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“Remember that pussy is a biochemical WMD; wherever it is used, there is mass chaos and destruction.”

Spock tries to warn the Captain about the evil vagina.

The daffy, excitable Man Going His Own Way who calls himself MarkyMark may be my favorite manosphere blogger of all. Not only does he bring the lulz himself – who can forget the time he wrote a completely unironic point by point rebuttal of an Onion article? – but he also helps to bring attention to the equally stupefying work of others.

In his latest post, he directs our attention to some observations made by fellow MGTOWer Spock’s Disciple on the Happy Bachelors forum on the subject of pussy and its discontents. “This is good stuff, stuff my boys need to read,” Mark writes. “[Spock’s Disciple], like his hero, applied cold hearted logic when analzying pussy. The Force is STRONG with that one!”

Yes, he actually wrote that. I don’t think it’s a joke. I think he honestly does not know that there is a difference between Star Trek and Star Wars. How that is possible, I do not know.

Anyway, on to the eminently rational Spock’s Disciple, reflecting on the irrational power of the ladybits:

Remember that pussy is a biochemical WMD; wherever it is used, there is mass chaos and destruction.  How many wars and conflicts have been fought at the urging and behest of women? More than any honest man would admit to and would be proud of.

Young men are apparently helpless in the face of the punany:

The need for pussy is a very real and built in addiction for men.  We are hardwired by nature for sex and procreation. … [T]he sight and sound of pussy blinds younger men and allows them to be controlled by women though their hormones.

The, uh, SOUND of pussy? If I had to pick just two (or three, or four) sensory experiences relating to the vagina that would be generally considered appealing to heterosexual males, I’m not sure “sound” would make the cut.

But eventually even the horniest dudes start to get less horny – and thus less hypnotized by the power of the pussy. The only trouble is that by the time they lose interest in sex most of them are married, and they’re now stuck with the woman whose vagina formerly had them in thrall. It’s a grave injustice.

[W]hen most men pass the age of 30-35, they begin to awaken from this biochemical “dream” and what do they awaken beside? What do married men look forward to the next 30-50 years of their lives? Sleeping with a living corpse, which continues to torture and destroy them day by day? Looking forward to the time when the woman undergoes the process of metamorphosis, into a completely insane mummy (menopause and post menopause)?

This seems a tad alarmist. I mean, if your wife turns into a monster zombie-mummy – as all women apparently do after they hit their mid-thirties – you could always get separate bedrooms.

But Obi-Wan’s Spock’s Disciple has a more radical solution: don’t get into bed with the ladies in the first place!

Pussy is indeed way overrated and if younger men could get a shot of “anti-testosterone” for a few weeks, they could see through the eyes of men who are 40+; without the haze of hormones, you cannot believe how much farther you can see! It’s the difference between seeing the horizon through LA style smog and seeing the horizon from a high mountain in the Rockies.

Pussy is a man’s Achilles heel; once that man realizes this and takes the appropriate steps, he’ll never lose his peace of mind again.  To these skeptical young men I say, there is an infinitely vast arena where you can have anything you desire, and can succeed at anything you wish to try for; all you have to do is see women for what they truly are, and become a master of the beast within; once you do that women’s true face will be visible to you, and you’ll never again partake of that foul potion.

It is possible to tame that beast, and indeed it is a certainty that you will learn much from the process of taming it; all it takes is patience and time. Look at your fellow men, your brothers in arms, and look at their almost invisible chains, and wonder at why you would desire such an existence for yourself?

And, hey, if all else fails, MarkyMark adds some advice of his own: pay a visit to Pamela Handerson before going out on the town with one of those vagina-people.

[T]here is one thing that the younger men can do until their sex drives die down permanently: masturbate before going out with a woman.  … To put it another way, since the little head had been, shall we say, quieted down, the bigger head could work properly; the bigger head will then allow you to see a woman for who she REALLY is. 

If you’re a fan of Spock, and looking for appropriate masturbatory material, might I suggest this?

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Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

“Munitions-grade vaginas” made me snort loudly enough to startle the woman sitting beside me on the train. 1 Internet to you, Cassandra.

