The most common “critique” of the #mencallmethings hashtag that blew up on Twitter last week was that the women posting examples of misogynistic shit they got called online were making a big deal out of nothing. As the always-charming Ferdinand Bardamu so memorably put it:
It’s funny, then, that when MRAs find themselves described with less-than-flattering language they have a strange tendency to act like they’ve suddenly been struck with a case of the vapors. Witness the reaction of MRAs when someone calls them the “c-word.” No, not “cunt” – “creep.” As one outraged Men’s Rights Redditor recently put it, in a comment with 30+ net upvotes:
Creep shaming is probably one of the most insidious and anti-equality things you can do. The ability to label men as “creepy” is just one privilege that women enjoy, and a constant source of fear of ostracizing that all men must fear in our society.
When MRAs feel themselves being oppressed by such clearly man-hating language, they often refer to something called the Catalogue of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics, which, well, catalogues their language grievances in detail. According to the author of the Catalogue,
Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man’s insecurities and shut down debate. They are meant to elicit sympathy for women and to demonize men who ask hard questions. Most, if not all, shaming tactics are basically ad homimem attacks.
Such shaming tactics, the author of the Catalogue says, with no evident awareness of the irony, are often used by “histrionic … female detractors who refuse to argue their points with logic” and the male “gynocentrists” who ally with them.
Here are some of the awful “shaming” remarks that get directed at MRAs, according to the Catalogue of Shaming Tactics:
“Stop whining!”
“Suck it up like a man!”
“You need to get over your anger at women.”
“You’re afraid of a strong woman!”
“You are so immature!”
“You are just bitter because you can’t get laid.”
“Are you gay?”
“That’s a sexist stereotype!”
“You need therapy.”
“You make me feel afraid.”
“Weirdo!”
“Loser!”
“You are so materialistic.”
“No woman will marry you with that attitude.”
“You are insensitive to the plight of women.”
Is that last one even an insult? It’s a fairly accurate description of a lot of MRAs, who take a certain pride in being “insensitive to the plight of women.”
So now that we’ve seen the horrible abuse that MRAs have to put up with on a daily basis, let’s take a quick look at some of the things that women and feminists regularly get from their detractors, as posted to the #mencallmethings hashtag and sent to Sady Doyle, who originated the hashtag. (These are all taken from a great post she did in the aftermath of #mencallmethings’ big blowup.) I think you will find the comparison instructive. Let’s start with the more straightforward slurs. (TRIGGER WARNING for, well, just about everything in the quotes that follow.)
Slut, cunt, bitch, whore, ugly, dyke, lesbo, unfuckable, crazy, delusional, liar, hysterical, autistic bitch child, feminazi, ballbuster, humorless, heartless whore, man hater, misandrist, stupid little girl, shrieky hysterical moron, airhead, spoiled little princess, stupid bitch, stupid fucking cunt, stupid feminazi cunt, an ugly bitter little woman, cumm guzzling closet lesbian, a pseudo-intellectual Insane Oversensitive Humourless Female supremacist.
Now let’s move on to complete sentences:
“You’re an ugly fucking cunt.”
“That sort of smirk is why God invented anal sex.”
“you’re so ugly you look like you have downs syndrome, you’d be thankful to be raped.”
“hope you catch a sexually transmitted disease or vagina cancer, cuntwit.”
”Stick a dildo up your dry vagina.”
“the only time your mouth should be open is when i’m putting my d–k in it”
“Your just a gay cunt who deserves to be punished.”
“A firm backhand to her whore face would provide her with a much needed attitude adjustment.”
“Fuck you bitch….ya need to get beat like ur pops use to do to u.”
“I hope you never have children, your daughters would be such sluts and end up murdered in a gutter by someone like me.”
You’re “not worth the effort to murder.”
“[The] only tragedy is that a bullet didn’t rip through ur brainstem after u were used 4 ur 1 & only purpose in this world.”
“what a long winded bitch. You certainly do need to be gagged.”
“You’re an annoying bitch with no friends.I’d love to run you over with my truck.”
“you stupid bitch, I should fuck the crazy right out of you.”
”i surely hope that one day you get raped.”
“[You] can’t be a female scientist, that phrase is an oxymoron,”
“it’s painfully obvious you’re a woman, get off the internet.”
“I will fuck your ass to death you filthy fucking whore. Your only worth on this planet is as a warm hole.”
“Do you need to file a hurt feelings report?”
As I noted before, despite my general unpopularity in the MRA world, I tend to get fewer of these things than, for example, most feminist bloggers with a similar degree of internet notoriety. But I get them. Here, for example, is the latest comment I’ve gotten from the guy who calls himself Nugganu, a sort of follow-up to a previous comment I quoted earlier in which he imagined me raped by ten black men:
He certainly does have a vivid imagination.
