Here’s the bravely anonymous alpha blogger behind “Danger & Play ~ An online magazine for alpha males” explaining “Why You Should Cheat on Your Girlfriend.” I’ve bolded my favorite bit:
Haters will tell you to, “Man up! Break up with your girlfriend if you’re not happy.” They are missing the point. You want to have your cake, and to eat it too. Steady, reliable pussy and the occasional strange is the best of all worlds.
Cheating is a lot of fun, and it’s something I highly recommend. It’s way more exhilarating than bungee jumping, and few things feel as good as banging your girlfriend on the same day you banged some strange.
Cheating keeps your game tight. The best way to regulate your girlfriend is knowing you can bang chicks as hot or hotter than your girl. Well, when you cheat, this isn’t hypothetical. It’s reality.
Somehow I’m guessing there’s a lot more “hypothetical” than “reality” going on in this guy’s posts.
You don’t want an exclusive relationship? Fine. There’s no law saying you have to be in one. You can date casually and non-exclusively. You can have an open or polyamorous relationship. There are a lot of people out there in relationships, yet happily fucking other people outside of them. They’re just above board with it.
But that’s not what’s going on with our PUA friend here. With his talk about “regulat[ing]” girlfriends, he seems more interested in fucking over his girlfriend (assuming such a creature really exists) than he is in fucking strangers (sorry, “stranges”).
That’s not “Game.” That’s just being a dick.
But, hey, Nietzsche! He’s BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL! Or, as he puts it in a comment, “Shame and guilt are beta.”
You know, if you have to go around telling everyone what an Nietzschean ubermensch you are, you’re probably aren’t much of a Nietzschean ubermensch.
This is the point where I become just a little bit sorry for Brandon and guys like him… the world must really look like a scary place to someone who has no idea whom he can trust, and no basis for deciding who is trustworthy and who isn’t.
Being annoying is not much of an accomplishment. I mean common houseflies manage it as well.
@mediumdave: Ya, I don’t really see the world as “scary”. There are risks and benefits to everything. The idea is to maximize the benefits while minimize the risks. I have never had my house robbed, but I still lock my door and lock my windows before I go out. So people take precautions even with things that rarely happen.
Locking your house is a sensible precaution… spending thousands of dollars to reinforce your roof in case it’s hit by a meteorite, not so much.
@Ami Angelwings:
Abandon them to their fate.
Locking your house is a sensible precaution.
Letting people into your house, but then secretly recording them because you don’t actually trust them… not so much.
Simon, could you specify what the “fate” of drunk people is?
Because it seems you’re implying their fate is to get raped, which makes rapists just agents of fate rather than human beings making decisions, which is a ludicrous way to describe any crime committed by one person against another.
If someone decides not to rape a drunk person, is that also “fate,” or is it not as much fun for you because then you don’t get to be smug about women getting what they deserve?
@CassandraSays:
I don’t know what you mean.
Also it probably depends on the community.
“If someone decides not to rape a drunk person, is that also “fate,” or is it not as much fun for you because then you don’t get to be smug about women getting what they deserve?”
But Holly, rape is like a tsunami! (It just only happens to bad girls!)
Tsunami happens only to bad girl?
Holly shit!
But houses do in fact get broken into all the time. Anecdata:
Lots of people leave things in their cars when they run errands, visit a friend, park and go home, etc. I’m not talking about gold bricks or sacks full of money; small things like umbrellas, a pair of sunglasses, a window scraper. But I lived, for a while in Baltimore, and the city’s addiction problem was so significant that it was common knowledge that -outside of a handful of very wealthy neighborhoods- you left your locked car empty. Even in the nice areas, trendy areas, gentrified areas, shopping districts, neighborhoods that were near universities – it didn’t matter. Drug addicts routinely broke into cars and snatched things of very little value for potential resale.
