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Jezebel channels The Spearhead with an odious piece on Amber Cole

Jezebel has apparently decided to gin up some page views by running a bizarre, victim-blaming, slut-shaming, skeevily prurient screed on Amber Cole, the 14-year old African American girl who was videotaped giving oral sex to some boys; the video got posted online and, despite the fact that it was, you know, child porn, went viral. The story itself is appalling; so is the screed, written by a guy pretending (for rhetorical effect) that he’s Cole’s father. It reads like something you’d find on The Spearhead.

The piece starts off melodramatically:

I am Amber Cole’s father. I am angry, confused and completely at a loss. I love my daughter. I want to guide her without suppressing her. That is not always easy.  Children need protection from their worst inclinations. That is not always easy. I am trying to convince her that the world will still love her if she keeps her clothes on.

Just to remind everyone again: the author is not actually Cole’s father. (And Amber Cole is apparently not her real name.)

The screed quickly descends into an attack on the girl’s mother that reads like something you’d read in the comments section of The Spearhead or In Mala Fide:

She would listen to her mother, if her mother was not busy. Doing something, anything that is not parenting.  I want her mother to spend less time being “empowered” and more time being aware and engaged with our daughter.

And it only goes downhill from there. We get a section essentially blaming girls at large for the incident, because they allegedly ignore the “nice guys” who would never make such a tape. We get a section blaming the “mother’s boyfriend, Karrine Steffans or Kim Kardashian” for teaching the girl to be “proficient at such a difficult act. … I want to know why my 14 year-old knows so much about oral sex.”

And then we get a ridiculous race-baiting rant about white feminists and the Slutwalks:

White feminists can teach their own little girls to find empowerment through their crotches – my brown little girl cannot afford to be that carefree and cavalier with her life choices. Slutlife is the hard, lonely vocation of rich, educated, privileged white women who will fuck The World, contract social diseases and still, somehow find a husband. No black woman ever got far being a slut. I want to know what kind of women “slutwalk,” while young impressionable girls of all kinds look on with wonder and admiration.

After placing blame for the whole thing on just about every girl and woman in the world, the author comes to the father:

I am Amber Cole’s father. Don’t ask where I was that afternoon, because you already know. I was at work, just like you. I do not live with her, cannot always talk to her, cannot always be there. Not the way I want, and there are few laws to help me. To protect me and my rights.

Because that’s the real issue here: Father’s Rights.

And then the big reveal:

I am Jimi Izrael. I am not really Amber Cole’s father.  But she is my daughter.

You do not think so. But she is your daughter too.

Go read the whole thing. It’s appalling. Then read Jeff Fecke’s takedown of it on Alas, a Blog.

Ironically, Jezebel ran an excellent piece on the subject about a week ago.

WTF, Jezebel? Are page views really that important?

EDITED: I reworked a bit about the (real)  father that I originally formulated badly.

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Broseidon
Broseidon
9 years ago

100 million tween girls and their moms can’t be wrong…

Eneya
9 years ago

Ugh… and the fact that this just came as a surprise to me means what? That’s it does not hold true for everyone (especially people who are NOT tweens).

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
9 years ago

The reason that people like Bieber are popular with tween girls is because they’re anti-sex symbols. They represent a thoroughly adolescent and non-threatening sexuality.

If you look at many of the actors/singers/whomever that grown women gush about you won’t find many aficionadoes of Bieber.

Right, “women who date good-looking assholes” does not equal “all good-looking guys are assholes”.

I’m pleased as punch that you can see the difference. I’m just so used to seeing people conflate “good-looking” and “ass-hole.” Good to know that wasn’t your intention.

Seraph
Seraph
9 years ago

…you know what, Broseidon? You’re right. They’re clearly okay with you (and originally MRAL, looking back over the thread) deciding what we talk about. Yet again. Duly fucking off now. Don’t count this as a flounce yet, as I’ll be back later in the hopes the conversation has moved back into territory we haven’t covered a million times, but if it hasn’t, you may add one flounce to your scorecard and I’ll see y’all in another thread.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
9 years ago

Seraph, your point is a good one. But it would also be fair to point out that Broseiden and MRAL’s need to discuss who won’t date them dovetails pretty precisely with Jimi Izrael’s piece in the OP. He also used the public humiliation of Amber Cole to talk about women who don’t date nice guys.

So there’s that.

