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douchebaggery idiocy kitties misogyny patriarchy pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles rape reactionary bullshit the spearhead we hunted the mammoth

Men Who Hate Women and the Women They Try to Date: Another visit to the Annals of Online Dating

What is this fucking shit?

A lot of guys who try online dating (of the heterosexual kind) complain that they send out message after message to the ladies and get no responses. Now, I’m no dating expert, but I would like to offer these gentlemen a piece of advice that I feel could dramatically improve their chances. Here it is:

If the message you are sending the lass you fancy would get upvotes on The Spearhead, do not send it.

This seems like a fairly self-evident point, but it’s one that a lot of guys don’t seem to understand, at least judging from some of the awful online come-ons posted at the always fabulous A(n)nals of Online Dating. Take this fella:

 [M]en have an obligation to rescue kittens from burning buildings, pay for your drinks, hold the door open for you, keep their hair neat, go to war and many other things. I’m just saying… Society worldwide really does put more obligations on men than women all around. There are few things women have to do… Shaving your legs is one of them.

I’m not sure how exactly this topic came up in conversation, but I’m pretty sure that Mr. Mammoth-Hunting Kitten-Rescuing Door-Holder-Opener and Lady Who Doesn’t Shave Her Legs are probably not a match made in Internet heaven.

This guy’s strategy is also somewhat problematic:

A so-cal Brooklyn transplant who believes in grammar, manners, music, and humor. I’m nice to my mother, always smile at dogs and babies, and am in the process of pleading that statutory rape charge down to a misdemeanor.

Yeah, it’s probably not a good idea to open with a joke about raping underage girls. Assuming it is a joke.

This message would be a bad idea regardless of gender:

RON PAUL REVOLUTION!! GIVE US BACK OUR CONSTITUTION!!!! lol sorry

Sorry indeed.

This next fellow is a bit of a Stealth Misogynist, in that he starts out with some actual compliments directed toward an actual women. Really creepy compliments, but complements nonetheless. Then we get a plot twist that’s about as shocking as the big reveal in M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village. Which is to say, so obvious that it could probably be spotted from space.

When I look at you I see very happy, fun loving, sexy, good girl. I love looking through your photos, I only wish there were more. Do you enjoy being obedient to the male figures in your life?

David K. Meller, is that you?

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Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

“dimensionally challenged” Yes, that’s a odd choice to go PC seing the whole goal of the game seems to be offensive. And honestly, “fat” sounds way better than “dimensionally challenged” to me. Maybe because I’ve never heard of dimensionally challenge acceptance, or someone saying he finds dimensionally challenged people sexy.

So, where is anti-pc police when you need it? 🙂

factfinder
9 years ago

So because I linked to a troll site I take it seriously?

Naira
Naira
9 years ago

Of course! Aren’t you responsible for any possible interpretation of what you say?

Molly Ren
9 years ago

“OK, after all the racism and general disgustingness of the concept, he’s going to tiptoe around calling someone fat? What the fuck.”

Here I was thinking “dimensionally challenged” meant they were 2D, like in Flatland.

Orion
Orion
9 years ago

I assumed “dimensionally challenged” meant “short”

Hershele Ostropoler
9 years ago

Slavey (or anyone): what is the specific language in whatever bill you’re talking about that would have stripped men of presumption of innocence? I doubt it says that, but this is an empirical claim, subject to verification or refutation (as the case may be) by things in the world. So show me the thing in the world that varifies the claim; I’m willing to evaluate it with an open mind.

Quackers:

Does anyone else get really ticked off at how he twists words around?

I only really get annoyed when they twist their own words.

FactFinder:

If you cannot stand behind every interpretation of your words, perhaps you should be more careful about what you say.

So you are in favor of prejudice. It’s an interpretation of your words, so you stand behind it.

FactFinder is in favor of prejudice.

FactFinder:

I remember several conversations I had with feminists where they called me “gay.”

Who were these feminists? How do you know they were feminists? Did they generally express views in accordance with mainstream feminism? When and under what circumstances did you have these conversations (roughly)? What does that have to do with the behavior of people on Manboobz?

