The other day we met some Men Going Their Own Way who are so baffled by lesbianism that they simply refuse to believe that lesbians actually exist. But not all MGTOWers hold this position. Indeed, one new visitor to MGTOWforums.com, a guy calling himself Chainsaw King, has a rather different take: Lesbians not only exist, he argues; they are in his opinion “the only good women.” Let’s hear him out:
Yes, I acknowledge the existence of Roise O’Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres, and whatever other celebrity lesbian you hate. …
But it would be foolish to judge all lesbians based on the evil that is Ellen.
I’m sort of involved with the gay community, which is something I reccomend to the people here if you have no problem with them. … Anyway, because of that I’m also friends with a lot of lesbians … Their personalities are likeable – and they show signs of empathy and intellect, to mention the least.
That sound you hear is a thousand tiny MGTOW heads exploding.
Yeah, there are some fat or butch loud whores and “bisexuals” who act like the typical woman. But I’m not even sure if they’re really lesbian; just man haters or something. Ignore them.
I’m not just saying this because I’m pro-gay or anything. I honestly couldn’t give a shit. It’s really remarkable; like if I had no exposure to lesbians and I read this post, I’d probably class it as bullshit. Meet some for yourself to prove it.
As you can imagine, this argument did not go over very well with most of the regulars. (The thread is short; I’m not going to bother linking to individual comments.)
Forum moderator MrLahey responded bluntly:
Being a lesbian removes the only incentive I’d ever have to interact with her. Catch 22 ? 😛
Goldenfetus, meanwhile, reiterated the “lesbians don’t exist” theory we examined the other day:
I’m not even sure I believe in lesbians. I have the vague impression it’s just a phase of man-hating or penis-envy-revenge that most women outgrow. The only one I know is a cousin who was always posting lesbo crap on Facebook when I still used it. She was more accurately ‘lesbian until graduation’ than full-blown, but still far from what you describe. The few others I have been exposed to were c****. Maybe I’ll accept this challenge to meet some in the wild, but I don’t know where, exactly, to begin.
Goldenfetus, even though I’m a straight dude I think in this one instance I can speak for the lesbians of the world when I say: Don’t bother to try to meet any actual lesbians. Just continue imagining that they don’t exist, and they will continue to imagine that you don’t exist, and everyone will be happy.
Most of the other commenters, while not denying the very existence of lesbians, were simply baffled by the notion that lesbians could possibly be decent human beings. “I thought lesbians usually hate men even more than straight women do,” Truyardy wondered. “I thought lesbians make up a large portion of the feminazi community.”
shade47, previously on record as a Lesbian Denier, seems to have changed his mind on this point. But he still doesn’t seem to fully understand the concept of lesbianism:
I’m calling big time bullshit on the origional poster. Awalt [All Women Are Like That] goes for lesbos too. Why hang out with a cool lesbo when you can safely hang out with a normal cool male friend. women are women noatter what is politically correct and if you and your super cool lesbo pal get really drunk one night and fuck it is exponentially more likely she will make a false accusation against you to save face… Never will happen with male friends.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that thing with the “super cool lesbo pal” is never gonna happen either.
Womanhater offered the most ingenious MGTOWer solution to the Lesbian Problem: He managed to express his deep hatred of lesbians –while simultaneously arguing that they (or at least 90% of them) don’t really exist. Let’s see how he pulled this off:
Dykes are women. That really is all that should need to be said.
I find that in my experience 90-95% of dykes are man-haters. There are indeed that delightful 5-10% that are just wired to like twat, but the other 90-95% are lesbo because they are either too hateful, broken, envious, whatever to sustain a relationship with a man. …
[N]o matter how you slice it, a dyke has 2 X chromosomes, and is therefore firmly beneath the AWALT [All Women Are Like That] umbrella in my book.
And that was pretty much the final word on that subject. Chainsaw King doesn’t seem to have returned to the thread to see the mess he’s created. Or maybe he saw it and fled in horror and disgust.
There were, however, a few other commenters who used the thread as an opportunity to vent their hatred not of lesbians but of gay men – or at least the “flamboyant” kind. I think you may be able to guess their main objection. Sam I Am was the most, er, eloquent of the bunch:
Flambuoyant gay men are just…. abnormal. They get really fucking annoying really quickly…
They are men, but they’re acting like bitches… like, on fucking purpose. That’s abnormal and annoying just like … I dunno.. a person who just talks too fucking much. Two — you can’t make up your mind whether you’re more annoyed at the abnormality of men acting and talking like women, or at the feeling that you’re just around a bunch of women, period.
I don’t think MGTOWers will be invited to march in any Pride Parades any time soon.
It’s true, hellkell, that is what we’re here for. Brandon just hasn’t realized he’s the joke yet.
What’s that odd, loud, staccato sound I sometimes make after I find something amusing then?
Should we make up a word for the “laughing” feminists do? Do we “faugh?”
@Julie: So basically make something not funny = feminist humor. Gotcha!
Wow you are dumb. Nope. Make it more intelligent, make it more complex, make it reflect rather than just plain mean. But you go on and like the humor you are ready for Brandon, it’s ok to be at that level. Maybe in time, you’ll be ready for more. We’ll wait.
Oh, feminists and our no-sense-of-humor.
