So yesterday I quoted some random Spearheader who described women (well, white women in particular) as “complete parasitical whores roaming the landscape spreading VD like Johnny Appleseed and fucking men over.”
One reader wondered if Mr. Appleseed really went about spreading VD. So I did a little research, and it turns out that it is exceedingly unlikely that Mr. Appleseed – who actually was a real person — spread anything other than the magic of apples. And his Swedenborgian beliefs.
Why? Because Mr. Appleseed – real name John Chapman – was what these days we might call a Man Going His Own Way. Seems he didn’t have much truck with the ladies, according to one contemporary account quoted in his Wikipedia entry:
On one occasion Miss PRICE’s mother asked Johnny if he would not be a happier man, if he were settled in a home of his own, and had a family to love him. He opened his eyes very wide–they were remarkably keen, penetrating grey eyes, almost black–and replied that all women were not what they professed to be; that some of them were deceivers; and a man might not marry the amiable woman that he thought he was getting, after all.
So what led poor Mr. Appleseed to these dire thoughts about women? Apparently the underage girl he hoped to some day get with was more into dudes who weren’t him:
Now we had always heard that Johnny had loved once upon a time, and that his lady love had proven false to him. Then he said one time he saw a poor, friendless little girl, who had no one to care for her, and sent her to school, and meant to bring her up to suit himself, and when she was old enough he intended to marry her. He clothed her and watched over her; but when she was fifteen years old, he called to see her once unexpectedly, and found her sitting beside a young man, with her hand in his, listening to his silly twaddle.
That ungrateful little strumpet!
I peeped over at Johnny while he was telling this, and, young as I was, I saw his eyes grow dark as violets, and the pupils enlarge, and his voice rise up in denunciation, while his nostrils dilated and his thin lips worked with emotion. How angry he grew! He thought the girl was basely ungrateful. After that time she was no protegé of his.
But Appleseed, despite giving up on women in the real world, held out hope for the afterlife – explaining to others that he expected to have two spirit wives all his own after he died. Which I guess is the 19th century equivalent of the MGTOWers today who fantasize about the sexy robot ladies who will eventually, it is hoped, make actual human females – with their troubling “thoughts” and “needs” and “desires” of their own – obsolete.
Mr. Appleseed’s quest to remain alone was probably also helped by the fact that – if the illustration I found on Wikipedia is any indication – he looked a bit like Dale Gribble from King of the Hill. Only much, much sloppier, with long hair. Oh, and instead of wearing a baseball cap, he wore “a tin utensil which answered both as a cap and a mush pot.”
So, yeah, a creepy weirdo who hates women — definitely an MGTOWer all the way.
Oh, except that he actually did something with his life — you know, helping spread apple trees to a big portion of the midwest — instead of spending all his time going on about how all women are whores.
DKM SAYS: Unlike the modern women we are all cursed by, you can talk to collector’s dolls,
He talks to dolls?
But here’s the REAL question: do they talk back???????????
@ithiliana: Don’t be silly! If they’re his perfect women they would never talk
back!@Bagelsan: *lip quivers* But but but in the HORROR movies they do!
Then they start moving around the room at night.
Then they get WEAPONS.
And next thing you know, DKM is in little chopped up bits all over the house.
And it started with an innocent conversation and, I think, feeding them after midnight.
True story, most of my worst nightmares as a child involved cute fluffy animals. Could it be that, along with dolls and small animals, DKM is also sexually attracted to clowns? HORROR TRIFECTA!
My worse nightmares as a child involved people who looked exactly like my family acting entirely different and (usually) wanting to kill me.
But after reading Stephen King’s clown novel (IT?), I gave up on Stephen King. And developed a horror of clowns.
Basically substitute in cats and/or chihuahuas for family members and that sounds like my kid nightmares. :p At least when it was velociraptors I didn’t feel like a dumbass explaining my oh-so-scary dreams to my parents! (“You don’t understand! It was an evil chihuahua! And the doggy door was unlocked! THE DOGGY DOOR WAS UNLOCKED!”)
Chihuahua’s can be pretty darn mean–I usually get along just fine with animals, but the three times I’ve been attacked by dogs, TWICE it was a chihuahua. They don’t seem to like me (others I’ve seen would have attacked but were on leads).
Awww, c’mon, Meller, I wanted to know about the post 1914 (or post 1860) history which is actually all LIES!!!1!1!
Unlike the modern women we are all cursed by, you can talk to collector’s dolls, they are exceptionally beautiful, and you can give them feminine personalities. Modern women, even if they aren’t all feminists, really STINK, and you can’t do a thing with them.
-If that was a serious statement, I feel genuinely sad. 🙁
Also, for heaven’s sakes, Meller. I LIKE talking about Austrian economics. The only thing is that what you think amounts to “talking about Austrian economics” amounts to screaming something like “GOLD! GOLD! GOLD! WORTHLESS PAPER MONEY! SOON YOU WILL SEE WHEN IT ALL TUMBLES DOWN!” Maybe you could take one of the web courses at Mises. I was thinking of doing that myself. See how well your email assignments are rated when they’re nothing but screeching about the new world order = Praxeology, dammit!
