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alpha males bad boys I am making a joke I'm totally being sarcastic MGTOW misogyny sex

MGOTWers in Space

Women always go for the alien alpha assholes.

So a six man crew has just touched down on Earth after a nearly two-year Russian expedition to mars. Well, that’s not quite true. The five men have returned from an imaginary trip to a fake mars; in reality, they spent the entirety of the “mission” sitting in some trailers in a parking garage in Moscow. Except for a brief interlude in which several of the fake marsonauts took a brief stroll on the surface of fake mars – also inside a trailer in the parking lot.

The idea behind all this? To see if six dudes could manage to stay sane while stuck in cramped quarters together for the length of time it would take to go to mars and back.

One of the many weird details about this weird faux-mission is that it was an all-dude affair. None of the marsonauts were women. Not, evidently, because the mission planners thought that women would be less capable than men of handing the pressure of a fake (or even a real) mission to mars. But because if they sent any ladies along, the men would want to have sex with them. As one news account explains:

Controversially, the experiment did not include a woman, with researchers clearly wanting to avoid it degenerating into a scientific version of television’s sexual tension-filled “Big Brother”.

When the “returning” marsonauts stepped out of their “spaceship” at the end of the experiment, the same news account notes,

They were each presented with a flower by young female researchers in white coats as a reward for their endeavours.

It has not been confirmed if the marsonauts popped boners at the sight.

I for one support the notion of male-only spaceflights, real or phony. And not just because the ladies would turn our space capsules into deep space slutmobiles. Just imagine what would happen if a female-infested space crew had an encounter of the third kind with some really handsome space alien dudes – the interstellar equivalents of Brad Pitt. You know what would happen next: those dirty sluts would sell out our planet for a ride on the little green cock carousel.

Ah, who am I kidding, those sluts would sneer at the little green men, holding out for the tall greys.

Audiovidual supplement: Three videos. One, Rachel Maddow talking about the mission at its halfway point. Two, a brief look at everyday life on the “spaceship.” And last but definitely not least: a video of the fake-mars walk. Inside a trailer. You have to watch at least a few seconds of that one.

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Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

I wonder if the choice to go all-male had to do with an incident on a previous simulated space mission. From Mary Roach’s (awesome) Packing For Mars:

The Russian crew commander, Vasily Lukyanyuk, pushed Canadian crew member Judith Lapierre out of range of the cameras and French-kissed her twice, against her protestations. […] In the aftermath, the hatch between the two modules was shut, the Japanese crew member quit, and Lapierre complained to IBMP and to the Canadian Space Agency. IBMP psychologists, she says, were unsupportive, accusing her of overreacting. Despite having signed a confidentiality agreement and aspiring to become an astronaut, Lapierre told her story to the press. To quote IBMP psychologist Valery Gushin, she “washed her dirty clothes in public.”

On the other hand, the actual non-simulated International Space Station and many shuttle missions have had co-ed crews with no (public) incidents. But I wonder if this had something to do with the decision to exclude women from this simulation.

clairedammit
clairedammit
9 years ago

Holly, so one man couldn’t behave himself and thus no women get to go on the next one? Sounds about right.

blitzgal
9 years ago

Sex happens in all male environments all of the time. Often consensually.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Yep! It’d make more sense if they said “okay, guess the next mission is all women,” and more sense still if they said “okay, guess the next mission is all people who have proven themselves capable of acting like goddamn grownups and will be held seriously accountable if they don’t,” but neither of those is The Way Things Work Around Here.

Sigh.

ithiliana
9 years ago

Wow, are they behind the times!

Studies done back in the 1950s showed women would be better suited to space!

http://www.the-aps.org/press/releases/09/42.htm
l

taurose
9 years ago

“Controversially, the experiment did not include a woman, with researchers clearly wanting to avoid it degenerating into a scientific version of television’s sexual tension-filled “Big Brother”.

In Mary Roach’s book, Packing for Mars, she discusses a similar “fake mission to Mars” that was both co-ed and international… It didn’t go the full term because of the male Cosmonauts sexually harassing the female (Canadian, I believe) astronaut to the point that it made both her and others (male and female) uncomfortable.

Spearhafoc
9 years ago

Another name for the Tall Greys is the Large-Nosed Greys. You know what they say about Greys with big noses, don’t you?

Whatever, all the chicks are after Nordics anyway: tall, blond, walking around in their shiny jumpsuits like they own the place. And if they’re not into Nordics, they’re all about the Reptilians. “Bad boys” nothing; what really gets the ladies wet are the semi-physical manifestations of every negative impulse in the known universe.

katz
9 years ago

Proof that there’s no substantive difference between space missions and LAN parties. Additional evidence: Bad food, no showers.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Additional additional evidence: Rock Band.

Which I hope they have on the real Mars mission. That would be awesome.

