A lot of guys who try online dating (of the heterosexual kind) complain that they send out message after message to the ladies and get no responses. Now, I’m no dating expert, but I would like to offer these gentlemen a piece of advice that I feel could dramatically improve their chances. Here it is:
If the message you are sending the lass you fancy would get upvotes on The Spearhead, do not send it.
This seems like a fairly self-evident point, but it’s one that a lot of guys don’t seem to understand, at least judging from some of the awful online come-ons posted at the always fabulous A(n)nals of Online Dating. Take this fella:
[M]en have an obligation to rescue kittens from burning buildings, pay for your drinks, hold the door open for you, keep their hair neat, go to war and many other things. I’m just saying… Society worldwide really does put more obligations on men than women all around. There are few things women have to do… Shaving your legs is one of them.
I’m not sure how exactly this topic came up in conversation, but I’m pretty sure that Mr. Mammoth-Hunting Kitten-Rescuing Door-Holder-Opener and Lady Who Doesn’t Shave Her Legs are probably not a match made in Internet heaven.
This guy’s strategy is also somewhat problematic:
A so-cal Brooklyn transplant who believes in grammar, manners, music, and humor. I’m nice to my mother, always smile at dogs and babies, and am in the process of pleading that statutory rape charge down to a misdemeanor.
Yeah, it’s probably not a good idea to open with a joke about raping underage girls. Assuming it is a joke.
This message would be a bad idea regardless of gender:
RON PAUL REVOLUTION!! GIVE US BACK OUR CONSTITUTION!!!! lol sorry
Sorry indeed.
This next fellow is a bit of a Stealth Misogynist, in that he starts out with some actual compliments directed toward an actual women. Really creepy compliments, but complements nonetheless. Then we get a plot twist that’s about as shocking as the big reveal in M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village. Which is to say, so obvious that it could probably be spotted from space.
When I look at you I see very happy, fun loving, sexy, good girl. I love looking through your photos, I only wish there were more. Do you enjoy being obedient to the male figures in your life?
David K. Meller, is that you?
Well dang, NWOslave has found our one weakness! Not being able to remember what happened in a conversation that happened a day ago, and therefore being able to rewrite history to his own satisfaction.
@CassandraSays
“I know that I shouldn’t, because I don’t want to contribute to the stigma faced by people with mental illnesses, but sometimes it’s really tempting to play “which specific personality disorder does NWO suffer from”.
Well I can tell ya one disorder I don’t suffer from. That’d be making a happy, happy video depicting shooting a man/woman in the head while laughing hysterically. Using tax dollars and promoting it in schools as art. No MRA ever has. Can feminists say the same?
Making shitty videos while at university is a personality disorder? How fascinating. I’ll look out for that in the next edition of the DSM.
….
i did expect it to take at least a page though. congrats, owlslave, i guess.
Maybe the milking machine broke down and he was busy.
Hey! Didn’t one of you brainy folks yammer about how a hate ideology could indocrinate a disgruntled person into being a vile, violent piece of filth? Yup, ya sure did.
In the past few months, just off the top of my head, we’ve had;
Feminists laughing as a man has his genitals sliced off.
A woman serves no time for raping little boys due to the all new, “low self esteem defense.”
A barely defeated bill where men would be guilty by default. (I’ll take a bow for all my efforts on that one).
A man immolating themselves.
A man swinging from a bridge.
Women are given spa treatment in california instead of prison.
We’ve got the sweet SCUM monologues.
It’s like 10 times a day and 20 times on sundays.
I wonder what the result of all that indoctrinated hatred will be?
You know, I don’t think there is one part of NWO’s list that is actually correct. The closest he came was “A man immolating themselves,” but the grammar failed. It’s amusing for its WTFery, but otherwise just more dull ranting and misrepresentation…
I know that I shouldn’t, because I don’t want to contribute to the stigma faced by people with mental illnesses, but sometimes it’s really tempting to play “which specific personality disorder does NWO suffer from”.
i hate internet diagnoses a ton, so all im comfortable saying is that i have a sister with very severe borderline personality disorder and the internal logic of a series of NWO posts is startlingly like having a conversation with her.
