Jezebel has apparently decided to gin up some page views by running a bizarre, victim-blaming, slut-shaming, skeevily prurient screed on Amber Cole, the 14-year old African American girl who was videotaped giving oral sex to some boys; the video got posted online and, despite the fact that it was, you know, child porn, went viral. The story itself is appalling; so is the screed, written by a guy pretending (for rhetorical effect) that he’s Cole’s father. It reads like something you’d find on The Spearhead.
The piece starts off melodramatically:
I am Amber Cole’s father. I am angry, confused and completely at a loss. I love my daughter. I want to guide her without suppressing her. That is not always easy. Children need protection from their worst inclinations. That is not always easy. I am trying to convince her that the world will still love her if she keeps her clothes on.
Just to remind everyone again: the author is not actually Cole’s father. (And Amber Cole is apparently not her real name.)
The screed quickly descends into an attack on the girl’s mother that reads like something you’d read in the comments section of The Spearhead or In Mala Fide:
She would listen to her mother, if her mother was not busy. Doing something, anything that is not parenting. I want her mother to spend less time being “empowered” and more time being aware and engaged with our daughter.
And it only goes downhill from there. We get a section essentially blaming girls at large for the incident, because they allegedly ignore the “nice guys” who would never make such a tape. We get a section blaming the “mother’s boyfriend, Karrine Steffans or Kim Kardashian” for teaching the girl to be “proficient at such a difficult act. … I want to know why my 14 year-old knows so much about oral sex.”
And then we get a ridiculous race-baiting rant about white feminists and the Slutwalks:
White feminists can teach their own little girls to find empowerment through their crotches – my brown little girl cannot afford to be that carefree and cavalier with her life choices. Slutlife is the hard, lonely vocation of rich, educated, privileged white women who will fuck The World, contract social diseases and still, somehow find a husband. No black woman ever got far being a slut. I want to know what kind of women “slutwalk,” while young impressionable girls of all kinds look on with wonder and admiration.
After placing blame for the whole thing on just about every girl and woman in the world, the author comes to the father:
I am Amber Cole’s father. Don’t ask where I was that afternoon, because you already know. I was at work, just like you. I do not live with her, cannot always talk to her, cannot always be there. Not the way I want, and there are few laws to help me. To protect me and my rights.
Because that’s the real issue here: Father’s Rights.
And then the big reveal:
I am Jimi Izrael. I am not really Amber Cole’s father. But she is my daughter.
You do not think so. But she is your daughter too.
Go read the whole thing. It’s appalling. Then read Jeff Fecke’s takedown of it on Alas, a Blog.
Ironically, Jezebel ran an excellent piece on the subject about a week ago.
WTF, Jezebel? Are page views really that important?
EDITED: I reworked a bit about the (real) father that I originally formulated badly.
Basically that what it comes down to. If no-one is fucking them it proves that all women are shallow/stupid/mean/whatever else. The possibility that being hate filled bags of stupid is exactly the thing that prevents women wanting to fuck them probably doesn’t come up.
I am a pretty nice guy actually, but that’s immaterial, because I’m not talking about me, I’m talking in general. There are a wealth of nice (actually nice) guys out there, funny, smart, even decent-looking. But they get ignored in the Schwyzerian crusade because they aren’t 9’s who make ‘ginas tingle upon arrival, and thus they don’t count. The “no good men” idiots like Kay Hymowitz bemoan the “lack of good men” because they are only looking at the top, oh, 20% looks-wise and trying to apply it to 100% of women. Of course, that’s going to create problems, you goddamn moron. It’s pathetic. Women (and Hugo Schwyzer) think that the female sex is entitled to Brads (or, for the alternative chick, Depps, or for the REAL subversive ones, even- hold your breath- Braffs). And only once a man has passed the looks test can he even sit down to TAKE the asshole weedout course. Then he looks at the ones who passed and panics, because there don’t seem to be many.
Of course women can be attracted to whoever they want, sure, but then they (that is, Schwyzer and a certain especially distasteful strand of feminism), looks pretty damn stupid when moaning about how there are so few men. Shut the fuck up. Fuck.
Anyway, I’m leaving for good. I’ve wasted too much time talking to you dumbasses. I also have a party to attend, where people think I’m a nice guy, because I am, you fucking douchebags.
