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off topic video

Off-topic: BEARS! Well, just one bear, actually. In a hammock.

It’s a lazy Saturday here at Manboobz Manor, so here’s a bear in a hammock.

 

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Hippodameia
Hippodameia
8 years ago

The bear was probably thinking “it was so thoughtful of the humans to put this out for me.”

BigKitty
BigKitty
8 years ago

Alls I can say is, wish I could be a bear! Looks so comfy.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

That hammock must be pretty strong. How much do black bears weigh?

Also, great, now I want a pet bear.

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

How much do black bears weigh?

According to Wikipedia, males are about 130–550 lb, females about 90–240 lb, on average. They’re pretty small as bears go.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
8 years ago

According to this link, the average males weigh around 250 lbs and the average females weigh around 150 lbs. http://www.americanbear.org/Size.htm

I don’t want a pet bear, but they are fun to watch. XD

Holly Pervocracy
8 years ago

I’m guessing that bear’s about 200-250 pounds, so not a totally unreasonable load for a hammock.

Also, even though I know the bear does not want to snuggle, and I know that very bad things would happen if I tried, I still want to snuggle with that bear.

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

Both bears and squirrels are things I wish I could give a hug to, without being mauled or bitten. And many large cats. Oh, well.

Benjamin Geiger
8 years ago

Hell, I (at 350 lb) weigh more than most black bears, then.

One of my friends took a brilliant photo of a black bear a few weeks ago. It’s up on Facebook. I tend to shoot smaller animals… I’ve got more photos of squirrels than I know what to do with. It doesn’t hurt that the squirrels on the campus of the college I attend are practically tame…

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

@ Holly – I always feel like that when I see polar bears, and then I remember that actually trying to do it would make me an excellent candidate for the Darwin Awards.

Still…soft fluffy belly. I want to rub my face it it.

Benjamin Geiger
8 years ago

PS: If you’re in the Atlanta area, you may have seen that photo on TV recently; one of the TV stations did a story about it.

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

Of course, the biggest predators we have where I live are coyotes. The only bears I’ve seen in person were the Asian black bears at the Roger Williams Park Zoo, a.k.a. moon bears. They’re pretty cool.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_bear

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Aw! That bear looks so happy just chillin’ in the hammock. All he needs is some iced tea and a book.

I’m about 3 minutes from DT Austin, and I see all sorts of wildlife in the neighborhood. There’s always possums and raccoons, and the other night I saw a fox. I also have not one but two owls in the oak trees–I had no idea how noisy they could be.

darksidecat
8 years ago

I saw the title and got all exicted* and then saw some literal bear in a hammock!

*this isn’t true, I am not personally a fan of a lot of body hair…but that was my first thought XD

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

On many other blogs I’d have assumed the other sort of bear, but on this one I was expecting an actual bear. Our host’s love of fuzzy animals is showing.

(Waits for Meller to show up and start babbling about how of course we feminists love vicious creatures like bears.)

mistressofboogie
mistressofboogie
8 years ago

Oh, this is too relaxing! Much more harmonious than all the usual misogyny and rape jokes. Can’t you just become bearboobz and leave it at that?

Moewicus
Moewicus
8 years ago

Bears, Porcupines–just another day in the funhouse mirror of values that is feminism!!! Just like you do to Real Women and SOFGs (Sweet Old Fashioned Girls), you want to take the God Given bond between humans and pets/women and throw a vicious animal into the mix!!!!1 I bet you all want a Bear Dominatrix, too, whips, chains, ballgags and everything!!!! Myself, I’ll take Sweet Old Fashioned Neko Girls any day, no chains or feminism necessary!!!!!!!one

KITTENS AND FLUFFINESS!!!!
David K. Moewicus

ohiken
ohiken
8 years ago

Why did I get an ad for chinese wives from youtube. there? I’ve never gotten an ad for chinese wives before.

ckitching
ckitching
8 years ago

You think you can control these GODLESS KILLING MACHINES? Sure, they look cute and cuddly like a teddy bear, but turn your back on them for even a second, and they’ll tear your head off.

bekabot
bekabot
8 years ago

One week it’s the cats who are poised to take over the world; another week it’s the bears. We humans are doomed. (We’re outflanked: if the cats don’t get us the bears will and vice versa; if it comes down to a draw they’ll divvy up the spoils between them, etc., etc. I’m telling ya.)

