Here’s the bravely anonymous alpha blogger behind “Danger & Play ~ An online magazine for alpha males” explaining “Why You Should Cheat on Your Girlfriend.” I’ve bolded my favorite bit:
Haters will tell you to, “Man up! Break up with your girlfriend if you’re not happy.” They are missing the point. You want to have your cake, and to eat it too. Steady, reliable pussy and the occasional strange is the best of all worlds.
Cheating is a lot of fun, and it’s something I highly recommend. It’s way more exhilarating than bungee jumping, and few things feel as good as banging your girlfriend on the same day you banged some strange.
Cheating keeps your game tight. The best way to regulate your girlfriend is knowing you can bang chicks as hot or hotter than your girl. Well, when you cheat, this isn’t hypothetical. It’s reality.
Somehow I’m guessing there’s a lot more “hypothetical” than “reality” going on in this guy’s posts.
You don’t want an exclusive relationship? Fine. There’s no law saying you have to be in one. You can date casually and non-exclusively. You can have an open or polyamorous relationship. There are a lot of people out there in relationships, yet happily fucking other people outside of them. They’re just above board with it.
But that’s not what’s going on with our PUA friend here. With his talk about “regulat[ing]” girlfriends, he seems more interested in fucking over his girlfriend (assuming such a creature really exists) than he is in fucking strangers (sorry, “stranges”).
That’s not “Game.” That’s just being a dick.
But, hey, Nietzsche! He’s BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL! Or, as he puts it in a comment, “Shame and guilt are beta.”
You know, if you have to go around telling everyone what an Nietzschean ubermensch you are, you’re probably aren’t much of a Nietzschean ubermensch.
This seems to be set in an alternate universe where your girlfriend won’t just leave instead of being “regulated.”
I suppose that’s where the “no one else would ever love you” emotional abuse comes in. 🙁
No, you see, Holly, women are uncontrollably attracted to men who fuck women who aren’t them, so they can’t leave, because where else would they find a man who fucks a woman who isn’t them! It’s SCIENCE!
…This theory suggests that women are naturally polyamorous.
“Polyamorous” here suggests that the women, too, are having other partners than just this guy. I somehow suspect that would not fly with this dude. [insert some “theory” and evo psych here as to how men are programmed to sow their wild oats, etc, blah blah barf]
I suppose there are girls that “let” their boyfriend cheat on them…but they have as much social intelligence as the MRA guys so go figure…
It grosses me out that he refers to his other sexual partners as “strange”. Yuck. I’d also like to read his opinions on cuckolding. There’s the cheating double standard right there. He wants his girlfriend to be monogamous, but he wants to run around.
Check out this quote from Ardia about the cheating double standard at the blog Co Alpha Brotherhood.
I respect men and women who have the guts to be honest with the partners about whether or not they can be monogamous, and apply the same standards to both people in the relationship.
He’d also be the first to whine about the bitches if his fictional girlfriend fucked around on him. But you’re right, most of these skidmarks are all talk, no action.
I’m starting (okay, continuing) to think that these guys get something very different out of sex than most people do.
It’s not physical. Actual sexual technique rarely comes up in the PUAverse, partly because they’re not actually getting laid, partly because sex where you don’t actually know any of your partners is never going to get very sophisticated, but mostly because it doesn’t matter to them.
It’s not emotional, in the conventional sense of “having sex makes me feel intimate with my partner and happy because we made each other feel good.”
Instead it seems to be based entirely on achievement. Sex is all about who you can get, and how many. The actual act is just planting the flag.
They’re very excited about getting sex, but completely joyless when it comes to having sex. I almost feel bad for them.
I feel worse for the women who came expecting physical and/or emotional enjoyment and instead got a flag planted on them.
This theory that men can’t be monogamous can be thwarted by science!
http://jezebel.com/5849842/six-myths-about-sex-and-gender-busted
I guess if the shoe was on the other foot and it was his girlfriend cheating on him it would be a different story wouldn’t it?
Something I’ve long suspected about allot of PUA game types, its hatred of women/themselves that drives them not love of sex.
Does anyone have an estimate about how many of these PUA guys are running around? because this is one of the reasons why I avoid the dating scene. Although their game tactics are pretty easy to figure out, just the thought of running into one of these manipulative d-bags just turns me off to it completely. It makes more sense to do something more productive…
PUA is a vicious cycle. I’ve read some of their blogs and a lot of them are angry at women and don’t like them. They use the tactics for revenge, which in turn will probably turn a lot of women who fell for it bitter and will reinforce the “men are dogs” stereotype.
Exactly how is this NOT creating an even bigger battle of the sexes?
Quackers: I wish a PUA would pick me up. I am sickly curious about whether I’d fall for it. (Actually, at this point, I’d probably go along with it. “Oh, how cute, you’re negging? Look, it’s a qualifier and now it’s time for… a DHV, how awesome! Awww, the Cube, I haven’t seen someone do that since the Game.”)
Holly: Not to mention that if “obtaining sex” is your big source of validation… that’s kind of sad. 🙁
@Holly you’re not far off the mark with that thinking in fact here’s super blogger Clarissa with a take on the situation that is similar to yours
http://clarissasblog.com/2011/10/14/are-puas-really-looking-for-sex/
I imagine there are sets of socks lined on his bed (or some other kind of toy) which he names with different women names and he “cheats” to them. Because no way in hell any real people are falling for this crap or putting up with this treatment. He sounds like the biggest loser ever. I presume that there could be some sorry human being who really does that but it sounds like he has some serious issues. Also, he dounds like the crappiest lover ever so… maybe that’s the reason behind it? Not so much of “keep her on her toes” but “I can’t be in steady relationship’.