LyssatakeaBow
LyssatakeaBow
9 years ago

so is amber cole definitely not her real name? I’ve felt uncomfortable following the story at all because the last thing the girl needs is more attention and more people looking her up. if thats not her real name then it’s at least a lil better. and yeah, way to bait page views Jezebel. It kinda sucks, I enjoy Jezebel but sometimes the getting things wrong on purpose (so it seems) thing is too much…

and this guy is just deplorable apparently he also has a book called “the denzel factor” about black women not being able to marry cause their standards are too high… sounds pretty MRA-ish to me. I feel like when guy complain that women expect too much or something they’re basically just saying “wait, these bitches want us to be NICE to them? and RESPECT their feelings? uppity bitches!”

Quackers
Quackers
9 years ago

I own up to being a part of the derailing…sorry :<

Truth be told, as sad as it is, the OP doesn't even surprise me anymore. Blame the victim, blame the parents, blame the media, blame feminism…never blame the people doing the raping/videotaping/coercing though. Its gotten to the point where it feels like this shit is never gonna change.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

I just assume that every comment after about #30 will be a derail.

In a way I’m almost grateful for it, when the OP is sickening (as it usually is). Much easier to deal with “no, dudes, you don’t get a gift-wrapped woman (guaranteed gorgeous, loyal, and submissive or your money back) dropped on your doorstep just because you were born male.”

Because that’s an evergreen subject, and there’s really only so much to say about “if a boy films a girl having sex and the boy sends the video to everyone, the boy is the asshole here.”

Seraph
Seraph
9 years ago

But it would also be fair to point out that Broseiden and MRAL’s need to discuss who won’t date them dovetails pretty precisely with Jimi Izrael’s piece in the OP. He also used the public humiliation of Amber Cole to talk about women who don’t date nice guys.

It would. Guess it always comes back to that, doesn’t it? “Those bitches deserve it for not fucking me…I mean, people like me.”

juliejezebel
9 years ago

True Fax, Holly.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
9 years ago

I say again – why is Amber Cole the only victim here? It’s not here real name, and unlike the boy she was not exposed. The boy is just as much a victim, even moreso I’d say. And yet I haven’t heard a SINGLE PEEP about him.

More female privilege.

Eneya
9 years ago

So… I want to know, how can we report the person who wrote the article and who confessed to watching pedo porn?
Because sure as hell that’s wrong. I find it disgustin how grown men want to have access to the pants of underage people and the law should be strict. There is no gray line there.
I am sick and tired of this attitude of people who think that other people owe them sex or access to bodies, because they have dicks.
I really think that either they should start using their heads and according parts as human being or suffer the consequences.

blitzgal
9 years ago

And another thing that burns me up, all the gals going “ohh, I just want a guy who’s nice and funny and intelligent, I totally dig shy nerdy guys!” when what they actually want is a Calvin Klein underwear model who’s also smart and possibly wears glasses.

Also incorrect. You say “all the gals,” but you’ve made it clear in your descriptions that you’re actually only talking about “hot” women. The rest of women are invisible to you. Which proves my earlier point exactly. Attractive women are told that they are required to go out with average men, otherwise they’re stuck up bitches. Attractive women are also the only ones you’re talking about when you make sweeping generalizations about the terrible things that “all women” do.

blitzgal
9 years ago

Sorry, I contributed to the derail before I read the second page. Done now.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

You know what’s really getting to me?

Everyone who thinks the problem is “a 14-year-old girl gave a blowjob.” Like that’s the scandal here.

Christ.

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

I think Alas, a Blog covered the territory well.
I’m glad to hear that the real dad and the authorities are taking this seriously. Now why did YouTube take so long to respond? They seem kind of trigger happy when Big Media starts looking their way…

On a side note, I wonder how Anonymous is dealing with this since they were doing the whole Child Porn hacking/publicizing.

Seraph
Seraph
9 years ago

Everyone who thinks the problem is “a 14-year-old girl gave a blowjob.” Like that’s the scandal here.

That’s been bothering me, too. The most important part is how it completely erases our budding little sex criminals, of course, but I’m also wondering if anybody who thinks this remembers 14. Granted, a year or two counts for a lot at that age, and the two kids are a little bit ahead of the curve (assuming the blowjob itself was 100% consensual, which we can’t assume), but not really by that much (as Jeff Fecke pointed out). Were all the people clucking their tongues about this really that different, or are they just self-righteous with distance?