Pecunium – I was joking with the All You Zombies ultimate libertarian story thing 😉 Still, yes. I can’t say I know a LOT of people who knew him personally, though I do know one or two, and I don’t hold much with trying to label him for my philosophy or anyone elses. I am quite a fan, but still haven’t read his whole body of work.
Also, phooey! I wasn’t born in the 70’s so all you old fen and your tales make me really upset that the time machine doesn’t work. I continue to work on the next great libertarian sci fi novel and urban fantasy stories co-written with Ami. Then I shall show you all!
@Zhinxy: I used to love Heinlein’s novels until I got boobs, and although the one time I met him, he was srs wonderful (a con in the early 70s where they did blood donations in his honor), I cannot read most of his stuff any more (I got through Friday , and Farnham’s Freehold, but there was this one where a father, daughter, and their dates, or something, end up the only ones not blown up and spend the entire time they’re escaping from the planet or whatever arguing about who the leader is, and I gave up).
I kept my copy of MOON IS A HARSH MISTRESS and sometimes read for fun, focusing grimly on the computer who is my favorite character (speaking of which Janet Kagan’s HELLSPARK which features a WOMAN space captain and her becoming sentient computer who doesn’t want to download into android fluffy body and have sex with Manly Captain, just rocks!).
And I wanted to say, though I’ve been skimming (grading argh), the posts you’ve made on libertarian issues are the only ones I’ve ever seen that made me want to learn more AND did not immediately make me run away.
Jesus, DKM. Jesus.
That…that was me. I was talking about the difference between a robogirl with no true AI, and the robogirl created by the character Warren Mears on “Buffy”. who, rather than making his robogirl voice-activated, programmed her to suffer feedback if she didn’t respond to him. In other words, she suffered if she didn’t obey. I wondered which you would choose.
I’m not exactly surprised by your choice, but I am a bit stunned by the pride with which you declare it. It makes me wonder if we can expect you to follow in Warren Mears’s footsteps in other ways.
ithiliana – I have never really been able to be the regularly-con-going sci-fi nerd I know in my heart I should be! Ah well. I really want to check out Hellspark now.
And thankyou 🙂
I’m curious, do you envision these robogirls being sentient and self-aware, or does that not matter so long as they can fake it well enough?
@Seraph: we all know Warren came to a bad end.
DKM talking to all the pretty dollies in his house is now #1 on my Creepiest Things Read On Man Boobz list.
Meller basically is trying to back out of an argument he can’t win xD
Which is sad b/c I want to hear more about his 9/11 conspiracy theories xD
Arguing with pretty kitties or bunny rabbits would make more sense.
I’m both! 😀
Also, why would anyone want to argue with a bunny? I realize that this is one of the least irrational things Meller has said today, but still – huh?
Meller really is the gift that keeps on giving. Just when you think he can’t get any weirder, you get to the doll collection that he has conversations with.
I dunno o:
I’m an Angel catbunny, but everybody still argues w/ me xD
I’m beginning to think he’s really someone’s (very poor) idea of a male chauvinist AI. He’s been commenting similar copy-pasta in several threads, and the responses he’s been making could have been canned in advance, pre-programmed ripostes to certain keywords in other people’s comments.
If he isn’t actually a Mellerbot, than how hard would it be to create one? 😉
now I’m imagining Meller as Pop-Pop in the attic on Arrested Development:
MellerWhat am I doing, arguing with women(?)
[looks in pants, sees penis]
Reading that, I guess you aren’t arguing with me, so we accept your admission of error on the subject of 9-11.
Well played, Pecunium and penis. Well played.
Not only do I discuss things with my dolls–and fluffies–but they are each considerably more appreciative and intelligent than any bitchpost that I observe on this blog!
Molly Ren–talk about creepy! Any exchange of messages with you would give the shivers to a block of dry ice!
Ami Anglewings–I don’t know where you got the idea that I have the least bit of personal or sex attraction to you! I was simply being kind when I mentioned that you were cute and feminine compared to OTHER MANBOOBZETTES! As the other women(?) here have the level of male attraction comparable to three-day-old dishwater, or discarded peanut shells, it really isn’t that much of a compliment. I have five dainty and lovely little China dolls that are illustrative of the middle Q’ing period, c.1780-1825 or so; in their clothing and hairstyling, etc, and believe me, compared with any one of them, you, and modern women like you, probably wouldn’t even be recognisable as a human female at all! I didn’t want to say this, because I don’t want to sound unkind, but get over yourself, already! You are just NOT all that cute, attractive or sexy and modern women like you never will be!!
We don’t have robocuties yet, but we HAVE dainty, lovable, cute, beautiful, and wonderfully feminine collector dolls ( whose femininity “personalities” can be pretty much limited only to one’s imagination) your obsolescence as pushy, aggressive, over-educated, and arch-competitive feminist women is in the bag, whether it takes a century or two to produce wifebots reliably or not! For a while some men, not knowing any better, will put up with you, your insane demands, your kvetching about discrimination and “glass ceilings”, your intruding yourselves in men’s occupations and professions, men’ s clubs and social activities, and your interminable putdowns, but I know who will have the last laugh!
As far as any “argument” with feminists goes, I already won pure and simple! Meller 1–Feminoids-0
Heres one for you, AmiAngelwings—xD !