I know there are people who prefer to change partnes or stick to random sex… but as someone else already mentioned sex has nothing to do with this and just some shmuck insecurities.
Ugh, imagine the uproar if we switch the genders here though.
But yeah… cheating is awesome until its been him on the cheated side. Then beware of the MRA moaning and complaining for feminism ruining women.
Boring even for you guys.
They are not even trying…
P.S. Did anyone else think “oh, what the hell have particles to do with this… oh, he is just trying to be cute here” or it was just me?
ozymandias42: I remember a guy in a van pulled up beside me while I was walking into town and he said “Excuse me, can you give me directions to your heart.”
I face palmed so hard I gave myself a headache.
Eneya: I am certain there are a lot of PUA types who are out there making it work. I also think they aren’t likely to be writing blogs about how good their game is. If what they are after is sex, as opposed to status in a homosocial group, they don’t need to talk about it.
So I suspect the PUA blogs, and the various boasts are ways of obtaining some sort of currency of credibility. Since actual sex can’t really be proven they do it by showing how disposable women are to them.
Exactly. He can cheat, but women who do so are terrible misandrist whores.
I don’t think the PUA bloggers are able to have good sex. As Holly said, they don’t seem to like women. I don’t think one needs to have a deep, much less abiding relationship with someone to have some good sweaty fun with them.
But one does have to see them as a person, not just a piece of tail (oh, sorry, “strange”). At that point one’s partner isn’t really a partner, but a fleshlight with a pulse. If they aren’t people how can you relate to making them feel good?
At that point it’s safer to stick to toys.
It’s high time these Pua dweebs up something that doesn’t exist (Game) and make more women actually like them
Why is it that every douchebag who justify themselves using Nietzsche somehow don’t understand that explicitly choosing to embrace what society considers evil is NOT being “beyond good and evil”, it’s being *evil*. On purpose. It is not rejecting society’s value system, but embracing it while choosing to take the opposition’s camp.
Someone who is actually “beyond good and evil” would choose to make decisions based on their own, objectively arrived at value system. It certainly would not involve basing all of your self-esteem on what a bunch of other males think is your level of ‘Game’.
Cheating is fucking dumb. It is embracing the paradigm of monogamy for your partner but not for thee. Have some intellectual consistency man. If you can fuck some ‘stranges’, well so should your ‘chick’ (*gawd* what stupid language these people have) be allowed to.
BlackBloc: Why is it that every douchebag who justify themselves using Nietzsche somehow don’t understand that explicitly choosing to embrace what society considers evil is NOT being “beyond good and evil”, it’s being *evil*. On purpose. It is not rejecting society’s value system, but embracing it while choosing to take the opposition’s camp.
ummm…. OOH!, I got it.
Because they haven’t actually read Nietzsche.
Or if they have, they didn’t understand it, and didn’t read the Cliff’s Notes.
I admit I used to be into the PUA scene a while ago, when the Mystery Method was the hottest new thing and there were whole communities of people talking about this stuff. The techniques are mostly BS, Mystery was a magician and he basically incorporated magic tricks and working the crowd into a pickup approach. They’re not much help if you aren’t into the bar/club scene and willing to do canned routines. The only thing that’s worth retaining is the advice about being confident in your own abilities and building an interesting life.
The guy in the OP has nothing to do with PUA technique, he’s just a jerk. I knew someone just like that a couple of years ago, he cheated on his gf yet was insanely jealous of her seeing anyone else, his reasoning was that he was allowed to do that because he was “the man”. They broke up that same year.
Ozymandias: I doubt I’d fall for it, because I’ve studied their techniques so I keep an eye out for them when I do actually date. I’d probably do the same as you and go along with it, or just walk away. Maybe I’m too idealistic, but I think the best way to approach dating is to just be yourself. If you have to have your game on all the time, its just sad and I imagine tiresome if being a jerk is not who you really are. I’ve even heard of game for married men…I mean really??
Blac Bloc: yea what IS the deal with these guys and Nietzsche? I mean, you can have different morals from other people but that doesn’t mean you have to purposely be an ass to them. Did he actually say this? (in fancier words, I suspect ass wasn’t used lol) or is it just the way these guys interpret him?
Two things
One it’s a blog not a magazine.
Two If you have to tell people on a blog that you are a alpha male no one except for yourself (only externally) thinks you are.
OK, if they are using a personaly created set of norms… what kind of pathetic asses they are that they also use the patriatchic system and values about men having many women but all of these women sleeping only with them?
It sounds to me like they have simply taken bits and pieces of the think they like i.e. beyond good and evil but not actually created or even thought for anything really.
Wow… men bragging about how many women they have slept with and how eaily they can change women… how’s that novel or original or telling us that they are more complicated than a shrimp?
To paraphrase the Tales of Hodja Nassreddin: Thumbs up for the author of the article for having come up with a perfect recipe for personal happiness and success! Now we can safely say half the job is done. All that remains is to persuade some woman to be his girlfriend and a bunch of other women to be his accomplices in cheating on her. Piece of cake!