Rabbit
Rabbit
9 years ago

Re: Pittclones

When I was in high school, I used to hang out with this kid who had a similar face shape (and jawline in particular) to Brad Pitt. He (the kid, not Brad) was a self-centered little asshole, and also happened to be gay. Because of him, I now associate that jawline with both of those traits, which makes Brad Pitt completely unattractive to me. That’s not to say that homosexuality in itself is unattractive, but the part of my brain that goes “yum, that guy is hot” does short out as soon as I find out said guy is gay. I think of it as a defense mechanism, since I’m female and therefore a gay dude would not be interested in me. It also works on assholes, which makes the Brad Pitt look a double turn-off. (Stricly appearance-wise, I tend to be more attracted to guys with longer, narrower faces, high cheekbones, and long hair. Make of that what you will. Being about the same height as me (around 5’4-5’6″ or so) and having broad shoulders also get you bonus points with me.)

Rabbit
Rabbit
9 years ago

Aww, I wanted to talk about Pittclones, but I took too long typing. Mostly I just don’t want to think about either the video OR the article, because both are pretty gross. 🙁 Did you see the comment he posted to defend himself? Ew.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

And another thing that burns me up, all the gals going “ohh, I just want a guy who’s nice and funny and intelligent, I totally dig shy nerdy guys!” when what they actually want is a Calvin Klein underwear model who’s also smart and possibly wears glasses.

You are making assumptions about women that are way too generalized. Do you realise that?

Yes, some women say “I want a guy who is nice, funny, and intelligent” and they really do mean it. They also want someone “who is someone I find attractive physically.” But that should be without saying.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
9 years ago

Broseidon – SPOT ON. That’s really the root of the problem. Teh wimminz who say they like nerds – well, maybe they do, but only nerds that are, appearance-wise basically translated functions of classical jocks – f(Pitt+glasses) as opposed to those “shallow women” who will only accept f(Pitt). It’s a fucking joke.

I’m sure some women do find intelligence a turn-on. Maybe even nerdiness. But their vision of a nerd is Clark Kent, not the reality, which may even lack a 500-pack (gasp!)

Broseidon
Broseidon
9 years ago

Elizabeth: The problem is when they imply that “nice, funny and intelligent” is the number one priority, when in fact looks are the first priority, with the niceness, funniness and intelligence being a nice bonus. They just phrase it this way because they don’t want to seem shallow. Guys do the same thing, by the way, so I’m not excusing them. They claim to want smart, funny girls but don’t add “and of course she has to be attractive”. The whole thing can be confusing and more than a little disheartening to people who are, in fact, nice and funny and smart but rate low in the looks/social graces department. In other words “She said she likes nerds, so why is she ignoring me and dating the hot guy who wears vintage glasses ironically?”

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Broseidon – How many of the “women claim they want this, but really they want that!” incidents involve the same woman?

There’s no one thing that all women (or all men! speak for yourself) want.

JohnnyBB
JohnnyBB
9 years ago

Yes, women don’t find standard manly men attractive anymore. That’s why the last barge to Ugly Island left with Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds, George Clooney, Viggo Mortenson, and John Hamm on board! Justin Bieber will be taking over the role of Don Draper, per public demand.

Wisteria
Wisteria
9 years ago

I’ve read a bit about this since David posted this. The details are still murky to me and I don’t have the stomach to try to find out more. I’ve read everything from it was the girl forced by three boys, it was the girl and her boyfriend with his friends taping them, it was the girl trying to win back an ex-boyfriend by fellating him and letting his friends tape it. I don’t know. I’m hoping that it was consensual for her sake not rape (not taking NWO’s word for it), but assuming having it out on the internet wasn’t with her consent.

In Kave’s defense, when I read the first (the girl force by three boys), I thought back to my roommate when I was a college freshman. She told me of how a boyfriend who was in a gang had her initiated into it by forcing her to have sex with him and four other boys. From what she said, it’s a fairly common way of initiating girls into gangs. I don’t know how true this was or is, since I’ve led a sheltered life. FWIW, we’re both white, coming from rural areas in the southeastern US.

My take on Jezebel is that it is sometimes feminist, but not consistently so. And that the editors love playing devil’s advocate from time to time, thus their decidedly non- even anti-feminist posts. Not my favorite site by a long shot.

I hope the best for the girl. I hope she has family and friends who protect and help her deal with this.

ithiliana
9 years ago

*sigh*

I wish that people could distinguish between the lusting over celebrities (which the celebrity culture in this country has been pimping for at least a century!), and lusting over the person at the next coffee table who in most cases is not surrounded by celebrity aura.

The fact that i generally find VM or SB or HJ sexy in media that I consume says nothing about what I find attractive in the people around me–and there is a difference, since most of us know we ain’t gonna be dating the supercelebrity dudes.

Although you couldn’t tell it from some of the celebrity internet spaces where the hating of these men’s (and women’s) actual partners goes on, sigh.

