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New form of anti-male oppression discovered: Women’s magazines in checkout lines!

Yeah, I know you've all seen this one before, but, come on! It's funny!

Over on Reddit’s Men’s Rights subreddit, cheester warns all of us dudes about an especially insidious form of anti-male oppression: the racks of women’s magazines that lurk near the checkout counters of grocery stores everywhere!

can I get some feedback on womens magazines at the grocery checkout? Every issue states “new tricks he doesn’t know in bed” and shite like that. It’s obvious porn for the gals but why is it so accepted by everyone that it has carte blanche to be within a two foot reach as I pay for my food? If a magazine for men had on the cover: “20 Ways To Make Her Squirm Like A Fish”….there would be a national outrage.

Yeah, it’s not like Men’s magazines ever run anything like that.

Church groups and womens rights would say it demoralizes women and have the publication banned or put behind censored racks in seedy smoke shops.

Yeah. It’s not like this ever happens to women’s magazines.

But the womens mags are right there as a last shop item in the flourescent lit, sterilized, family atmosphere where every mother parades her toddlers and kids right past the 3 letter word in big black block letters;SEX on the cover of every flashy colored womens mag that comes out each month.  

Not only is this oppression of men, it’s oppression of all toddlers who can read and know what the word “sex” means.

Also, feminists have never criticized women’s magazines in any way. “Ten Ways to Make Him Squirm” articles are the distilled essence of feminism! And most of them are written by the ghost of Andrea Dworkin.

NOTE:  Does this even need a “sarcasm” tag?

 

 

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hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

“If she was taught how to please her man in ways outside, as well as within the bedroom, maybe some of the DV modern women complain about would never happen.”

Victim blaming. How original.

Mellertoad fancies himself quite the ally against DV. With allies like that, who needs enemies?

Joanna
12 years ago

I’m unfamiliar with “DV”. Can anyone explain?

Bee
Bee
12 years ago

Domestic violence, Joanna. It’s just a shorthand.

Bostonian
Bostonian
12 years ago

Domestic violence is DV. Meller is an advocate of using it, apparently.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
12 years ago

There is always time for a perfect woman to enjoy sex and her G-d-given femininity without “pushing” it in any way!

Yeah, like Valium.

Moewicus
Moewicus
12 years ago

Thirding the love-on for Cosmocking, here.

Also, DKM, thank you for making me laugh out loud with “womagazines.” I loved that. Not so much your-victim blaming about domestic violence. It really puts the lie to your lip-service talk of how barbaric it is when you talk about how it’s just a consequence of being a shrew and how you would be hard-pressed to convict an abuser. Along with your talk about how you would like to see feminists die horribly of cancer, it is quite evident that you revel in it, really.

Does DKM’s post remind anyone else of that Bertran de Born poem where he talks about “cull[ing] from each a fair trait / and mak[ing] me a borrowed lady…”? Or maybe that’s just the vibe I get off of him all the time.

Joanna
12 years ago

Ah right. The way Meller was going on about it, it seemed like some snooty feminist thing. For shame, Meller!

Joanna
12 years ago

“If the articles emphasized the imporance of recognising the man as “head of the house” so much the better, “

No! -.-

There is no “leader” in a marriage.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

Moewicus, I don’t remember who said that DKM reminds them of Annie Wilkes from Stephen King’s “Misery,” but I think it’s pretty apt.

2-D Man
2-D Man
12 years ago

I get the feeling that in about 10 years DKM (heh, Dinkum) is going to figure out how Christian Theocracy is supposed to work and suddenly go all political, thinking he can make his little Stepford dream come true for all of society using the force of law.

hellkell
hellkell
12 years ago

2-D Man, if you want some of his political batshittery, go on over to the 100% Mathematically Accurate thread.

Glass
Glass
12 years ago

DKM Wrote:
“If the articles emphasized the imporance of recognising the man as “head of the house” so much the better, although I should think that his ladylove would already be inclined in that direction.”

Dude, your fragile little ego and fetishistic desire to be empowered at the expense of another human being may make what you posit sound like a great deal to you but frankly I don’t want to be the “head of the household”. I’ve been married to a wonderful woman for 13 years. No one is in charge and no one is sub-servant because neither of us have a need to be in control of the other.

But thanks for throwing out the 700 Club reference. Now I can lump you in with the others here: http://www.fstdt.com/QuoteArchives.aspx?Archive=1

I was raised in an ultra patriarchal Bible based family straight out of Pat Robertson’s wet dreams. Though you may have convinced yourself that was a better model for the family, the constant DV I saw growing up taught me the truth: it’s all a facade.

