So yesterday I quoted some random Spearheader who described women (well, white women in particular) as “complete parasitical whores roaming the landscape spreading VD like Johnny Appleseed and fucking men over.”
One reader wondered if Mr. Appleseed really went about spreading VD. So I did a little research, and it turns out that it is exceedingly unlikely that Mr. Appleseed – who actually was a real person — spread anything other than the magic of apples. And his Swedenborgian beliefs.
Why? Because Mr. Appleseed – real name John Chapman – was what these days we might call a Man Going His Own Way. Seems he didn’t have much truck with the ladies, according to one contemporary account quoted in his Wikipedia entry:
On one occasion Miss PRICE’s mother asked Johnny if he would not be a happier man, if he were settled in a home of his own, and had a family to love him. He opened his eyes very wide–they were remarkably keen, penetrating grey eyes, almost black–and replied that all women were not what they professed to be; that some of them were deceivers; and a man might not marry the amiable woman that he thought he was getting, after all.
So what led poor Mr. Appleseed to these dire thoughts about women? Apparently the underage girl he hoped to some day get with was more into dudes who weren’t him:
Now we had always heard that Johnny had loved once upon a time, and that his lady love had proven false to him. Then he said one time he saw a poor, friendless little girl, who had no one to care for her, and sent her to school, and meant to bring her up to suit himself, and when she was old enough he intended to marry her. He clothed her and watched over her; but when she was fifteen years old, he called to see her once unexpectedly, and found her sitting beside a young man, with her hand in his, listening to his silly twaddle.
That ungrateful little strumpet!
I peeped over at Johnny while he was telling this, and, young as I was, I saw his eyes grow dark as violets, and the pupils enlarge, and his voice rise up in denunciation, while his nostrils dilated and his thin lips worked with emotion. How angry he grew! He thought the girl was basely ungrateful. After that time she was no protegé of his.
But Appleseed, despite giving up on women in the real world, held out hope for the afterlife – explaining to others that he expected to have two spirit wives all his own after he died. Which I guess is the 19th century equivalent of the MGTOWers today who fantasize about the sexy robot ladies who will eventually, it is hoped, make actual human females – with their troubling “thoughts” and “needs” and “desires” of their own – obsolete.
Mr. Appleseed’s quest to remain alone was probably also helped by the fact that – if the illustration I found on Wikipedia is any indication – he looked a bit like Dale Gribble from King of the Hill. Only much, much sloppier, with long hair. Oh, and instead of wearing a baseball cap, he wore “a tin utensil which answered both as a cap and a mush pot.”
So, yeah, a creepy weirdo who hates women — definitely an MGTOWer all the way.
Oh, except that he actually did something with his life — you know, helping spread apple trees to a big portion of the midwest — instead of spending all his time going on about how all women are whores.
Other things they didn’t tell you: Hellen Keller was a socialist,Teddy Roosevelt’s famous “There is no such thing as a hyphenated American” line is an affirmation of white supremacy, Columbus was fine enslaving Indians, and while the North didn’t fight for slavery, the South did. History is horridly taught here.
Hell, that’s just the first layer of the onion. The Grimms actually went back and edited the stories they’d originally collected when they started getting popular with children, making them more violent and Christian and less sexual and pagan. This was in an effort to make the stories a source of “moral instruction” to the young.
Melleyslave wrote:
You mean MGTOWs are going to start using their hands?
This is interesting. The notion of “Spirit wives” is rather redolent of Mormonism, which for those who don’t know much about it says that people who get married (the right way, I assume, i.e. in the Temple) on earth are also married in the afterlife. (And if you do it right you can have infinite spirit babies, yay.) Which is interesting because many of the Swedenborgian beliefs I see on wikipedia are the opposite of Mormon beliefs. For instance, the former says that angels and devils used to be people on earth, whereas in Mormonism all people were angels and devils that took various sides in a heavenly war before their earthly existence. It would be interesting to see how widespread this “spirit wives” meme was in the 19th century US.
KathleenB: The trick is to buy a giant sack of Virginia’s Best Biscuit Mix, figure out the best texture for them to come out right, and then reduce the recipe down to single serving. I’ve got a Keurig that makes coffee one cup at a time, and I can use the same coffee cup to make one biscuit at a time. Keeping buttermilk around seems weird, but well worth it. Make sure you butter the tops. 🙂
Now, to drag this back to the whole Man Going His Own Way business… I wonder if these guys can cook and clean and iron and the whole nine yards of “women’s work” stuff, since they are so very independent. Or do they dress in sweatpants and eat Spaghetti-Os and live in filth.
Don’t most strumpets already have a sausage filling?
…Ba dum tish!
I suspect they’ll be like the Templars. No women allowed! Oh except we need women to do some things so it’s okay to hire them I guess.
Improbable Joe: I’m referring to biscuits that are basically equal amounts of sausage, shredded cheese (colby jack works really well) and biscuit mix. Mix well and bake. make more than you think you’ll need, because they go fast. I’ve lived off of them at weekend events.
Moewicus: Yeah, the Crusaders wouldn’t have gotten as far as they did without battalions of laundresses.
@KathleenB
This sounds like it needs an Eddie Izzard bit…
Meller – I actually work with/am in contact with guerilla agriculture types, many of them anarchists (including libertarians.) Especially those involved in the food justice movement and “greening” urban spaces. There certainly are many legal problems, especially involving the unholy alliance of the USDA/Large agribusiness conglomerates, and absentee “landlords” of decaying urban spaces.* But it certainly is important to work against legal barriers to community-focused, sustainable agriculture (which is what Johnny actually practiced, as opposed to scattering seeds about). so if you like, take it out of the theoretical and work with people on projects like https://sites.google.com/a/chicorycenter.org/www/ the chicory center or anyone in the urban homesteading movement http://www.independent.org/newsroom/article.asp?id=3141 (Nice “mainstream” libertarian article here for you!)