Orion
Orion
9 years ago

Ithiliana,

Tell me about it! I feel fortunate that my own personality forced me to figure that out at an early age. I’m attracted almost exclusively to male celebrities and women in my daily life.

JohnnyBB
JohnnyBB
9 years ago

Well, I was being sarcastic, in response to Broseidon’s suggestion that women are only going for the Justin Bieber, Zac Braff thing these days.

Almost as idiotic as the frequent MRA canard that there are no strong men on television anymore.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

>>“She said she likes nerds, so why is she ignoring me and dating the hot guy who wears vintage glasses ironically?”

Because he didn’t use his Charisma as his dump stat?

Also, nerds aren’t generally more nice or intelligent than hipsters.

Broseidon
Broseidon
9 years ago

Yes, women don’t find standard manly men attractive anymore. That’s why the last barge to Ugly Island left with Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds, George Clooney, Viggo Mortenson, and John Hamm on board! Justin Bieber will be taking over the role of Don Draper, per public demand.

To be honest, I haven’t really heard a lot of praise for these guys lately. Opinions seem to range from “not my type” to “overrated”. But hey, glad to be wrong.

Broseidon
Broseidon
9 years ago

Also, nerds aren’t generally more nice or intelligent than hipsters.

1) And I’m the one accused of making stupid generalizations…
2) Then she shouldn’t have said she was into nerds?

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

1) Not more != Less. That’s the opposite of a generalization, saying group A is not especially nicer or more intelligent than group B.
2) She can be into nerds AND intelligent men AND nice men

Broseidon
Broseidon
9 years ago

1) Not more != Less. That’s the opposite of a generalization, saying group A is not especially nicer or more intelligent than group B.

Ah, got it. Misunderstood that one a bit. My point, though, was that women would rather go for the handsome guy who wears glasses, even though she just said she wanted a smart guy. Your and BlackBloc’s argument seems to be “well, maybe the handsome guy really is just as smart as the nerd!” which is a possibility, I guess, but not really what I was talking about.

2) She can be into nerds AND intelligent men AND nice men

Sure, she can be into all sorts. Has nothing to do with my point. I’m stopping now because this is becoming tedious.

JohnnyBB
JohnnyBB
9 years ago

You haven’t heard anyone praise Ryan Reynolds or John Hamm lately? I mean, what’s lately to you? Ryan Reynolds was named sexiest man alive this year. Hugh Jackman won the award a couple years ago. John Hamm has been like standard hot dude for like the last year time. George Clooney is a freakin’ pop culture icon even when he isn’t active. Admittedly, Viggo’s career has slowed down.

Hell, look at the people who have won sexiest man alive in the last decade. I can tell you, they are not of the Justin Bieber type.

This isn’t to say that women universally find classically masculine men attractive, as there is no universal standard of what “women find attractive”. But to assert that women are ditching classic American masculinity en masse to embrace the Justin Bieber ideal is absurd. It’s just more faux nostalgic B.S. to claim that the present day is somehow inferior to a romantic era that never actually existed.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

This kind of conversation always seems to slide toward implications that women should be distributing their affections according to any reason other than their own desires.

Maybe it is unfair that more women are into certain types of man than others, but you have to attack that on a level other than “women should be responsible for distributing pussy access fairly.”

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

I’m not understanding why (yet again) good looks and niceness are being treated as if they’re mutually exclusive qualities (but only in men). In my experience there’s very little correlation between niceness and level of attractiveness. Some of the best looking men I know are genuinely nice, and some of the most unpleasant men I’ve ever met have been very unattractive physically. In most men these qualities have very little correlation. This whole nerdy plain-looking nice guy versus stunningly handsome jerk idea is a comfortion myth invented to make men who are not good looking feel better about their relative lack of romantic prospects. Actually if we were to perform some armchair analysis, it’s not really that surprising that some ridiculously good looking men are very sweet, since they’ve often received positive responses from others their entire lives, so they have no particular reason to feel angry and defensive towards others. Whereas society is often unkind to the ugly of any gender, so it’s no surprise that the scars caused by that combined with male entitlement can make for some really unpleasant men, especially if those men are being fed a steady diet of MRA or PUA bullshit.

Other than that, yeah, dating is complicated – it’s hard to find a good match, and the more non-standard a person is in any way, the harder it becomes. If you have specific interests that your partner must share in order for you to be happy, that may be a small pool. If you have a very specific physical type, again, smaller dating pool than someone whose tastes are less specific. Everyone else who’s looking for a partner has their own idea of what they want, too, so the size of your dating pool is determined by lots of different things, including how closely you fit other people’s ideas of a good match. Conventionally good looking people of either sex tend to have a wider dating pool than less attractive people, as do people who’re charming, socially adept, etc.

