The most common “critique” of the #mencallmethings hashtag that blew up on Twitter last week was that the women posting examples of misogynistic shit they got called online were making a big deal out of nothing. As the always-charming Ferdinand Bardamu so memorably put it:
It’s funny, then, that when MRAs find themselves described with less-than-flattering language they have a strange tendency to act like they’ve suddenly been struck with a case of the vapors. Witness the reaction of MRAs when someone calls them the “c-word.” No, not “cunt” – “creep.” As one outraged Men’s Rights Redditor recently put it, in a comment with 30+ net upvotes:
Creep shaming is probably one of the most insidious and anti-equality things you can do. The ability to label men as “creepy” is just one privilege that women enjoy, and a constant source of fear of ostracizing that all men must fear in our society.
When MRAs feel themselves being oppressed by such clearly man-hating language, they often refer to something called the Catalogue of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics, which, well, catalogues their language grievances in detail. According to the author of the Catalogue,
Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man’s insecurities and shut down debate. They are meant to elicit sympathy for women and to demonize men who ask hard questions. Most, if not all, shaming tactics are basically ad homimem attacks.
Such shaming tactics, the author of the Catalogue says, with no evident awareness of the irony, are often used by “histrionic … female detractors who refuse to argue their points with logic” and the male “gynocentrists” who ally with them.
Here are some of the awful “shaming” remarks that get directed at MRAs, according to the Catalogue of Shaming Tactics:
“Stop whining!”
“Suck it up like a man!”
“You need to get over your anger at women.”
“You’re afraid of a strong woman!”
“You are so immature!”
“You are just bitter because you can’t get laid.”
“Are you gay?”
“That’s a sexist stereotype!”
“You need therapy.”
“You make me feel afraid.”
“Weirdo!”
“Loser!”
“You are so materialistic.”
“No woman will marry you with that attitude.”
“You are insensitive to the plight of women.”
Is that last one even an insult? It’s a fairly accurate description of a lot of MRAs, who take a certain pride in being “insensitive to the plight of women.”
So now that we’ve seen the horrible abuse that MRAs have to put up with on a daily basis, let’s take a quick look at some of the things that women and feminists regularly get from their detractors, as posted to the #mencallmethings hashtag and sent to Sady Doyle, who originated the hashtag. (These are all taken from a great post she did in the aftermath of #mencallmethings’ big blowup.) I think you will find the comparison instructive. Let’s start with the more straightforward slurs. (TRIGGER WARNING for, well, just about everything in the quotes that follow.)
Slut, cunt, bitch, whore, ugly, dyke, lesbo, unfuckable, crazy, delusional, liar, hysterical, autistic bitch child, feminazi, ballbuster, humorless, heartless whore, man hater, misandrist, stupid little girl, shrieky hysterical moron, airhead, spoiled little princess, stupid bitch, stupid fucking cunt, stupid feminazi cunt, an ugly bitter little woman, cumm guzzling closet lesbian, a pseudo-intellectual Insane Oversensitive Humourless Female supremacist.
Now let’s move on to complete sentences:
“You’re an ugly fucking cunt.”
“That sort of smirk is why God invented anal sex.”
“you’re so ugly you look like you have downs syndrome, you’d be thankful to be raped.”
“hope you catch a sexually transmitted disease or vagina cancer, cuntwit.”
”Stick a dildo up your dry vagina.”
“the only time your mouth should be open is when i’m putting my d–k in it”
“Your just a gay cunt who deserves to be punished.”
“A firm backhand to her whore face would provide her with a much needed attitude adjustment.”
“Fuck you bitch….ya need to get beat like ur pops use to do to u.”
“I hope you never have children, your daughters would be such sluts and end up murdered in a gutter by someone like me.”
You’re “not worth the effort to murder.”
“[The] only tragedy is that a bullet didn’t rip through ur brainstem after u were used 4 ur 1 & only purpose in this world.”
“what a long winded bitch. You certainly do need to be gagged.”
“You’re an annoying bitch with no friends.I’d love to run you over with my truck.”
“you stupid bitch, I should fuck the crazy right out of you.”
”i surely hope that one day you get raped.”
“[You] can’t be a female scientist, that phrase is an oxymoron,”
“it’s painfully obvious you’re a woman, get off the internet.”
