A lot of guys who try online dating (of the heterosexual kind) complain that they send out message after message to the ladies and get no responses. Now, I’m no dating expert, but I would like to offer these gentlemen a piece of advice that I feel could dramatically improve their chances. Here it is:
If the message you are sending the lass you fancy would get upvotes on The Spearhead, do not send it.
This seems like a fairly self-evident point, but it’s one that a lot of guys don’t seem to understand, at least judging from some of the awful online come-ons posted at the always fabulous A(n)nals of Online Dating. Take this fella:
[M]en have an obligation to rescue kittens from burning buildings, pay for your drinks, hold the door open for you, keep their hair neat, go to war and many other things. I’m just saying… Society worldwide really does put more obligations on men than women all around. There are few things women have to do… Shaving your legs is one of them.
I’m not sure how exactly this topic came up in conversation, but I’m pretty sure that Mr. Mammoth-Hunting Kitten-Rescuing Door-Holder-Opener and Lady Who Doesn’t Shave Her Legs are probably not a match made in Internet heaven.
This guy’s strategy is also somewhat problematic:
A so-cal Brooklyn transplant who believes in grammar, manners, music, and humor. I’m nice to my mother, always smile at dogs and babies, and am in the process of pleading that statutory rape charge down to a misdemeanor.
Yeah, it’s probably not a good idea to open with a joke about raping underage girls. Assuming it is a joke.
This message would be a bad idea regardless of gender:
RON PAUL REVOLUTION!! GIVE US BACK OUR CONSTITUTION!!!! lol sorry
Sorry indeed.
This next fellow is a bit of a Stealth Misogynist, in that he starts out with some actual compliments directed toward an actual women. Really creepy compliments, but complements nonetheless. Then we get a plot twist that’s about as shocking as the big reveal in M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village. Which is to say, so obvious that it could probably be spotted from space.
When I look at you I see very happy, fun loving, sexy, good girl. I love looking through your photos, I only wish there were more. Do you enjoy being obedient to the male figures in your life?
David K. Meller, is that you?
FactFinder said:
“We don’t try to be dangerous, Sharculese. Threats and personal attacks are more of a feminist thing.”
You have got to be kidding. Have you actually been here over the last week? I guess the women who posted to #mencallmethings were making it all up, right? I don’t think so.
Did… did you really just say all interpretations, no matter how bizarre, are completely valid and you should stand behind them?
Are you aware that there is a discussion as to the nature of your possible personality disorder and/or mental illness based on your own words going on this very thread?
DID YOU JUST CONFESS TO ACTUALLY HAVING A PROBLEM? BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU JUST DID, RIGHT THERE. I FUCKING SAW IT. Yet you will deny having a disorder AND being a woman-hating fucknut, even though those are both interpretations of your words.
It’s like dividing by zero. Or that riddle where you meet two people, one that always lies and one that tells the truth, and they BOTH say they lie…
Ah, the dubious disclaimer. I remember several conversations I had with feminists where they called me “gay.” When I observe they might be somewhat homophobic, they always make up a story about how they have gay friends and how I just must be a closeted homosexual for questioning feminism. So I guess what you’re trying to say is that you associate with programmers, but you would not hesitate to throw them under a bus if it served your dogma. Because that’s what I’m reading from that textbook dubious disclaimer.
It’s not Rutee’s fault that your reading comprehension is poor, FactFinder.
So now you’re a comedian?
I don’t know, what does the picture on my website say?
Shar, if this is so cut-and-dry, how did we shoot it down? You did not answer that.
because… its really cut-and-dry. seriously thats the explanation. a line was proposed in a draft of a bill. not even a controversial bill, a ‘cut-and-dry’ re-authorization bill that everyone knows is going to pass. nobody who does this for a living has time to argue every time it happens.
Dude, they have groused with me on some of the more obvious manifestations of misogyny in tech culture. If it’s throwing programmers under the bus to say “No, seriously, that kind of shit is misogynist”, well, I think we’ll all deal.
I’m not sure how “changed minor wording in a bill but failed to prevent the bill from passing” represents “shooting it down”, when the people in question’s actual goal was to eliminate the bill completely.
So now you’re a comedian?
honestly,factfinders gotcha word-games are so weird and obtuse that sometimes i worry if theyre actually brilliant on a level i dont understand. his train of thought changes direction like half the time ive got no clue how to respond.
then i remember everything else he says and i conclude hes actually just that dense.
FF, the picture says “find the difference” but I have no idea what that means because the picture is too small to see who the people in the picture are.
Communication does not seem to be your strong point.
Does he want people to go over there and play some sort of MRA version of Where’s Waldo?
Blockquote fail. Probably a sign to go to bed. Night people.
FactFinder says:
“If you cannot stand behind every interpretation of your words, perhaps you should be more careful about what you say. You never know when they will be posted somewhere for all of the world to see.”
Hahaha…if we had been less inundated with stupid, I’d say that was the daftest comment made today. So any dubious interpretation of any remark is acceptable, regardless of the OP’s intention? Deliberate misinterpretation and the twisting of words is fine because any interpretation is valid?
Now FactFinder is officially creeping me out.
I went back and looked at some of his oldest comments here and noticed that before he set up his livejournal page, he used to link to his deviantArt profile:
http://peririck.deviantart.com/
Check out the 3D gaming project he claims to be working on, something called “”Preggo Punchout”
Also, at one point he linked to this video featuring a guy (evidently not him) who held his own one-man protest march for lowering the age of consent to 14.
I’m not quite sure how to “interpret” all this. But I won’t ask FF what he meant, because apparently any possible interpretation I can give it would be correct, at least according to FF’s previous comment on the subject of interpretation.
My interpretation is that we can file FF and Whatever under “same category of person, slightly different manifestation”.
Of course the combination of trying to make a game wherein you beat up pregnant women and claims that feminists are the hateful violent ones could be some form of satire, but he doesn’t strike me as smart enough for that.
Just popping in to say that I’m doing database engineering at work right now, except when I’m administering the network.
SHUN THE TECHIE…oh wait, you’re not horrible so we like you. Carry on, then.
The mention of luddites on the Internet made me google “Amish.” This site certainly looks like it was designed by someone who’d never used a computer.
Please tell me that Mr let’s pretend to punch pregnant ladies is anti-abortion, just for the extra irony points.
OK, that site hurts my eyes. Might be worth looking at the recipe section, though.
Also, hasTerry Pratchett been naming towns in PA?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intercourse,_Pennsylvania
He used their talking points in asking why feminists called that misogyny and then stated he ‘didn’t believe in feminist dogma’, so…
@sarugoku
So this was a minor adjustment to a draft protocol for campus police, and not some huge victory over an unjust system?
thats basically it, yes.