Newsflash from the frontlines of the gender war: Apparently some of the ladies are getting tattoos!
Luckily for us, The Spearhead is on the case. In a recent post titled “Ruminations from Seat 22D,” Spearhead guest poster Lyn87 reported on an encounter with one of these ghastly creatures:
I recently took a long trip for work and spent a lot of hours in the air. One of my fellow passengers really stood out in my mind: a 20-something lass a few rows ahead of me. She is a natural-born beauty in that “launch a thousand ships” kind of way – slim, near-perfect symmetrical features, piercing blue eyes, and a shapely body. She is, simply, stunning. But there’s more to this story than a retired soldier admiring an exquisite example of female flesh young enough to be my daughter.
Well, we’re off to a really creepy start here.
It was actually her tattoo that first caught my attention.
Oh, that’s where we’re going. This is going to be one of those “women with tattoos are whores” kind of story.
She was wearing a low-slung top that revealed a HUGE eagle inked across her chest and extending down under the front of her shirt. And then I noticed her hair – what little there was of it. I’ve always kept my hair short, even by military standards, and her hair was shorter than mine.
Tattoos and a short haircut! Excuse me for a moment; I think I’m getting the vapors.
Few things de-feminize a woman more than buzzing off her hair, which is why it is considered to be shameful in many societies. She was wearing ratty, ripped jeans and far too much costume jewelry.
I can’t believe we let women leave the house in such attire.
And then I noticed the piercings.
Not the piercings!
As I stood six inches behind her for several minutes waiting to de-plane I counted seven, and that was just what was visible. I wondered what else she had done to herself. A tramp-stamp is a given, but who knows what other “body art” was hidden out of my view.
We can only imagine. Some Matisse prints? A mural in the style of Diego Rivera? A reproduction of Michelangelo’s David? One of the plates from Judy Chicago’s Dinner Party?
[M]en like me, the kind of man women say they want – responsible, courteous, masculine, respectable, upwardly mobile – [avoid] women like her even as long-term girlfriends, let alone wives.
I’m pretty sure that women like her — or like most women — are not much interested in men who are not only old enough to be their father but who also read The Spearhead.
[I]a person goes to great lengths to project a certain persona, especially in a way designed to attract attention, it says something about him/her. I asked myself what would cause the stunningly-beautiful young woman on my flight – at the height of her Sexual Market Value – to do that to herself? Women dress for us, so what does she intend for us to infer? I’m easy? I’m rebellious? I can drink you under the table?
Maybe: “If you’re the sort of misogynist creep who’s going to jump to weird conclusions about my character based on my tattoos, my piercings, and even on the length of my fucking hair, and then write about it at length on a site overflowing with similarly misogynist creeps, I’d rather not have anything to do with you?”
But Lyn87 seems unable to understand why anyone would want to send such a message:
I can think of no message that her chosen facade would convey that would be in her long-term interest. In a few years after her looks fade she is likely to be just another tatted-up skank wondering where the good men are.
Wherever these “good men” are, I’m pretty sure they aren’t reading or writing for The Spearhead.
It didn’t have to be this way. In a different social environment a woman like her would have learned to be (gasp!) feminine. She would have observed the older women in her surroundings and absorbed benevolent patriarchy in the air she grew up breathing.
Oh lord.
With her beauty she could have married above her economic station and lived a comfortable life. We can’t know if she would have been happy, but she almost certainly would have had stability, security and comfort.
Hey, who needs happiness when you’ve got patriarchy!
But she doesn’t live in that society; she lives in a “Slut Walk” society, thanks to feminism. When she chose the “Suicide Girl” look nobody stopped her.
Um, who exactly is supposed to stop her from dressing and looking how she likes?
Now she has mutilated herself with enough ink and metal trinkets to repel the kind of man most likely to give her the life she wants, because no matter what she does to the outside of her body, she will eventually want what women have always wanted on the inside – stability, security and comfort.
Hmm. Could it be that she’s not actually interested in the life a man could “give her,” and perhaps more interested in the sort of life she can, you know, give herself?
The fruits of feminism: what a waste.
Only if you’re a narcissistic misogynist who thinks the world revolves around his preferences.
Next up on The Spearhead: Airline peanuts — Tool of they Gynofascist Matriarchy?
Yes, some men are selectively nice. I had a male friend once who often offered to do favors for me, to drive me around, etc. Then, I came to find out, that he refused to give a ride to a friend of mine, leaving her stranded somewhere. And why the difference in treatment? I could only speculate that it was because she was plain and overweight while he clearly found me attractive. He knew I wasn’t attainable, yet he still put on the nice guy act for me. As for my friend? She got to see how chivalrous he really was.
If I had been interested in him, the reveal of his real character would have killed my interest completely.