Why would I want to date a guy who doesn’t give me a “gina tingle”?
…Since at this point I’m doing this out of pure charity and expect absolutely nothing in it for myself, how would I even know which guy to pity fuck? This gets back to that whole “pussy must be distributed by impartial lottery” problem.
hahahahaha oh my
…are we SURE he’s not just trollin’?
I’m not sure that it’s a derail at all in that it’s pretty clear that the author was coming from exactly that Nice Guys Finish Last (so it’s OK if men trick 14 year old girls into being unwitting participants in child porn, because asshole logic). As dumb as a lot of the Nice Guy stuff is, it’s pretty thoroughly entangled with how sexism manifests currently in the US, especially when it comes to how sexism affects teenage girls and young women. I mean hey, I’m 38, I can just point and mock, but the women I know who’re in their early-mid twenties are under a lot of pressure because of this stuff, so it’s worth debunking.
@ MRAL – the boy is not the victim because he knew that the act was being taped (in fact, he seems to have planned it as an act of revenge), and it seems to have been him and his little buddies who uploaded it. Now, should adults be looking at teenage boys having sex on YouTube? No. But the way those boys are positioned in all of this is quite different to the way the girl is.
MRAL has absolutely no right to complain about anybody’s shallowness. Every other post of his on the now deleted “hot women thread” on the forum was “she’s old” or some bullshit.
Have fun at your party, MRAL. Try not to drive too many people away with your not nice self.
“I am a pretty nice guy actually,”
Assumes facts not in evidence.
“That is not quite logical as personality can have an impact on a person’s looks as Cassandra stated both in just ordinary course of life and when you get to know a person.”
Well, honestly, MRAL is right about one part. For me looks are the initial filter – if seeing someone doesn’t make me feel tingly in the nether regions, why would I want to have sex with them? Of course he thinks that this is evil, when coming from a woman, though he’d be outraged if you suggested that a man not take whether or not a given woman gives him erections into account when considering whether or not to date her. So we’re back to the old sexist Nice Guy whinge wherein women are essentially sex-dispensing vending machines, and it’s unfair of them to have physical standard, since they’re not supposed to be creatures with their own needs, wishes, etc.
Basically the Nice Guy lament comes down to “why don’t women come with a cheat code installed?”. The PUA movement is a response intended to con men out of money by persuading them that there really is a cheat code, and if they just pay $500 and attend this training course…
Statement assumes facts not in evidence.
Good for you, actually. Not even being sarcastic; I don’t care if someone chooses to spend their free time online, but you seem profoundly unhappy with doing so. I’m glad you’re getting something to do.
Your lack of self awareness is beautiful XD
Kay Hymowitz is selling a recurring meme that emerges amongst the elderly, actually! She’s not looking at looks, you twit. It’s another “The young of today are so lazy, not like the young of my day” rant.
It’s like he understands on some level that Brad Pitt is no longer the omnisexy and that he’s years behind, but just refuses to let go!
Yeah, can’t blame you. Sorry about this morning, y’all. Was in a bad mood already, and the latest verse of the MRA Song That Never Ends just got on my last nerve. I know that mockery and truth is the only real way to deal with them, frustrating as it can be.
“Anyway, I’m leaving for good. I’ve wasted too much time talking to you dumbasses. I also have a party to attend, where people think I’m a nice guy, because I am, you fucking douchebags.”
yea…don’t come back after the party is over either.
That made me laugh for like 20 minutes, thanks for that MRAL. XD
I think this should be documented for eternity as evidence that some men who think themselves “nice guys” are in fact the biggest assholes of all.
Moving on, wtf, racists on this thread? Because the victim here is black you assume that she is in a gang and has no father? Go fuck yourselves.
The boys who recorded this an put it online are to blame for it (also, if the encounter was a rape, they are to blame for that too). But, also in the people at fault category here are the people who have been spreading around and watching this video, including adults watching this fucking child porn, like the creepy assface who wrote that jezebel piece.
I am really glad for this poor girl’s sake that this misogynist, black women hating fuckhead is not her father. Luckily, her actual father appears to be a good guy with his head and heart in the right place
http://www.wtsp.com/news/watercooler/article/216379/58/Dad-mad-after-daughters-sex-tape-goes-viral
Kudos to the good dads like him who aren’t creepy fucking assholes like the guy at jezebel.