But, yeah, somehow it’s a little hard for me to feel a ton of sympathy for MRAs who so regularly work themselves into a lather over “shaming language” like “creep” and “loser” and “you are insensitive to the plight of women.”
Keep fuckin’ that chicken, Joe.
And now I’m singing “sexual Marxism” in my head to the tune of “Sexual Healing”… also, is it bad that I sing out the name of this site to Batgirl’s theme on the old 1960s Batman show? Manboooooooobz… MANBOOBZ! Manboooooooobz… MANBOOBZ!
hellkell, you’re not a nice person.
Why didn’t anyone warn me that hellkell was an MRA troll?
Uh, possibly because hellkell is not an MRA troll?
I’m still trying to wrap my head around the idea that NC4OM has travelled all over the world, and observed the way Islam is practised in many different countries, and she still thinks it’s a monolith that is the same everywhere. And she’s been to Saudi Arabia. Um, what? There is literally not a single other country in the world that looks quite like the Kingdom in terms of social organization. The closest would the countries that immediately surround it, like Kuwait or Yemen (but add a totally different economic reality in Yemen – the gender stuff is similar, though). To say that, for example, Malaysia (where I’ve been) looks anything like Saudi in terms of gender relations?
Dude, that’s fucking ridiculous.
Please spare me the tastelsess joke joe. hellkell is not a troll.
Really, Snowy? Because up until now, only MRAs would assert that someone was committing bestiality. Are you telling me that “be a little forgiving of small differences” rates someone saying to me “Keep fuckin’ that chicken, Joe”?
*tasteless
jumbofisch, “Keep fuckin’ that chicken, Joe” is an appropriate response to polite disagreement?
Seriously dude?
It’s not just with hellkell.
This reads as pure douchebag. A very small douchebag, perhaps not worth going after, but still, douchebaggy. But hey, keep on defining the terms of the debate, and let us know when we’ve won or lost, how you did, and what the prizes are.
Seriously, if any of you think “Keep fuckin’ that chicken, Joe” is an appropriate response to ANYTHING, there’s something seriously wrong with you.
hellkell is pretty pissed at you and yes people say some nasty things when they are pissed but no that doesn’t make a person a mra.
No one said it was appropriate….
Thanks hellkell, I thought their comments sounded pretty similar. I think I’m just going to ignore your self-appointed nemesis for now. He doesn’t seem to understand the concept of “expressions”.
“Maybe you could have referred to INCELs then, instead of virgins? I agree with you that they’re creepy, but I don’t think that’s any reason to insult all virgins anymore than it would be reason to insult all men.”
Puh-leze. Nowhere did I “insult all virgins”. I said these MRAs are angry, frustrated virgins, and they are. Reread the blog with its examples of vile and violent vitriole against women. Angry and frustrated. Why? They are involuntarily virgin. That doesn’t mean ALL virgins are angry, frustrated MRAs. Sheesh.
“Thinks that doing something sexual to someone against their will is going to win that person over to your point of view?…You call this person on our side???”
Sheesh again, I was joking. Hence the 😉 Don’t take life so seriously.
FelixBC, “You know, given that we’re not so thrilled to hear MRAs say that feminism needs to be completely “revised”, and that various terrorists think the same about western culture, I’m just not into jumping on the bandwagon of blithely announcing that Islam needs to be revised and updated.”
Read the Quran and Hadith, you might change your mind.
Plus, I don’t get the just because were not thrilled to hear MRAs say Feminism needs to be revised and terrorists think the same thing about Western culture part of your comment. There are things out there than need to be revised, no matter what MRAs or terrorists think. Don’t make the mistake of thinking all ideologies are equal or even similar.
That being said, sure, there are probably aspects of both Feminism and Western culture that DO need revising. What – is culture, religion and isms meant to be stagnant? Just because nutters like MRAs and terrorists may want to revise something means that nothing should be revised, ever?
Many things need to be revised, Islam and MRM amongst them.
“Also, NC4OM, maybe go check out the work of several hundreds of years of Muslim writing and thought and culture before deciding in all your wisdom that it’s all shite, sorry, a “problematic” and “dangerous” ideology.”
You’re talking to someone who was born and raised in a Muslim family, Hon. Trust me. I know of what I speak.
“hellkell, you’re not a nice person.”
And somehow hellkell should now turn around, apologize profusely for daring to be rude, rude I tell you! and be more supportive and understanding of you. Well, fuck that. It’s not required. And you don’t get to demand it.
You claimed hellkell was an mra and I’m saying zie is not that is all. I have no idea where you are pulling me calling it an appropriate response from.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Keep%20fucking%20that%20chicken
@Xanthe
“the virulent woman-hating hyperbole being used by the trolls bore no relationship at all to the arguments being made in support of Rebecca.”
