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Katherine Heigl: Ballbusting bigot?

That's not funny?

Most people who hate Katherine Heigl hate the actress because she seems like a bit of a diva, or because she keeps appearing in annoying rom-coms, including one with Ashton Kutcher that hurts my head when I even think about it. The fellas at Register-Her.com have another reason: she hates balls.  As in, testicles.

Well, not really. What the Register-Her fellas are worked up about is a PSA she did for Funny or Die in which she claims to be in favor of neutering pets not because she loves animals but simply because she hates balls so much. At one point she declares, tongue firmly in cheek:

I can’t cut the nuts off human men … yet. So, I’ve dedicated my time to the neutering of dogs, cause that’s legal.

The joke here, as any rational person can plainly see, isn’t that cutting off balls is inherently hilarious. The joke is that an actress with a reputation as a diva is basically doing her critics one better by portraying herself as a deranged, narcissistic, supremely creepy ball-hater.  And she’s spoofing her own bad reputation for a genuinely good cause: reducing cat and dog overpopulation and therefore the number of unwanted animals that are put to death in our nation’s animal shelters.

Of course that’s not how the fellas at Register-Her.com see it. And so they’ve put Heigl on their faux “offender registry” as a “bigot.” Their explanation?

The actress’s willingness to endorse male targeted sexual mutilation betrays a bigoted indifference to sexual violence, and justifies her inclusion on this registry in the category of bigot.

Presumably the fellas at Register-Her will next go after the people who have posted the more than twenty thousand YouTube videos that feature dudes getting hit in the nuts. Surely these videos, which feature actual violence against actual human balls are a far graver threat to the balls of the world than even Katherine Heigl.

The Register-Her Action Squad might start by tracking down the (admittedly quite ingenious) ball-hating dudes involved in this video.

And then move on to all the ball-hating bigots featured here:

And here are 50 more:

Better track down the ghost of Scott Joplin, too, for providing the music to the last one from beyond the grave.

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Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Eventually register-her will achieve its ultimate goal of documenting all known and suspected women in the world.

Also, I half wish they’d direct threats and stalking against her, not because I wish that on her but because she has access to the law firm of Not, Fucking, & Around. Something tells me they aren’t going to be as “brave” about harassing her as they are with some powerless mommyblogger or college students.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
12 years ago

Katherine Heigl is nothing but a snivelling mangina.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Oh, ferfuckssake. Do they have any idea how foolish they look or do they just not care?

On the plus side, it’ll make register-her seem even goofier than it does now.

Spearhafoc
12 years ago

Hans Moleman’s Man Getting Hit by Football must be misandrist as hell. Not to mention the higher budget but vastly inferior George C. Scott remake.

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

HAHAHA Spearhafoc XD

It also reminds me of the Idiocracy discussion we had last week. Are they gonna put Mike Judge on there for creating the fictional “Ow my Balls” TV show that was in the movie?”

Anyway. I’m sure that will totally ruin her career.

Are ball-cutting jokes tasteless? yep. But so are rape jokes. Racist jokes, sexist jokes, dead baby jokes…but these still exist. There are going to exist no matter what we do. Have they ever listened to death metal? many of those lyrics are all about raping and mutilating women as well as various other nasty stuff. Comedians also still use these jokes. These guys are attacking freedom of speech and are trying to implement censorship. To be truly unbiased they should attack all tasteless and violent humor. But that again, would still be censorship.

And of course you wont find them attacking those youtube videos, because most of them are men hitting each other in the balls. Only women may be targeted for “bigotry” how ironic.

This is why I find it totally hypocritical when some MRAs claim they are libertarians. No. They only want freedom when it benifits them. But if someone else doesn’t adhere to their standards, they silence them.

Bostonian
12 years ago

Yet more proof that these dudes are seriously humor impaired.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

“Only women may be targeted for “bigotry” how ironic.”

Exactly. You could list every single poster on The Spearhead under the guidelines they’ve assigned for Heigl. And those people certainly aren’t joking about the things they say.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

By the way how do I quote people? There’s a way to do it I’ve seen where it highlights the comment in qhite.