To add the to discussion about how niceness contributes to success – if a person is nice to me, but not nice to other people, I notice that too and come to the conclusion that they’re not actually very nice at all. I’m sure others do the same and form their impressions of people accordingly. No one trusts the person whose niceness is very selective.
Yup. I read an interview with some famously successful businessman a few years back (I can’t remember which one, unfortunately), in which he mentioned that, throughout his career, whenever he was trying to make a tough decision on a particular client/potential employee/investment opportunity/etc., he would take the person in question out to lunch specifically to watch how they treated the waitstaff, since he felt that was a far more accurate measure of their character and whether he wanted to work with them than how well they could suck up to him. That makes a lot of sense to me.
I don’t like tattoos or most piercings on men or women, even find them kind of jarring to tell the truth, but I figure that’s my problem. The same way I find it odd that men who aren’t balding shave their heads. I think hair is more attractive than not having hair and geez, aren’t they probably going to be bald soon enough? But it’s their choice and my preference or standard of beauty is mine and not everyone’s.
I read the OP at The Spearhead and what got me is how judgmental he was. If he had just written that he noticed a beautiful young woman who had tattoos and piercings that he thought marred her beauty and he couldn’t understand why she would do that, that would be one thing. But he loaded his preferences for female beauty down with such negative judgments about why she had short hair, piercings, and tattoos, and how because of them, she would miss all the ‘good’ things men like him have to offer. Ugh!
But he loaded his preferences for female beauty down with such negative judgments about why she had short hair, piercings, and tattoos, and how because of them, she would miss all the ‘good’ things men like him have to offer. Ugh!
I imagine he’d be drooling at the very sight of one of my wife’s best friends – who is, hands down, one of the most stunningly attractive women I’ve ever met. And not a tattoo or a piercing in sight.
She is, however, firmly and outspokenly lesbian. Or at least she says he is, but of course we all know that it’s really because she hasn’t met a Real Man like the OP.
@ Polliwog – This is actually why I prefer dinner dates to any other kind as a first date. I want to see how a potential partner interacts with people who they don’t have to be nice to, like waitstaff, rather than just how they interact with someone they’re trying to charm.
Wetherby: Way back in… ’98, ’99, I was at the first SF con that Alyson Hannigan ever did (StarCon or StarFest in Denver). I was in line to get her autograph, and they’d cut it off a few eople behind me to make sure she had time to get to her Q&A. I was almost to the front when someone from the con came up and told her, ‘You have to go, you’re going to be late!’ She looked at the line, which was maybe ten deep at that point, and said “They’ve waited for me to sign their stuff, I can be a little late. And she signed, and chatted and was basically one of the nicest guests I’ve dealt with at a con.
And then there was Jason Carter (Marcus on Babylon 5). Saturday night, he hooked up with one of the Klingon Houses (there are a few in Denver) and got really, really drunk in the atrium of the hotel. An off-duty cop came over to tell them to quiet down, but Jason thought the guy was cosplaying and told him to fuck off. Luckily, the cop had a sense of humor. He was also awesome in the autograph line, and drew (maybe still draws) a stick figure with a Ranger staff.
Adding to the anecdata about niceness: my dad the journalist says the secret to being a successful journalist is to be nice to the secretaries. If the secretary likes you, you are much more likely to get an interview or a tip about a story. If the secretary doesn’t like you, you’re fucked.
Also, always remember names, faces and children. Unfortunately, I’m terrible with all three. 🙁
@ Ozy – Or, if you’re in entertainment journalism, always be nice to the PR person or the PA. If they don’t like you, you’re screwed and will never get the access that you need.
Of course if you’re nice to everyone you meet just on general principles this whole thing becomes much simpler, and you don’t have to sit there and calculate who you do or don’t have to be nice to.
PS – I actually think this is one of the few areas where women do have an advantage, kind of. Most PR people and PAs are women (at least in my part of the industry). This means that, as a female journalist, I can hug them hello and goodbye without making them uncomfortable. A lot of them would probably be much less comfortable with a man hugging them, say, when saying goodbye for the first time, or being touchy-feely in general. Since the kind of people that tend to go into PR tend to be very sociable and friendly, being able to be kind of touchy-feely with them can often help in forming a relationship, but it might be a little more awkward for a man to do so than it is for a woman.
Please not that I’m not being huggy with people in a calculating way in order to advance business interests – it’s just my personality to be that way. But I do think that it works to my advantage, and I’m not sure that a man with a similar personality would be able to act the same way quite as easily.
My girlfriend has a lot more ink than I do, and as far as I know we’re in a relationship.
Also, I present myself, I think, pretty honestly — at least, I don’t put any effort into constructing a Look. If people who aren’t interested in the sort of person who would dress (talk, behave) like I do reject me, well, that just saves time for both of us.