There’s nothing wrong with anyone being looks-focused, really, the problem comes when people are being unrealistic about their prospects relative to their own looks, or hypocritical. If somone has very stringent physical standards then that’s fine, they just have to be willing to accept the fact that others may well apply equally strict standards to them.

ithiliana
9 years ago

@Holly: Always.

Because women are just there as public convenience for men! And that should be the focus of our existence………..OR ELSE…………..(*cues ominous music that heralds the onset of the DKM Armageddon).

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Comforting myth , not conformation. Need more coffee.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
9 years ago

Maybe it is unfair that more women are into certain types of man than others, but you have to attack that on a level other than “women should be responsible for distributing pussy access fairly.”

No, I don’t, especially when assholes like Schwyzer turn around and wonder loudly about where “all the good men” are. Newsflash: They’re all around you. Unfortunately, many don’t look like the Don, so I guess they don’t count.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

>>Ryan Reynolds was named sexiest man alive this year.

I loved him in Foolproof, wish he could get more good roles.

And I’d definitely let him crack my safe, if you catch my drift.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

“Maybe it is unfair that more women are into certain types of man than others, but you have to attack that on a level other than “women should be responsible for distributing pussy access fairly.”

Also, what does fairness have to do with it? Of course people are entitled to complain about it not being fair, but there’s really no way to suggest that the unfairness be fixed without coercing people into dating folks they’re just not interested in. Sex is not a resource that women own that they are required to distribute in an equitable manner. No one is entitled to a relationship.

comrade svilova
comrade svilova
9 years ago

Amazing how hard it is for some MRAs to understand that the world (ie women) don’t owe them sex.

Seraph
Seraph
9 years ago

Because he didn’t use his Charisma as his dump stat?

Thanks. I needed that.

Shaenon
9 years ago

This kind of conversation always seems to slide toward implications that women should be distributing their affections according to any reason other than their own desires.

Bingo.

Brad Pitt seems like a sweet guy, and despite his reputation for pretty-boy roles, he’s taken a lot of interesting parts in offbeat movies (12 Monkeys, Snatch, Fight Club, Inglourious Basterds, Tree of Life). I guess what I’m saying is that MRAL is right, and I’d rather sleep with Brad Pitt than him. Not that I will be sleeping with either of them, as I’m happily married to a smoking hot guy who’s also the nation’s foremost comic-book nerd.

Shaenon
9 years ago

And yeah, I’m happy to follow this stupid conversation because the original post makes me want to vomit with rage.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

“…assholes like Schwyzer turn around and wonder loudly about where “all the good men” are. Newsflash: They’re all around you. Unfortunately, many don’t look like the Don, so I guess they don’t count.”

MRAL, are you laboring under the delusion that you’re not an asshole? Do you think you’re a nice guy? Because you’re really not. You’re whiny, hostile, disrespectful to women and men alike, you have a ridiculously overblown sense of entitlement and a massive inferiority complex. Nothing about that adds up to being a “good man”.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

The problem is when they imply that “nice, funny and intelligent” is the number one priority, when in fact looks are the first priority, with the niceness, funniness and intelligence being a nice bonus.

That is not quite logical as personality can have an impact on a person’s looks as Cassandra stated both in just ordinary course of life and when you get to know a person.

A person who you think is unattractive at the start may become attractive as you get to know them.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

So, MRAL, how should women decide who to fuck?

Because it appears the only way that doesn’t make us snotty bitches is a fucking lottery.

I’m an exploitative bitch if I like a guy who’s nice to me, a shallow bitch if I like a guy who’s physically attractive to me, a gold-digging bitch if I like a guy who’s successful or talented, and a beta-exploiting bitch if I like a nerdy guy. What’s fucking left?

Apparently if I like a guy who drew QX532A and called it into the redemption center.

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

What’s left, after you remove the nice, the sexy, the successful, the talented, and the intelligent?

MRAL.

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

I’m actually not just insulting him, btw.

that’s the genesis of this. If he’s not getting laid, all of us are bitchez, bitches, and HER HOLY/ROYAL HIGHNESSES. Every last one of us. I’m not sure what he plans to change when he finally does, but I’m betting it’s carving out some tiny exception. That’s it. That’s hte only way for any woman to win this game; fuck MRAL. Yet he expects us to give a shit.