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creepy douchebaggery evil women men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny

Twitter hashtag of the day: #MenCallMeThings, a catalogue of horrendous misogynist crap sent to women online

Twitter hashtag of the day: #mencallmethings, in which Women With Opinions on the Internet report some of the creepy, violent, threatening, misogynist things said to them in comments and emails by dudes on the Internet. GIANT TRIGGER WARNING for:  “whore,” “slut,” “cunt,” “fat cunt,” “ugly cunt,” “cunt bucket,” “cum dumpster,” “lesbian hambeast” (huh?), assorted threats of rape and murder —  the list goes on, and on, and on. I would post the, er, “highlights,” but, really, just go and look at it. This shit is relentless.

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Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
9 years ago

Maybe I should start a hashtag called #manboobzcallsmethings.

Ugly. Loser. Dwarf. Quasimodo. Evil. Hot mess. Vile. Twisted. Asshole. Ugliest. Parents should be ashamed. Wouldn’t fuck you with a borrowed dick. Gross. Worthless sack of shit. Trash. Self-absorbed narcissist.

Oh man, the feminists have it so bad, they get called pretty much exactly what men get called on the internet. Suck it up.

shaenon
9 years ago

On the subject of thin skins, didn’t we have an MRA in here the other day proclaiming that the word “dude” was hurtful anti-male hate speech? As a Californian, I am hellza living at Man-Hating Ground Zero!

FactFinder
9 years ago

Highlight 1: “If your response to #mencallmethings is “But not all men are like that!” you’re probably one of the men who’s like that.”
Highlight 2: This may be my computer, browser, etc. but I notice almost all of the posts are about how much of a shit sandwich it is to have tits in America, and very, very few even mention specific things women have been called. I’m not even going to try to find a verifiable citation in this literary equivalent to spaghetti code. I guess the Internet has become so trustworthy that every claim some anonymous person makes is indisputable fact.
Have a nice day.

FactFinder
9 years ago

With that trigger warning, you got me all riled up for some lesbian whores being called out on their whoredom. I found little degradation of that sort, and surely not enough to satisfy my appetite. Now I’m going to have to buy some more subscriptions to pain sites. Thanks a lot, David, I was hoping to invest that portion of my more sizable nonfeminist paycheck in Man Points.

Raincitygirl
9 years ago

Sorry to disappoint you, FactFinder. Now please be a lamb and get the door on your way out. Ta ra.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

I guess the Internet has become so trustworthy that every claim some anonymous person makes is indisputable fact.

Out of curiosity, how do you determine who’s lying and who’s not on the internet? xD I mean clearly you’re talking to ppl on the internet right now and presumably you respond to what ppl say…. xD I mean you’re responding right now o:

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

Men’s Rights Activist Lieutenant | November 8, 2011 at 12:54 am

Maybe I should start a hashtag called #manboobzcallsmethings.

DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT! 😀

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

I never understand this “maybe *I* should…!!!!!!” Starscream thing XD

Is it a threat? o_O They never DO do it either… so it must be some sort of threat…

I’m confused as to HOW it is threatening tho… is it a “HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF?” thing? does that mean MRAL likes this idea or that it’s a bad idea and nobody should do it (including himself)?

I require MRALaboration 😀

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

See MRAL MRALaborate. MRALaborate, MRAL. MRALaborate! 😀

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

Is Arks saying bizarre things about triggers now? XD

I wondered what happened to Arks o:

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

David Futrelle | November 8, 2011 at 12:39 am

Now the MRAs have discovered #mencallmethings. Apparently complaining about horrible misogynist things guys have said to you is evil man-hating feminist hate speech, or something.

Stay tuned for the inevitable manosphere blog posts on the subject.

