLENTY OF ASSHOLES BUT THIS ONE ISN’T OURS!! WHAAAH! *sniffle*
also, you cant fault ron for breeding. he loves babies. according to commenters on a number of blogs, he has delivered over 4,000 of them, and this makes him qualified to be president.
-OH! I have actually met someone touched by the holy hands of Ron upon her entry into this world! That’s a Democrat. Bitch!
I also wrote a Rand-based essay for The Fountainhead! I remember sort of finding Roark intriguing at first, because he was written like he was going to be a god, but really, he was just stilted and unpleasant. And then there was the “sex” scene. Oh my. Not a pleasant memory.
And I don’t like his hair
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!
And then there was the “sex” scene. Oh my. Not a pleasant memory.
ah, the gravel pit. if youve never looked up rand’s views on rape, do yourself a favor and don’t.
Ron Paul delivered those babies, they must have caught it from him or something. The doctor who delivered me was from what is now North Korea. Is that why I am such a commie? XD
Oh, and we know why HUD is on that list, because most of the primary functions of HUD is to housing the poor and developing infrastructure in poor neighborhoods, and no one hates the poor like Ron Paul and co.
i disagree. john boehner hates the poor. paul ryan hates the poor.
ron paul regrets the fact that the poor exist, because they spoil his vision of a perfect society. but he doesnt hate them, so long as theyre white.