Over on The Spearhead, a fella name Towgunner offers up these observations on the young ladies of today. (I’ve broken his wall of text into shorter paragraphs.)
I’m beginning to notice a couple of odd trends amongst the younger females, which are quite surprising.
1. more and more women smell – BO, ass, a dog, a cat, stale, unwashed
2. many are losing their hair.
This generation of women is so cuddled and brainwashed that their complete messes. Even though their “demanding” “careers” do indeed keep them locked to their cubical/nest they’re new masters, TV (gays anatomy) tell them cleaning is beneath them. And after cycling class (more hamster running) they collapse in their studio or 1 br beehive condo…crap everywhere. …
FYI next time you’re in a CVS go check out the hair products section, note the number of “volumizers” available (for women of course), this is something new, they didn’t need this before.
I have also heard reports that they have cooties as well. Although I think I heard this when I was about five or six.
Last I checked, Towgunner’s comment had gotten 30 upvotes and only one downvote. Evidently there are stinky women everywhere!
“Gays anatomy”. Typo, or homophobia?
Also, I think the running hamster is supposed to be metaphorical, dude.
I can’t speak for everyone else in the feminazi matriarchy, but I’ve also stopped shaving my legs and filing down my demon horns.
Um. What?
Is it just me, or is “Women smell bad” really stretching it in terms of finding things to hate women for? It seems to be relatively equivalent to the “men are oppressed because they have to put down the toilet seat” schtick.
Stale? How can a person smell stale?
Now see, that’s just the kind of thoughtlessness that he’s talking about. Demon horns are hawt when they’re cute little nubs at your forehead, but when you get to a full-on Hellboy recurve, it’s just a turnoff.
I will admit it: as a member of the early 20-somethings, I am totally cuddled. I cuddle all the time. I cuddle like crazy with my boyfriend, last week my parents came into town and I had some mommy cuddles, I cuddle all sorts of animals like some sort of crazed stinky gay’s anatomy lover. I’m so sorry to be a part of the problem :(.
Isn’t “balding, hygienically-challenged slob” supposed to be what we say about men? It’s very hard to keep our gross generalizations straight these days.
Oh, the condo has crap everywhere; I thought at first he meant that women go home and start crapping everywhere. It honestly took me a reread to figure that out. :p
Sounds like he’s got mummy issues. 😀
If he’s referring to college aged girls, then it’s not just the women. The men stink, too. I commute in a campus town (Madison, WI). A portion of them simply do not shower before running off to class for the day. In warmer months, it makes the bus extremely FUNKY. But again, it’s a college student phenomenon that I’ve observed that crosses gender lines.
I’m also wondering how volumizers are a sign of women being dirty. Clean or not, some hair is just limp.
If anything, it’s a sign of what companies will develop in order to make money.
One thing that is interesting is that apparently this generation of men also stinks more than before. Body sprays, foaming lotions, about fifty thousand breath fresheners. In my day we washed our body with a bar of soap and chewed gum to make our breath smell good, and it worked just fine. Clearly the youth of today just have a more powerful stench than our generation.
According to our fair internets, volumizing mousse came out in the mid-80s. So I guess the beauty industry has been preparing for my generation’s gross limp hair since the first of us were being born. Now that is what I call being prepared.
Of course, if a woman does fit his ideal of beauty, he’s likely to complain that she pays too much attention to her looks.
Only effortless beauty is allowed!
About girls being stinky…
@ozymandias: That reminds me of a friend I had in high school who told me rather emphatically that girls shouldn’t wear makeup because “guys” (which is to say, him) prefer natural beauty, and all that makeup just shows how shallow you are anyway.
For now I’ll just ignore the incredible arrogance involved in a) assuming his tastes were everyone’s tastes and b) thinking girls should therefore adapt their grooming habits to meet his tastes. No, what’s interesting about it in the context of this conversation is that I quickly noticed that the only makeup he was aware of was brightly-coloured, obvious stuff. A little foundation to even out your skin tone? He had no idea. Some subtle eyeliner to make your eyes look bigger? He just figured you had big, gorgeous eyes. I saw how much he appreciated the “nice legs” of girls wearing nylons (another pet peeve of his) that were well-matched to their skin tone, even as he decried those that were obvious for “covering up her natural assets”.
I could only conclude that he wanted girls to look like movie stars, but refused to believe that they had any help.
Also, you MUST have a healthy appetite (eat manly things like MEAT and no girly shit like tofu and salad), but you CANNOT BE FAT.
Isn’t that easy? We should all look like hollywood stars, but without spending time or money on it, or at least pretend we don’t. Because everybody knows girls are all fluffy naturally, so unless we do something bad like having a job or be lazy, our inside supermodel will reveal herself. (although we should get a job, because there is no reason the men have to do all the money-earning. So, well paid part-time, I guess. And it’s should be dangerous or that mean we despite men. And we still need time for the baby-raising and the house-work. Fuck, let’s legalize polygamy, that’s the only way we can make it work)
This coming from a group of men who cherish their skid marks…
My hair has thinned over the last few years because of stress, and now that I know that it keeps people like Towgunner away from me, I am no longer as self-conscious about it 🙂
Heh – it’s up to 40 upvotes and counting.
I doubt it’s just women. I knew two guys who had BO so bad they left scent trails. It was especially bad backstage.
Personal hygiene is for everybody.
jeeze…what a poopy head.
I lol-ed at the comment about volumizers. Like its some strange, foreign product designed to improve women’s looks. Whoever heard of that?!
@Matthew Cline
the beginning of that Yugioh Abridged was hilarious!!! 😀
Why is this asshole prowling the “girly” shampoos at the CVS? This makes me laugh–those products have been around for years, and if he had a clue, he’d realize that volumized, “bed-head” hair is kind of a thing now anyway.
The volumizers have fuckall to do with hair loss anyway.
If he wants to catch a whiff of some stank dudes, might I suggest DT ATX in July? Hell, everybody’s kind of ripe in TX heat.