If NWO ever goes to jail (as he so fears) it won’t be because some evil woman accused him of rape or DV. It will be for crimes against the English language.
Hey NWO, it just so happens that I have a copy of VAWA right in front of me. It says:
SEC. 103. LEGAL ASSISTANCE FOR VICTIMS IMPROVEMENTS.
Section 1201 of the Violence Against Women Act of 2000 (42 U.S.C. 3796gg-6) is amended–
(1) in subsection (a), by–
(A) inserting before `legal assistance’ the following: `civil and criminal’;
(B) inserting after `effective aid to’ the following: `adult and youth’; and
(C) inserting at the end the following: `Criminal legal assistance provided for under this section shall be limited to criminal matters relating to domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence, and stalking.’;
(2) by striking subsection (b) and inserting the following:
(b) Definitions- In this section, the definitions provided in section 40002 of the Violence Against Women Act of 1994 shall apply.’;
(3) in subsection (c), by inserting `and tribal organizations, territorial organizations’ after `Indian tribal governments’;
(4) in subsection (d) by striking paragraph (2) and inserting the following:
(2) any training program conducted in satisfaction of the requirement of paragraph (1) has been or will be developed with input from and in collaboration with a tribal, State, territorial, or local domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault or stalking organization or coalition, as well as appropriate tribal, State, territorial, and local law enforcement officials;’.
(5) in subsection (e), by inserting `dating violence,’ after `domestic violence,’; and
(6) in subsection (f)–
(A) by striking paragraph (1) and inserting the following:
(1) IN GENERAL- There is authorized to be appropriated to carry out this section $65,000,000 for each of fiscal years 2007 through 2011.’; and
(B) in paragraph (2)(A), by–
(i) striking `5 percent’ and inserting `10 percent’; and
(ii) inserting `adult and youth’ after `that assist’.
I don’t see anything there about granting legal assistance to accusers. I do see legal assistance for VICTIMS though. One would think they’d have to prove that the victims are indeed victims and not just accusers. Nice how you think twisting words around will trick people.
http://www.govtrack.us/congress/billtext.xpd?bill=h109-3402
Hey NWO, are you also familiar with horror flicks? specifically the ultra sadistic torture porn genre of horror flicks? For one vulgar and stupid student film done by students there are 100 more of women being brutally being tortured and sometimes raped in the torture porn genre. If you watch horror movies at all you’ll also notice that its the female characters that get the worst of it most of the time.
People eat those films up. What does that say about our culture?
Omg, i was the person who received that ron paul message and submitted it! There’s more of a story here, if anyone wants it. Rofl, did not expect to see that when i decided to check out man boobs today.
Let me quote part of the Miranda Warning, which is required to be read to every accused criminal upon arrest:
“You have the right to an attorney (now or at any point during questioning-this bit varies). If you cannot afford an attorney, you will be appointed one at the state’s expense”
Every criminal defendent in the US has the right to an attorney, under the Fifth Amendment of the US Constitution. If you are arrested for a crime, NWO, the government will ensure you can have an attorney.
The issue of a right to attorney in civil matters is a bit more complex and less of a settled question, but you have right to due notice in regards to certain procedural matters as an unrepresented party, at the very least.
That’s part of why I responded the way I did to Wisteria’s plea for kindness towards him, Sharculese. My degree is in psychology, and every time I see NWOs comments my spidey senses are telling me that he’s somewhere on the index of major personality disorders. That’s not something that you can fix by offering someone cuddles and support via blog comments.
