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“A man is not being respected if the woman he is with has spent her youth, beauty and fertility on someone else.” Um, what?

Vile strumpet! You'll get your comeuppance!

Manosphere dudes – MRAs, MGTOWers, PUAs and whatever other acronyms they will eventually invent – love to tell themselves little “just so” stories about women. One of their favorite stories is the story of the Bad Boy Cock Carousel.

The gist of it: Women in their twenties are at the height of their physical beauty. So they act like entitled bitches, sleeping with every Bad Boy and Alpha Asshole there is and ignoring the humble, honest, hardworking “nice guy” betas silently pining for them.

But once these mean girls hit the age of 27 or so, they suddenly become ugly monsters, and the bad boys stop returning their calls. So then the evil ladies try to glom on to the nearest beta male in an attempt to marry him and steal all of his money.

But the beta males don’t want none of that used-up pussy, and so they Go Their Own Way and everyone ends up forever alone. Or the guys learn “game” and start banging the hotties. Or they just go back to posting sammich jokes on Reddit. I think these are all supposed to be happy endings, because at least the evil bitches get their comeuppance.

Recently, someone posted a n especially creepy version of this Manosphere fairy tale in the comments here; it turned out to have been cut and pasted from a comment on Roissy/Heartiste’s “game” blog by a guy who calls himself PhillyBoy81. It’s long; I trimmed it a little for space.

“[A]lpha males” are doing all the rest of us a favor in the long run. They operate very much like short sellers in the dating market, exposing fraud and helping to discover the true prices of commodities (women).

Yep, we’re on the express train to Doucheytown.

Let’s take a 21-year old chick who’s between a 7/8 (cute to pretty. …  She can pretty much get sex whenever she wants it and with whomever she wants to have it with. And that is ultimately her downfall.

Young women (and some older ones) have an overinflated sense of the value of their vaginas. I mean, they have Wharton MBAs paying for exotic trips and they’re drinking Cosmos in the VIP with the Wizards.

Apparently this is just how women in their early twenties live. Who knew?

Since they are able to get such easy access to “alpha” dick, it follows logically that they should also have access to “alpha” wealth, marriage, and the lifestyle that accompanies all of that, right?

Wrong. See, when women gain this enormous sense of pussy power, they swing for the fences. …  So, the cute guy with a 3.8 GPA, but no car? Nope, not good enough. The nice-looking pre-med student? “Nah, I’ll just get back to him later. I heard Jude Law’s hotter brother is transferring here this semester.”

This had me worried for a second, but I looked it up: Jude Law does not have a “hotter brother,” or indeed a brother at all, which is good news for all straight men of equal or lesser hotness than Jude Law.

Anyway, back to the evil women:

They invariably end up overplaying their hand. They chase these players looking to get a ring, and then that ring never comes. So now they’re 27. It’s a good thing she kept that pre-med Johns Hopkins student in her back pocket just in case things didn’t work out with the player, right?

Wrong again. In a vacuum, women would have their way. Men beg for sex. Women decide whether to give it to them (and for most guys, they will not give it to you). But luckily, we don’t live in a vacuum. We live in the real world with social constraints, and there are two that work distinctly to a man’s advantage: reputation and age. …

Ladies don’t think … we won’t remember your bitchiness. And don’t think we won’t remember those guys who you ran behind like a cum bucket.

Hmm. I’m pretty sure the only place buckets are gifted with mobility is in old Disney cartoons.

We remember. And we punish.

When a man sleeps with 100 chicks, he’s a stud. When a woman sleeps with JUST ONE guy, that eliminates you as wifey material to ALL of his friends.  …

Apparently penises have a sort of reverse-Midas Touch thing going on: every woman who touches one turns into a filthy, used-up slut.

The height of a woman’s value, in terms of her value as a long term partner, is around the age of 27. That is the praecipice.  The older she gets, the more her singlehood gets scrutinized by men. Why the hell is she still single? Who’s cock has she been sucking all these years?

Clearly that is the first question every straight man should ask himself whenever he sees a single woman older than the age of 27. (Just make sure you don’t actually ask this question out loud; it doesn’t go over well.)