“I will fuck your ass to death you filthy fucking whore. Your only worth on this planet is as a warm hole.”
“Do you need to file a hurt feelings report?”
As I noted before, despite my general unpopularity in the MRA world, I tend to get fewer of these things than, for example, most feminist bloggers with a similar degree of internet notoriety. But I get them. Here, for example, is the latest comment I’ve gotten from the guy who calls himself Nugganu, a sort of follow-up to a previous comment I quoted earlier in which he imagined me raped by ten black men:
He certainly does have a vivid imagination.
But, yeah, somehow it’s a little hard for me to feel a ton of sympathy for MRAs who so regularly work themselves into a lather over “shaming language” like “creep” and “loser” and “you are insensitive to the plight of women.”
@NWOSlave:
Wait, what?
As far as my mother is concerned… yeah, she’s the only mom I’ve got. She’s also stopped with both the overt and the passive-aggressive stuff with religion almost completely. Very rarely she’ll say that she’s praying for me when I’m in a particularly bad place (like now, coincidentally) but she keeps it to a minimum for the most part. My dad doesn’t rock the boat by nature, so he’s never been a problem. The both of them have always pitched in and helped when things have gone pear-shaped in my life. When my wife was in the hospital a few years ago my dad hopped in the car and drove 500 miles overnight to help out. My mom sold off her vacation days to help us when I got laid off a few years ago, and insisted that it was a gift. Should I constantly argue with them over a philosophical difference every chance I get?
“Say you’re on a dark road all alone with a flat tire and no cell phone. And a guy like me pulls over about 50 yards away and starts walking towards you. You’ll probably start to feel pretty darned scared. Of course when I finally get there and offer to give you a hand, maybe you’ll realize you’ve been indoctrinated to fear and hate men. What you should’ve been thinking was, “Thank God a man is here to help!” ”
What a common every day situation to use! There are women that can change flat tires too you know. And men that can’t change flat tires. maybe in a perfect world i’d say “thank god someone is here to help”, but also in this world that we live in that is not being very smart to just blindly trust strangers on an isolated dark road…why am i even responding to this? haha.
Er, replace “fraught” with “problematic”.
“Moreover, why would you be of the opinion that revision of Islam would be hateful or irrational?
Do you think Feminism in general is hateful and irrational?”
This is a completely meaningless analogy. Or are you still assuming that anyone who doesn’t agree with you about Islam must be an MRA and hate feminism?
NWOslave, please read and answer this
http://manboobz.com/2011/11/13/showdown-mencallmethings-versus-the-catalogue-of-anti-male-shaming-tactics/comment-page-3/#comment-81480
Dude, if I had a flat tire and NWOslave came up to help me I’d ditch the car and run far, *far* away.
“This from feminists? The worlds foremost proponents of sadistic, whipping, caning, torture sex?”
Utter nonsense!!!!
Just see the reaction I got from feminists here when I joked about tying you, your MRA comrades and your bedfellow Islamic ideology all up together in that bed you share and giving you a good, hard, spanking!
😉
Of course I’d have to see pics first. DGTFO.
D*cks or get the fuck out!
@CassandraSays
“To be fair, as hateful and irrational as NC4OM is about Islam, at least she hasn’t declared a desire to rape children like NWO.”
Even Dave has verified I don’t have a desire to rape children. And I’ve already given you a link to feminists who openly promote pedophelia. We know who the promoters are.
Speaking of hatred. Since I just gave the link showing how, at least temporarily, men have staved off the tyranny of assumed guilt endorsed by feminists. Did anybody here actually sign the petition to the link I repeatedly gave to stop that tyranny? No seriously, what about teh menz? While I’m sure Ozy’s helping of men overcome the horror of being shamed if they wear an evening gown, I had bigger fish to fry.
Keep up your vile hatre of man, masculinity and all things male!
@Kate: the way I saw it, the whole “subhuman” business was “othering” MRAs the way I might “other” the KKK… it may be unfair, and is probably the wrong way to go about it, but on the other hand I’m sure I can disagree with the motivation. If someone says that it is both acceptable and preferable to rape and murder women for the “crime” of not being properly submissive to men, I personally have a hard time working up much ire at those people being treated unfairly in text on a comments thread on the Internet. I know it makes me ineligible for sainthood, but there you are.