Moewicus is going to inherit a world covered in sandboxes, scratching posts and chew toys, and his job will alternate between stringing up hammocks and processing honey. It goes without saying that he won’t be allowed to reproduce. Enjoy, Moewicus, enjoy.

Pecunium
8 years ago

I remember Samson, the hot tub bear (he was fond of soaking in hot tubs in Monrovia, he was captured and lived the rest of his days in the San Francisco Zoo).

Dracula
Dracula
8 years ago

I think we may be overreacting a little. Perhaps these bears are just tired of the pressures and constraints of bear society, and are seeking to make their own choices and embrace the comforts of the human lifestyle. What we might be seeing here, my friends, are Bears Going Their Own Way.

Bee
Bee
8 years ago

Dracula, obviously it’s a lazy she-bear, waiting for her poor, put-upon beargina partner to come home from a hard day of manly labor with some food! Clearly she’s just sitting there, all pretty, waiting for someone to give her a salmon or a car or whatever. The very next man-bear she sees, she’ll probably file a false sexual harassment or paternity suit, wait for the bear-police to take him away on her word, and bear-laugh all the way to the bear-bank.

OSHIII
OSHIII
8 years ago

If there’s one critter that recognizes the value of taking it easy, it’s the bears. In fact, the only reason the bears didn’t invent hammocks first was because they didn’t have thumbs.

havebookswilltravel
8 years ago

anybody wish, or imagine, that this bear is humming a Bob Marley song while relaxing? I’m just going to go ahead say this true because….evolution?

10G
10G
8 years ago

@havebook….yeah, I can see that! Awesome! 😉

Heather
8 years ago

I just wanted to say that I really enjoy reading your blog. I want to see what those crazy men are up to without the hassle of weeding through the internet. Man Boobz is both funny and informative.
😛

Happy Anti-MRA
Happy Anti-MRA
8 years ago

Just to change the subject a bit, has anyone been watching PUA/Game advocates ‘debate’ with Paul Elam? It’s absolutely hilarious. Elam claims that the secret to success with women is to… get this… not hit on them. Whereas the ‘Game’ advocate is all about, well, his version of ‘Game’.

Incredible really… How many MRAs does it take to work out how to talk to a woman? Er, they still haven’t decided.

What the cretins don’t realise is that feminists benefit from the sexual revolutions that they helped to create. They just don’t like sleazy, desperate guys.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

How dare bears look so cuddly but also maul you if you get too close or try to cuddle their adorable cubs! It’s like those slutty slut sluts in their slut clothes looking all sexy, but then not letting you have sex with them! Jerks.

@hellkell, that seems pretty close to a city to be seeing that much wildlife! My family used to live about 15 minutes from the city, and my mom very nearly hit a cougar on her way home one evening. But that was probably 20 years ago, and the city’s expanded; my dad still lives there, but it’s only 3 minutes from town now. No cougars anymore. Coyotes for sure, but they’re brave creatures and will venture right into the city sometimes.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Speaking of animals in people space shenanigans, check out this from the Twitter feed of the British railway service for an explanation of why I’m really missing the UK right now.

“Passengers are currently unable to alight from trains at Shepley due to reports by police of a lion in the area.”

It’s just so polite and restrained. Sorry for not allowing you to disembark, passengers, but you see, there may be a lion in the village.

Then again, it is the UK, where our most fearsome predator is the badger. Watch out – if one gets into your hammock and you try to get in too it may make a funny noise at you.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
8 years ago

I honestly think that when all the animals spontaneously gain sentience and take over the world, the only reason they’ll keep some humans around is because we have fingernails (for skritchies) and we can construct hammocks. Seriously, every damn animal loves hammocks; my various pet mice and rats loved ’em too. (My pet mouse used to have a teensy fleece hammock that was all of 3 inches square and she built little nests in it. SO CUTE.)

…Hm, this comment isn’t very man-hating. Uh… and when the animal revolution comes they will preferentially keep women and kill off the men, because women are on average slightly more dexterous and tend to groom their nails better! Boom. Nailed it.

Benjamin Geiger
8 years ago

Cassandra:

Is it a honey badger? ‘Cause if so, it don’t give a shit.

Wetherby
Wetherby
8 years ago

I saw a couple of dead badgers by the road the other day, about twenty feet apart. It looked like a lovers’ suicide pact.

Pecunium
8 years ago

Badgers are not to be trifled with.

Tea-cakes perhaps, but never trifle.