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Jezebel channels The Spearhead with an odious piece on Amber Cole

Jezebel has apparently decided to gin up some page views by running a bizarre, victim-blaming, slut-shaming, skeevily prurient screed on Amber Cole, the 14-year old African American girl who was videotaped giving oral sex to some boys; the video got posted online and, despite the fact that it was, you know, child porn, went viral. The story itself is appalling; so is the screed, written by a guy pretending (for rhetorical effect) that he’s Cole’s father. It reads like something you’d find on The Spearhead.

The piece starts off melodramatically:

I am Amber Cole’s father. I am angry, confused and completely at a loss. I love my daughter. I want to guide her without suppressing her. That is not always easy.  Children need protection from their worst inclinations. That is not always easy. I am trying to convince her that the world will still love her if she keeps her clothes on.

Just to remind everyone again: the author is not actually Cole’s father. (And Amber Cole is apparently not her real name.)

The screed quickly descends into an attack on the girl’s mother that reads like something you’d read in the comments section of The Spearhead or In Mala Fide:

She would listen to her mother, if her mother was not busy. Doing something, anything that is not parenting.  I want her mother to spend less time being “empowered” and more time being aware and engaged with our daughter.

And it only goes downhill from there. We get a section essentially blaming girls at large for the incident, because they allegedly ignore the “nice guys” who would never make such a tape. We get a section blaming the “mother’s boyfriend, Karrine Steffans or Kim Kardashian” for teaching the girl to be “proficient at such a difficult act. … I want to know why my 14 year-old knows so much about oral sex.”

And then we get a ridiculous race-baiting rant about white feminists and the Slutwalks:

White feminists can teach their own little girls to find empowerment through their crotches – my brown little girl cannot afford to be that carefree and cavalier with her life choices. Slutlife is the hard, lonely vocation of rich, educated, privileged white women who will fuck The World, contract social diseases and still, somehow find a husband. No black woman ever got far being a slut. I want to know what kind of women “slutwalk,” while young impressionable girls of all kinds look on with wonder and admiration.

After placing blame for the whole thing on just about every girl and woman in the world, the author comes to the father:

I am Amber Cole’s father. Don’t ask where I was that afternoon, because you already know. I was at work, just like you. I do not live with her, cannot always talk to her, cannot always be there. Not the way I want, and there are few laws to help me. To protect me and my rights.

Because that’s the real issue here: Father’s Rights.

And then the big reveal:

I am Jimi Izrael. I am not really Amber Cole’s father.  But she is my daughter.

You do not think so. But she is your daughter too.

Go read the whole thing. It’s appalling. Then read Jeff Fecke’s takedown of it on Alas, a Blog.

Ironically, Jezebel ran an excellent piece on the subject about a week ago.

WTF, Jezebel? Are page views really that important?

EDITED: I reworked a bit about the (real)  father that I originally formulated badly.

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Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

“Empowered” means “having power.” It means being able to make one’s own decisions and put them into effect.

When did it become a sneering synonym for “naughty woman who thinks she’s too important to do her womanly duties?”

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

The article itself isn’t even the worst part (and yes, it’s horrible). The worst part is that there are comments going “omg I totally agree with this thank you for writing it”.

Caraz
Caraz
9 years ago

Jezebel is one of the Gawker group sites isn’t it? They ALL seek page views by shoddy journalism and ‘baiting’ various groups.

I’m not saying Jezebel can’t run proper, insightful stories but this kind of thing coming from that kind of site does not surprise me.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

I read that piece yesterday and wondered where the hell I was.

There are valid concerns re: Slutwalks and feminists of color, but that “article” was neither the time nor the place to bring it up.

Podkayne
9 years ago

Jezebel fails and fails on purpose. I think their next headline may well be ‘Sexual assault just happens: cool it ladies who are not really ladies because you are skanks’.

Amnesia
Amnesia
9 years ago

You don’t need to bring up race or feminism or sexuality or even whether she consented to the blowjob/recording to know what’s wrong with this. This is a sex video of a 14 year-old. It’s child pornography and it’s illegal. GET IT OFF THE INTERNET!

budmin
budmin
9 years ago

How could they not see that this person was faking? Oh wait< they were exploiting the situation Tooo! I get it.