“People think I’m a nice guy, because I am, you fucking douchebags.”
This is it. The ultimate MRAL quote. It cannot get better than this.
I think this should be documented for eternity as evidence that some men who think themselves “nice guys” are in fact the biggest assholes of all.
I’ve never met anyone who described themselves as a “nice guy” and was actually nice.
RE “I’m a nice guy”, anyone read The Gift of Fear? He talks about how if someone randomly says “I’m not going to hurt you” it usually means that they’re planning to hurt you very badly indeed. I think of declarations of one’s own Nice Guy-ness as being a lot like that. Genuinely nice guys don’t need to advertise.
There are exceptions, however.
I’ve met guys who called themselves “nice guys” and were. But it was usually in a context like “I’m a nice guy, of course you can have a few of my chips.” Not talking about what the deserved or what they were missing out on because they were so “nice.”
Why would I want to date a guy who doesn’t give me a “gina tingle”?
Seems to be a critical question in deciding who to date, right?
You know, I can’t even count the number of times I’ve heard, seen, read, been exposed to the lecture on how females can become more attractive to men. Lose weight, pay more attention to your clothes, makeup, hair. Develop a personality. Etc.
How is it that all these dateless men out there haven’t got that message? Take a shower occasionally. Floss and brush. Groom. Learn how to hold a conversation with someone irl.
If a woman is not getting enough attention from men, it’s her fault. If a man isn’t getting enough attention from women, it’s her fault.
Really, what makes people worth my attention is how interesting and authentic they are, and whether their company improves my mood. If you’re boring, fake, or bring me down, I’m gone. Also if you smell bad. I can’t take people who smell bad.
Yep, this is definitely a funner conversation than the OP. Racialicious has a very lucid post on the situation:
http://www.racialicious.com/2011/10/28/because-amber-cole-is-just-a-kid-and-boys-learn-to-be-boys/
Slavey:
What’s the word for saying something true in a sarcastic tone as though that were a refutation?
MRAL:
So you think women should “distribute pussy access” according to your notion of “fairness”? Do you not recognize how dehumanizing that is or does it just not bother you?
… who doesn’t write for Manboobz, so I’m no longer interested in addressing this here.
MRAL:
I have seen no evidence of this, and quite a lot the other way.
Um … yeah? “Nice” — which is actually an individual, idiosyncratic thing that differs from person to person — is necessary, but not sufficient. I know this has been pointed out to you. Of course, the other requirements — the tingle factors — are also idiosyncratic.
You’re another one saying things that are absolutely true with the rhetorical trappings of a devastating rebuttal to those things. It’s cargo cult debating.
DSC:
Furthermore, if it was not a rape, the concept of blame only even applies to the recording and putting online part.
Darksidecat, thanks for the quotes from Amber’s real dad. I’m happy her family is supporting her, and putting the blame where it belongs.
And I’m also really glad Amber Cole isn’t her real name, and her real name hasn’t been released in public.
just in response to the “women say they want this and they really want that” convo if I’m gonna generalize all men on my experiences i say men say they want intelligent women with self-confidence but the truth is they want someone who will be emotionally dependent on them and be hot and impress their friends! but i know that’s not the case for all men, just maybe a lot.
Perhaps they want an unusually high quality of woman to be emotionally dependent on them?
I read the “Who Cares About Amber Cole” article that you recommended and called “excellent”. This stood out to me;
“As men, you are to be our protectors.”
Of course this was written by an African American woman, creator of “No Wedding, No Womb”.
I’ll say that most African American women are of the conservative outlook that she is; men as protectors, seeing the epidemic of out of wedlock childbirth in her community as something negative that needs to be fixed with marriage and a return to family values, etc.
And this is precisely why there has always been such a large disconnect between white dominated American Feminism and African American women.
Now Jezebel is trying to see the other side of the coin and in doing so you are going to get articles written by black women and men (Jimi Izrael, I am Amber Cole’s Father) that have more of a socially conservative and traditionalist bent than anything you’d ever read there by a white woman.
I’ll have to agree with them. Being “sexually expressive”, holding “slut walks” and the like will have vastly different reprocutions in the African American community than it will in the largely middle-upper middle class white communities that hosts and promotes this type of thing.