Naira
Naira
9 years ago

I thought “dimensionally challenged” could mean fat or short, but the first thing that came to mind was someone so thin, to the point of starving to death.

I have dimensions: boobs and hips. Ergo: not dimensionally challenged.

Either way, “dimensionally challenged” and “sensitively rendered” is both sad and hilarious in conjunction with the image of super-African powers that turn you into an ape.

Because “fat” is so much more insulting than “sub-human, ravaging beast.”

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

What ever our interpretations are, FF is responsible for all of them!

Wetherby
Wetherby
9 years ago

I assumed “dimensionally challenged” meant “short”

I’d say “flat”.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

You know, there’s a phrase for what FactFinder is threatening us with when he says anything we say can be plucked out and plastered somewhere for everyone (for small definitions of everyone) can see. It’s called “quote-mining.” In this very paragraph, you could pluck out the phrase “FactFinder is threatening us,” and it would seem as though I were being paranoid.

See, the way philosophy works is that you try to be as generous to your opponents as possible, then countering that argument. What you don’t do is try to take the most ridiculous interpretation and then proclaim how ridiculous it is, that would be making a straw-person. Saying that you are responsible for all interpretations of your words… The phrase “I like kittens” could be interpreted as a hatred of puppies!

FactFinder needs a new handle… Facts just ain’t what he deals with.

darksidecat
9 years ago

FactFinder needs a new handle… Facts just ain’t what he deals with.

In the alternative, perhaps he finds out where the facts are so he can keep as far away from them as possible. They are his primary weakness, after all. Not knowing where the facts are for him would be like the Wicked Witch of the West going out sans umbrella without checking the forecast for rain.

blitzgal
9 years ago

what is the specific language in whatever bill you’re talking about that would have stripped men of presumption of innocence? I doubt it says that, but this is an empirical claim, subject to verification or refutation (as the case may be) by things in the world. So show me the thing in the world that varifies the claim; I’m willing to evaluate it with an open mind.

They wanted to reduce the evidentiary requirements from “clear and convincing” to “a preponderance” (or 51%) in colleges and universities for allegations of sexual violence or harassment. Men’s rights groups claim that this eliminates every male college student’s right to due process, and furthermore that it automatically makes every male college student an accused rapist.

Of course, the main issue these men’s rights groups is ignoring is that we’re not talking about criminal court here. We’re talking about administrative hearings regarding disciplinary actions and/or suspension or dismissal from the school. And the “preponderance” standard fall in line with evidentiary requirements in civil court, where the threshold is much lower than it is for criminal court.

However, I doubt this “win” by the men’s rights morons is going to change anything for women in practical terms, because most of the time the school doesn’t kick out or discipline accused rapists/harassers anyway. In the vast majority of these allegations, the school shrugs, says, “He said/she said,” and that’s the end of it. They already have the superiority that they claim to have won by having this amendment removed.

blitzgal
9 years ago

Sorry, the bill in question is VAWA, which is up for reauthorization. Note that the bill itself is going to be reauthorized and continues to be the law of the land. The only “win” by the MRA is specifically regarding allegations of sexual violence in colleges and the administrative hearings that come out of those allegations.

blitzgal
9 years ago

And, before the mouth-breathers come back to accuse me of making stuff up when I say that most of the time the accused do not face any consequences:

http://www.publicintegrity.org/investigations/campus_assault/articles/entry/1945/

Additional data suggests that, on many campuses, abusive students face little more than slaps on the wrist. The Center has examined what is apparently the only database on sexual assault proceedings at institutions of higher education nationwide. Maintained by the U.S. Justice Department’s Office on Violence Against Women, it includes information on about 130 colleges and universities receiving federal funds to combat sexual violence from 2003-2008, the most recent year available. Though limited in scope, the database offers a window into sanctioning by school administrations. It shows that colleges seldom expel men who are found “responsible” for sexual assault; indeed, these schools permanently kicked out only 10 to 25 percent of such students.

That’s right; 75% of the people who are found responsible for the assault by the school aren’t even kicked out.