Hey Brandon – YOU’RE A WORTHLESS FUCKHEAD AND NOBODY LIKES YOU. Ha ha!
It’s a joke! Laugh! Don’t get upset! You’re not allowed to get upset because I said it was a joke! You’re not allowed to think about what I said because I said it was a joke!
That’s sort of what it’s like.
Plus, the OP (remember that?) isn’t a joke anyway.
Anyway, here’s something that always makes me laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ofl_UP3apM
Because the only humor comes from putting people below you down, Julie! There is no other form of humor! Brandon declares it so!
Jeez, Brandon, the guy is just like a bad (worst?) version of Dane Cook but with an accent. Raise your standards for comedy. “Women are cunts! Lesbians are miserable! Bitches don’t pay!” Bostonian is right; this shit is beyond dated and lame. I laugh at comedians who use misogyny all the time… if the joke is actually funny and not just an unoriginal riff on a bit that’s 25 years old.
Dude, in what world is slipping on a banana peel not funny?
What a sad world Brandon must live in, to not see the humor in fruit-peel pratfalls.
I’ve been wasting so much time, Bostonian. Thanks to Brandon I can now run comedy festivals that are ALL INSULT ALL THE TIME! Whew!
I think he sees the humor there, Lauralot, and it’s there, surely, but he just can’t take it any farther. He’s not ready yet.
Rabbit,
I’ve read it in a few places. It’s a position that’s way out there and an extreme corner case.
Basically the assertion is that because there is a power imbalance between men and women in society and because men are typically stronger than women that all women are coerced into sex even if they think they aren’t.
As I recall Andrea Dworkin is a prominent example of a person who thinks this.
OK. Reading a bit more she says that’s not what she really meant. I’ll take her word on that.
I do know that a non-zero number of other people do think that’s what she meant and think that is the case.
@Nobinayamu: You should watch the whole show. He then calls religious people retarded and tells a story of him taking his disabled friend to a whore house to lose his virginity.
So he’s an asshole, Brandon. Yay. Are we going to spend all day posting YouTube videos of assholes? There’s lots out there. What would that prove?
Apparently misogyny is cool as long as you’re awful to everyone else too?
@Ray That’s… messed up. Actually, by that logic, wouldn’t all interracial sex between a white person and a POC (het or otherwise) also be considered rape, because, well, there’s a power imbalance between white people and people of color? Start following THAT logic to its natural conclusion and pretty soon all sex ever of any kind becomes rape. 😐
(It can’t really be a physical power thing, because a lot of men are kind of wimpy and a lot of women are pretty strong, so if it were about men being stronger then sex between one of these weak men and one of these buff women would not be rape… or would it be rape the other way ’round?)
I can’t follow any of this logic anywhere that makes sense. But I doubt anybody here believes any of that anyway, even the MRA trolls.
Rabbit,
Yeah. It’s not a mainstream position at all. Nor should it be. For the reasons you mention. But, you know, you take any large and diverse group of people and you can find nutters.
And no. Nobody I’ve seen here is of that stripe. At all. And in fact would rail against them in strong terms. For sure.
“Now, I’m kind of wondering if there’s a lesbian version of an MRA. Y’know, a woman who likes to screw women, but also violently hates them.”
I’ve dated that woman! Used “bitches” as a synonym for “women,” and thought her job (in the army–I know, we’re all shocked that the army could harbor misogyny) was much better when she was the only woman in her department.
I wish I’d figured it out sooner (misogynists don’t deserve to get laid, at least not by me), but being a female MRA makes it a lot easier to conceal.
“Hush your mouth! Doesn’t he know that everytime a little boy or girls says they don’t believe in lesbians, somewhere in the world a little lesbian drops down dead?”
Damn you stole my bit! Quick! Clap your hands really fast to bring lesbians back to life!
Your jokes are wasted here, ladies! Feminists don’t laugh.
Brandon, I watched the clip – all six minutes and thirty odd seconds of it. I’m not really intrigued enough to pursue it further.
My issue isn’t his subject matter. I don’t find him funny. That kind of stage-pacing, nonchalant, half-ranting but non-committed thing doesn’t really work for me. Not any more at any rate. It was probably funny the first few times I saw a comedian use it. It’s just been done to death at this point. His timing isn’t bad, I’ll give him that.
But what I saw was devoid of originality, lacked any sense of absurdity (I like my stand-up with a bit of the absurd or surreal and if the comic can’t bring that, I need side splitting, hyper-ventilating style belly-laughs) and had no vulnerablity. It’s the personal, the willingness to truly go out there and express something genuinely offensive, to be vulnerable that elevates stand-up from decent to brilliant.
Watch Richard Pryor’s Live at the Sunset Strip and then tell me that this guy is funny. Watch Chris Rock’s(who touches on some of the same material) Bring the Pain and compare his delivery to this guy’s “I-so-don’t-care” stage-pacing and get back to me. Go listen to Lenny Bruce; watch a routine by Russell Peters.
Hell, watch George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Margaret Cho, even Eddie Murphy’s old stuff–seriously complex and not just based on insults. If you’re going to do insults, you better be Dom Rickles.
An actually funny clip!
Personally, I think that the twats should just take the dick they’re offered. It’s more than they deserve.
Oh Izzard is SO good. So smart. Sexy as hell.