“Remember that pussy is a biochemical WMD; wherever it is used, there is mass chaos and destruction.”

Can’t speak for all women, but I don’t ask men out…..because I don’t want to date men. Gave ’em up in ’82 and haven’t missed them.

Again, with the generalizations.

And it’s not as if women don’t ask women out on dates, and the more formal elements i remember from decades ago don’t seem to apply among my college students (they hang out in groups and then couples seem to well occur!).

@Blackbloc: “the lurkers support them in email”!!!11!!!

The eater chose the food type, chose the restaurant, and also chose the menu item so what are the chances that the meal is not tasty?

Dude, different people have different tastes. I love a local pizza joint, they make the best soft, thin crust pizza I’ve ever had. I would wake up in the middle of the night when I lived in Denver, upset because the nearest Scrib’s pizza was halfway across the country. But not everyone love Scrib’s. The use full-fat mozarella cheese, so the pizza is greasy – that’s a deal killer for a lot of people. The crust is thin, but not crispy, a deal killer for others. So the fact that I love this particular type of pizza is not a guarantee that everyone else will love it.

BlackBloc: Agreed. We really need to attract a better class of troll. Even Meller and NWO are getting old. Surely there are wingnuts out there we haven’t mocked into flouncing!

DYE, I’ve never actually been asked out. I have had more than twenty non-platonic partners. Do the fucking math.

Feminists are far more likely to ask their partners out than non-feminists. Stop whining at us and go whine at Cosmo already.

http://www.k-state.edu/actr/2010/12/20/gender-and-personality-differences-in-date-initiation-preferences-eric-shumaker/default.htm

From past research:

Although men still tend to initiate dates more than women, date initiation by women is still fairly common. In a study of college-aged female date initiators by Mongeau, Hale, Johnson, and Hillis (1993) it was found that 90% of men had been asked out on a date by a woman and a shocking 83% of those for a first date. Most men reported accepting these dates initiated by women. The men also reported the woman’s assertiveness as a positive thing. In Mongeau & Carey’s (1996) follow-up study, they found what sort of personality characteristics men perceive in women who initiate dates. They most frequently saw woman-initiators as liberal, open, active, and extroverted. An odd finding, however, was that those men saw the initiating women as less physically attractive than their non-initiating counterparts. Additionally, men had higher sexual expectations on female-initiated dates; however it was found that these dates actually had less intimacy and sexual activity. The authors hypothesized that this unrealistic inflation of sexual expectancy was because the women-initiators were perceived as more open, liberal, and extroverted.

Granted, college student population, but a bit more info about what whiny Mr. “you are not doing your fair share” dude has shared.

This study:

Discussion

The findings of this experiment supported all three predicted hypotheses. Hypothesis one that suggested that when a man has an interest in a female with whom he would like to date, he would prefer if she used direct or indirect means of asking him which supports Muehlenhard and McFall’s (1981) previous findings. Novel to this study was hypothesis two, predicting that when a woman would like to ask a prospective male on a date, she would prefer to utilize indirect means of asking or simply wait for him to take action. Hypothesis two predicted that females would not like to be direct in their approaches, which the data supported. Perhaps from sex-role socialization, as discussed by Deborah Tannen, women have a nature to take a secondary or background role when it comes to dating and rely on men to do the approaching and other relationship related tasks. Also, we could infer from Predicted Outcome Value Theory that women may see that by subtly hinting interest to a potential male dating partner, or waiting for him to take action, results in the most possible positive gain for her.

Finally, the third hypothesis subject to examination in this study looked at the personality factor of extroversion and how this trait affected participants dating initiation preferences. It was found that extroverted participants preferred to use more direct approaches of asking for dates more often than introverts. Eysenck’s (1981) theory of extroversion suggests that extroverts are very often under-aroused and seek the stimulation that social situations bring. In addition, the quality of extroversion was described Costa and McCrae (1992) as being assertive, outgoing, and excitement seeking. Introverts were described by Buss and Plomin (1984) as those people that withdraw from and initiate less social situations. Thus, we can deduct from previous research and these findings that extroverts will want to reduce their uncertainty more and will likely be more inclined to see assertive social behavior (such as asking someone directly on a date) as potentially more positive and rewarding than introverts might.