Oh, all right, he’s going to keep posting stuff until I share…
The Book of Learnin’
Indispensable Facts About the Universe from NWO
Special Edition for Vile Haters
Science
Evolution is impossible, because otherwise we’d be able to watch dogs evolve into super-dogs. Unless anyone can produce evidence of dogs with super-powers, evolution is a myth.
The theory of evolution claims that life came from rocks. It also states that evolution doesn’t occur anymore because rocks are no longer in make-life mode.
The theory of evolution is the same as the Big Bang theory, which is also impossible.
In the animal kingdom, females entice males with their spectacular plumage and elaborate mating displays.
Female animals cannot feed themselves and rely on males to support them. Even in cases where this seems untrue, the males are still tougher. For example, female lions do all the hunting in the pride, but if they come across a really tough enemy, like a hyena, they run and get the male lion to fight for them.
Mathematics
Feminists claim that one in four women is raped in college. But since college lasts for four years, you have to multiply that by four. Therefore, feminists are really saying that 100% of women are raped in college, which is obviously untrue, not to mention proof that women are bad at math.
There are only three percentages in statistics: 0%, 99%, and 100%. In statistical analysis, all numbers should be rounded to one of these three. COROLLARY: If people notice this and start suggesting that you’re just making your statistics up, it is mathematically acceptable to add some other really high numbers at random.
“Zero-sum game” is a fancy term for a game that ends in a tie.
Medicine
Children are lined up and injected with a dangerous chemical called flouride to make them stupid.
Mammograms cause breast cancer. Doctors advise women to get mammograms at least once a week until they develop cancer from it.
Many hospitals are open only to women and children. They’re not maternity/pediatric hospitals, just regular hospitals run by people who refuse to treat men for no reason.
Male suicide is caused by society trying to feminize men, which makes them so depressed they kill themselves. Before modern feminism, suicide was practically non-existent.
After an abortion, the fetus is chopped into pieces and thrown into the nearest river or lake to feed the fish.
If the FDA worked, we’d have cures for cancer, diabetes, and every disease and ailment. Since we don’t, it’s not doing anything useful and should be abolished.
Education
Reading is not taught in American public schools.
Public schools offer two kinds of math: traditional arithmetic and New Math. Children are allowed to choose which one to learn.
Before feminism, male children were not required to do homework or pay attention in class. Homework and paying attention were invented in the 1970s to get boys in trouble.
How-to courses on homosexuality are taught in public schools. This is how people become gay.
Men are not permitted to work as teachers in the U.S.
The University of Cincinnati and all University of California schools have gotten rid of their engineering and computer science departments and replaced them with women’s studies and gender studies.
Thanks to the power of Title IX (see Law), all but two colleges in the U.S. are assembling organized Sex Police Forces made up of female students and faculty. There are plans to extend this program to grade schools.
History
Ancient Greece, Rome, Persia, and China under the Ming Dynasty were extremely progressive, feminist societies. That’s why they collapsed.
Before modern feminism, rape was a rare occurrence and almost unheard-of.
All wars in history were started by women nagging their husbands to invade other countries to get pretty dresses.
The Americas were discovered by Queen Isabella, who ordered every man in Europe to sail westward to get exotic jewels, perfumes and silks for her. It was a stroke of luck that Columbus found land before the entire male population of Europe perished in a watery grave.
Lynchings in the American South consisted of women accusing men of rape because they were man-hating feminists. Race had nothing to do with it; it was just as easy for a black woman to get a white man lynched as vice versa. In cases where the man was lynched on an accusation from another man, the lynchings were justified.
In 1919, women took control of all levels of government and law enforcement. Since then, every law in the U.S. has been written and enacted by women. There have been no male politicians, judges, or police officers for over 90 years.
The CIA imported feminism from the Soviet Union by publishing Ms. magazine and Miss Mag and channeling funds to a woman named Gloria Steinen.
Any history text written after the early 1500s is an unreliable source.
Linguistics
The word “suffrage” is derived from the verb “to suffer,” because voting is hard.