I’m guessing there will be several, given how they always react to these things (like the sports columnist who the Buffalo Bills fans were calling fat, ugly, telling her to get back in the kitchen, etc etc) or the other female columnist recently who was talking about the harassment female writers/bloggers get when ppl disagree w/ them, rape threats, etc etc

1) this is normal stuff, men get it too, we don’t complain

2) Men get all of this and more!

3) Most of these are probably women. Women are worse than men when it comes to being vicious.

4) YOU ARE SAYING ONLY MEN DO THIS AND ONLY WOMEN ARE VICTIMS!

And prolly something about how all we get are vague threats of rape, but a man would lose his job, get false accusations, and be put in jail by now. XD

Oh and MRAL srsly needs to start his thing 😀 MRAL + twitter = OMFGLURVE xD

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

Hey nobody’s around! 😀

MUHAHAHAHAHAHA >:3

Time to make it Amis all the way down! >:D

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAHHHAAAA

😀

It’s Amis ALL THE WAY DOWN! >:D

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

MRAL – Things people say because you are obnoxious ≠ things people say because you are male. It actually gets a little complicated here because lots of guys will claim (or even really do it) to only insult women who are “out of line,” but they don’t have the same standards for men and women.

We do. (Witness our tender loving treatment of Magdelyn, for instance.) It’s not about gender, it’s about “wymyn FUCK her holy highness FUCK alpha.”

FactFinder – That’s really shocking and stuff and whatever. I’m so shocked.

darksidecat
9 years ago

I love how none of the things MRAL cites are gendered, unlike threats to “rape you until you are almost dead” and “bite off your nipples” like those I used to occasionally get when using a more female coded name online. I have also had people tell me that I deserved to be beaten, raped, and murdered for being genderqueer. Everyone gets insults, but marginalized people get insults because of their marginalized status, and women get hit particularly hard on sexualized and appearance based insults (as do many trans people).

Here’s PZ on how the harassment he gets for his atheist blogging differs from that his female peers are frequently getting http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/11/07/being-a-woman-on-the-internet/

So, yeah, there is a difference between being called an asshole and being on the receiving end of threats to bite off your nipples given in extreme detail.

KristinMH
9 years ago

My personal blog, which gets a whopping 30-50 hits a day (I got almost 200 once when I wrote something about local politics that got widely retweeted!) recently got a comment which went something like this:

“You disgust me. Get f*cked, cvnt”

On a perfectly innocuous post about not wanting to go out alone on Hallowe’en. Seriously, the only thing that could conceivably offend ANYONE was a joke about Sexy Virgin Mary costumes. And for some reason I don’t think the commenter was a militant Catholic!

This is on a very unpopular blog which consists largely of pictures of dogs, personal introspection, occasional poetry and short fiction, with rare forays into feminism and politics. I can’t imagine how much shit you guys who a) have audiences and b) actually tackle this stuff head on must have to wade through.

Naira
Naira
9 years ago

@darksidecat:

Interesting post. I think between you and that post there’s some great points.

To further what you point out about marginalized status: that status IS the insult in many ways. Women aren’t insulted just because they are women, but it goes a step further to make womanhood an insult in and of itself. This blogger is metaphorically turned into a woman by many of his detractors and THEN the really messed up insults start.

And since the things that are generally used to marginalize a person (race, gender, gender identity, and sexual orientation) can’t be changed, it means that one’s very existence and being becomes an insult depending on the context. That’s the really cruel, insidious thing about marginalization and such tactics, in my view: it makes a cage that is as close and binding as one’s own body, thoughts, and identity.

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

As a Californian, I am hellza living at Man-Hating Ground Zero!

Hell, the 90s Kid is a one-man-Klan.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

The true test of a woman’s strength is her ability to shut up and do nothing.

Clearly women who stand up for themselves are the real weaklings here.

Also, In Mala Fide is kinda proving the point there.

Also it’s an openly white supremacist website so y’know. It gives them a little less credibility in my eyes than the ones that only hate women.

ozymandias42
9 years ago

Lose/Lose situation of the day:

“I don’t believe people call female bloggers shitty things.”
‘If you talk about the shitty things people call you, you’re just giving them what they want and you’re not really a strong, independent woman.”

