The most common “critique” of the #mencallmethings hashtag that blew up on Twitter last week was that the women posting examples of misogynistic shit they got called online were making a big deal out of nothing. As the always-charming Ferdinand Bardamu so memorably put it:
It’s funny, then, that when MRAs find themselves described with less-than-flattering language they have a strange tendency to act like they’ve suddenly been struck with a case of the vapors. Witness the reaction of MRAs when someone calls them the “c-word.” No, not “cunt” – “creep.” As one outraged Men’s Rights Redditor recently put it, in a comment with 30+ net upvotes:
Creep shaming is probably one of the most insidious and anti-equality things you can do. The ability to label men as “creepy” is just one privilege that women enjoy, and a constant source of fear of ostracizing that all men must fear in our society.
When MRAs feel themselves being oppressed by such clearly man-hating language, they often refer to something called the Catalogue of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics, which, well, catalogues their language grievances in detail. According to the author of the Catalogue,
Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man’s insecurities and shut down debate. They are meant to elicit sympathy for women and to demonize men who ask hard questions. Most, if not all, shaming tactics are basically ad homimem attacks.
Such shaming tactics, the author of the Catalogue says, with no evident awareness of the irony, are often used by “histrionic … female detractors who refuse to argue their points with logic” and the male “gynocentrists” who ally with them.
Here are some of the awful “shaming” remarks that get directed at MRAs, according to the Catalogue of Shaming Tactics:
“Stop whining!”
“Suck it up like a man!”
“You need to get over your anger at women.”
“You’re afraid of a strong woman!”
“You are so immature!”
“You are just bitter because you can’t get laid.”
“Are you gay?”
“That’s a sexist stereotype!”
“You need therapy.”
“You make me feel afraid.”
“Weirdo!”
“Loser!”
“You are so materialistic.”
“No woman will marry you with that attitude.”
“You are insensitive to the plight of women.”
Is that last one even an insult? It’s a fairly accurate description of a lot of MRAs, who take a certain pride in being “insensitive to the plight of women.”
So now that we’ve seen the horrible abuse that MRAs have to put up with on a daily basis, let’s take a quick look at some of the things that women and feminists regularly get from their detractors, as posted to the #mencallmethings hashtag and sent to Sady Doyle, who originated the hashtag. (These are all taken from a great post she did in the aftermath of #mencallmethings’ big blowup.) I think you will find the comparison instructive. Let’s start with the more straightforward slurs. (TRIGGER WARNING for, well, just about everything in the quotes that follow.)
Slut, cunt, bitch, whore, ugly, dyke, lesbo, unfuckable, crazy, delusional, liar, hysterical, autistic bitch child, feminazi, ballbuster, humorless, heartless whore, man hater, misandrist, stupid little girl, shrieky hysterical moron, airhead, spoiled little princess, stupid bitch, stupid fucking cunt, stupid feminazi cunt, an ugly bitter little woman, cumm guzzling closet lesbian, a pseudo-intellectual Insane Oversensitive Humourless Female supremacist.
Now let’s move on to complete sentences:
“You’re an ugly fucking cunt.”
“That sort of smirk is why God invented anal sex.”
“you’re so ugly you look like you have downs syndrome, you’d be thankful to be raped.”
“hope you catch a sexually transmitted disease or vagina cancer, cuntwit.”
”Stick a dildo up your dry vagina.”
“the only time your mouth should be open is when i’m putting my d–k in it”
“Your just a gay cunt who deserves to be punished.”
“A firm backhand to her whore face would provide her with a much needed attitude adjustment.”
“Fuck you bitch….ya need to get beat like ur pops use to do to u.”
“I hope you never have children, your daughters would be such sluts and end up murdered in a gutter by someone like me.”
You’re “not worth the effort to murder.”
“[The] only tragedy is that a bullet didn’t rip through ur brainstem after u were used 4 ur 1 & only purpose in this world.”
“what a long winded bitch. You certainly do need to be gagged.”
“You’re an annoying bitch with no friends.I’d love to run you over with my truck.”
“you stupid bitch, I should fuck the crazy right out of you.”
”i surely hope that one day you get raped.”
“[You] can’t be a female scientist, that phrase is an oxymoron,”
“it’s painfully obvious you’re a woman, get off the internet.”
“I will fuck your ass to death you filthy fucking whore. Your only worth on this planet is as a warm hole.”
“Do you need to file a hurt feelings report?”
As I noted before, despite my general unpopularity in the MRA world, I tend to get fewer of these things than, for example, most feminist bloggers with a similar degree of internet notoriety. But I get them. Here, for example, is the latest comment I’ve gotten from the guy who calls himself Nugganu, a sort of follow-up to a previous comment I quoted earlier in which he imagined me raped by ten black men:
He certainly does have a vivid imagination.
But, yeah, somehow it’s a little hard for me to feel a ton of sympathy for MRAs who so regularly work themselves into a lather over “shaming language” like “creep” and “loser” and “you are insensitive to the plight of women.”