Shora
9 years ago

I don’t have a problem with people masturbating before their dates, what makes the advice weird is the notion that if you did this you would no longer be interested in dating.

It isn’t so much that as the fact that going into a date clear-headed is better for everyone involved than going into a date horny. Which, from my person experience, has been really sound advice.

HS
HS
9 years ago

Simon, are you confusing a high sex drive with a sex addiction? Not the same thing, FYI. And yes, lots of people have lots of sex outside of marriage, it’s kind of the a “done” thing these days. So is masturbation. These aren’t even mutually exclusive!

First time to this site, btw, and this whole comment section is hilarious.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

I love the Manboobz troll way: someone says “women’s pussies are WMDs and men are slaves to the pussy,” and the trolls come in to argue that gosh, men do have sex drives, why are we picking on the guy who pointed that out?

I wish my posts received reading that selective. I’d post “grind babies up and feed them to trout!” and my readers would say gosh, feeding trout is a totally legitimate activity.

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

I suppose trout do need to eat…

Moewicus
Moewicus
9 years ago

Why can’t you leave a humble trout fisherman alone, Holly?

Dracula
Dracula
9 years ago

But Meowicus, this will only mean more trout for all!

Shaenon
9 years ago

My dear little David! I do hope you do not include my gentle, loving, kindly, thoughtful and generous plan to put the men of the world under my solicitous boot-heel among your charges of “man-hating”!! As I have explained quite eloquently, I love men!!! I hate only “men,” those malicious and non-fluffy bearers of the John Thomas who mean-mindedly refuse to devote themselves to my service and pleasure!!!! There is nothing misandrist about hating such “men,” even though they comprise 100% of male humans currently walking the terrestrial sphere!!!!!

Ah, but things were different in the golden age now past!!!!!! I weep to think that I was born in this foul and corrupted epoch!!!!!!! Have you, David darling, ever stopped to shed a tear for the oppression I suffer from the dearth of fawning male slaveys in my kitchen and bed-chamber? Have you considered how much happier you would be if regularly and lovingly whipped by a kindly–

Alas!!!!!!!! Alack!!!!!!!!! My valve, it troubles me again!!!!!!!!! To the somnatorium for my bed-rest!!!!!!!!!!

PEACE AND BIOCHEMICAL DESTRUCTION!!!!!!!!!!!
SHAENON!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shora
9 years ago

Shaenon, I love you. Never change.

DYE
DYE
9 years ago

“But taking care of business prior to date, especially if it’s been a while and you find the person incredibly physically attractive is decent, gender neutral advice.

Yeah, the only problem there is that I doubt very much MarkyMark or his followers would ever believe this advice could be applied to women under any circumstances.”

Seriously??? In the vast majority of cases a woman is not on a date to “convince” a guy to have sex with her and he is not on the date to be “convinced” by her. It’s the other way around. There are exceptions, but it ain’t the rule. Do you not agree?

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
9 years ago

Life can inflict terrible injuries on men (and women). Why not leave these people to heal in peace?

AntZ, I don’t give people a free pass to be an asshole just because they may have gone through a divorce. You don’t even know if he has been in family court. You just pulled that one right out of your ass. Even if he did, though, he doesn’t need to get online and describe menopausal women as zombie mummies. The only reason you’re sticking up for him is because he’s an MRA.

cynickal
cynickal
9 years ago

Where would they get ideas of the p***y being a WMD? Just look at your posts on manboobz.com! For vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean mindedness, a LOT of female posts here would indeed go far!

I’m still wondering when Futrelle is going to change the name of his blog here from manboobz to womenbeinghateful.com?

I seem to be missing out on all this vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean mindedness.

Oh cruel wymynz, why must you oppress me with your vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean minded neglectful lack of vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean mindedness?!?!

Molly Ren
9 years ago

Shaenon, you need to write a steampunk novel. 😀

Broseidon
Broseidon
9 years ago

“Should I hold my breath waiting for DMK to make with the specific examples?”

To be fair, some folks here do strike me as the type who’d gleefully stab a man in the gut for looking at them funny, then innocently claim it was self-defense and he totally deserved it. Just sayin’.