Or, you know, make nyah-nyah comments in the comments section of gender issues blogs about how the law is keeping the Manly bootstrap men down and we’re gonna be replaced by robots, cause everybody has the same kinks as you, that too.
*”private property,” especially when held by corporations, or taken and given to business in the name of eminent domain or “development” isn’t always an uncomplicated magical sacred libertarian good. (Kinda like gold, which you still won’t get back to me on.)
Go ahead and flail at me for that.
“Things can only get worse with feminists and modern women in the coming centuries, and even the most reluctant men will have to undertake action–to preserve their sanity, not to mention sexual relief–to develop something better. I don’t know if that “something better” will include robotics and AI engineering, but it is certainly more possible than Johnny Appleseed’s vision of heaven.
A word to the wise…”
Thanks for the warning. We can have husbandbots too.
You know, I kinda want you to run into the transhumanist libertarian contingent and see what happens…
KathleenB: You can’t keep cheese and sausage on hand? Milk and a sack of biscuit mix? These are STAPLES!!! I mean, you don’t constantly run out of TP and soap and gas in your car, do you? Come on!!! Why aren’t you buying sausage several pounds at a time? Shop like a Joe, budget sausage and bacon and cheese first. Veggies are for suckers, get an extra gallon jug of oil for deep frying random stuff. Priorities!
I have this discussion with my wife occasionally. I say to her “You like X, you know you like X, you know you can’t make it on one package of X between now and the next time you go to the store, so why not buy as much as you need, rather than complain about not having X and trying to convince me to go to the store in the rain to buy you more?”
@zhinxy: That sounds a lot like *work*, which is something a Galtian Superman like Meller shouldn’t have to do… (yes, I’m aware of the irony in what I’m saying).
blackbloc: But of course. And won’t we cry when he removes himself from society, thus depriving us of the benefits of his merely existing and occasionally shilling for ron paul! Oh, the posts from his gulch about how much we miss him…
(I am gonna get back to you on the forums, btw. I’m helping move a lot of stuff, and technically I’m being a slacky lazy female right now. 😉 )
There are forums?
http://manboobz.forummotion.com/ Come to the forums Joe!
*”private property,” especially when held by corporations, or taken and given to business in the name of eminent domain or “development” isn’t always an uncomplicated magical sacred libertarian good. (Kinda like gold, which you still won’t get back to me on.)
i dont wanna derail, so maybe you could answer in the forums, but is there really that much disagreement over using eminent domain for economic development projects. like i thought you guys pretty much all agreed it was always bad.
oh and color me shocked that brandon works in IT
Sharculese – We technically agree, almost all, but some of us mutter that “of course it’s bad,” then go right about acting like it’s rightfully held. There’s sort of a, ‘well, it’s going to private business and not the state, so it’s not “AS bad”‘ attitude that tends to excuse Wal-Marts but not airports. I stressed something Meller probably “agrees” with me on, to point out that it does happen, is a huge barrier to dirty hippies doing stuff, and accounts for a GREAT deal of “private free enterprise” Otherwise certain right-wing libertarians tend to play serious hide and seek with the issue. 🙂
Wooo… forums!!!
I can stop getting wasted and drunk-posting to gun nut forums now! 🙂
cool, thanks for clearing that up.
I may have to go over to the Forum to ask Zhinxy about checks and ballances to prevent consolidation of resources or the Tragedy of the Commons.
Johnny Appleseed was also a huge wino, he planted apples that were only fit for making cider. He’s still cool with me, at least he did something nice with his pent-up frustrations.
On to a more prurient topic: CYBERCUTIES!!
I hope DKM trademarks that.
Fatman’s correct, I don’t understand why DKM thinks that virtual companionship will be a bad thing for women. Women are going to NEED ‘cybercuties.’ There are millions of extra dudes in China, India and god knows where else now. It’s either artificial women or human trafficking, and I know which one I’d choose.
I think all the robosexuals on Manboobz should pool their meager earnings to buy this (disturbing) thing:
NWOslave could use his milking machine experience to… you know.
David, you ignorant slut! (Rest assured, I use both “ignorant” and “slut” in their non-pejoritive senses, so unless you are some kind of hyper-sensitive masculinist, the type so tragically common and commonly tragic in this fallen age, you will surely not be offended!!) I laugh quite heartily, threatening the balance of my humours and the smooth functioning of my pyloric valve, at the notion of mere “men” constructing mechanical contrivances to take the place of WOMEN!!!
Let us put aside for a moment the comical idea of men building such devices, as if men possessed human intellect!!!! Without the glorious female presence, how would men survive? Why, without the life-giving rays of a Real Woman, the average man wilts away and loses all his blossoming beauty!!!!!
No, men need simply work harder to please women, and they will be rewarded with a loving and generous jack-boot upon their adorably hairy throats!!!!!! Hie thee to the boudoir and make thyself fluffy, David, and perhaps even you may catch the eye of some dominant woman on the hunt for a properly submissive husband!!!!!!!
As for me, I must tend to my health, as conversing with a mere “man” saps my womanly energies!!!!!!!! O cruel Fortuna!!!!!!!!! Off to tend to my valve!!!!!!!!!
PEACE AND CYBERNETICS!!!!!!!!!!!
SHAENON!!!!!!!!!!!!
A robot mouth makes sense for dental training.
An entire robot body with hair and clothing and moving eyes seems like either stylistic excess, or… evidence that this “dentistry” thing is a flimsy alibi.
I think all the robosexuals on Manboobz should pool their meager earnings to buy this (disturbing) thing:
i really hope that thing has a loud, operation style buzzer that goes off if you do something wrong
@shaenon
beautiful