KathleenB
KathleenB
9 years ago

A polite request, FF. Could you please, please, please at least put the name of the person you’re replying to before the reply? Just addressing your replies to the peanut gallery is rude. And confusing. At the same time.

Pecunium
9 years ago

FF: Again with the “you’re dumb” nonsense? So do you really want to compare how much society values my work compared to yours? Because that’s a more generalized measure of intelligence than schoolyard insults. I have a feeling you won’t win on that one either.

How is this comparison to be measured? Really. How many seminars have you (as FactFinder) been invited to speak at, on the subject of the lies of feminism?

How many people have attended those seminars?

What’s your web-traffic? Who, other than NC4OM, and DKM, are your biggest fans?

Because, based on the available evidence, “The World” doesn’t give a shit about your efforts.

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

Blitzgal, does this apply for any accusations of a crime? like physical assault, theft, etc….also it doesn’t state that it applies to men only correct? Doesn’t the school have the obligation to call the police in these cases and let them handle it from there?

Seems to me its like when a high school decides to suspend students for fighting or doing something else.

It also sounds like MRAs just don’t want the accuser (woman) to be believed in any case. No matter what the case is they always think the woman is lying thus everyone should assume the woman is lying. Even though overwhelming evidence suggests that rape victims don’t see enough justice. Even when there is overwhelming evidence of victim-blaming (don’t dress like sluts, its your fault for being drunk, the media questioning the victims sex-life, she was asking for it etc)

Pecunium
9 years ago

Sharculese: Politically correct does exist, but it doesn’t mean what it’s used to mean (which, I suppose, means it no longer means what it used to mean; which has been a boon for those who want to impose it’s previous meaning).

Something is “Politically Correct” when the Powers That Be (in whatever context one is working) mandate a “Truth”.

For Meller it is Politically Correct, to say that Gold is The Cure of Monetary Ills.

Ron Paul, et al. say so, and to disagree is to be wrong.

Saying Obama is a “Radical Left Wing Socialist” is poltically correct on the Tea Party/Limbaugh side.

And so forth.

In the middle-80s the right grabbed the term and used it to make attempts to be less othering in language ridiculous. They have, basically, managed to borrow the mechanism (try to be a Conservative, and disagree with Rush), while discrediting the term.

Pecunium
9 years ago

FF: “I thought feminists wanted to end stereotypes and prejudice. This is why I am averse to the feminist movement. In the MRM, such attitudes are the exception and not the rule.”

Grammatically, this is a mess, or very honest. You are, in your intelligent way, arguing that you are against feminism for being in favor of ending stereotypes and prejudices; and like the MRM because it’s in favor of maintaining them.

jadzia626
9 years ago

Hmm. Maybe I should join a dating site just for the lolz? 🙂

Pecunium
9 years ago

Crap: I am never going to get caught up. Work just called, asking me to come in, so I’ll be gone for the next nine-10 hours.

Pecunium
9 years ago

FF: If you cannot stand behind every interpretation of your words, perhaps you should be more careful about what you say.

But you get all sniffy and hurt when someone makes (and then defends) an interpretation of your words which you don’t like.

If you can’t stand behind every interpretation of your words, you should be more careful what you say.

Or, you know, you could learn to read for content.

We don’t try to be dangerous, Sharculese. Threats and personal attacks are more of a feminist thing.

Have you looked at the hashtag threads? The one’s detailing the threats and intimidations of the MRA?

Of course you have, you just don’t like those facts, so you refuse to “find” them.

factfinder
9 years ago

I don’t see why you get pissed over a link addressing nobody while you mock individuals to let off steam. I am curious how you rationalize this.

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

It may be my pesky liberal-mindedness here, but I don’t see where this:
[..]Equates to joking about raping underage girls.

FactFinder has a liberal view of raping children. Duely noted.

blitzgal
9 years ago

Oh, he already explained that. It’s unfair to assume that guy had sex with a child. He could’ve had sex with a mentally disabled person instead.

The sad thing is, I know a guy who did this, and there was no squishy grey area like FF likes to pretend. This guy worked at a home, and he raped a developmentally disabled woman who is bedridden and cannot speak. Her mental capacity is that of a five year old. DNA evidence proved that there was no question he’s the one who did it.