Aydan
9 years ago

This thread brings the LOLs: ramming one’s crotch into the keyboard, munitions-grade vaginas, feeding babies to trout, and Joe’s typing with his penis. I suggest we save it as exhibit [whatever letter] of feminists having senses of humor.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

To be fair, some folks here do strike me as the type who’d gleefully stab a man in the gut for looking at them funny, then innocently claim it was self-defense and he totally deserved it. Just sayin’.

That’s funny, because you strike me as the type who’d body-paint himself entirely as a zebra and climb the Empire State Building while throwing increasingly dangerous-to-pedestrians pamphlets promoting homeopathy at the sidewalk, and other stuff I just completely made up.

I think I need to add “argument from what you would do, okay you haven’t, but I totally know you would” to the Shopworn Perennials.

Broseidon
Broseidon
9 years ago

That’s funny, because you strike me as the type who’d body-paint himself entirely as a zebra and climb the Empire State Building while throwing increasingly dangerous-to-pedestrians pamphlets promoting homeopathy at the sidewalk

Heh, yeah, that was a fun weekend.

Seriously though, y’all are hostile mean-spirited dicks.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Seriously! Just look at the horrible things you imagined us doing!

If we were nice people, I’m sure you would have imagined much nicer things.

And for fuck’s sake, look at the OP and tell me what “hostile” and “mean-spirited” look like.

Simon
Simon
9 years ago

@Shora:

Simon, what does this even mean? You know sex isn’t even nearly the same as drug use, right? Hell, sex is GOOD for you.

I meant, that maybe some people are not able to live celibate, exactly as a drug addict may not be able to abstain.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

I meant, that maybe some people are not able to live celibate, exactly as a drug addict may not be able to abstain.

Well, then they should… stop hating women?

I’m not sure what you’re arguing for. It sounds a lot like “but what if a person needs to have sex with women and need to hate women?” and I’m afraid the answer is no, women will not be down with that, our tremendous apologies.

Hershele Ostropoler
9 years ago

hellkell:

Well, mine is the bomb. However, it has no UN inspectors

Maybe you’re hanging out in the wrong bars.

cynickal:

I seem to be missing out on all this vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean mindedness.

Well, you have to read it the correct way. They don’t make the V., M.-H., V., M., & M. M. visible to just anybody, you know.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Brosiedon: If we’re hostile, mean-spirited dicks, why do you come here?

Hershele Ostropoler: I’ll have to start calling my husband “Mr. UN Inspector.” 🙂

KathleenB
KathleenB
9 years ago

Broseidon: Wait, what? This is a site dedicated to mocking misogyny. The fuck did you expect? That we’d pat the douchenozzles on the head and tell them how awesome they are for hating and wishing harm to women?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

@ Holly – have you been following Simon’s comments in the other thread? About how zoophilia is totally morally legit? It seems to me that he has very little understanding about how consent, or sexuality in general, works. I feel like I’m discussing sex with an alien who’s new to our planet, and whose people reproduce via photosynthesis.

Joanna
9 years ago

“I meant, that maybe some people are not able to live celibate, exactly as a drug addict may not be able to abstain.”

Be that as it may, you need to go against a drug’s permission to use it =P

Joanna
9 years ago

You don’t*

Silly XP

Simon
Simon
9 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy:

Well, then they should… stop hating women?

I’m not sure what you’re arguing for. It sounds a lot like “but what if a person needs to have sex with women and need to hate women?” and I’m afraid the answer is no, women will not be down with that, our tremendous apologies.

What if they don’t hate women but can’t get any sex? What would be your advise?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

LOL! (points at comment above) Anyone else want some popcorn?

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

Simon, there’s always masturbation.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

What if they don’t hate women but can’t get any sex? What would be your advise?
This is a very complex question with no 100% guaranteed answer, but also irrelevant because the dudes in the OP do hate women.

Also, almost anyone can get sex. These guys can have physical pleasure and orgasms; no one’s denying them that. What they’re not entitled to–what no one is entitled to no matter how nice a person they are–is sex with another person.