Don’t you have a Realdoll to dress up or something?

Sharculese
12 years ago

I get the feeling that in about 10 years DKM (heh, Dinkum) is going to figure out how Christian Theocracy is supposed to work and suddenly go all political, thinking he can make his little Stepford dream come true for all of society using the force of law.

it’s actually exactly the opposite. dkm thinks that if all law were removed, his ideal society would spontaneously appear.

ozymandias42
12 years ago

PORN
Sex Is Not The Enemy
The Crash Pad
Slash fic
Really, all of the porn fanfic
Comstock Films
All those James Deen Tumblrs I’ve lately found myself obsessed with
the late, lamented Filament Magazine
Page 289-293 in romance novels

NOT PORN
Cosmo

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
12 years ago

dkm thinks that if all law were removed, his ideal society would spontaneously appear.

He’s close, but really you don’t need to remove all law so much as all female frontal cortices. Once half the population is no longer sapient his dream will come true!

2-D Man
2-D Man
12 years ago

it’s actually exactly the opposite. dkm thinks that if all law were removed, his ideal society would spontaneously appear.

Exactly! This kind of shit seems standard fare for utopian fantasists. What do you think he’ll do when that doesn’t happen? I think he’ll attempt to impose his will by force of law ‘for the good of everyone else’. The joke will really be on him because a) he’ll fail and b) he’ll be following the exact model of Falwell, Roberson, et. al., whom he currently criticizes for being impure.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
12 years ago

Slash fic
Really, all of the porn fanfic

INDEED. 😀

That would even be an acceptable scenario for jerking someone off with a donut, probably. And I doubt that you even need to start with a glazed donut. And not to be stereotypical, but on account of the donut thing… this porn would definitely involve police officers. Also incredibly bad double-entendres. Probably the word “baton” would be misused at least once. Such is the nature of popcorn.

Moewicus
Moewicus
12 years ago

For the lulz:

Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

-Pat Robertson

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
12 years ago

To restore balance to the Cosmos (u c wut I did thar? XD) here is some female-warriors-in-realistic-armor porn! http://womenfighters.tumblr.com/

It’s not actually porn, fyi, it’s just cool and kind of sexy. And generally there is about zero skin showing, to boot. :p

David K. Meller
David K. Meller
12 years ago

I don’t–and never wanted to–“blame the victim in” in DV cases! I simply offer a commonsense application of the old saying, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”.If a victim can be saved by a fairly simple and easily straightforward action–which may improve the relationship as well–why shouldn’t she? It won’t work in every case, but then, what does? You have had several decades to work with jail, women’s shelters, and anger management “therapy” and levels of success for the feminists are, to put it charitably, problematic at best.

True to form of couples who seem to “need a good fight before a good night”, how many victims go back to the abuser, or to someone just like him at the earliest opportunity? Maybe there is nothing that can be done about this, but if there should be,isn’t everyone better served by looking at these relationships realistically, rather then engaging in empty moraliizing of “woman good, man bad”. This may make the journalist, family court judge, or social worker “feel good”, but it doesn’t , and cannot, do anything for the issues at hand!

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
12 years ago

Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

-Pat Robertson

Wow, “Feminism” is apparently a movie where Clytemnestra and Medea each do their thing, and then hook up and make out and start an Ancient Greek mythological chick commune together. Awesome.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
12 years ago

If a victim can be saved by a fairly simple and easily straightforward action–which may improve the relationship as well–why shouldn’t she? It won’t work in every case, but then, what does?

They can’t, it doesn’t, it’s been tried for thousands of years, you suck. Next question?

Sharculese
12 years ago

dkm, you should probably try doing some basic reading on domestic violence before you announce you have a magic cure for it

David K. Meller
David K. Meller
12 years ago

Moewicus-Dec 1, 2011 @7:51pm

I don’t think that that statement qualifies the good former Reverend Pat Robertson for the Presidency of the USA in 1988, or today, although I can’t see how he could have been at all worse than the jerks we have had (Bush I, Clinton, Bush II a.k.a. George the Stupid, and now O’bomber) but I have to say that he had SOMETHING there! If feminism isn’t one of the most destructive pieces of mass insanity since the children’s crusade, I don’t know what is!

filetofswedishfish
filetofswedishfish
12 years ago

Bagelsan- The donut thing (and the other things I referenced) were rilly rilly fr srs in a Cosmo mag a girl I knew had in high school. I remember her showing a bunch of us in the locker room and even our sophomore selves being like lolwut? I mean, sure, whatever does it for ya, but, Cosmo, people come up with wackier, hotter shit all by their onesies!