I’m not from Baltimore, it’s a city with fairly poor public transportation, and my car was broken into twice within my first 6 months of living there. After I learned the rules, it never happened again. Here’s the thing though: I didn’t have any friends who were transplants who hadn’t had the exact same thing happen to them. Everyone had had their car broken into at some point. Everyone I knew, met, and worked with, everyone. Taking the precaution made complete sense because, even at the level of pure anecdote, it had happened to so many people.
It remains one of the questions your Samurai sword and reflexes missed yesterday, Brandon but it bears repeating. Do you know anyone who has been falsely accused of raped and charged/arrested/convicted?
Again, I feel like David Lisak’s work is extremely telling here. The “fate” Simon’s talking about in cases of alcohol facilitated rape is actually a methodically planned, predetermined outcome. So, less like “fate” and more like a calculated injury planned by a predator.
“The reason that this is such a common part of the scenario—the non-stranger assault—is that we know, and I’ve interviewed these rapists for 20 years and they have told me explicitly, they are predators. They go after victims in those kinds of circumstances, and they look for potential victims who are already somwhat vulnerable. They’re going to get her so intoxicated that she might have blackouts, she may be unconscious, she is much more susceptible to all the manipulations you would use. So for example, you get her completely intoxicated and then you say, “You know what? You really shouldn’t drive. I’ll drive you home.” And then, presto! The rapist has her in his car, and the assault can happen whether in his car, his apartment, or wherever, but she’s under his control. And that scenario has been described to me so many different times by these non-stranger rapists.
“Predators look for vulnerable people, and they prey on vulnerable people, and if as a criminal justice system, we’re going to essentially turn away from any victim who is drinking or any victim who is in some way vulnerable, we’re essentially giving a free pass to sexual predators.”
Simon would let the predator off the hook in favor of blaming the victim for having the temerity to drink alcohol in front of other people.
That’s you, from yesterday. Where do those numbers originate and what are they measuring? Do you believe them? Really? You claim to have never videotaped a sexual encounter without your partner(s)’ consent and yet you argue, adamantly, that trust and love are completely beside the point. Except you trust your girlfriend. Except kind of you don’t. You loop and backtrack so much it’s difficult to follow the thread of your “argument” some time.
But I don’t think you’re really making an argument. I don’t think you really care about how often false accusations of rape are made, or if/when they lead to charges/arrests/convictions. You don’t really think you’re at risk. You’ve never acknowledged the difference between a malicious, personal false accusation (when you reference these “statistics”) and men who are charged erroneously as the result of misidentification, poor police work, etc. Because you really don’t care.
You’ve just kind of stumbled upon a hypothetical and you’re arguing for the sake of arguing. You don’t really have a moral core and you think it’s kind of funny to stand in contradiction to a group of people who take things like bodily autonomy and informed consent very seriously. And you also lack the courage of your convictions and a real belief in your “women can take me or get the fuck out” posturing.
Otherwise, you’d agree that it makes just as much sense to inform a potential partner of your desire to have evidence of her consent via video recordings of consent and post-sexy-fun-times reiteration of that fact, as it does to secretly, illegally, and in direct violation of her rights and her person record her in the act. And it’s a fuck load more honest.
You know that you don’t really have the juice to pull a maneuver like that. You’d be too worried about jeopardizing the encounter. I don’t know if you’ve ever really secretly and illegally recorded a sexual partner but you have the right mentality.
You don’t care about informed consent.
“You know that you don’t really have the juice to pull a maneuver like that. You’d be too worried about jeopardizing the encounter. I don’t know if you’ve ever really secretly and illegally recorded a sexual partner but you have the right mentality.”
I liked Jumbofish’s theory, where Brandon only realized “What, you mean every man who has casual sex doesn’t do this?” when I was like, “WTF?” That would account for all the times he used the present tense, and then said he didn’t actually do this stuff later. 😛
You just don’t understand how Brandon statistics work!
1 in 4 women will be raped in their lifetime, that’s 25%
False Rape Accusations are 2 – 60% of all rape cases.
60% of 25% = 15%
25% + 15% = 40%
Thus 40% of all men are accused of raping.
Brandon has barely dodged the FRA bullet with Ashley!