It’s impossible to ethically control another person, and thus impossible to ethically “get sex” with 100% certainty. They could always say no for any reason or for no reason at all, and there is no secret method to prevent that.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

In all seriousness though, that question carries the undercurrent of “what do you mean women are people with desires of their own?”. Combined with the stuff about zoophilia, Simon is starting to seriously creep me out.

Bostonian
Bostonian
9 years ago

Real Dolls are a thing in the world, and they have the advantage of no one being hurt in their use.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
9 years ago

Did Simon actually go there? Really?

Simon
Simon
9 years ago

@Holly Pervocracy:

Also, almost anyone can get sex.

Sex or masturbation?

These guys can have physical pleasure and orgasms; no one’s denying them that. What they’re not entitled to–what no one is entitled to no matter how nice a person they are–is sex with another person.

It’s impossible to ethically control another person, and thus impossible to ethically “get sex” with 100% certainty. They could always say no for any reason or for no reason at all, and there is no secret method to prevent that.

And here you have it, an urge of that strength that can’t be satisfied by impersonal resources is a dark force, to deny that defies all the wisdom of the ages.

I think greed for money is a more noble feeling than sexual desire.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Sex or masturbation?

Masturbation is sex! And for most people, it’s better than having partnered sex with someone you don’t like.

And here you have it, an urge of that strength that can’t be satisfied by impersonal resources is a dark force, to deny that defies all the wisdom of the ages.

What does this even mean? Except I see that I’m going against “all the wisdom of the ages,” so I’m supposed to back down even though the wisdom of my ages says something very different.

Anyway, what I’m reading here (admittedly it’s difficult) is “men will rape if women don’t sleep with them, because it’s impossible to just not have partnered sex.” Which is bullshit, and scary bullshit, and I’m having trouble finding another interpretation.

I think greed for money is a more noble feeling than sexual desire.

…Are you Samuel?

Sexual desire is a lovely thing. Sexual desire coupled with the belief that only partnered sex makes you a Real Man, coupled with a feeling of entitlement that no mere woman has the right to take away your chance at being a Real Man–now that’s a dark dangerous thing. But only that specific combination.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
9 years ago

So Simon, are you saying that men are inherently prone to rape? Because if it is the male sexual desire that it the issue, then it would be stupid to give more than a brief mention of women in the conversation because men are responsible for their urges, not women.

darksidecat
9 years ago

Pussy is a man’s Achilles heel; once that man realizes this and takes the appropriate steps, he’ll never lose his peace of mind again. To these skeptical young men I say, there is an infinitely vast arena where you can have anything you desire, and can succeed at anything you wish to try for; all you have to do is see women for what they truly are, and become a master of the beast within; once you do that women’s true face will be visible to you, and you’ll never again partake of that foul potion.

Let’s see how many disconnected metaphors were in that brief “paragraph”. Okay, pussy is an achilles heel. Life is a vast arena. Sexual desire is a beast that needs mastering. Women have two faces. Women or pussy is a foul potion. These things are related how? Okay, one might fight a beast in an arena, but not to master it, and not to learn about potions. Achilles has nothing to do with arenas, potions, or beasts, but tangentally is related to fighting. Arenas and potions aren’t really related either. Potions don’t have faces and aren’t related to heels, though in video games they can be related to weaknesses.

Shit, maybe the fucking force thing was not a confusion of Star Wars and Star Trek, but rather another confused metaphor.

Simon
Simon
9 years ago

@Improbable Joe:

So Simon, are you saying that men are inherently prone to rape?

Yes, I would say that. It seems plausible if you ever experienced strong sexual desire.

Because if it is the male sexual desire that it the issue, then it would be stupid to give more than a brief mention of women in the conversation because men are responsible for their urges, not women.

No, we should help them as we do with drug addicts.

@Holly Pervocracy:

…Are you Samuel?

I am not Samuel, don’t ask me that over and over again. I don’t even know this Samuel!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

“And here you have it, an urge of that strength that can’t be satisfied by impersonal resources is a dark force, to deny that defies all the wisdom of the ages.”

? It’s only a dark force if you take the desire and do something bad with it. The desire itself is morally neutral.