Bostonian
9 years ago

Wow, I am totally surprised that the white supremacist website argued with the progressive women! I am certain the racist, misogynist jerkwads really had good points!

* I am not surprised, and I think the racists are idiots.

Bostonian
9 years ago

Also not surprising? The fact that Brandon is cool with the racist site.

Pecunium
9 years ago

MRAL: Maybe I should start a hashtag called #manboobzcallsmethings.

Maybe you should think about the difference between the mechanics of those two things. Because there is a difference between you going about saying women are evil, and hate you, and they are all lying skanky whore bitches, and having some of them take offense, and just having men show up and say,”you deserve to die of cancer because you aren’t what I like women to be.”

Or any of the other things which men just show up, out of nowhere to say to women.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

Hey MRAL-there appears to be a learning moment here:

When someone calls you those names and says those things, they make you feel (even fleetingly) bad right? You do not like those names and things being said about you. Now stretch your mind.

Okay, do you see how someone else of either gender would feel the same way you do when someone insults them? How about when you do it?

Brandon
Brandon
9 years ago

@Bostonian: No, but I think that post was hysterical.

nofatherfigure
nofatherfigure
9 years ago

Ugh. Just Ugh.

I’m cis male, but I’ve had to put up with some shit… two death threats in HS serious enough that the administration got involved, my name being circulated by a teacher to potential employers as an “active satan worshiper”, rumors spread (maliciously) that I’d sacrificed a baby. All because I was punky/goth for the area I was in. Oh and a very scary phone call in my post college days where my daily commute (what buses I took and at what times) was described to me in detail. (This was when I was posting to alt.religion.scientology regularly under a pseudonym.)

I “got over it” because I had a strong social network of friends and family. And by “got over it,” I guess I mean “I got through it…” And really, I don’t consider any of that on the same level as what I’ve heard and seen facing women online.

I guess I’m posting because I’m just shocked to find anyone would actively defend being an asshole as if it is their god-given right.

The way I was raised (small, poor town by a single Mom) the best thing you could be was a gentleman (ok, let’s de-gender it and say gentleperson). I’m not talking landed gentry… but an actual person who is gentle and considerate. You know, things like actually taking into consideration how other people feel and think was an ideal I was taught to aspire to, to always try and learn from my failures to achieve it. [And for a sharp-tongued smart ass it is definitely a hard ideal to achieve!]

What the hell is so wrong with that ideal that people creep out of the woodwork to defend the opposite?

It just makes me sad… sad and judgmental…. sad, judgmental and contemptuous.

Joanna
9 years ago

Isn’t cyber bullying completely illegal in China or somewhere? I wonder how that’s going for them. Are there a barrage of assholes who feel oppressed for not being able to be an asshole online?

Joanna
9 years ago

“I guess I’m posting because I’m just shocked to find anyone would actively defend being an asshole as if it is their god-given right.”

Well here’s the thing, you can be an asshole all you like, just don’t expect people to not call you on it. If you’re gonna be a douche bag for no reason, expect the internet equivalent of having your pants pulled down in public. Eye for an eye and all that.

Wetherby
Wetherby
9 years ago

Well here’s the thing, you can be an asshole all you like, just don’t expect people to not call you on it. If you’re gonna be a douche bag for no reason, expect the internet equivalent of having your pants pulled down in public. Eye for an eye and all that.

…and while I’m not in favor of outing people deliberately, I find it hard to suppress a giggle when trolls inadvertently out themselves – often by something as stupid as posting from the same IP address as another of their identities, or from their workplace, or something equally revealing.

Even high-profile individuals with reputations to protect have slipped up on that particular banana skin, as followers of the summer’s strangely riveting Johann Hari saga will readily confirm. If you’re a newspaper columnist and you fancy trolling under an assumed name, for God’s sake don’t post from your own newspaper’s IP address!