If you cant compete porn ya might as well match it.

budmin
budmin
9 years ago

If you cant compete “with” porn ya might as well match it

blitzgal
9 years ago

Commenters at Jezebel indicate that this guy Jimi Izrael has a history of these kinds of women-blaming screeds. According to the article linked at Jezebel, the REAL father of this girl puts the blame where it belongs — on the guys who taped this and violated her privacy by posting it online.

girlscientist
girlscientist
9 years ago

I love that this guy pretends to be Amber Cole’s father and calls the guys who coerced her into this, filmed her and put it on Youtube… his friends. Amber Cole’s real father? He called the cops on them, like a real father would, like I’m sure my father would have done if I’d found myself in the same situation.

budmin
budmin
9 years ago

I have a question though..Does anybody feel that a good father figure would have stopped this from happening?

My sisters and I all agree that it might be the case for parental (father) abandonment? Whats your take?

mayfly
mayfly
9 years ago

It’s pretty telling that Jimi Izrael blames the “empowered” mother, Kim Kardashian, and feminists for this incident, rather than the boys who made the video and the thousands of men (including Izrael himself) who downloaded, watched, and shared it.

However, apparently Izrael is well-known for his issues with women, particularly black women. Ironically, in spite of all his hand-wringing over Kardashian et al, he’s “currently shopping and developing a premium cable sitcom vehicle,”PornStar,” for adult film icon Mr. Marcus.”

tenya
tenya
9 years ago

Jezebel pulls this stunt every couple of months, sometimes even in complete contradiction to a previous article – “let’s throw something up really revolting and call it ‘generating discussion’ or ‘presenting different opinions’ when we know it will mostly massage our secretly uncomfortable with sex commenters and inflame a lot of other people! Win-win-win!”

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

All I can say is: fuck this noise. Bunch of emotionally manipulative, exploitative garbage.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
9 years ago

God in heaven.

What a perfect storm of bullshit. Child porn, slut-shaming, Nice-guy-ism, soft-bigotry, intersectionality, invasion of privacy, finger pointing, a barely hidden MRA family court screed… and in the middle of it a 14 year old girl.

A 14 year old girl who neither Jimi Izrael nor Jezebel seem to give a fuck about.

And as an added bonus, I’ll undoubtedly get to read all sorts of disgusting, hateful things about women of color to boot. Happy day.

filetofswedishfish
9 years ago

Oh, Jezebel. I used to be a starred commenter over there, probably one or two ish years ago now. They do an epic fail like this every so often to garner page views. I stopped reading after one such article by a guest poster. IIRC, it was a guy talking about how French laydeez are oh totes cool with sexual assault on the street and near rape, because they are so much more laid back, you know? and like, more better than American women and we should just cool it with the Hollaback, you know, cause being cooler with it makes the French ladies sexy and didn’t we want to be sexy?

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am unsurprised, really. Also, that the piece is garbage. The fault lies nowhere but with the boys who taped it and put it on the internet. In before NWO or someone comes here and blasts this girl and women everywhere for…well, everything.

mayfly
mayfly
9 years ago

Also, I hope he gets prosecuted for PUBLICLY ADMITTING to watching child porn.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Budmin (and any other troll who rolls up in here): it doesn’t matter what her family life is like, it matters that three boys TAPED AND UPLOADED THAT MESS ON THE INTERNET.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

My sisters and I all agree that it might be the case for parental (father) abandonment? Whats your take?

Are you trolling?

My take is that it’s a case of people distributing child porn, and the blame lies on the people who did that, and not on anyone else. The problem here is not “young girl has sex.” The problem is “boys (and various adults spreading the video and/or finger-wagging at it) use fact that young girl has sex to publicly and illegally humiliate her.”

qwert666
qwert666
9 years ago

I’ve never been to the Jezebel site, but I have noticed it linked to on this site under the list of “Antidotes to Boobery”.

KathleenB
KathleenB
9 years ago

Ugh, there is not a middle finger in the universe big enough to express my feelings about this article. Really, Jezebel?

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
9 years ago

I have a question though..Does anybody feel that a good father figure would have stopped this from happening?

What the fuck does this mean? Seriously? What does it mean?

KathleenB
KathleenB
9 years ago

I have a question though..Does anybody feel that a good father figure would have stopped this from happening?

How would he stop this? Locking her up in her room 24/7 and having a bodyguard follow her around school? The first is illegal and the second is expensive.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

Nobinayamu: I think it means, “Hey, do you guys wanna blame the dad? You probably wanna blame the dad, right? Because, y’know…feminists…”

filetofswedishfish
9 years ago

I think a decent any kind of figure could have stopped this, yes. I think said figure would have taught those boys NOT TO TREAT OTHERS LIKE THIS.