You guys, I really don’t think there’s any point in engaging with Simon any further. His way of thinking about sexuality is pretty much messed up beyond all repair.

(Though given his apparent lack of understanding about how consent works I can see why he thinks his own sexuality is a dark force. I would certainly be a little concerned for anyone who attempted to enagage with him in a sexual way.)

Raincitygirl
9 years ago

” “So Simon, are you saying that men are inherently prone to rape?”
Yes, I would say that. It seems plausible if you ever experienced strong sexual desire.”

Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!

Also, wow, that’s seriously fucking insulting to half the human race. I know plenty of men who aren’t prone to rape.

And if your thesis were correct (which I don’t admit), the only safe solution would be to either chemically castrate all men, or severely limit all men’s exposure to women. Since they’re natural born criminals who can’t help raping and all.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
9 years ago

Sounds like Simon’s a rapist in training, and he’s already working on his legal defense. Also he’s a moron.

Dudebro, you need to see a psychologist and/or psychiatrist, at least once a week until they determine whether you can be fixed, or if you should be committed. Seriously, and no hyperbole here. There’s something profoundly broken in your brain.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

Also, it’s always very telling, and very disturbing, when men make this argument. Basically what they’re saying is that if women don’t give men enough sex then men will rape, so women should be somehow compelled to give men more sex. The fact that compelling women to have sex with men when they don’t want to is, you know, rape, doesn’t seem to occur to them.

I’ve been saying this about Simon for a while – he does not grok consent, at all. Simon, you are a creepy bastard. Go away.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
9 years ago

Also, to quote Adam Carolla on intercourse versus masturbation: “Sex is good… but it’s not the real thing.” 🙂

DYE
DYE
9 years ago

“Masturbation is sex! And for most people, it’s better than having partnered sex with someone you don’t like.”

No and No. Most GUYS would rather screw an attractive woman they don’t like than to masturbate.

Simon
Simon
9 years ago

@CassandraSays:

(Though given his apparent lack of understanding about how consent works I can see why he thinks his own sexuality is a dark force. I would certainly be a little concerned for anyone who attempted to enagage with him in a sexual way.)

When I say “Do you want to ***” and I hear a “Yes” from a person over 18, that’s consent to me.

Just because I said this thing about animals… yes they can’t consent, I accept that, but you kill them for your food… which I do not. I don’t think this *** is animal abuse, animals feel no pain for many things. If I say to a mouse horrible insults I don’t cause suffering by that.

Improbable Joe
Improbable Joe
9 years ago

Cassandra, Simon seems to also be blaming women for rape, along the lines of “well, if women don’t want to get raped, they might want to consider putting out more, and with guys they don’t find particularly appealing. Men are going to get their way, either way, so might as well close your eyes and accept the inevitable.”

Damn… I feel dirty just imagining what Simon must have simmering in his cesspool of a mind.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

DYE – Why? I’m honestly curious.

What’s the point? Is it physical? Obviously a person can touch you in ways you can’t touch yourself, but for me, being touched by someone I don’t like gives me the crawlies.

Is it emotional? Sex can make me feel closer to someone or make me feel loved and attractive, but I don’t want to be close to people I don’t like, and I don’t want them to love or be attracted to me.

Or is it the god damn “status”/”real man” thing, where what matters is your “conquest” of the woman, and the actual sex is just a glum necessity to seal the deal?

I don’t want to hug someone I don’t like, so the idea of doing the naked hug with them is profoundly unappealing, and I don’t see why men would feel differently.

Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

Also, today I learned it is okay with Simon if I insult a mouse.

FUCK YOU MOUSE. YOU LITTLE MOUSE ASSHOLE. GO STICK YOUR HEAD IN A TRAP, MOUSE.

…I feel oddly guilty.

Bostonian
Bostonian
9 years ago

Or those men could earn enough money to get a Real Doll! No one is hurt, the dude is happy, the economy is helped!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

You can backpedal all you want, Simon, but you just revealed exactly how you think about sex above, and it’s the mindset of a rapist through and through.

Also, again with the irrelevant analogies. Now if this was a discussion about cannabalism…