As with any research, there are several limitations pertaining to this study that must be addressed. First, there was a small sample size consisting only of undergraduate students. It may be hard to generalize the results to other populations. Secondly, responses were based on “hypothetical scenarios”. How one might initiate a date in real-life scenarios may be different. Other major limitations of this study include the validity of the survey instruments and the statistics used for data analysis. The survey participants completed consisted of only “Yes” or “No” options for each of the three dating initiation preference options given (Direct, Indirect, or Wait). A better statistical analysis and interpretation could have been preformed if participants only selected one approach that they prefer to use and of which they would prefer a prospective partner use when asking them. The survey also could have been set up so that participants ranked each possible initiation option on a Likert scale, making the dependent variable continuous and easier to analyze statistically. Additionally, the survey could have included more or different extroversion and introversion questions to better determine exactly which personality type the participant fell into. Since a 50% median split had to be used to divide the two personality types because of low introversion personality-type numbers, the data represented more “moderately extroverted” individuals versus “moderately introverted” individuals. Finally, the survey instrument could have better defined exactly what a direct, indirect, or waiting approach meant, including more specific examples of each.

The implications of these research findings are vast. Previous research by Muehlenhard

and McFall (1981) and Muehlenhard and Miller (1988) only focused on male’s dating initiation preferences by females. This prior research was conducted in order to aid females that were struggling to get or initiate dates with men. This research expanded upon those findings and found significant effects regarding how women actually prefer to initiate dates and whether extroverts or introverts prefer direct means of dating initiation. Several groups of people in the real world can benefit from these research findings. Counselors, therapists, and dating coaches can use this data in giving their clients struggling to approach others in their lives for a date or relationship. The general population reading this can benefit from the findings as well. Readers may want to conduct an extroversion test themselves to see where their personality lies to determine how they should interact and approach those of both the same and opposite personality types. Those that are more introverted in nature or lack social skills may benefit from these research findings to help them gauge how to interact with others in their lives both romantically and socially.

Future research could also address several other aspects of this subject. Sex and personality differences have the potential to be examined in further depth. Are the differences in men and women’s preferences due to sex-role socialization or actual biological differences? Researchers could also examine the nonverbal communication aspects of a date request. Finally, future research should address howimportant dating initiation approaches actually are to individuals. Could future research showthat once two people are happily on a date, the importance of who initiated the date becomes null?

What are they teaching trolls these days! Basic Google is not hard.

“Why do women need an “excuse” for not wanting to have sex with someone? You are seriously fucked up if you think that they do.”

Why do women need an “excuse” for not wanting to do anything they want to do? Well they don’t, but they do FEEL the need to make excuses all the time.

“You’re aware that this makes you sound like a potential rapist, right? He WILL fuck the woman he’s on a date with, regardless of how she feels about it?”

LMAO. You are aware that this makes you sound like you can’t read right? So I only wrote tons of comments (amidst lots of denial from others) about how dating is screening for women and you conclude that I’m saying that how she feels is irrelevant? Ok then.

DYE, there are still some men who do consider it “too forward” for women to ask men out. They want women to act demure and play hard to get. They equate confidence with being sexually free spirited. That’s why so many women buy the book The Rules, and then treat dating like some kind of game. Once again, though, the women that read The Rules and Cosmo for dating advice aren’t usually feminists. As a feminist, I want women to feel free to ask men or women out without fear of slut shaming.

i will admit that men are more likely to be the one to ask someone out i guess, but i don’t know why these guys think that it’s still that set in stone or has anything to do with feminism. seems likes an awful awful convenient way to blame someone else for your lack of courage or initiative. Also yes women spend their lives obsessing about their looks which will never ever be good enough because it’s SO MUCH FUN! You can’t blame someone else for NOT asking you out, geez, thankfully we now live in a time where it’s not that big of a deal. It’s not like every girl is just dying to ask you out and is just dreaming of you doing it without giving you any signs or anything.

wo reasons a woman might not ask you out:

1. She’s believes that asking someone out is a purely male responsibility

2. She doesn’t want to go out with you.

Don’t get too worked up about #1 before you’ve ruled out #2, is all I’m saying.

YUP!!!!! Also i’m gonna assume with these guys they wouldn’t be satisfied with women asking them out that they didn’t want go out with.

Yeah, seriously, DYE needs to speak for himself.

Ray Percival: How you answer the question is one thing, but the subject matter is another. I did information extraction. The answers I collected were not anecdotal in structure, but any of them could have been relayed as an anecdote, had I differently worded my interrogatories.

Studies of oral histories are mining of anecdote to get broader social patterns.