[L]et’s face it, what virile, successful bachelor wants to entertain a 29 or 30 year old as wifey potential. She’s going to want to become a baby factory right away and rip away the last vestiges of your freedom. I don’t think so. It’s now my time to swing for the fences and bang some of these 21 year olds that I couldn’t bang in college.

Hello creepy older dude lurking in the shadows at the frat party!

In conclusion, a woman’s value is really defined by the type of man who puts a ring on her finger, not the type of guy who will fuck her. It takes a lot of women a long time to understand this, and thus, they overplay their hand. If it wasn’t for the players dogging them out, these women would not get a sense of their true value and start to seek out men who fit within their price range.

It’s all about market equilibrium, yo! SCIENCE!

So that’s the story. It’s a stupid story. It’s not a true story. But it’s the story that manosphere dudes, like young children, want to hear over and over and over.

But I haven’t even gotten to the best part. Our pal MarkyMark, an excitable and somewhat addled Man Going His Own Way, reposted PhillyBoy81’s comment on his blog. In the comments there (as Man Boobz commenter Wetherby pointed out) we find this little gem:

A man is not being respected if the woman he is with has spent her youth, beauty and fertility on someone else.

Yep, that’s right. I’m just going to repeat that, because, wow.

A man is not being respected if the woman he is with has spent her youth, beauty and fertility on someone else.

All women older than 27 or so who date or marry men are disrespecting these men because … they are older than 27. Apparently women age out of spite. Maturation is misandry!

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Tatjna
Tatjna
13 years ago
Reply to  Whatever

That was a blatantly obvious attempt to set us up in a no-win situation. If we respond, we’re feeding the troll. If we don’t, we’re buying into your biological determinism. Nice try, very unsubtle.

Frankly, after having so many people ‘fight’ with you for so long, assuming that ‘the womyn’ don’t get the fun of a good argument just demonstrates your inability to grasp that this isn’t just a man thing. Much as you’d like to convince yourself that men and women are different species, we aren’t – sorry about that, your mysterious manly ways aren’t that mysterious. Yours in particular are kind of dull.

Whatever
Whatever
13 years ago

Aw, that’s so kind of you. No, seriously. But really, trolling is something we do to pass the time while we wait for our torrents to finish downloading. Don’t be so uptight, ma’am, relax. This is a satirical website whose stated purpose is mockery, no? In other words, why so serious? :p

Tatjna
Tatjna
13 years ago
Reply to  Whatever

“But I was only joking”

~ another derailing tactic used by people who are losing.

Again, nice try. Unsubtle. And, well, you’re just not that funny dude.

Kyrie
Kyrie
13 years ago

You know whatever, while you wait for your porn to download, you could also go outside and try to interact with real people, without any screen.

Whatever
Whatever
13 years ago

“your mysterious manly ways aren’t that mysterious. Yours in particular are kind of dull.”

Well, can’t please everyone 😀

Whatever
Whatever
13 years ago

Ms. T, if you are that obsessed with claiming victory, by all means, go ahead, I ain’t stopping you lolololol

And I have far too much interaction already with the people at work during the day as it is. Time online at night is me-time.

ozymandias42
13 years ago

Kyrie: Interaction without a screen? But… but… there’s the DAYSTAR out there! It can’t be healthy!

Rutee Katreya
13 years ago

NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

FWIW my friends in the beta all loved it.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
13 years ago

Aw, is the troll trying to win a sex-based argument by pulling out his extensive knowledge of porn, while arguing with people who have had actual sex? That’s adorb. Maybe that works on your middle school classmates but most of us here are adults, and some of are even biologists! If you want to start talking about vaginas and the effects of aging/structural stresses on their epithelium/musculature/elasticity this really just ain’t your crowd.

From my extensive study of hentai manga (and knowing the Japanese reputation for expertise, I can safely assume there’s a high probabilty they actually really know what they’re talking about), apparently, if a woman has sex with one man enough times (and she’s aroused when they have sex) HER VAGINA WILL EVENTUALLY MOLD ITSELF TO THE SHAPE OF HIS PENIS, THUS CLINGING TIGHTLY TO IT.

Also, I call bullshit; women never have sex with actual human men with human penises in hentai! :p And let’s be real, those talented underage rape victims ladies don’t just mold their vaginas to [whatever], they mold the entire set of all their internal organs. Trying to extrapolate that to real humans is gonna give you a very nasty surprise once you realize that human bodies follow the laws of this universe (as well as in the “closer” multiverses) which include things like gravity and the conservation of mass.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
13 years ago

But really, trolling is something we do to pass the time while we wait for our torrents to finish downloading.