BlackBloc
BlackBloc
9 years ago

If this was my blog, I would certainly be taking Jezebel out of my ‘feminist-like’ blogroll…

Since this is not my blog, all I can say is… if this was my blog, etc etc.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth

I would think a father would have taught his sons to have more respect for their female friends/acquaintances and would have known that posting stuff online is a bad idea without permission (or when the girl is, you know, a 14 year old girl.)

Then there would be no video because the boys would have known better then to do this in the first place.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

@filetofswedishfish, that is the same article that made me decide Jezebel is a joke. Especially after they put up a not-pology about how they were trying to “explore different perspectives” or some such bullshit.

As far as the article in the OP: excuse me while I vomit for half an hour. You want to spew your bigotry, do it without exploiting a young girl who has already been exploited to an incredible extreme.

I want to know who has been teaching my little girl how to act like a woman while I have been trying to teach her to be a young lady.

Because women = dirty. Young lady = only does things with her body that her daddy allows her to. Gross.

FelixBC
FelixBC
9 years ago

Interesting author. http://www.theroot.com/views/bound-denzel-principle

The thing is, some black women say they have trouble finding the right guy, but the truth is some of them manage to find a new one every night, and word gets around. Or they find great guys—legitimately good brothers with jobs, benefits and all their own teeth—and stay happy for about 15 minutes. Then they wear them out emotionally (rarely sexually), get bored, step out of the relationship and throw the proverbial dice in hopes of an upgrade. This becomes routine, and they end up spending their golden years with 50 cats and 150 ceramic collectibles, trying to lure the mailman inside with a plate of food.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

FelixBC:

Again with the cats. What did cats DO to MRAs?

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

What is it with cats?

I think more than half of everyone I know–male, female, neither/both, single, partnered, neither/both–has a cat. They’re a really common housepet. Lower maintenance than a dog and more interactive than a cage pet.

Why do these guys always think of cats as exclusive to Forever Alone women?

Amused
Amused
9 years ago

It amazes me how twisted and thick-headed MRA’s are. People don’t have sex for “empowerment”. They have sex for pleasure, at least ideally. What’s empowering (although it’s only a small facet of empowerment) is being able to do something simply because it gives you pleasure, not because of duty or coercion, and without the need to come up with some convoluted utilitarian justification. After all, if you do something for yourself, rather than for others, it means you own yourself — and that’s empowerment, contrasted against the idea that women exists solely FOR men, first as daughters, then as wives, and finally as mothers.

This shameful piece encapsulates this bias perfectly: only women are faulted for not thwarting their own desires, lectured on being selfish and not giving enough thought to the preferences and opinions of men. The boys on the other hand are given a pass because they are boys. Men are allowed to do things for pleasure; women must accommodate them and never, ever, ever look out for themselves.

In other words, MRA wisdom can be distilled to the following maxim: Women don’t like sex, and if they don’t do it to honor their fathers, they must be doing it because they are “empowered” man-hated bitches; and women who do like sex are dirty, dirty sluts.

Buttman
Buttman
9 years ago

I don’t see the relevance of her race. Stop being so divisive.

LyssatakeaBow
LyssatakeaBow
9 years ago

It amazes me how twisted and thick-headed MRA’s are. People don’t have sex for “empowerment”. They have sex for pleasure, at least ideally.

well i guess in MRA land women have sex for empowerment, not pleasure, but men just do it for pleasure. which is why rape isn’t about power its about their insatiable sex drives.

ughhhhhh

nofatherfigure
nofatherfigure
9 years ago

“My sisters and I all agree that it might be the case for parental (father) abandonment? Whats your take?”

Bull. My father died when I was 4 months old… and I like millions of male children of working single parents know perfectly well that taping someone having sex without their consent (and tip for you, children CANNOT CONSENT) and then posting on the internet is just plain wrong.

It doesn’t take a father to teach you that what those boys did (and the pedophiles who distributed the video AND those piling shame on the victim) is just sleazy, awful and wrong.

Glad to hear that this girls REAL father is doing the right thing as opposed to this blowhard.

G.L. Piggy
9 years ago

Why is this the Amber Cole video? The boys were the ones exposed.

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

WTF is wrong with this man… No, that’s not right. The question is, what isn’t wrong with this man?

The boys who taped it are his friends. Amber is a slut. He watched child pornography. His main problem is that this young girl had sex, and is apparently good at it. Also, his rights as a father are not respected enough. Feminists and their daughters are all slut who only exist through sex. As a MAN, he has a right to tell what to do to every woman in his life.

Wait… He is self aware!?
“You say what you would do, what you would say, but you have no idea. We are all great parents with other people’s children.”
Nope, that actually doesn’t make any sense.