(Best/worst song choice: “Major Tom.”)

katz
9 years ago

All I can say is XD

Hershele Ostropoler
9 years ago

The idea behind all this? To see if six dudes could manage to stay sane while stuck in cramped quarters together for the length of time it would take to go to mars and back.

Am I the only person who heard the Odd Couple theme when reading this?

I heard there was an incident when a cosmonaut sexuallly assaulted a Canadian astronaut. Has anyone mentioned this in the comments yet?

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

I can’t wait for NWO to log on and tell us all she must have been wearing a really alluring spacesuit.

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

I’d love it if we could ship MRAs and MGTOWS to another planet, namely Mars seeing as men are from there anyway (ain’t in funny that Venus is the one that rhymes with a very important manly part though?) Anyway, they’d be happy, we’d be happy…wooo everyone is happy!!!

aww crap but what about the PUAs?

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

also slutmobile is my new favorite word

magdelyn
9 years ago

Wait…what?

NWOslave
NWOslave
9 years ago

@ithiliana
“Studies done back in the 1950s showed women would be better suited to space!”

Since there is nothing under heaven or earth that a woman can’t do better according to, “a study,” or from personal experience by the gang, why bother even saying it? Let’s just save a whole lot of time and go under the assumption there is nothing women can’t do better, are more honest, caring, loving, Ad infinitum.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

Done! 😀

NWO has spoken! :3

zhinxy
9 years ago

NWO – or it could have been a recommendation to the space program based on our muscle mass, bone density, fat level…

or..
No, men just suck
and government scientists in the 1950’s believed that more than anybody!

For the record, I don’t think either sex is “better suited to space,” whatever the hell that would actually mean, But I do understand the reasoning the NASA scientists used.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

I dunno about ALLL women vs ALLLLL men… but let’s just compare Ami vs NWO for 1 woman vs 1 man 😀

Better in space: Ami

Better on Earth: Ami

More caring: Ami

More compassionate: Ami

More paranoid: NWO

More angry: NWO

More cute: Ami

More awesome: Ami

More catlicious: Ami

More hateful: NWO

More hatful: Ami

Better at pretending to be NWO: Ami

😀

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

zhinxy | November 6, 2011 at 11:21 pm

NWO – or it could have been a recommendation to the space program based on our muscle mass, bone density, fat level…

Nope XD b/c all female physicality that has ANY practical use is inferior to men’s… XD

Remember the NWO mantra:

Men = good

women = maximum suckage xD

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
9 years ago

If they do Major Tom they also have to do Rocket Man.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

Hey NWO, it’s mostly you and me and Zhinxy on again 😀

I know you had your 28 hour church this morning, but now you don’t, sooooo….. 😀

Time for NWO vs Zhinxy re: Libertarianism w/ Ami as the referee/roundcardgirl/mascot 😀

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Sometimes I think many of NWO’s problems would be solved with a thorough understanding of the scientific method, and more generally of just the philosophy of knowledge. Like if he actually understood how you can go from not knowing a thing to knowing a thing, he’d understand the significance of evidence and the difference between questioning and denial. He’d learn the humility inherent in the search for truth, the difference between a conjecture and a theory, the difference between a biased result and a result that challenges your own biases.

Okay, that’s probably not the real problem here. But it’s fun to think about.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

I’ve wondered for a while HOW NWO knows things and comes to conclusions and if he started with a narrative and desperately googles when we ask him (which would explain a LOT… and he admitted as much w/ his hilarious holocaust denial website mistake xD ) or if he actually came to his conclusions by coming upon facts and evidence…

so I always ask him to lay out how he got from A to B to C and where’s the evidence he saw that convinced him, or where the evidence is of all his conspiracy theories that convinced him they were true…

so far.. nothing xD

zhinxy
9 years ago

Hippodemeia – Yes. and furthermore, you mentioned Major Tom and we’re talking about space and stuff, and so we must honor the memory of the greatest sweet awkward nerdy scientist pudgy dude ever to be a meth cook murdered on the orders of a fellow meth cook he tried to make friends with.

Damn, I miss you, Gale. 🙁

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Eh, I think a lot of it is just misplaced ego. It’s very exciting to know something that other people don’t. And there’s two ways to do that:

1) Study, read, experiment, learn, until you’ve gained knowledge most people don’t have. Hard goddamn work.

2) Believe something absurd and refuse to change your mind. That way, you also have “knowledge” most people don’t have, and you can totally lord it over them! Much easier!

zhinxy
9 years ago

Holly, I think that NWO is deeply convinced his mechanical technician experience gives him a great and true understanding of science and logic and methodology, and how dare we tell him otherwise, honestly.

zhinxy
9 years ago

Adding – There’s a very interesting thing about crankypants internet trolls, racist or otherwise, or should I say FROTHING racist or otherwise. It’s the idea that science and engineering and tech careers are still mostly white male, and such, but this is all because they are meritocracies, with all the smart people, and hard numbers, and this and that, unlike all them dang soft stupid humanites and medicine and law. Because of this, when they look for an opinion on humanities, medicine and law, they automatically consider the word of a mechanical engineer sacrosanct, because he is in the smart people club of mechanical engineering, and thus would know more about history than some goddamn historian.

