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“Remember that pussy is a biochemical WMD; wherever it is used, there is mass chaos and destruction.”

Spock tries to warn the Captain about the evil vagina.

The daffy, excitable Man Going His Own Way who calls himself MarkyMark may be my favorite manosphere blogger of all. Not only does he bring the lulz himself – who can forget the time he wrote a completely unironic point by point rebuttal of an Onion article? – but he also helps to bring attention to the equally stupefying work of others.

In his latest post, he directs our attention to some observations made by fellow MGTOWer Spock’s Disciple on the Happy Bachelors forum on the subject of pussy and its discontents. “This is good stuff, stuff my boys need to read,” Mark writes. “[Spock’s Disciple], like his hero, applied cold hearted logic when analzying pussy. The Force is STRONG with that one!”

Yes, he actually wrote that. I don’t think it’s a joke. I think he honestly does not know that there is a difference between Star Trek and Star Wars. How that is possible, I do not know.

Anyway, on to the eminently rational Spock’s Disciple, reflecting on the irrational power of the ladybits:

Remember that pussy is a biochemical WMD; wherever it is used, there is mass chaos and destruction.  How many wars and conflicts have been fought at the urging and behest of women? More than any honest man would admit to and would be proud of.

Young men are apparently helpless in the face of the punany:

The need for pussy is a very real and built in addiction for men.  We are hardwired by nature for sex and procreation. … [T]he sight and sound of pussy blinds younger men and allows them to be controlled by women though their hormones.

The, uh, SOUND of pussy? If I had to pick just two (or three, or four) sensory experiences relating to the vagina that would be generally considered appealing to heterosexual males, I’m not sure “sound” would make the cut.

But eventually even the horniest dudes start to get less horny – and thus less hypnotized by the power of the pussy. The only trouble is that by the time they lose interest in sex most of them are married, and they’re now stuck with the woman whose vagina formerly had them in thrall. It’s a grave injustice.

[W]hen most men pass the age of 30-35, they begin to awaken from this biochemical “dream” and what do they awaken beside? What do married men look forward to the next 30-50 years of their lives? Sleeping with a living corpse, which continues to torture and destroy them day by day? Looking forward to the time when the woman undergoes the process of metamorphosis, into a completely insane mummy (menopause and post menopause)?

This seems a tad alarmist. I mean, if your wife turns into a monster zombie-mummy – as all women apparently do after they hit their mid-thirties – you could always get separate bedrooms.

But Obi-Wan’s Spock’s Disciple has a more radical solution: don’t get into bed with the ladies in the first place!

Pussy is indeed way overrated and if younger men could get a shot of “anti-testosterone” for a few weeks, they could see through the eyes of men who are 40+; without the haze of hormones, you cannot believe how much farther you can see! It’s the difference between seeing the horizon through LA style smog and seeing the horizon from a high mountain in the Rockies.

Pussy is a man’s Achilles heel; once that man realizes this and takes the appropriate steps, he’ll never lose his peace of mind again.  To these skeptical young men I say, there is an infinitely vast arena where you can have anything you desire, and can succeed at anything you wish to try for; all you have to do is see women for what they truly are, and become a master of the beast within; once you do that women’s true face will be visible to you, and you’ll never again partake of that foul potion.

It is possible to tame that beast, and indeed it is a certainty that you will learn much from the process of taming it; all it takes is patience and time. Look at your fellow men, your brothers in arms, and look at their almost invisible chains, and wonder at why you would desire such an existence for yourself?

And, hey, if all else fails, MarkyMark adds some advice of his own: pay a visit to Pamela Handerson before going out on the town with one of those vagina-people.

[T]here is one thing that the younger men can do until their sex drives die down permanently: masturbate before going out with a woman.  … To put it another way, since the little head had been, shall we say, quieted down, the bigger head could work properly; the bigger head will then allow you to see a woman for who she REALLY is. 

If you’re a fan of Spock, and looking for appropriate masturbatory material, might I suggest this?

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hellkell
hellkell
13 years ago

@Ithilliana: I’d bet that WOC who are not Halle Berry are also pre-screened.

I love it when guys bitch about gold-diggers, especially when they ain’t got no gold to dig.

You screen for compassion, Brandon? That’s surprising. Oh, wait, I get it, her level of compassion towards you, not the other way around.

hellkell
hellkell
13 years ago

I take that back, Brandon’s a goldbug, so he does have ACTUAL gold in them thar hills!

Brandon
Brandon
13 years ago

@Hellkell: compassion towards me, strangers, children, family, parents. You can judge a lot by a person by how well they treat strangers.

juliejezebel
13 years ago

To be fair to Brandon, and god knows I haven’t been in the past, and I hope this kindness doesn’t bite me in the ass, I don’t find much wrong in screening people. I do think that we unconsciously do this most of the time. “Will this person be friendly or foe-ish?” “Democrat or Republican?” So forth. And as a poly person when I’ve been more actively dating, I’ve done my own screening in coffee dates and such. Do they support similar things, politics etc.
I don’t suppose it’s uncommon, is all I’m saying.

Brandon
Brandon
13 years ago

@Hellkell: It’s funny that you mock that since gold is actually irrelevant in this conversation.

I screen girls that think it is my job to buy them shit. Better?