I was appalled to find out, but not surprised. His girlfriend was a co-worker of mine and she talked about how he would wait until she was passed out to have anal sex with her, because she didn’t want to do it otherwise. He’s in prison now, where he belongs.

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

So do you really want to compare how much society values my work compared to yours? Because that’s a more generalized measure of intelligence than schoolyard insults.

FactFinder believes that (US) society values are intelligence = pay?

Really?
I never imagined that those people on Jersey Shore were so much more intelligent than Brian Greene.

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

@Blitzgal

Oh, he already explained that. It’s unfair to assume that guy had sex with a child. He could’ve had sex with a mentally disabled person instead.

FactFinder has a liberal view of raping children and mentally disabled persons. Duely noted.
😉

Trollin'MRAs
Trollin'MRAs
9 years ago

OH WOW! I love this site, I always come back for the lulz. I hope you guys are screencapping “Preggo Punchout,” because once FactFinder finds himself two brain cells to rub together, he’ll do everything in his power to scrub that garbage from the internet.

Oh fuck it, here it is archived: http://imgur.com/X7hLP

Xardoz
Xardoz
9 years ago

As everyone can see, I got a wordpress account. Dave can compare IPs if anyone is concerned that I’m not really ‘Trollin’ MRAs.’ 😀

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

Wow… Now that I’ve read up on FactFinder’s little “project,” I can’t help but wonder exactly what sort of “3d simulations” he is running… I assumed they’d be scientific of some sort or another. Now I’m thinking he’s the source of all the horridly bad 3d pornography out there. -_-

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

I never said I was an “IT guy,” I just said I compile programs.

Now we know that FactFinder doesn’t even have the mental discipline to be a code monkey. Duely noted.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
9 years ago

Isn’t compiling programs the step where you don’t actually do anything?

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

@FactFinder

So because I linked to a troll site I take it seriously?

If you cannot stand behind every interpretation of your words links, perhaps you should be more careful about what you say link.

I’m not saying you’re a dishonest asshole, but…

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

@Bagelsan

Isn’t compiling programs the step where you don’t actually do anything?

It was back in the 90’s when I was in college. But times… they change. You’d have to ask some IT “guy”.

Leely
Leely
9 years ago

(Psst, cynical, it’s “duly noted.”)

FactFinder
9 years ago

If the latter, and you’re claiming that it isn’t your site, why did you also use the email of the deviantArt person as your email when you started posting here?
On, you noticed that. If it’s alright, I will wait a little longer to explain that part. To be fair, I can answer several other questions related to this recent development.

zhinxy
9 years ago

“If it’s alright, I will wait a little longer to explain that part. To be fair, I can answer several other questions related to this recent development.”

So, does the real person, whoever they may be, behind the site know you’re impersonating them?

FactFinder
9 years ago

Where do I impersonate them? It was David who released part of my email address without my consent.

Snowy
Snowy
9 years ago

So you’re saying that you’re not impersonating them because that is your email address and you are that same person?

zhinxy
9 years ago

Didn’t your name used to publicly link back to that page?

FactFinder
9 years ago

So you’re saying that you’re not impersonating them because that is your email address and you are that same person?
@Snowy – That is a possibility.

FactFinder
9 years ago

@zhinxy – Yes, my name did link back to that page.

zhinxy
9 years ago

So David isn’t really revealing anything, if you used that email address, is he?

zhinxy
9 years ago

My name links to my tumblr page. You can email me from that tumblr page. If I said that I was just trollin by linking to the tumblr page, and David pointed out I also used that pages email, I wouldn’t say he had commited some breach of confidence.

FactFinder
9 years ago

“Breach of confidence?” If it’s a breach of confidence, it is a pretty harmless one. A more feminist strain of a breach of confidence can be found below:
http://funnyhatemail.blogspot.com/2008/02/feminist-propaganda.html

zhinxy
9 years ago

Do you think there’s some obligation to keep email addresses private?

zhinxy
9 years ago

The fact that he seems to be using that name alongside his apparently real one as a handle would indicate he doesn’t consider it something to keep under wraps.