Manosphere dudes – MRAs, MGTOWers, PUAs and whatever other acronyms they will eventually invent – love to tell themselves little “just so” stories about women. One of their favorite stories is the story of the Bad Boy Cock Carousel.
The gist of it: Women in their twenties are at the height of their physical beauty. So they act like entitled bitches, sleeping with every Bad Boy and Alpha Asshole there is and ignoring the humble, honest, hardworking “nice guy” betas silently pining for them.
But once these mean girls hit the age of 27 or so, they suddenly become ugly monsters, and the bad boys stop returning their calls. So then the evil ladies try to glom on to the nearest beta male in an attempt to marry him and steal all of his money.
But the beta males don’t want none of that used-up pussy, and so they Go Their Own Way and everyone ends up forever alone. Or the guys learn “game” and start banging the hotties. Or they just go back to posting sammich jokes on Reddit. I think these are all supposed to be happy endings, because at least the evil bitches get their comeuppance.
Recently, someone posted a n especially creepy version of this Manosphere fairy tale in the comments here; it turned out to have been cut and pasted from a comment on Roissy/Heartiste’s “game” blog by a guy who calls himself PhillyBoy81. It’s long; I trimmed it a little for space.
“[A]lpha males” are doing all the rest of us a favor in the long run. They operate very much like short sellers in the dating market, exposing fraud and helping to discover the true prices of commodities (women).
Yep, we’re on the express train to Doucheytown.
Let’s take a 21-year old chick who’s between a 7/8 (cute to pretty. … She can pretty much get sex whenever she wants it and with whomever she wants to have it with. And that is ultimately her downfall.
Young women (and some older ones) have an overinflated sense of the value of their vaginas. I mean, they have Wharton MBAs paying for exotic trips and they’re drinking Cosmos in the VIP with the Wizards.
Apparently this is just how women in their early twenties live. Who knew?
Since they are able to get such easy access to “alpha” dick, it follows logically that they should also have access to “alpha” wealth, marriage, and the lifestyle that accompanies all of that, right?
Wrong. See, when women gain this enormous sense of pussy power, they swing for the fences. … So, the cute guy with a 3.8 GPA, but no car? Nope, not good enough. The nice-looking pre-med student? “Nah, I’ll just get back to him later. I heard Jude Law’s hotter brother is transferring here this semester.”
This had me worried for a second, but I looked it up: Jude Law does not have a “hotter brother,” or indeed a brother at all, which is good news for all straight men of equal or lesser hotness than Jude Law.
Anyway, back to the evil women:
They invariably end up overplaying their hand. They chase these players looking to get a ring, and then that ring never comes. So now they’re 27. It’s a good thing she kept that pre-med Johns Hopkins student in her back pocket just in case things didn’t work out with the player, right?
Wrong again. In a vacuum, women would have their way. Men beg for sex. Women decide whether to give it to them (and for most guys, they will not give it to you). But luckily, we don’t live in a vacuum. We live in the real world with social constraints, and there are two that work distinctly to a man’s advantage: reputation and age. …
Ladies don’t think … we won’t remember your bitchiness. And don’t think we won’t remember those guys who you ran behind like a cum bucket.
Hmm. I’m pretty sure the only place buckets are gifted with mobility is in old Disney cartoons.
We remember. And we punish.
When a man sleeps with 100 chicks, he’s a stud. When a woman sleeps with JUST ONE guy, that eliminates you as wifey material to ALL of his friends. …
Apparently penises have a sort of reverse-Midas Touch thing going on: every woman who touches one turns into a filthy, used-up slut.
The height of a woman’s value, in terms of her value as a long term partner, is around the age of 27. That is the praecipice. The older she gets, the more her singlehood gets scrutinized by men. Why the hell is she still single? Who’s cock has she been sucking all these years?
Clearly that is the first question every straight man should ask himself whenever he sees a single woman older than the age of 27. (Just make sure you don’t actually ask this question out loud; it doesn’t go over well.)
[L]et’s face it, what virile, successful bachelor wants to entertain a 29 or 30 year old as wifey potential. She’s going to want to become a baby factory right away and rip away the last vestiges of your freedom. I don’t think so. It’s now my time to swing for the fences and bang some of these 21 year olds that I couldn’t bang in college.
Hello creepy older dude lurking in the shadows at the frat party!
In conclusion, a woman’s value is really defined by the type of man who puts a ring on her finger, not the type of guy who will fuck her. It takes a lot of women a long time to understand this, and thus, they overplay their hand. If it wasn’t for the players dogging them out, these women would not get a sense of their true value and start to seek out men who fit within their price range.
It’s all about market equilibrium, yo! SCIENCE!