Lauralot
Lauralot
9 years ago

@Bostonian: No, but I think that post was hysterical.

Of course you do, dear. Next time you want to share a hilarious link with us, do us a favor and check fto make sure that you’ve developed past the emotional maturity of a five year old beforehand, mmkay?

Hershele Ostropoler
9 years ago

Spearhafoc:

Hell, the 90s Kid is a one-man-Klan.

One-Man Klan sounds like the worst hip-hop act ever.

Lauralot
Lauralot
9 years ago

To, not fto. My typing is not at its best today.

Hey, MRAL never told us whether or not he’d appreciate getting the Xbox girls treatment.

Jenn93
Jenn93
9 years ago

Soooo basically shorter misogynists “I’m gonna hurl abuse at you because you’re a woman, and if you object, it proves what I said was true.” Circular logic.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
9 years ago

The part that always strikes me most when I see this topic come up is the disproportionate nature of these attacks.

While it is never actually appropriate to threaten to rape and murder anyone, ever, or to even say those sorts of things without real intent or capacity to follow through on it… sometimes it is understandable. For instance, last night my wife ran across the case of the Penn State football coach who is under indictment for 40 counts of sexual assaults on children, and it seems that the head coach and members of the school administration knew and did nothing and continued to provide him with access to kids. My wife says “I hope they all go to prison and get gang-raped to death.” Not really an appropriate thing to say, not really an appropriate thing to wish on anyone. Yet, the amount of anger IS actually proportionate to the level of the offense.

On the other hand, threatening violence against people for often minor disagreements on the Internet is just beyond the pale. And although it happens to men and women both, it is pretty obvious that the attacks on women are leaps and bounds more frequent, more vicious, and more easily provoked by nothing of any consequence. There’s a much deeper level of misogyny out there than most people are willing to accept, even though the evidence is right there and plain to see.

Forrest A. Mow
Forrest A. Mow
9 years ago

I agree that it’s difficult to just ignore this filth, but responding to it can be dangerous. There are depraved psychopaths out there who could take a response as a challenge. I would suggest reporting these creeps &a blocking them from your site. It’s really depressing to consider how many of these degenerates are out there.

shaenon
9 years ago

Ugly. Loser. Dwarf. Quasimodo. Evil. Hot mess. Vile. Twisted. Asshole. Ugliest. Parents should be ashamed. Wouldn’t fuck you with a borrowed dick. Gross. Worthless sack of shit. Trash. Self-absorbed narcissist.

See what I mean? Nobody here has ever called you “ugly” or any variation on “ugly.” We have sometimes sarcastically referred to your repeated belief that you’re ugly, but no one has ever called you those names. We don’t even know what you look like beyond your description of yourself, so it wouldn’t make sense. (I know, I know, that doesn’t stop you and other MRAs from declaring that women you’ve never seen are ugly, fat, etc.)

Those are feelings you have. They do not exist outside your head.

However, you are kind of a hot mess, and your parents should be ashamed that they raised someone who can’t get through a sentence without calling women some kind of slur.

shaenon
9 years ago

Highlight 1: “If your response to #mencallmethings is “But not all men are like that!” you’re probably one of the men who’s like that.”

It’s so true! I was reading some of the milder ones to my husband, and he was horrified; he had no idea women got that level of abuse online. Meanwhile, the hashtag was already getting drowned in men a) shrugging it off as not that bad, because hey, I got called an asshole once, and b) throwing around additional slurs.

Or, as Amanda Marcotte put it: Sweet! Dude provides an example. RT @Fbardamu: Everyone on #MenCallMeThings is a whiny, blubbering baby. Please kill yourselves right now.

nofatherfigure
nofatherfigure
9 years ago

Hope I’m doing this right:

Well here’s the thing, you can be an asshole all you like, just don’t expect people to not call you on it. If you’re gonna be a douche bag for no reason, expect the internet equivalent of having your pants pulled down in public. Eye for an eye and all that.