Brandon
Brandon
13 years ago

@Julie: everyone screens. Women do it, men do it. The only people that I found that don’t screen are desperate people..

FelixBC
FelixBC
13 years ago

I definitely screen people for stupid ass opinions. If they start sentences with “All women” or “All men”, then I know it’s not going to end well. Also sentences with phrases like “It’s all shit now, not like it used to be in the golden age of ____” (Insert 1950s, bonobos, gorillas, Brandonworld, whatever.)

KathleenB
KathleenB
13 years ago

Brandon: With the advent of low cost, easy access DNA testing, how many false paternity claims are actually made nowadays? I mean, back when the only test was blood typing and even that was often inadmissible, I can see the problems, but now? Not so much.

hellkell
hellkell
13 years ago

Brandon, you derail shit all the time, don’t talk to me about relevancy.

CassandraSays
13 years ago

Well, I screen potential dates for sexism, Republicanism, and level of religious devotion, so if Brandon wants to screen for feminists I don’t really care. Just as long as he realizes that lots of women are actively screening him out too, and doesn’t whine about it.

Brandon
Brandon
13 years ago

@KathleenB: It’s not the paternity fraud part that concerns me. It is what side she takes. Does she defend the man who has been lied to or does she defend the woman simply because she is a woman and she has to “protect the sisterhood”. Does she see right and wrong without taking gender sides? That is what is important to me.

@Hellkell: Man…you are doing terrible. That’s like “strike 135”.

@FelixBC: “BrandonWorld” …I like it!

hellkell
hellkell
13 years ago

I’m so glad you’re keeping score. Let me find a tiny rat’s ass to give.

FelixBC
FelixBC
13 years ago

Of course you do.

ithiliana
ithiliana
13 years ago

Juliejezabel: I agree–screening is common.

But most people don’t go around broadcasting it in public; most people don’t talk about obnoxious little tests in the specific way he does, and most importantly, most people do not have the track record he does her — so at this point, if he said it was raining outside, I’d be taking the context into account (as we all do). “Brandon said it, odds are it’s fake, assholish, or both.”

And I’m really wondering if he understands deep down that women are doing it to him–I’m not sure he even acknowledges that women have any autonomy or life that doesn’t revolve around TEHMENZ.

cynickal
cynickal
13 years ago

@cynickal: Ya, and I bet those consultants are industry or field specific.

That’s not what you were arguing.
“The executive officers have far more experience as to what their company needs than some random outsider.”

If these Ubermench Executive Officers had “far more experience as to what their company needs than some random outsider” they’d be able to provide the direction and processes that “their company needs” rather than what an outsider would bring.

Also the company bought those services, the company didn’t have the consultant forced on them.

Complete non sequitor. It has nothing to do with the syphoning off of vital capital needed to ensure marker share of a company.

Brandon
Brandon
13 years ago

@ithiliana: Ya, women screen me. And I am no stranger to rejection. But if she is going to reject me, why should I care? Better yet, she probably wouldn’t make a good girlfriend for me. So by her rejecting me, she is doing me a favor.

Brandon
Brandon
13 years ago

@Cynickal: Did you not see the phase “random outsider”? As in “pick a random person and pray they can advise a company”. Who knows though? maybe a consultant will be the random person picked.

kristinmh
kristinmh
13 years ago

Why precisely are you screening them?

Juliejezebel, in case of false rape accusations! Because that’s what feminists love to do!

I think you should tell every woman you meet that you plan on recording any and all sexual encounters, Brandon. That might not screen them well for YOU, but it would sure as hell knock you off of most women’s “To Fuck” lists.

Nobinayamu
Nobinayamu
13 years ago

I’m fascinated by the notion that there’s a standard feminist answer to questions about paternity fraud. I’m a feminist, Brandon. What are my feminist opinions on shares parenting and paternity fraud?

KathleenB
KathleenB
13 years ago

Brandon: Lying about who is the father of your child is a shit thing to do in nearly all circumstances. In fact, I can’t think of one in which I, personally, would find it morally acceptable.

Brandon
Brandon
13 years ago

@Nobinayamu: You are missing the point. The questions I ask about shared parenting and paternity fraud are basically irrelevant. Their only purpose is so I can segue into asking if she is or isn’t a feminist.

KathleenB
KathleenB
13 years ago

And where the hell do you get the idea that feminists don’t call out each other’s bullshit? This happens All. The. Fucking. Time. Like with the recent Jezebel post.

Brandon
Brandon
13 years ago

@KathleenB: Lying about who the father is is a shit thing to do in ALL circumstances. I don’t care about the paternity case. I care if she is coming to the defense of a lying woman over a male victim.

Moewicus
Moewicus
13 years ago

heh, I like the image of Brandon thinking he’s being suave and “subconscious” when he’s probably “that guy with the chip on his shoulder about paternity fraud and feminism” to women he talks to. Keep up that screening work, Brandon, you’re doing a lot of women a favor.

hellkell
hellkell
13 years ago

Nobinayamu, how dare you miss Brandon’s point? For shame, lady!

Wait, Brandon, I thought you subconsciously directed the conversations so you could smoke them out. But if you outright ask, that’s not exactly subterfuge, dude.

I know, we’re all missing the point.

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