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douchebaggery idiocy kitties misogyny patriarchy pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles rape reactionary bullshit the spearhead we hunted the mammoth

Men Who Hate Women and the Women They Try to Date: Another visit to the Annals of Online Dating

What is this fucking shit?

A lot of guys who try online dating (of the heterosexual kind) complain that they send out message after message to the ladies and get no responses. Now, I’m no dating expert, but I would like to offer these gentlemen a piece of advice that I feel could dramatically improve their chances. Here it is:

If the message you are sending the lass you fancy would get upvotes on The Spearhead, do not send it.

This seems like a fairly self-evident point, but it’s one that a lot of guys don’t seem to understand, at least judging from some of the awful online come-ons posted at the always fabulous A(n)nals of Online Dating. Take this fella:

 [M]en have an obligation to rescue kittens from burning buildings, pay for your drinks, hold the door open for you, keep their hair neat, go to war and many other things. I’m just saying… Society worldwide really does put more obligations on men than women all around. There are few things women have to do… Shaving your legs is one of them.

I’m not sure how exactly this topic came up in conversation, but I’m pretty sure that Mr. Mammoth-Hunting Kitten-Rescuing Door-Holder-Opener and Lady Who Doesn’t Shave Her Legs are probably not a match made in Internet heaven.

This guy’s strategy is also somewhat problematic:

A so-cal Brooklyn transplant who believes in grammar, manners, music, and humor. I’m nice to my mother, always smile at dogs and babies, and am in the process of pleading that statutory rape charge down to a misdemeanor.

Yeah, it’s probably not a good idea to open with a joke about raping underage girls. Assuming it is a joke.

This message would be a bad idea regardless of gender:

RON PAUL REVOLUTION!! GIVE US BACK OUR CONSTITUTION!!!! lol sorry

Sorry indeed.

This next fellow is a bit of a Stealth Misogynist, in that he starts out with some actual compliments directed toward an actual women. Really creepy compliments, but complements nonetheless. Then we get a plot twist that’s about as shocking as the big reveal in M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village. Which is to say, so obvious that it could probably be spotted from space.

When I look at you I see very happy, fun loving, sexy, good girl. I love looking through your photos, I only wish there were more. Do you enjoy being obedient to the male figures in your life?

David K. Meller, is that you?

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SaruGoku
SaruGoku
9 years ago

FactFinder said:

“We don’t try to be dangerous, Sharculese. Threats and personal attacks are more of a feminist thing.”

You have got to be kidding. Have you actually been here over the last week? I guess the women who posted to #mencallmethings were making it all up, right? I don’t think so.

karak
karak
9 years ago

“If you cannot stand behind every interpretation of your words, perhaps you should be more careful about what you say.”

Did… did you really just say all interpretations, no matter how bizarre, are completely valid and you should stand behind them?

Are you aware that there is a discussion as to the nature of your possible personality disorder and/or mental illness based on your own words going on this very thread?

DID YOU JUST CONFESS TO ACTUALLY HAVING A PROBLEM? BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT YOU JUST DID, RIGHT THERE. I FUCKING SAW IT. Yet you will deny having a disorder AND being a woman-hating fucknut, even though those are both interpretations of your words.

It’s like dividing by zero. Or that riddle where you meet two people, one that always lies and one that tells the truth, and they BOTH say they lie…

FactFinder
9 years ago

Ah, the dubious disclaimer. I remember several conversations I had with feminists where they called me “gay.” When I observe they might be somewhat homophobic, they always make up a story about how they have gay friends and how I just must be a closeted homosexual for questioning feminism. So I guess what you’re trying to say is that you associate with programmers, but you would not hesitate to throw them under a bus if it served your dogma. Because that’s what I’m reading from that textbook dubious disclaimer.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

It’s not Rutee’s fault that your reading comprehension is poor, FactFinder.

FactFinder
9 years ago

I don’t know, what does the picture on my website say?

Sharculese
9 years ago

Shar, if this is so cut-and-dry, how did we shoot it down? You did not answer that.

because… its really cut-and-dry. seriously thats the explanation. a line was proposed in a draft of a bill. not even a controversial bill, a ‘cut-and-dry’ re-authorization bill that everyone knows is going to pass. nobody who does this for a living has time to argue every time it happens.

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

So I guess what you’re trying to say is that you associate with programmers, but you would not hesitate to throw them under a bus if it served your dogma.

Dude, they have groused with me on some of the more obvious manifestations of misogyny in tech culture. If it’s throwing programmers under the bus to say “No, seriously, that kind of shit is misogynist”, well, I think we’ll all deal.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

I’m not sure how “changed minor wording in a bill but failed to prevent the bill from passing” represents “shooting it down”, when the people in question’s actual goal was to eliminate the bill completely.