Holly:
These are people who can’t recognize that women have likes and dislikes.
Newt:
That’s fine, but it’s a fact about you, not a fact about women.
Honestly, the more men whose tastes differ from mine, the better for me, really. That said, I’m not interested in dating women with piercings anywhere but the ears. I deal with this by … not dating them. And asking (not demanding) that women I date don’t do that.
(Lydia reference removed, Spearhafoc beat me to it)
Ponkz:
Mine was my 27th brithday present to myself. My girlfriend was in her 30s already when she got her first.
Comet:
Oh, I do too, but it’s not really a needle like a needle. I’ve gotten a tat and I’ve had an IV line put in every week for three months, they’re not at all the same.
Slavey:
Hm. Can anyone think of an alternative explanation for why multiple women say women are oppressed? Some possible reason other than that they’re all brainwashed?
Re: niceness in actors, a friend of mine was Nichelle Nichols’ gopher at a con, and basically said she was one of the sweetest people on the PLANET. If you’re spending a whole weekend fetching and carrying for somebody, you’ll find out pretty quickly what kind of person they really are.
Mind you, I’m not sure nice girls count in this type of worldview. I mean, Ms. Nichols is (as far as I know) straight, therefore she couldn’t have been trolling for sex by being nice to another woman. What’s the point in being nice to somebody if they’re not attractive to you and not going to repay you with access to their vagina? I also wonder if MRAL and his fellow trolls ever bother doing favours for their male friends.
@Hershele: Hm. Can anyone think of an alternative explanation for why multiple women say women are oppressed? Some possible reason other than that they’re all brainwashed?
*sporfle* And the fact that a whole slew of the MRA trolls we get here spout the same lines over and over (“we hunted the mammoth” “men invented everything” “femininsm ruined society”) is clear proof of their…..excessive indivduality and lack of group think.
Cassandra: I think nice to everyone is the best plan, but if you can’t be nice to everyone, be make sure to be nice to the people who have less status than you and have the power to fuck you up. 🙂
You mean his two male friends?
@Ozy – In general I’d say how people treat those of lower status is the best litmus test of their character. Anyone can make themselves be nice when they have to (well, to be fair MRAL may be an exception to this rule), but if someone is nice when they really don’t have to be, chances are that they’re actually a nice person. So if you’re nasty to underlings and it ends up biting you in the ass…hey there, karma.
@wetherby, my husband is a 2D animator, he very much liked your characterization. However, I wouldn’t necessarily agree. Hubby thinks himself something of a bad ass, and I’ve known many of his co-workers to be surly, unpleasant and myopic.
Hey, no group is homogeneous.
I have not met many successful cartoonists or animators who are jerks.
Counterpoint: roughly every other webcomic author.
I mean, the CAD guy is a creepy jerk, a terrible artist (B^U) and still successful…
I’ve noticed that a lot of the guests at SF cons are really, really nice, if sometimes a bit weirded out by the fans. I’ve heard that the execs on some shows used to pass around Bimbos of the Death Sun by Sharon McCrumb as a guide for what to expect. I found the book fun but problematic (I’m sorry, no female character can be fat and happy at the same time?). And the sequel… The less said about that one, the better.
I was always taught to be nicest to the people who WON’T pay it back, because they’re looking to ruin someone, and you don’t want it to be you.
Of course, I worked in New York, where being an asshole is considered “real” and “honest.” I’m outa there, long since.
I have not met many successful cartoonists or animators who are jerks.
Counterpoint: roughly every other webcomic author.
Webcartoonists are the big exception. Well, webcartoonists and Scott Adams, I guess. That said, “success” for webcartoonists is generally not especially successful, and I think some of them just have huge chips on their shoulders about not being the Penny Arcade guys.
Many webcartoonists are delightful, of course, like Phil and Kaja Foglio, or me.
Helen of Troy didn’t “use her beauty to start a war.” The men started the war over who was going to get to own her.
Hey, MRAs guess what? I refuse money that my boyfriend offers when I’m in a pickle. I know right? It’s almost like… trying to be… independent? I know, your minds are totally blown right about now.
I’m now over 50 so I probably don’t count — but if I had known back in my 20s that getting a tattoo or a piercing or two would fend off the attentions of such entirely disgusting men as the OPoster, I would have totally gotten a tattoo, or two or three.
40 years ago tattoos on men was still a sign on criminal activity.
40 Years ago piercings on men was considered a sign of homosexuality or “denigrating the race” by imitating “those people.”
40 years ago NWO was a whiney ass titty baby.
At least some things never change
Provided they didn’t start that way?
http://www.gothic-charm-school.com/