Joe, I know I wasn’t clear earlier, but a family isn’t a philosophical movement and therefore coping mechanisms that work in a family setting won’t work in a philosophical movement like feminism.
I dunno, I guess my problem with this thread is that you seemed to favour throwing out the baby and keeping the bathwater. What’s left that’s really feminism if “othering” people is acceptable? or do I just have a weird view of what lies at the core of feminism?
NWO, just out of interest, have you ever stopped to help someone on the road?
“I’m NOT sure I can disagree with the motivation.”
NC4OM, I know you are stupid, but did you not see his passive aggressive little whine about how oppressed Christians are in the US? God, your little ‘theory’ is fraught with confirmation bias. The only 3 trolls on this blog who whine about sharia takeovers of the USA are you, Slavey, and some new and impressionless idiot.
I only said she was stupid and racist, and that watching them get into a fight over who is moreso would be painful. I’m not intimating she’s as horrible overall, only that her racism and NWO’s are going to be unpleasant to watch in a one-upping contest.
Cassandra, not meant to be an analogy. Two different questions.
Amazing. I posted along the lines of “the virulent woman-hating hyperbole being used by the trolls bore no relationship at all to the arguments being made in support of Rebecca.”
And out comes a spit-fleckled diatribe from NWOslave:
Way to prove my point, guy.
Yea NWO, you can just fuck off. You don’t get to dictate what other people can and can’t be afraid of, especially on a deserted road or elevator with no escape.
And a guy like YOU pulling up specifically? a guy with such blind hatred of women? yea, I would be afraid. And in extreme self defense mode too.
@No Cuntry 4 Old Men!
No time to read anything you post vile creature. I thought I’d lobby to have a law enacted that only allows women a preponderance of evidence standard. That way when a man says something against a woman, her guilt will be assumed and his word IS the evidence.
Or would that be a bad thing?
You know, NC4OM, I’m going to point something out. While I was living in the Middle East I did actually meet a few genuine zealots (mostly in Saudi). In particular there was one member of the mutaween who managed to scare the crap out of me. What made those people scary was the ranting, and the general sense that they were completely unable to comprehend or accept viewpoints that differed from their own in even the tiniest ways. That and the single-minded, maniacal focus on their chosen issue.
When you talk about Islam you come across the same way, as a zealot. Zealots are generally regarded by most other people as a bit alarming, not worth engaging with, and impervious to reason.
No one is going to engage with you until you knock off the hyperbole and the OMG PANIC SHARIA IN EUROPE WILL HAPPEN NEXT WEEK alarmist stuff. Because zealotry is offputting, and not worth engaging with.
Kate, this is a dilemma that lies at the heart of every movement I think. Some people are more aggressive than others. Some people want to move faster or slower, in one direction or another. Some people cry “damn the torpedoes!” and others want to take the high road and tiny little baby steps along the way to avoid slipping off of the perfect path.
The best answer I have for you is that I personally appreciate the existence of both sides, and the whole spectrum of folks in between. I’m all for scooping out the bathwater all willy-nilly, and I’m glad other people are minding the baby. As aggravated as I get at other people wanting to draw a bunch of hard lines, I’m glad that there ARE lines and people to draw them. Does that make any sense?
Why are you concealing this douchebag’s IP?
@Quackers
“Yea NWO, you can just fuck off. You don’t get to dictate what other people can and can’t be afraid of, especially on a deserted road or elevator with no escape.”
And you don’t get to dictate what I say shouldn’t be fearful.
——————————
“And a guy like YOU pulling up specifically? a guy with such blind hatred of women? yea, I would be afraid. And in extreme self defense mode too.”
OOOoooo, self defense mode! Am I supposed to be afraid. Oh no! you made me afraid! Are you threatening me?
“I only said she was stupid and racist”
You’ve not been able to provide proof of either and Cassandra fails to explain how my opinion that Islam as an ideology needs to be revised, updated and feminised is either hateful or irrational.
Still waiting.
🙂
And I’ll ask, is there anyone here who DOES NOT think that Islam needs to be revised, updated and feminized?
Just one question to all you equality folks.
Did anyone sign the petition to stop the recinding of a mans right to innocense that feminists wrote, endorsed and tried to have enshrined in law?
This has probably been said already but as a guy? I would probably be alarmed too. And no, my response would not be, thank god a man is here to help! It really has nothing to do with being a feminist.