Sharculese
9 years ago

So now you’re a comedian?

honestly,factfinders gotcha word-games are so weird and obtuse that sometimes i worry if theyre actually brilliant on a level i dont understand. his train of thought changes direction like half the time ive got no clue how to respond.

then i remember everything else he says and i conclude hes actually just that dense.

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

This will seem ridiculous, but there are actually luddites on the internet.

That’s almost as crazy as the notion that men are oppressed in the US

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Does he want people to go over there and play some sort of MRA version of Where’s Waldo?

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

Blockquote fail. Probably a sign to go to bed. Night people.

SaruGoku
SaruGoku
9 years ago

FactFinder says:

“If you cannot stand behind every interpretation of your words, perhaps you should be more careful about what you say. You never know when they will be posted somewhere for all of the world to see.”

Hahaha…if we had been less inundated with stupid, I’d say that was the daftest comment made today. So any dubious interpretation of any remark is acceptable, regardless of the OP’s intention? Deliberate misinterpretation and the twisting of words is fine because any interpretation is valid?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

My interpretation is that we can file FF and Whatever under “same category of person, slightly different manifestation”.

Of course the combination of trying to make a game wherein you beat up pregnant women and claims that feminists are the hateful violent ones could be some form of satire, but he doesn’t strike me as smart enough for that.

katz
9 years ago

Just popping in to say that I’m doing database engineering at work right now, except when I’m administering the network.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

SHUN THE TECHIE…oh wait, you’re not horrible so we like you. Carry on, then.

katz
9 years ago

The mention of luddites on the Internet made me google “Amish.” This site certainly looks like it was designed by someone who’d never used a computer.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Please tell me that Mr let’s pretend to punch pregnant ladies is anti-abortion, just for the extra irony points.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

OK, that site hurts my eyes. Might be worth looking at the recipe section, though.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Also, hasTerry Pratchett been naming towns in PA?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intercourse,_Pennsylvania

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

Please tell me that Mr let’s pretend to punch pregnant ladies is anti-abortion, just for the extra irony points.

He used their talking points in asking why feminists called that misogyny and then stated he ‘didn’t believe in feminist dogma’, so…

Sharculese
9 years ago

@sarugoku

So this was a minor adjustment to a draft protocol for campus police, and not some huge victory over an unjust system?

thats basically it, yes.

Xanthe
Xanthe
9 years ago

Visited FF’s deviantArt profile. Ewwwwwwww…

Case closed.

SaruGoku
SaruGoku
9 years ago

David Futrelle said:

“Check out the 3D gaming project he claims to be working on, something called “”Preggo Punchout.”

WTF? Battle Royale with pregnant women? And then he has the gall to think that he can buy his way out by making donations to DV charities. Tasteless and stupid.

SaruGoku
SaruGoku
9 years ago

Sharculese:

” That’s basically it, yes.”

*Head meets desk*

They must be hard up for something to celebrate if they’re gloating over that.

plainplumpspinster
9 years ago

Haha, love it. I’m doing the internet dating thing at the moment (and yeah, blogging it) and one of the profiles I’m deciding whether to respond to just for blog fodder has the following line in it:

“Most of the women on here are fakes and just want your money and the others are stuck up bitches so if you think your [sic] too good for me don’t bother to contact me.”

Awesome display of both mysogyny, loserdom and awesome logic!

blitzgal
9 years ago

http://peririck.deviantart.com/

Check out the 3D gaming project he claims to be working on, something called “”Preggo Punchout”

So, a college drama class making some horror film inspired violent movie for their final class project is proof that ALL feminists are violent and evil — even though just about every American film studies doofus makes some kind of Tarantino rip off for his final project. But on the other hand, an MRA doing the exact same thing is….what? Speaking truth to power? Exposing the evil materialism of women by showing them smashing at each other with sledgehammers? So trite.

ithiliana
9 years ago

“DNA AND SCIENCE”

I’m getting fucking tired of NC4OM waving the flag of “DNA and science” to prove rape.

First: not all rape involves a penis (i.e. even when the rapist is not a woman, men can use other things to rape women and men).

Second: rape that involves a penis does not always involve ejaculate.

Third: CONDONS YOU BLOODY MORON.

