I have a certain fondness for old-timey hillbilly music, the kind of stuff you can find on any number of great compilations on Yazoo records. But sometimes, alas, the lyrics to the songs reflect some old-timey bigotries that are much less charming than the music itself. Poking around on YouTube earlier today looking for the stuff I ran across this little ditty:
The lyrics:
Well, it’s a shame to whip your wife on Sunday.
Yes, it’s a shame to whip your wife on Sunday.
When you’ve got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday, Saturday
It’s a shame to whip your wife on Sunday.
It’s a shame to get drunk on Sunday.
Yes, it’s a shame to get drunk on Sunday.
When you’ve got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday, Saturday
It’s a shame to get drunk on Sunday.
Pity about the lyrics, because it’s got such a nice little banjo riff.
Cleanse your ears out with this song, a perky little number called “Hallelujah to the Lamb,” that I think would leave even Satan himself tapping his cloven hooves.
If it wasn’t Sunday then yes, totally your fault. On Sundays it’s 50:50 ’cause blaming men all the way is unfair.
KathleenB–That is correct as far as I know, but I can’t speak for everyone. There are probably women (and perhaps men as well) who are “turned on” by such behavior, and they would disagree with you (and me).
Meller: What’s correct? That it’s wrong to hit your spouse? Or that it’s wrong to hit your spouse unless they’re mouthy? Or uppity? Or, you know, have opinions that aren’t exactly the same as yours?
For example, lock all men up permanently just to be safe, or maybe just encase the guy in frozen carbonite the first time he lays a hand on anyone. Those would be “a LOT more” but I’m surprised you’re advocating that sort of thing, DKM.
…I’m just kidding, of course. Everyone knows we would never do that, because women secretly do want to get the crap kicked out of them on the regular by the man they love. LOL. You totally guessed our secret, DKM!
Molly Ren–December 1 2011 @2:12pm
Not so, Molly Ren! Many, even most, people, if they are not this way themselves, have known at least one couple (not necessarily involved in BDSM, by the way) who seem to be at their happiest fighting with each other. Even if this rarely escalates to physical, much less deadly, confrontation, it,like any intense emotions, especially when booze or dope (and weapons) are involved,will spiral out of control tragically for everyone!
I’m mean, let’s be honest: if women didn’t wanna get beat, why’d we decide to be born as corporeal beings with internal skeletons and hittable surfaces? Women are clearly asking for it! (Ditto with rape and harassment: if we didn’t want to attract male attention we would have been clever enough not to have bodies.)
Shorter DKM: Women basically WANT to be hit! Unless they’re too dumb to not know their man, in which case a few smacks will teach them!
ugh. However, denying the possibility, if not likelihood, that women could do A LOT more to prevent what they supposedly don’t want anyway
-Why the supposedly, Meller? Since you said you were SIDESTEPPING the couple that gets off on it. What’s supposed?
Yes, I, too, begin all my verbal arguments with people by getting coked up and buying a gun. It made debates at the family dinner table pretty whacky! In fact, I do this before every scenario in which I plan to feel an intense emotion. Invited to a friend’s wedding and plan to cry with happiness? Jack Daniel’s in the pocket of my bridesmaid’s dress, nunchucks in my clutch. And it’s a good thing the ticket guy confiscated my uzi and meth when I went to see Up because I bawled like a baby at that movie and the only resolution to that strong emotion obviously woulda been a violent rampage. Doesn’t everyone do this?
Way to defend abuse, Mellertoad.
“Jack Daniel’s in the pocket of my bridesmaid’s dress, nunchucks in my clutch.”
That’s like, the title of the greatest country music song of all time…
DKM, you don’t have a clue. I know the MRM denies this, but there are some people out there who will abuse zir partner for almost any reason, no matter how trivial. I don’t care how mouthy someone is. It doesn’t give zir partner an excuse to hit zir. If someone is mad enough to physically assault zir partner, then zie is the one with a problem and zie should leave the situation.
BTW, Zhinxy, I am sorry for what you went through. That is terrible.
DKM, I do really like to get hit. So you can use me as an example of a woman who does, in fact, ask for it.
When I want to get hit, I say “would you please hit me?” Any time that I am not saying this, I do not want to get hit.
If I disagree with my boyfriend, but do not say “would you please hit me?” then I do not want to be hit. I just want to discuss whatever we disagree with. If he were unclear on this–if he hit me because he thought maybe I secretly want to get hit–he would hopefully not be my boyfriend much longer.
This system has worked out very well for me, a modern feminist woman (?).
“Domestic violence is a foul and tragic phenomenon which cannot end soon enough. However, denying the possibility, if not likelihood, that women could do A LOT more to prevent what they supposedly don’t want anyway–I am sidestepping the ‘good fight before a good night’ type of couple where what we call DV may well be consensual with both partners–is simply good sense! Wives or ladyloves KNOW what their men like and don’t like, and too often respond in just the way to provoke the response. No surprises, I hope.”
You are a vile, pathetic excuse for a man, Meller. Does it give you some sort of sexual satisfaction, spouting off this stuff about how woman make men abuse them? I hope you’re getting some sort of satisfaction out of it,k because it certainly does make you look like a fool.