STEM cred, in this world, is your “smart person” pass. And so the bigger the STEM cred, the better the expertise on EVERYTHING.

zhinxy
9 years ago

And thus the STEM cred of any troll is loudly trumpeted regardless of relevance in the eyes of anybody who doesn’t subscribe to this worldview.

zhinxy
9 years ago

This does not so much apply to the STEM cred of women, poc, etc, because of affirmative action and such, of course. Heck, I was a military electrician’s mate on the way to my endless and ongoing quest to become a History Prof. Which I think is the real thing that’s going to affirm me as a professional historian, probably because I’m a woman…

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

@Zhinxy I’m a social worker… where does that put me? :3

zhinxy
9 years ago

You are the scum of the earth, and steal children from their fathers to sell to feminists.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

I actually haven’t done any stealing….

…yet

zhinxy
9 years ago

lazy ass bureaucrat

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

It’s interesting how if you take some of the professions we know ppl are here, they do kinda fit the MRA idea of “male” vs “female” xD

You’re a history major (i.e. dirty academic), Ithiliana is an English professor (i.e. dirty academic), I’m a social worker (i.e. vile succubus),.. Holly’s studying nursing and she works at a hospital where no doubt she steals the blood of men in car crashes to give to women with ingrown toenails…

NWO’s a mechanic (i.e. all knowing, all seeing brilliant man forced to use his hands over his brilliant mind) .. Brandon’s a filmmaker…. MRAL’s a professional gary stu…

zhinxy
9 years ago

That settles it. Nature over nurture. So we should all get nurturing!

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

History professors being well known for their nurturing!

zhinxy
9 years ago

Well, now that it’s all about feelings and telling people they were oppressed and teaching them to blame the white men, it sure is! As long as you’re worth nurturing… Nurturing isn’t for those we name OPPRESSOR!

p.s. We’re totally spamming. 😉
women also can’t stop talking XD

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

@zhinxy srsly though, it is interesting that we have a lot of commenters who either are studying or practice law… or are on the frontline of stuff (hospital staff, social worker, etc) but none of our experiences either studying or working with all the stuff MRAs complain about (law,, treatment of abuse victims, shelters, etc) count to the MRAs who just “know” things xD

zhinxy
9 years ago

That. Really, it IS fascinating.

Ami Angelwings
9 years ago

Oh and a history major in you, and yet they lecture on about history as if THEY KNOW even if their knowledge of history comes from the same place a lot of what they “know” comes from, which is conversations in MRA spaces xD Like there’s a lot of weird blind acceptance of what other MRAs say… it’s the whole thing ppl do, where b/c ANOTHER person says something authoritatively, and it’s something you want to believe, you just take that and remember it as a fact in your mind that has been backed up, not because YOU heard the evidence but b/c you assume the person who said it is saying it from evidence. xD

Comet
Comet
9 years ago

“You know what would happen next: those dirty sluts would sell out our planet for a ride on the little green cock carousel.

Ah, who am I kidding, those sluts would sneer at the little green men, holding out for the tall greys.”

Funniest manboobz post evar

OSHIII
OSHIII
9 years ago

Fucking hell, man, Mars needs women astronauts too!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

“NWO’s a mechanic (i.e. all knowing, all seeing brilliant man forced to use his hands over his brilliant mind) .. Brandon’s a filmmaker…. MRAL’s a professional gary stu…”

I thought they were all professional victims. Meanwhile, I’m a journalist (makes up and publishes lies in order to destroy the lives of good male polticians, even though I actually write about entertainment) and Lauralot seems to be a college student (thus depriving some poor young man of the academic career he could have had without affirmative action, and also making her uterus shrivel up and die from too much reading).

firebee
9 years ago

“And thus the STEM cred of any troll is loudly trumpeted regardless of relevance in the eyes of anybody who doesn’t subscribe to this worldview.”

Or the asserted credentials, at least. I often have doubts about the reality.

firebee
9 years ago

Heck, and I might as well say — engineer, the kind with an actual degree in engineering and who actually works as an engineer. Which probably makes me forty-seven kinds of evil, right?

evilwhitemalempire
evilwhitemalempire
9 years ago

None of the marsonauts were women. Not, evidently, because the mission planners thought that women would be less capable than men of handing the pressure of a fake (or even a real) mission to mars.
***************

Well, they sure don’t seem very capable of handling tool kits.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
9 years ago

I’m in STEM! Biology — which is the ishy squishy girly icky vagina pussy wussy wimp stupid science that never uses math. And if it hadn’t been before all us ladies joined, it sure is now. 😀

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
9 years ago

Well, they sure don’t seem very capable of handling tool kits.

Ooh, they should ask us! We manbooberz are pro at dealing with tools.

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