Spanish and Russian use the same alphabet. The Russians just have a funny kind of handwriting called cryillic script.
Arts and Literature
The Iliad is the story of how Queen Helen of Troy ordered two armies to fight over her. It is based on a true story.
The classical Greek play The Bacchae is a celebration of the roving lesbian gang that murdered the musician Orpheus. It is based on a true story.
The musical Chicago is a polemic about how men should be shot to death. It was written by a female college student last year.
Fashion
Most girls and women over the age of twelve wear see-through tops and micro-miniskirts on all occasions. Although their skirts are so short their genitals hang out, they do not wear underwear.
Women only dress to attract men—all men. If a woman leaves the house in clothes, she wants to have sex with any man she meets. Men, on the other hand, never dress to look attractive.
Law
All U.S. law, from the Constitution down, has been supplanted by the extremely powerful Title IX, a law requiring that all educational, government, and private institutions be 100% female. Title IX has its own police force, which is exactly like the Nazi SS. This takeover of the government was orchestrated by Russlynn Ali, Assistant Secretary for Civil Rights in the U.S. Department of Education, who now rules the U.S. as supreme dictator.
Laws are made by a panel of unelected advisors, who commission an independent legal review. Once the review is published anywhere, it becomes a law.
If the names on a contract are in all caps, those people are legally corporations. If they’re in mixed case, the contract is invalid.
Requiring people to take a vision test to get a driver’s license is an atrocity on the level of the Holocaust, Pol Pot’s genocide, and the famous Communist massacre of Christians.
The United States is a communist dictatorship. If it were a free country, people wouldn’t have to pay taxes or get licenses to drive.
Crime
False reporting of rape is the most serious and common crime in the U.S. The most common reasons for a woman to make up a rape accusation are cheating, revenge, excuse for missed homework, lateness, work absence, and attention-getting.
The average man is falsely accused of rape and thrown into prison without trial on a daily basis. Available statistics say otherwise because the true numbers are kept under wraps by the CIA.
Economics
All financial crises are caused by the Federal Reserve, which is run by the Rothchild family.
All the real-estate speculators who caused the housing bubble were women.
Maternity/paternity leave is the single biggest drain on the economy. If companies got rid of parental leave, it would create enough wealth that all women would be able to quit their jobs and be full-time mothers, like they’re supposed to.
There are no poor women. Whenever a woman needs anything, she sits in the middle of the street and cries, and passerby throw food and money at her for free.
Women control 80% of the world’s wealth, thanks to all the crying.
For every dollar women donate to charities to help men, men donate ten billion dollars to help women.
Business
Because of Title IX (see Law), all businesses with government contracts are required to hire only women to meet gender quotas.
The only businesses owned or run by women are nonprofit organizations dedicated to hurting men.
Government
Everyone takes orders from the U.N. and the Jews.
Without government, homosexuality would not exist.
Foreign Relations
In war, women act as “cheerleaders” for both sides at once, goading otherwise peaceful men to fight. These women have no political goals or opinions; they just like watching men die.
Russia is the “deathplace capital of the world” for men because feminism was invented there (see Feminism). It is the most feminist country on earth.
All taxes in Scandinavian countries go toward women’s causes. Scandinavian grade schools have a holiday where girls are given cookies and ice cream, while boys are given stale matzo. Men in Scandinavian countries are imprisoned for farting.
Portugal and Spain are populated mostly by brown people.
Judaism is a nationality.
Marriage and Family
Somewhere in the U.S. is a place called The Ghetto, where between 70% and 99% of households consist of unemployed single mothers living entirely off welfare. Also, everyone in The Ghetto is black. Sociologists are still struggling to determine why women in The Ghetto don’t support themselves as other women do, by sitting in the street and crying until people throw stuff at them (see Economics).
99% of feminist marriages end in divorce.