Sure, you have the absolute right to be an asshole…and you should (and hopefully do) get called on it. How else are you going to learn?

What I don’t understand is a why would one want to be one? And taking it a step further, why would you defend people who are clearly going beyond what society has deemed “proper”?

I mean there is trolling. Something that I’ve done but am not proud about… but name calling, threats, video taping people without consent… stuff like that is so far outside of what should be considered acceptable.

I just realized that I probably sound really young/naive… I’m not, just haven’t seen this level of vindictiveness since I stopped posting on a.r.s in ’94… I didn’t understand then and don’t understand it now.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

I think there’s a real perspective difference in how often is getting insulted “all the time,” too. I suspect that some people say “aw, I got insulted all the time,” and mean that they can remember multiple incidents of it happening–multiple! And others mean literally every day.

I think this comes up in a lot of discussions of street harassment too. Guys who can remember two or three incidents of women catcalling them don’t always understand that they don’t know what it’s like to have it follow you everywhere.

shaenon
9 years ago

For the record, here’s some of the stuff FactFinder brushed off as non-sexist and no big deal:

here’s some to start: ‘I’ll rape your mum, faggot fuck’ “I’ll come to your house and kill you”

#mencallmethings, impersonate me on FB, & make disgusting sexual comments, post my name & # when I helped organize Slutwalk

cunt, whore, ugly, disgusting, cold, feminazi, shut the fuck up bitch, manipulative, crazy, playing the victim, sociopath

Bitch, whore, being sensitive, little girl, dumb, subject of jokes involving physical and sexual assault.

Any variation on fat and/or ugly at this point just makes me yawn.

I’ve had so many emails and messages telling me I deserve a beating, I don’t even keep track any longer.

“13? Judging by the size of your titties, I’d of thought you were 18.”

(censored version) If you keep talking the way you do, you deserved to get raped.

My #mencallmethings moment – receiving an email consisting of 1600 lines plus of the same insult over and over. My crime? Being fat.

I’ve had so many guys tell me how good I must be in bed because I’m fat and therefor will do anyone

I usually get ‘sweetheart’ just before they dismiss my argument as being ‘stupid’. No counter argument.

Will not repeat the violence that’s been directed at me but this one made me laugh “Blubbering self-important herd animal.”

apparently I’m a lesbian… I was unaware until #mencallmethings.

I’M ON ANTI-DEPRESSANTS AND I CANT EVEN JERK OFF CORRECTLY NOW & ITS BECAUSE OF WOMEN SO FUCK ALL YOU INFERIOR COWS

“You should have your tongue ripped out.”

I get sent one rape threat a month on average.

I was once told “get back in the kitchen you ugly bitch” for posting on a Linux board (can’t remember which one now)

Have you ever wanted someone to tell you that your genetalia should be stapled shut with bugs inside, start a blog

How about being choked to death during a forced blowjob? Start a feminist blog.

Not worth the effort to murder: the most recent example of what I had to delete off the blog when #mencallmethings

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
9 years ago

People here have called me ugly, a few times. The reason it hasn’t happened much is because I have not posted a picture of myself. Futrelle made fun of Johnny Appleseed just a few days ago for looking like Dale Gribble. Not that that actually offends me or anything, but I’m just saying, if you’re going to be so hypersensitive about cracks re. physical appearance, you’ve got to police yourselves pretty hard or you just come off as fucking hypocrites.

Furthermore- I think we should clarify that it’s really not about being a woman, it’s about being a FEMINIST. I’d bet money that 95% of the women on that feed are explicitly feminist, and say as much on their blog. There’s a fuck ton of hatred for feminism on the Internet, I’ll fully agree with that, and with good reason. The male feminist bloggers get verbally abused pretty hard as well.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
9 years ago

And I have no sympathy for feminists who get flamed. Seriously, if the KKK started a feed called #SocietyCallsMeThings, would you feel bad for them? I know I wouldn’t.