Amazing, disagreeing with a pampered little princess who simply couldn’t withhols her angst at being………wait for it………talked to in an elevator. Oh the horribly oppression women endure! How do you manage to keep your sanity?
Ya see the only one who was wrong was dear sweet Beckybitch. Yet you, in all your hatred of anything male, climbed aboard the team-woman bandwagon, as your doing now. What you should’ve said in a comment was, “this spoiled little bitch should keep her all-knowing trap shut. The world doesn’t revolve around her precious feelings, and she should be grateful any man even bothers talking to her” With any luck, word got around about her, and no man will come within spitting distance of her.
Ya see, when you spew a constant diatribe of hatred, which you support, you’re gonna get hatred in return.
—————-
@thebionicmommy
“Many of the MRA’s really are extremists, scare others, and make generalizations about women.”
Say you’re on a dark road all alone with a flat tire and no cell phone. And a guy like me pulls over about 50 yards away and starts walking towards you. You’ll probably start to feel pretty darned scared. Of course when I finally get there and offer to give you a hand, maybe you’ll realize you’ve been indoctrinated to fear and hate men. What you should’ve been thinking was, “Thank God a man is here to help!”
As far as, “generalizations” go. There always seems to be a grain of truth to them. They didn’t come about for no reason.
—————
@Improbable Joe
“Naira totally ripped me off with that whole “if they’re hearing the same arguments over and over, they need to look inward” business”
That’s what people have been saying about feminism for a 100 years, it’s a hate movement. Maybe you should look inward?
——————
@No Cuntry 4 Old Men!
“Something went wrong somewhere. Could it be genetic?”
Feminism>Nazism/Pol Pot/Communism.
——————
@hellkell
“Frankly, she’s adding nothing but Islamophobia, and the jury’s still out on you.”
Lets see, Islamaphobia is bad, anti-semitism is bad, but Christian bashing is good. In fact, Christian loathing is specifically endorsed by feminism.
——————-
On a happy note, no thanks to the vile hate movement known as feminism, check this out.
http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20111111/NEWS03/111111020/Leahy-scraps-provision-upcoming-bill-following-complaints?odyssey=nav%7Chead
Men, for the time being, have retained the basic right of innocense which feminists tried to abolish. Well, when I say happy note I meant for men anyways. Don’t worry though, it’ll be back again next year under some name like womens freedom act, or attached to another bill and signed into existence.
I worked real hard on blocking the bill to revoke mens basic right to a fair trial. I signed petitions, wrote letters, sent links everywhere on where to sign to block this tyranny. MRAs everywhere rallied for this. I also, on several occasions gave everyone here a link for your signature to block this assault on a mans basic freedom. You mocked and ridiculed me. You spewed hatred at me. You refused. You looked forward to a mans assumed guilt.
“Say you’re on a dark road all alone with a flat tire and no cell phone. And a guy like me pulls over about 50 yards away and starts walking towards you. You’ll probably start to feel pretty darned scared. Of course when I finally get there and offer to give you a hand, maybe you’ll realize you’ve been indoctrinated to fear and hate men. What you should’ve been thinking was, “Thank God a man is here to help!”
Or our hypothetical woman could just change her own tire. I know, I know, her vagina renders her unable to operate even very simple tools…
I’m not scared of most men who randomly approach me. If most women who you approach seem to be scared of you, there’s a reason for that, and that reason is not “feminist indocrination”.
“Seriously, if any of you think “Keep fuckin’ that chicken, Joe” is an appropriate response to ANYTHING, there’s something seriously wrong with you.”
I’ve never heard that phraseology before and have no idea what it means. Care to explain?
But did she? Or did she just ignore that part of you in hopes that it “got better” or that you had a “come to Jesus” moment or whatever? You don’t make it sound like either of you came to a conclusion that is actually accepting of that part of each other’s personal beliefs.
Maybe “ignore it until it goes away” isn’t the best way of resolving conflict in a community that is united in an ideological purpose that emphasizes equality and respect, even of those who are very often “pwned” by the logic of our movement.
One lurker’s 0.02
/relurks
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Keep%20fucking%20that%20chicken
“In any case, KFTC seems to be a gesture of support to the recipient to continue doing whatever it is that they’re doing, despite what others may say, so long as it makes them happy.”
@NWOslave: You took my comment out of context. I was being playful and joking about Naira using what I said without attribution. Further, although some people here have been both unfair and unkind towards me, it doesn’t make your stupidity even a tiny bit more palatable to me. Unlike you, I’m not foolish enough to take a bad experience and extend it to some sort of negative judgment of an entire group.