The vast majority of violent rapists come from female-led households, because the feminist indoctrination boys receive in such households makes them so angry they have to go out and rape people to let off steam.
When you get married, the government owns you through your marriage contract. This is why the government can make divorced people pay alimony and/or child support.
Fatherhood is illegal in Britain and there are plans to outlaw it in the U.S. soon.
Religion
Judaism is the most aggressively evangelical religion on earth. Less than 5% of Jews are ethnically Jewish, while the rest are recruited from the tireless Jewish recruitment efforts.
Catholics worship the Virgin Mary.
In the story of Jesus saving the adulteress from stoning, the moral is that adulteresses deserve to be stoned.
Pedophilia
All child molesters are either women or gay men. Straight men never molest girls.
Prepubescent girls desperately want to have sex with middle-aged milking-machine technicians. They advertise this desire by wearing swimsuits to the beach.
Feminism
Feminism is a highly organized international movement created in the Soviet Union and currently funded by the United Nations.
Phyllis Schlafly has worked tirelessly throughout her life to promote feminist causes.
Predictions of the Future
Someday a straight white man will beat up a lesbian for molesting a five-year-old. Everyone in the world will sympathize with the lesbian and immediately legalize child molestation.
In 100 years, white people will have gone extinct because white women didn’t reproduce enough. Archeologists discovering the remains of Western culture will laugh at us for letting women have rights.
That’s not something that you can fix by offering someone cuddles and support via blog comments.
*sigh* ive spent enough phone conversations trying to talk my sister down when she was absolutely convinced our parents were conspiring to make her look crazy to appreciate that.
A computer programmer that hasn’t yet realized he’s basically nothing more than a modern day prole on an assembly line is either stupid or fresh out of college. I wonder if machine lathe operators were this unsufferably smug back in the early 20th century just because they had a somewhat rare skillset that made them temporarily more valuable to the owners up till they finally automated their job away?
Right now my ex is the chosen one in terms of his family who his mother talks to about how both of his brothers are conspiring against her (she’s borderline). It used to be her sister, but the sister disagreed with her about the kids being out to get her, so now she’s officially evil too.
I really do feel for my ex on this. For whatever odd reason his mother quite likes me, so sometimes I step in to take the pressure off of him, because she’s exhausting, but I’m only willing to do that because I love him. There’s no way in hell that I’m even trying to engage in that way with a stranger on the internet.
LOL @ The Big Book of Learnin’ I’m trying to imagine what the graphics might look like for it. A bunch of clipart or istock photos of angry looking women and black helicopters probably.
Does anyone else get really ticked off at how he twists words around? it especially did when he said accusers get assistance when the bill clearly says victims. Which implies they are actually, you know, victims of a crime and not just accusers. This is the way MRAs trick people. Its not even a gender specific bill, men are not excluded as victims. Its just the title that’s misleading.
Ticked off at NWO? No, because he’s obviously a dumbass.
Actually though, if I were to speculate about personality disorders in the MRM, this is the one that I’d guess may be fairly common.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoid_personality_disorder
I never said I was an “IT guy,” I just said I compile programs. It’s fascinating, though, that I imbued a shitstorm of anti-technology sentiment just because I demonstrated a passing knowledge of computer science. This is why we hate your dogma, really hate it. You are an obstacle to science and an obstacle to progress and we have learned that from nothing more than our experiences with feminists like yourselves.
katz: true. but there are more like him which still kinda disturbs me :/
Cassandra: wow that’s completely accurate. I’d throw in some narcissistic personality disorder in there too.
Oh, paranoia. You mean like patriarchy theory?
Um…what? no one said anything about anti-technology, just some of the people’s attitudes who work in IT. Also how can we hate technology if we’re all posting on the internet, and often too?
Its funny how according to you, feminists are an obstacle to progress, when feminism is the reason that the antiquated idea of women being inferior is not the norm anymore. Science has also debunked all those theories of supposed female inferiority plenty of times over too.