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

Hey, MRAL never told us whether or not he’d appreciate getting the Xbox girls treatment.

Don’t. Sinking to that level isn’t worth it. There is really no reason to ever repeat that behavior. And I am in fact not joking. It is sufficient to just call him an asshole and keep going.

and MRAL, you are an asshole. The difference between only calling a specific person who behaves like an asshole, an asshole, and the constant street harrassment that women get for being women, is like night and day. Pretending one is as bad as the other, especially since you *claim* everyone in RL think syou’re nice (Heeheehee, pull the other one!), is pretty stupid. Especially for someone who has a high IQ.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
9 years ago

It’s Amis ALL THE WAY DOWN! >:D

Belated, but I absolutely adore you, Ami. ^^

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
9 years ago

Sure, you have the absolute right to be an asshole…and you should (and hopefully do) get called on it. How else are you going to learn?

What I don’t understand is a why would one want to be one?

Perhaps a certain level of cognitive dissonance? When I get called on something I often get super cranky and defensive about it, but then usually I ponder it for a while and sometimes decide I was in the wrong and end up feeling bad about what I did, and then either apologize or just resolve not to do it again.

But every now and then — especially as a teenager — I would act like an asshole and know I was being an asshole, but the prospect of facing that reality was too painful so I would just compound assholishness upon assholishness until I has myself dug in good and deep and the whole situation was driven into such a clusterfuck that my behavior was retroactively almost justified (“maybe I’m being harsh, but look at how the enemy is totally yelling at me!”) and I had enough asshole layers built up to insulate me from the reality of how stupid and ridiculous I was acting.

It’s certainly possible to work yourself into such a froth that you start reasoning that “X person is evil because I hate them!” and finding no flaw in that logic — though I’m honestly not sure how that works for someone you’ve never even met; I’ve always had to feel that way on a personal level. And I basically have grown out of it by now, for the most part. :p

Molly Ren
9 years ago

“But every now and then — especially as a teenager — I would act like an asshole and know I was being an asshole, but the prospect of facing that reality was too painful so I would just compound assholishness upon assholishness until I has myself dug in good and deep and the whole situation was driven into such a clusterfuck that my behavior was retroactively almost justified (“maybe I’m being harsh, but look at how the enemy is totally yelling at me!”) and I had enough asshole layers built up to insulate me from the reality of how stupid and ridiculous I was acting.”

Damn, Bagelsan, is this how it works? I always wondered what went on in people’s minds when they just kept digging themselves in deeper.

Wetherby
Wetherby
9 years ago

But every now and then — especially as a teenager — I would act like an asshole and know I was being an asshole, but the prospect of facing that reality was too painful so I would just compound assholishness upon assholishness until I has myself dug in good and deep and the whole situation was driven into such a clusterfuck that my behavior was retroactively almost justified (“maybe I’m being harsh, but look at how the enemy is totally yelling at me!”) and I had enough asshole layers built up to insulate me from the reality of how stupid and ridiculous I was acting.

I recently found a load of backup CD-Rs of a laptop that I had in the late 1990s, and thought I might as well import all my emails from back then. Naturally, I couldn’t resist re-reading a few, and… well, let’s just say that I’m considerably more relaxed and at peace with the world now than I was then.

Not that I was ever a misogynist douchebag, mind you.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
9 years ago

The Xbox thing? I’ve already mentioned that, while I would be taken aback, I would enjoy the attention. It’s not ideal attention, but it’s better than being ignored. That guy is obviously of paramount importance to those girls, because all they’re talking about it him.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

Seriously, if the KKK started a feed called #SocietyCallsMeThings, would you feel bad for them?

Perhaps you can explain how this is a relevant question.