If he has sex with any more women the odds almost guarantee he’ll be falsely accused of rape!
Simon, you make it out to be impossible for someone to not rape a drunk woman. Are you yourself incapable of not raping someone who is easy to rape?
Let us apply the “Darth Vader” test to Simon’s moral code.
Namely, does his principle “abandon them to their fate” sound more credible in Darth Vader’s voice or your own? That is, is it something you would say? Or something Darth Vader would say?
Unless you are Skeletor, Hannibal Lecter, orpost-Luke-Skywalker Mark Hamill (i.e. the Joker or Fire Lord Ozai), Darth Vader’s voice works better. That is because it is a fucking evil sentiment, with little to no redeeming value.
Seriously. The Darth Vader test doesn’t work on everything. In fact, it almost never works. It takes a lot of work to be that fucking evil. Well done, Simon. The villains of the world applaud you, each single clap of their hands resounding with the death of thousands.
I’m trying to think of a villain villainous enough to cast a mournful look back as he reluctantly walks away from a totally rapeable woman without raping her. Maybe someone from A Song of Ice and Fire? Someone from a Terry Goodkind book? The mind boggles. Even Darth Vader’s like “No. I. AM… creeped out.”
@Bee:
So did he force feed her with alcohol or what? How can that be a calculated injury?
@Holly Pervocracy:
When the Kryptonite lock was tested, a bicycle was locked on a signpost in Greenwich Village in New York City and left there for 30 days. Though it might have been theoretically possible that nobody made any attempt to break the lock this was of course not the case. The designers knew that would happen, they left it there because they wanted to test the lock.
So, under some circumstances, yes, I can’t help but think of the criminals as some sort of agents of fate, because even if the first decides not to do it, the next one will.
As if I were happy that drunk women get raped.
@Johanna:
No I am not. But the people of Greenwich Village as a whole really ARE incapable of not trying to break bicycle locks. And I’m sure that there are areas where this is true of rape.
@Nobinayamu: Not really. While this is a hypothetical argument now, I wouldn’t be opposed to recording (either video or audio), the event. If Ashley and I broke up and I started dating multiple women again, I think it would be prudent of me to get the consent on tape. Personally, I would go with just an audio recording.
I am not sure what the actual number of FRA’s that happen every year. However, I am sympathetic towards people that are being falsely accused and I think the person doing the false accusing should be sent to jail if the court finds they were blatantly lying. No one should just be able to make that kind of accusation, lie to the courts and walk away without punishment when found they are full of shit,
And yet police would arrest the individual criminal who did it, not say “well shit, son, someone was going to, can’t really blame ya.” Personal responsibility doesn’t work like that.
Also I don’t think most bars and parties are so crowded with rapists that it’s a matter of “hell, someone’s gonna do it.”
Even in the bicycle example–imagine a bicycle that’s locked up next to a farmhouse in Iowa instead of in Greenwich Village. It’s a whole lot less likely to get stolen, right? Even though the bike’s “behavior” is the same, its environment is different, and so the bike is safer. It’s almost like an area with less theft has magically changed its “fate.”
There is a difference between taping someone consenting to sex and taping someone during a sex act without their knowledge or consent of the taping. This really isn’t rocket science.
It seems I am very good at annoying feminists.
That’s a pretty good summary, ya, but you realize being proud of being annoying kind of reinforces the spoiled child vibe you give off, right?
@LauraLot: Yes, I know the difference.
Yeah, Brandon, I was asking for you to confirm my suppositions. It’s abundantly clear that you don’t give a shit about informed consent.
Brandon, why would you need to secretly record the entire “event” when -for your purposes of ass covering- you could just tell the woman in question that you’d like to record her affirming her consent pre and post nookie? There would be evidence of time-stamping as well as her agreement to be recorded, with the option of her enjoying the idea and actually agreeing to record all the sex.
Why would you “hypothetically” need to violate her when you could have the same level of protection just by being upfront and honest? I mean, in all of your other posts about sex and dating you’re such a strong advocate for being upfront and honest about your needs.