Tatjna
Tatjna
12 years ago

The balls on the right of the picture have two faces and I will never look at testicles the same again.

Xanthe
Xanthe
12 years ago

The register-her site leaves me speechless. What is it supposed to achieve? (And as a wiki it’s technically deficient.)

Crumbelievable,
<blockquote>Stuff you want quoted</blockquote>

looks like

Stuff you want quoted

Ullere
Ullere
12 years ago

Part of me suspects that this is a publicity stunt. If Heigl were to sue with ‘the law firm of Not, Fucking, & Around.’ a protracted law suit would give easy publicity and validity to their site. Slander/tort/libel suits are hard to win at the best of times and the RH team could probably get away with freedom of expression or even agreeing to merely remove Heigl, a small price to pay for the attention a suit would bring to the site.

‘This is why I find it totally hypocritical when some MRAs claim they are libertarians. No. They only want freedom when it benifits them. But if someone else doesn’t adhere to their standards, they silence them.’

Some mra’s are probably not involved in RH.

Viscaria
Viscaria
12 years ago

I think MRAL has a comment in the box at all times that says (insert someone from the OP here) is a snivelling mangina!

He’s not even making sure they’re men anymore.

zhinxy
12 years ago

Or maybe the spearhead sorts are fully aware of the joke, ande have actually decided mutilating pets in some sick NWO feminist mangina population reducing plan is MISANDRIC SRS BZNESS…

No, it’s really plausible that they might go there. Oh, god, that’s so sad.

Holly Pervocracy
12 years ago

Why is MRAs’ go-to insult always “you aren’t your gender!”

I think there’s some deep psychological shit there.

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

“” blablablabla “” (but without the “)

As someone mentioned recently, there is several kind of humor. This video is definitely in the “haha, this is ridiculous and that would never never happen”. Btw, I put many dead babies joke in the same category: “haha, what we’re telling is horrible but we would never do that”
But yeah, if they’re going after ball-hater, they should really start with videos of people kicking each other in the nut or montage of nut-related accident.

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

hey, my disappeared! Well, It was answered so never mind.

So, MRAL. o_0 What happened to women you dislike just being evil bitches? The whole point of the slur is to say the person has a vagina, but since Heigl probably has one, I can’t figure the insulting part. Is it man!?

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

<. Less than. Stop disappearing.

VoIP
VoIP
12 years ago

Katherine Heigl is nothing but a snivelling mangina.

It’s MRA mad-Libs! Honey, Katherine Heigl is a lady, like Mommy, and a “mangina” is a man, like Daddy.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

MRAL, why don’t you go not read the OP or not watch the video, then tell us what it all means.

Bostonian
12 years ago

MARL is also seriously humor impaired.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

“Katherine Heigl is nothing but a snivelling mangina”

She’s not a man, MRAL. Just say “vagina”. Saying, “She’s a snivelling vagina” helps avoid any confusion while preserving the misogyny originally intened in your post. I’m here to help!

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
12 years ago

Also, thanks David. I’ll never sleep again.

Quackers
Quackers
12 years ago

Exactly. You could list every single poster on The Spearhead under the guidelines they’ve assigned for Heigl. And those people certainly aren’t joking about the things they say.

Tell me about it. Women are children, women need to be guided, women are dumber, women are by nature manipulative whores, etc… I’ve heard it all on there. So where’s register-him.com?

I don’t remember the asshole’s name, but the worst has to be the guy who said all baby girls should be required to have their voice boxes removed so they can’t speak when they grow up. Sickening.

Some mra’s are probably not involved in RH.

What do I fucking care? Meller is our resident self proclaimed libertarian troll and he wants to force all non-virgins into sexual slavery. All you MRAs are the same to me, no matter what site you congregate on. I haven’t found one MRA who isn’t a misogynistic asshole that blames feminism for all his problems. Besides, MRA’s think all feminists are man haters no matter how many times we tell you otherwise, so why should I offer MRAs the benefit of the doubt when MRAs won’t for feminists?

Kyrie
Kyrie
12 years ago

I’ve got someone else they need to put on Register-Her:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6621668/balls-the-music-video

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