Fourth: The horrific rate of backed up untested rape kits: http://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1ARAB_enUS452US452&gcx=c&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=untested+rape+its#hl=en&rlz=1C1ARAB_enUS452US452&sa=X&ei=xKbDTr-vH5PMtgeIp_W6DQ&ved=0CCAQvwUoAQ&q=untested+rape+kits&spell=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&fp=308ac1438cec8962&biw=1024&bih=499

And i’m still trying to work out why DNA is seen as the gold standard of rape–i.e. if there is semen, and DNA, and she says it was rape, and he says not, then WTF you bloody pig ignorant arsehole?

Will you stop trying to pretend there are SIMPLE answer to the structural oppressions of the kyriarchy?

Jill the Spinster
Jill the Spinster
9 years ago

Back to online dating, I have had a couple of interesting experiences, one in particular stands out.

One guy sent me a wink, so I checked out his profile and it listed such things as his hatred of western women and his love of trips to Thailand for sex.

Yeah, thanks, but no thanks.

no more mr nice guy
9 years ago

I think that FactFinder is a programmer like George Sodini.

AbsintheDexterous
9 years ago

Okay, I may not be entirely awake, but wow…that “preggo punching” game seems awful. Two pregnant “hookers” trying to cause each other to miscarry so that the “perverse millionaire” gives them money? I don’t care if all of the profits were going to DV shelters, that’s just plain wrong.

I really don’t want to know anyone who would find that game amusing or funny.

Sorka
Sorka
9 years ago

Most of the computer programmers I know (men and women) are kind and intelligent people (though some of them are also a little shy). I don’t think the same can be said of Fact Finder, though.

Assholes are assholes, no matter what their profession.

kristinmh
kristinmh
9 years ago

Jesus, FF, Preggo Punchout?

Fuck you!

(27 weeks pregnant over here. Christ, what an asshole.)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Let us all anticipate tomorrow’s response from FF.

“I see. So that’s how it is. Feminists are so steeped in female privilege that they think women have some sort of right not to be punched in the stomach just because they’re pregnant. Feminists are the threatening ones, telling men to fuck off just because they make games about punching pregnant women.

Be aware that your words will be posted elsewhere so that the world can see what feminists truly are.”

blitzgal
9 years ago

No, see, you guys don’t GET IT. It’s social commentary. Bitches will do anything for money, amirite?? And all these whores get tons of abortions anyway, therefore it’s not violent to show them hitting each other with hammers. /sarcasm

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

There you go again with the shaming language. How very typical. Have you no respect for the feelings of men who may be hurt by your vile mockery?

You are the reason why I, FF, support the MRM. You forced me into this.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

PS – I’m telling my mommy on you. Or I would if she wasn’t evil, just like all other women. Imma go tell the guys on Spearhead instead.

Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
9 years ago

OK, so I’m not going to comment on the usual troll derails. I just want to point out that David has helpfully included a picture of a literal facepalm in the OP, with an appropriate caption.

That pretty much says it all.

Sorka
Sorka
9 years ago
hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

In regards to Preggo Punchout: stay classy, FactFinder.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

In order for someone to stay classy wouldn’t they have needed to be classy at some point in the past? I’m finding that difficult to picture in this case.

Naira
Naira
9 years ago

From the “Preggo Punchout”:

“grabs an jar resembling a dimensionally challenged African-American woman. She opens it, dips her hand in the enchanted syrup, and morphs into an anthro gorilla. She then ravages her opponent. This is to be rendered as sensitively as possible.”

WTF?! I’m not sure what is more disgusting to me: the description of the scene that is to happen or the addition of the “rendering as sensitively as possible.”

No, don’t tell me that I’m being “too PC” or some shit like that for thinking that is offensive, FactFinder. Don’t tell me that if race/sex/gender really didn’t matter, I’d be okay with this shit.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

>>This will seem ridiculous, but there are actually luddites on the internet.

http://www.primitivism.com

lolwut?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Can we also critique his writing skills, as well as the overall offensiveness of the theme? Because the bit that Naira just posted reads like plot mad libs. Either he was high as a kite when he wrote that or he’s an incredibly bad writer.

Stick to your day job, angry man.

blitzgal
9 years ago

WTF?! I’m not sure what is more disgusting to me: the description of the scene that is to happen or the addition of the “rendering as sensitively as possible.”

I noticed that part, too. And that the hooker morphs into a gorilla after touching the syrup held in a jar shaped like a black woman. There’s layers of racism in THAT shit, especially considering that he doesn’t even have his breakfast products straight. He’s got Mrs. Butterworth confused with Aunt Jemima.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

@Cassandra: I wish there was a font called Sarcastia.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

dimensionally challenged

OK, after all the racism and general disgustingness of the concept, he’s going to tiptoe around calling someone fat? What the fuck.