So that’s the story. It’s a stupid story. It’s not a true story. But it’s the story that manosphere dudes, like young children, want to hear over and over and over.
But I haven’t even gotten to the best part. Our pal MarkyMark, an excitable and somewhat addled Man Going His Own Way, reposted PhillyBoy81’s comment on his blog. In the comments there (as Man Boobz commenter Wetherby pointed out) we find this little gem:
A man is not being respected if the woman he is with has spent her youth, beauty and fertility on someone else.
Yep, that’s right. I’m just going to repeat that, because, wow.
A man is not being respected if the woman he is with has spent her youth, beauty and fertility on someone else.
All women older than 27 or so who date or marry men are disrespecting these men because … they are older than 27. Apparently women age out of spite. Maturation is misandry!
What, a man pontificating and theorising from a position of complete ignorance or minimal experience?! Surely that could never happen!! (* looks around shiftily *)
*goggle*
No. No, that’s not how it works.
I went to Catholic school and even I know better than that.
I have to assume that whatever’s comment about the vagina’s alleged penis-clinging powers is a joke.
Then again, at one point I believed that people having sex would regularly get stuck together like dogs. Of course, I was maybe 9 years old at the time.
Maybe whatever is 9 years old? That would explain a few things.
Bagelsan, it’s kinda victim-blamey as well as misandrist. There are people here who’ve been raped by men. I can’t speak for them, but I like to think I’d have erred on the side of not telling them “you should have just bitten his dick off.”
I’m going to assume that just got away from you for a minute there. I’m sure I’m not telling you anything you didn’t know.
Bagelsan’s comments are normally so hilarious that I can forgive him for the occasional fuck up. Joking about biting a guy’s dick off – even if the guy in question is a rapist – is precisely the sort of humour that MRAs claim we are being oversensitive about when the violence is turned about towards women.
In addition to kristinmh’s “No, that’s not how it works” qua vaginas clinging and moulding to penises, I’d attest that that’s not how the anal sphincter works either, having had extensive experience of being buttsecks’d by an ex who really enjoyed doing that with me. To quote the evil tvtropes website, YOU FAIL BIOLOGY 101 FOREVER.
“I thought you were going thorough razorblades and bandages”
I was never into that particular kink. I did date once a girl or two once or twice who cut themselves though.
“Excuse plot games like Azure Dreams? Absolutely. Take, say, Disgaea? Well, unless I’ve underestimated porn… XD”
Azure Dreams is indeed a modern classic, Hours upon hours did I spend on it way back in the day (both the psx and gbc versions) when I was si… simpler then. Regrettably though, I never did get as many girlfriends as the protagonist did.
“Funny, that sounds like something an ugly stupid guy would say.
Why don’t you agree with me like a hot smart man would?”
I see what you did there LOL
“Then again, at one point I believed that people having sex would regularly get stuck together like dogs. Of course, I was maybe 9 years old at the time. ”
Regrettably, the human penis doesn’t have the ability to form a knot like a dog’s tsk tsk tsk
*one wonders how whatever is able to say what the “feel” of a woman’s vagina is, based on watching porn.
I’m basing this partly on both firsthand experience and secondhand knowledge. Of course that was years ago, so my memory may be playing tricks on me. And I don’t think those other guys were lying to me, they certainly believed it. Oh, well…
Dude, you can’t ACCEPT facts because they are presented to you logically. Don’t you know the basics of trolling? 3/10, seriously, you’re worse at trolling than Brandon is.
Worst Troll EVAH!
Ozziemandy, you are just soooooo cute. You’re like the bratty little tomboy sister I never wanted. >P
In my family, we call Whatever’s condition “diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain.”
In my family, we call it “being a fucking dumbass.” We’re a bit more blunt than most.
Doyourownresearch: I’ve had people want to have sex with me, and I’ve had people write me fan mail, and let me tell you– one of these makes me feel far more powerful than the other. I know this is weird for someone who got zir start as a sexblogger and who still talks about sex a lot, but there are more important things in life than sex. My worth is not based on who finds me attractive.
That’s easy for you to say, something like 1/4-1/3 of your posts boil down to “I’m having all this crazy sex with all these people”.
It looks a little different when no one wants to have sex with you.
In which case, you take a long, hard look at yourself and ask yourself why no-one wants to have sex with you. And if you can come up with a genuinely honest answer, and take practical steps to remedy it, the chances are you’ll find that people do want to have sex with you.
The tricky part is admitting that it’s your problem, and that you alone can ultimately fix it. Which is why people often take the easy, if stupidly counterproductive, route of blaming everyone else but themselves.