“Why can’t this be about my daughter? No, this is not about blame.”
Because she did nothing wrong. Whoever taped that and whoever watched it should be blamed, at the very least.

Also, apparently having poster of shakira make you a slut, or vulnerable, or confused, or whatever.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

It amazes me how twisted and thick-headed MRA’s are. People don’t have sex for “empowerment”. They have sex for pleasure, at least ideally.

I think this may be a matter of confusing cause and effect. Sex itself is not “empowering”, it’s something that people want to be empowered to do, or not do, as they see fit.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Does the author here know anything about Amber Cole’s actual family situation? I don’t think it’s public knowledge even which parent or parents she lives which, much less details like her mom being too “empowered” and her dad shut out of her life against his wishes.

If he’s going to rail against the situation in an entirely fictional family, he could have the common decency not to use a real person’s name.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
9 years ago

Does the author here know anything about Amber Cole’s actual family situation? I don’t think it’s public knowledge even which parent or parents she lives which, much less details like her mom being too “empowered” and her dad shut out of her life against his wishes.

No. Of course not. Why would he bother with things like “facts” and “research”? Jimi Izrael is projecting because he has a young, teenaged daughter. His relationship with her is not as consistent as he’d like it to be and he seems to blame her mother, a woman he’s described as both “wonderful” and “disengaged”.

He doesn’t know anything about Amber Cole’s father, their relationship, or anything else. It’s quite clear that he doesn’t give a shit. Amber Cole’s father isn’t going on and on about how when he was a kid he would’ve friends with the guys who did this and he isn’t using what happened to his daughter to grind his axe about women who didn’t date him.

Jimi Izrael’s daughter has a long road ahead of her.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
9 years ago

Why is this the Amber Cole video? The boys were the ones exposed.

Quick: What are their names?

Rutee Katreya
9 years ago

Why is this the Amber Cole video? The boys were the ones exposed.

He’s like two inches away from enlightenment with this observation.

Molly Ren
9 years ago

“He’s like two inches away from enlightenment with this observation.”

You think he’s suddenly going to realize underage sex is bad? You have more faith in him than I do.

Hershele Ostropoler
9 years ago

budmin:

I have a question though..Does anybody feel that a good father figure would have stopped this from happening?

I don’t know about fathers specifically, but yes, if the boys who put the video on the internet had been properly brought up, this wouldn’t have happened.

That said, this society does tend to assign fathers qua fathers the task of teaching boys about respect, particularly respect for women.

Budmin
Budmin
9 years ago

Hold the phone.. Holly Pervocracy  Put your troll gun back in the holster. I like most dudes would consider myself to be an Authoritarian. (It’s not about slut shaming as much as it’s about bad decision shaming)

My question is to wonder if the classic approach to fatherhood would have  changed matters. I blame the father because I would’ve blamed Myself okay.

Cuz that’s what men do we defer to authority..okay..

I could understand your push 4 prose idiom but my hope is for prevention..okay

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Budmin – If I’m going to blame fathers, I’d blame the boys’ fathers. The boys are the ones who made the really bad decision here.

I don’t know what you’re going on about with the “men love authority” thing but I suspect a lot of the men you’re speaking for would like you to stop it.

zhinxy
9 years ago

Budmin – I like most dudes would consider myself to be an Authoritarian

Can you expound on just what you mean by this? If you mean that there’s a culture of “manliness” that’s very hieriarchal in our society, sure. But I don’t think most men would
consider themselves to be an “Authoritarian” explicitly, or even unconsciously. I genuinely want to hear more about your perceptions in this area.

Re the whole damn Jezebel article – I just can’t do anything but puke.

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
9 years ago

Misandry and female privilege hurt everyone, and this is a textbook example. When women ride the cock carousel till the cows come home, valuing looks over literally everything else – even integrity – this will happen. Because even the worst douchebag can get women (so long as he’s lucky enough to be born a Pittclone). Tell the feminists to stop, cut off misandry and female privilege at its roots, cut off female arrogance and shallowness, and this won’t happen, because assholism will be considered a negative trait, rather than a neutral one.

Kyrie
Kyrie
9 years ago

“I like most dudes would consider myself […]” People, could you please stop talking for anybody else but you?

“It’s not about slut shaming as much as it’s about bad decision shaming” What’s the point? You recognize a bad decision in that it has bad consequences. Why would you add shaming to any problem?

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

“I like most dudes would consider myself […]” People, could you please stop talking for anybody else but you?

I second this. That shit is really annoying and presumptuous.

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