You’ll clearly never sow your wild oats, but please at least seed your torrents. There’s trolls and then there’s assholes. (Also… isn’t Skyrim what people do now in all their spare time? There’s no way feminists are scarier than dragons! Or are you still plenty entertained by /dance-ing for gold in Stormwind? :D)

Tatjna
Tatjna
13 years ago
Reply to  Whatever

How can I possibly ‘win’ when you are only trolling?

I just find your dodging amusing, after the effort you put into trying to prove your point. It’s almost textbook.

Kyrie
Kyrie
13 years ago

You really don’t have to do anything whatever, but time with friends is known to be more agreeable than working. And if your problem is what Ozymandias said, you can do as vampires do and stay inside. With people. I know for a fact even board games can lead to anything.

Whatever
Whatever
13 years ago

Gawd, that’s so depressing. Even porn lies to me now too?! What else is there to believe in anymore?! MY MIND IS SHROUDED IN DARKNESS AND I AM IN SUCH DESPAIR AAARRRGGGHHH…..

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
13 years ago

>>isn’t Skyrim what people do now in all their spare time?

Bethesda basically spared us from about 10K badly written NaNoWriMo attempts this year, I wager. 😉

Holly Pervocracy
13 years ago

Whatever, just stop saying things. They’re not clever, they’re not proving a point (it’s impossible to prove anything when you say random shit you don’t mean), they’re not educating, they’re not convincing, and they’re not even funny.

Just please stop making wordnoises.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
13 years ago

>>MY MIND IS SHROUDED IN DARKNESS AND I AM IN SUCH DESPAIR AAARRRGGGHHH…..

I thought earlier you said you weren’t emo?

David K. Meller
David K. Meller
13 years ago

One more reason to get good women married to men when they (the women) are still in their teens, or early twenties; any who can’t be safely married should be taken care of elsewhere, most likely in the houses of men’s entertainment and pleasure that I made reference to elsewhere.

That way, everything is voluntary and contractual, and there are no hard feelings about women who may have been intimate with another man earlier in life, before she meets her current beloved!

See how simple everything is!

Dracula
Dracula
13 years ago

See how simple everything is!

When you remove the human factor, sure. The rest of us live the real world, though.

Kyrie
Kyrie
13 years ago

“to get good women married” “should be taken care of elsewhere”
Who does that? What happens if the woman choose none of your two tiny life choice?

“everything is voluntary and contractual”
So slutty women can still live as they want? (I use a very broad definition of slutty her. It includes premarital sex and the absence of marriage)

darksidecat
darksidecat
13 years ago

Silly Dracula, in Mellerland women are not humans, they are porcelain dolls!

Whatever
Whatever
13 years ago

I play console rpgs for the plot.

It’s difficult to physically be in the same room with the sort of friends I have, since when these nerds rage (which they do all the time), the geek really does fly. I swear, after those morons nearly crashed out my HD when my laptop got knocked down during their last brawl, that’s the last time I’ll ever invite them over to my basem…of operations ever again.

Whatever
Whatever
13 years ago

“I thought earlier you said you weren’t emo?”

Dude, cut me some slack, I’m going through a crisis of faith here.

Dracula
Dracula
13 years ago

Silly Dracula, in Mellerland women are not humans, they are porcelain dolls!

Men aren’t either. They’re just subtle variations on the David K. Meller template.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
13 years ago

Yeah, DKM means like literally women should be put somewhere safe, as in behind glass in a locked display cabinet. And every one would come with paperwork certifying her as 100% Caucasian virgin. Because DKM’s approach to romance now is identical to his approach to Beanie Babies a decade ago. 😀

Holly Pervocracy
13 years ago

Every time DKM lays out his little plans for the universe, I imagine trying to disguise myself as male in his world. It might make for an interesting “The Handmaid’s Tale”-like fiction; a woman desperately maintaining her disguise to save herself from forced marriage or sexual slavery.

Not even so she can do something heroic or scandalous. Just so she can have a boring desk job and a boring little apartment and other normal-human things.

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