Pterygorus: Really? I mostly keep my sex life out of NSWATM, I thought. And on my old blog, well, yes, it was a sex blog. Complaining that there is sex in it is like complaining that your pumpkin pie tastes remarkably of pumpkin.
I actually only have sex about two times a week… two of my partners don’t want to fuck me and the other two have lives. 😛 It’s terrible!
Wetherby
Comments like yours make me more and more certain that most people despite what they say really want a ruthless market economy, just as long as they are guaranteed that they themselves are on the winning side and the get to tell the people on the losing side that they get what they deserve.
In regards to your comment. Does this mean I get to tell obese fat positive female feminist complaining that she is not seen as sexually attractive that this is not due to what she claims, fat-hatred in society but rather the fact that she is obese and that if she dieted she would be a far way along.
And on a personal level, why care what these MGTOW say, feminists have been telling me for years that women can sense from miles away if a man is an asshole and thus stay away. Thus MGTOW and odd opinions about women shouldn’t be a problem since women should stay away from them.
Ozy: That’s twice as much as me. 😛
I can only see J. on the weekend and we both have lives so that usually ends up being one super awesome night of self-MST3King 2 or 3 terrible movies then sexy time until we drop from fatigue per week. I still live (and do the occasional sexy time) with my ex-monogamish partner of 7 years M. but she’s with this girl V. that comes over 6 out of 7 nights a week, and her sex drive is pretty much taken care of so we’re mostly cuddling buddies right now. Which is AWESOME, btw (PUA/MRA minds blown!).
I wouldn’t mind having more but right now it would mean cutting into Magic: The Gathering or Skyrim time, so that’s out the question. 😛
@Pterygotus, ozy said “My worth is not based on who finds me attractive,” and you said “That’s easy for you to say.” But your worth is not based on who finds you attractive either. It’s possible that you have problematic attitudes or behaviours that make potential partners want to stay away from you, and those attitudes and behaviours might have something to do with your value as a person. But lack of sex does not.
I’m going to agree and disagree with Wetherby here. There are very likely things you can change about yourself to become more attractive to potential sex partners/dates/romantic partners. But there also may be some things that are out of your control. Someone who was maimed in an accident, say, may have a tougher time finding interested persons than someone who hadn’t been, and obviously that’s not something they can change after the fact. The trick is recognizing that, while the situation is unfair, the people choosing not to have sex with that person are not to blame. Nobody is entitled to someone else’s body.
All this talk of pumpkin pie makes me really sad that Canadian thanksgiving has been and went :(. I love pumpkin pie.
@Viscaria: Why limit yourself to pumpkin pies only at a specific holiday time? They’re an autumn vegetable. Celebrate the autumn and the winter all year round with pumpkin pie!
Yes, that is a perfectly fair point – though it can be misused too, as demonstrated by MRAL’s claim that his height and his eye are putting people off, when it’s pretty clear that there are some other pretty fundamental reasons. Though his actions in the last 24 hours alone have led to a marked attitude shift, so there’s definitely hope in his case.
@ithiliana, you’re absolutely right; however it would take effort to make a pie, rather than just going to a party where someone else made a pie! So really my primary issue is incredible laziness.
@Wetherby, I agree with you 100% that people rely too heavily on “but it’s out of my control!!” when talking about why people won’t sleep with them, in order to avoid thinking about what is in their control. I worry more about the other thing MRAL does though, which is finish the sentence like this: “but it’s out of my control, so bitches are evil for not having sex with me despite it.”
@Viscaria: Ah, good point. The problem is social then–too many people think pumpkin pie only for a specific holiday instead of year round. Clearly, we need to start a moar pumpkin pie movement, though actually moar pies in general would be good.
I am blessed in that partner likes to make pies, though since becoming dept. head again, she’s had less time for baking.
Viscaria: there’s usually pumpkin pies in the freezer section of the grocery all year. Not quite the same as homemade, but if you’re lazy like me, it’s a godsend. I can’t bake for shit. Trying to make pie crust is my kryptonite.
@hellkell, I actually love to bake, and I’m somewhat known for my pies (if I do say so myself). Unfortunately depression has been sucking all of the drive out of me of late 🙁 including the drive to go to the grocery store. But maybe the fact that they have pies there will get me off of my butt today and will send me there! Which would be good, because I’m pretty sure my fridge has pasta sauce and pickles in it. And I don’t even have any pasta :P.
There are 2 tricks to a good pie crust, in my opinion. 1) Like any other baking, don’t overmix! And 2) run your hands under cold water before kneading it, and refrigerate it after kneading for at least 10 minutes before you roll. Getting your pie crust too warm is the best way to deflakify it. Technical term.