FactFinder–here’s a thought, how about you don’t come into a space and scold people because they’re not doing what you think they should to your specifications?
If you don’t like what’s said and how it’s said, feel free to leave.
FactFinder, you are aware that there are multiple commenters here and that we are not all the same person, right? I said nothing about banning skinny models from the catwalk, or indeed about modelling or fashion at all.
I’m actually trying to think of whether I’ve ever said anything about fashion at all on this blog, to see if she’s just transforming all commenters into a big mass of Evil Bitchy Feminists in her head, and I’m pretty sure the only time I’ve ever mentioned fashion was to refer to the designer I interviewed a few weeks back, and all I really said about him was that a. he was very nice and b. he kept hugging me, which I thought was cute. Not a word about models being too skinny, subliminal messages, etc.
Maybe she’s just arguing with a strawfeminist that lives in her head?
More or less. Even when FF uses real quotes, zie fails to understand what the words meant when they were said, and they become whatever zie wants. Because you know, FF can’t actually read for comprehension XD
Whatever though… damn, son, “Incel” just means you’ve failed to interest any of the women you’ve gone after. It doesn’t entitle you to anything, least of all sexual attention. And it doesn’t justify the shit you’re doing now.
I mean really, let’s say 4 years ago I actually was the man hating ogre you idiots think all feminists are; would it be okay because I was an incel too? Hint: No.
I have never mentioned fashion here. And anywhere here is not where I do my big Feminist Activisming– that’s NSWATM. Here’s where I blow off steam, hang out with friends and mock idiots. Even social justice people have hobbies.
I dont agree with feminist for a few reason i am guy. i like looking at big boobs i have a preference thats makes me sexist. i like watching fairly larger boob ladies on t.v thats not ok. i dont agree with all feminist views misogynist .i think a lot of young boys are being done a disservice .i am a fool yet boys are failing pretty hard but some how its there fault. yet when things dont work for girls its to geared towards boys dose not seem equal. and if you choose to respond to this or tell me off please try to go over everything i said .
Cool story, Heero.
i like looking at big boobs i have a preference thats makes me sexist.
Says who?
Factfinder: “…watch your tongue around men”???? Go back to the 18th century. PLEASE. Did you not get the memo that this is an ANTI oppression-by-males site? Why do you want to join the ranks of those who would seek to silence–nay, essentially eliminate–you forever because they are threatened SO MUCH by the fact that you are female?? Christ, get a sex change in that case, already.
certain feminist its wrong dont view women as objects. yet ultimately when some one i think looks for a mate they look for there preference. but because i like ladies with larger chest that in turns makes me a sexist . because i am looking at features i like .
Personally I think mockery of misogyny is combining work with play, but yes, here is probably not anybody’s sole work XD
Heero, try forming a coherent thought, then engaging. Stream of Consciousness is not your friend.
I like big boobs too, and I’m a feminist.
Oh noes, exploded troll head all over the place. That’s always so annoying to clean up, the little bits get stuck between the keys on your keyboard.
Do I bother explaining what’s wrong to someone who hasn’t demonstrated literacy? Tough call.
I’m waiting for him to start off his next helping of word salad with “I like big butts and I cannot lie.”
FactFinder’s back? And he’s tone-trolling? I want to say it’s some some sort of contradiction…
@Heero:
Let’s get some basic facts straight, and I’ll try to be as clear as I can. Your preferences don’t make you sexist.
If you look down upon women who don’t fit your preferences, that is sexist. If you say that all women should try to look how you want, that is sexist. If you see women only as objects of your desire, and not as fellow human beings, that is sexist.
Seeing women as objects means viewing them only as a means to get sex. If, when you see a woman, your only thought is how to get her in bed, or how useful she’d be for sex, and so on, you are objectifying a women and are therefore sexist. If you treat women as you treat men in nearly all cases, but while looking for a date you choose to pursue women who fit your ideals, that is not sexist.
No rutee if all you are worrying about is that but not saying anything of things posted whats the point ?
I like big boobs and big butts too. Thankfully, I’m married to someone who not only possesses both those attributes in gratifying abundance but also has similar interests. And we’re both feminists too. Fancy that!
I literally have no idea what heero is trying to say in his last comment.
I can’t tell, is he agreeing with me or disagreeing with me?
The thought occurs to me that English may not be your first language; calming down a bit might help, if so? I know a few ESL/ETL types who speak substantially better when not overly emotional (Be it excited or mad)
This makes literally no sense to me.
I like men with dark hair.
OMG, objectification! Someone call in the Strawfeminist Police to arrest me!
@kirbywarp thank you for answering my post and not going after my grammer ,literacy and so on .
I HAVE big boobs (that I quite like most days) AND I’m a feminist!
certain feminist its wrong dont view women as objects.
Viewing women as objects? Not the same thing as liking big breasts.
what is a strawfeminist ?