BTW, I think your sense of reality is slipping a little more every day, since you’re now using the same word that you use to refer to your dolls (ladyloves) to refer to actual women. Do you get drunk and yell at your dolls, then throw them across the room, then apologize but point out that they shouldn’t have made you mad, Meller?
Like I said – you’re pathetic.
DKM, the gymnastics you pull off would make you a Twister Champion.
I would NEVER hurt my little lady lovelies, and feel no need to get drunk or intoxicated around them! I celebrate gentleness, love, and patience in all relationships with women, both in and out of bed, and I wish them the best in their relationship.
I regard DV and rape with the same horror as youall do, and I thought that several of my communications above would have shown that. The only reason, in fact, that I am with dolls and fluffies right now, is because, as even a glance at some of these posts show, you modern women are too quarrelsome and opinionated to be borne. I don’t have to tell you what I would expect a man to do to you if youall were to him the way you manboobzeresses sound to me here! I would still regard your beating as reprehensible and barbaric, to say the least, but it would be VERY HARD to fault your mate or lover entirely! I don’t know how i would even vote if he would be on trial and I was on a jury, but a case for conviction would, given your attitudes of arrogant, berating, and callous hostility and self-righteousness, would NOT be airtight, and I wouldn’t be the only juryman to think so!
You’re the pathetic one, along with your sisterhood from hell, CassandraSays! You don’t even see an ally when he comes up to you and all but bites you on the nose! I also want an end to DV and rape (sex harassment is just too vague to have an opinion about), and all I do is point out the commonplace observation that a “stich in time, saves nine”. If you eliminate the CAUSES in the beginning, you eliminate the CONSEQUENCES later on.
Even a fluffybrained woman ought to see that! Pathetic one!
thebionicmommy – Thankyou. it’s over and it’s a healing process, that’s all to say, really!
Entirely tangentially, I’d just like to point out (as the person who quoted Robert Johnson above did) that misogyny and domestic violence are pretty strong continuing themes in a bunch of folk (including blues as part of “folk”) canons. That’s what happens when you preserve really old songs – you get old views preserved along with them.
My personal favourite for marrying beautiful harmony to utterly unacceptable sentiment is this gem which contains the lines:
“And if my wife should me despise
How soon I’d give her two black eyes
For if she loved me as I love thee
What a happy couple we should be
Oh good ale, thou art my darling
Thou art my joy both night and morning”
See, here’s the thing. Sometimes people do things I don’t like! Like, sometimes my partners let the trash build up until it is the Leaning Tower of Trash-Pisa. However, there are things I am allowed and not allowed to do. I am allowed to complain loudly! I am allowed to create a chore chart! I am allowed to perform an interpretive dance about the necessity of taking the trash out! I am allowed to take the trash out my own damn self!
However, I am not allowed to hit people because they won’t do what I want, even if they are clearly in the wrong here. That is because we are all adults and adults do not hit.
The only reason, in fact, that I am with dolls and fluffies right now, is because, as even a glance at some of these posts show, you modern women are too quarrelsome and opinionated to be borne. I don’t have to tell you what I would expect a man to do to you if youall were to him the way you manboobzeresses sound to me here! I would still regard your beating as reprehensible and barbaric, to say the least, but it would be VERY HARD to fault your mate or lover entirely! I don’t know how i would even vote if he would be on trial and I was on a jury, but a case for conviction would, given your attitudes of arrogant, berating, and callous hostility and self-righteousness, would NOT be airtight, and I wouldn’t be the only juryman to think so!”
So, my abuse was reprehensible and barbaric, but as a vile modern woman, I must have provoked it? Ah. Well, as for the Jury… Like many a victim, there was no arrest, no report, no trial. I just managed to get out. Shocking to those who see women as itching to put men behind bars.
Just years of trying harder and harder not to “provoke” the abuser, blaming myself when I did, and then realizing the rules were changing around me all the time. True of a million others. Not a special story. Are you of the opinion most people abused by their partners do NOT rationalize they provoke their treatment?
“You’re the pathetic one, along with your sisterhood from hell, CassandraSays! You don’t even see an ally when he comes up to you and all but bites you on the nose! ”
As a battered woman, I don’t think you’re acting like an ally. At all.
Ah, Mellerworld. Where allies of DV victims bite DV victims’ noses. Gotcha.
Also: Superduperglad that Meller isn’t partnered. At least not with a human (or a modern woman, if you’re the type who wants to make that distinction). Yay for humanity! People who can’t comprehend how to reasonably interact with other people really shouldn’t be around them.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Meller, you really see yourself as an ally? Tell me another one.
Your statemetns above showed the exact opposite, Meller. If I gave your opinion any weight, the idea that the rest of us here have views about DV and rape as shitty as yours would be offensive.
I was speaking figuratiively about “biting them on the nose!”. I interact with human beings, even human females, quite reasonably, thank you. There is a lot in what I say here which could be used as a support for nonviolence in domestic relations, if you would surmount your bitterness and appreciate it.
HAHAHAHAHHA. You ARE on a roll today.
I’m sure by surmounting bitterness and appreciating you, you mean we should turn ourselves into dolls. No thanks.