Ugh. No jokes this time, just an appalling little exchange on Reddit’s Men’s Rights subreddit. First, a Redditor called xbyiu offers some unsolicited, and pretty pig-ignorant, thoughts about SlutWalks. The basic thesis:
Personally, I think a lot of feminists just don’t care about rape victims. They’d much rather see women as a whole being a victim of the patriarchy and fight against that sort of abstract idea then deal with the reality of rape, which can be fought against with simple tips on how to protect yourself.
Hold on; it gets worse.
To this the r/mr regular EvilPundit replied (in a comment that, last I checked, had gotten three times more upvotes than downvotes):
I’d go even further, and say that many feminists love rape. For them, it’s a perfect way to demonise men in general.
If rape didn’t exist, feminism would invent it. In fact, feminism does invent a lot of rape, with its imaginary statistics such as “1 in 4”, and so on.
In other words, feminists don’t really want to prevent rape. But most rape is imaginary. So feminists are trying to not prevent something that doesn’t much happen anyway. Brilliant.
A note on the “1 in 4” thing: EvilPundit’s insinuation that it’s an “imaginary statistic” is a common MRA talking point. It’s not imaginary, but it’s not quite accurate either. The one-in-four number comes from a study conducted in the 80s by researcher Mary Koss: based on a detailed survey of college women, she found that roughly one in four of her respondent had been a victim of rape or attempted rape since the age of 14. This is often simplified – and distorted – into “one in four female college students are raped while in college.”
In fact, Koss’ survey found that one in eight college women answering her survey, not one in four, had been the victim of completed rape. Other studies have reported numbers not far off from this. The National Violence Against Women Survey, for example, found that roughly one in six of female respondents reported being the victim of rape in their lifetime.
The fact that some people have misrepresented Koss’ study doesn’t mean that her findings are “imaginary.”
I’m not even sure why I’m writing all this, given that as a feminist I presumably don’t care at all about rape.
Pic above taken from here.
EDITED TO ADD: EvilPundit’s comment has gotten some downvotes since I posted this, but it still has more upvotes than downvotes.
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Actually most of them had their depression improve markedly during their involvement with me. And I am a bit of an ass, but no more than the vast majority of women with whom I deal. I just think you need a better class of PUA around here. Obviously, encouraging dependency on the part of potential partners is unhealthy. But whenever I’m not running the show, I’m scenery, just not exciting enough.
And really, living with a depressed partner who is not responding to medication and doesn’t have the insurance wiggle room to try too many alternatives before the limits are reached is terrifying. It’s a form of terror that arose in most of my relationships. I’m a near-Bolshevik for a reason. And I do enjoy the warning-label snark.
“And I am a bit of an ass, but no more than the vast majority of women with whom I deal.”
And again, herein lies your problem. Why do you choose to hang out with women who are assholes, Eurosabra?
People who enjoy vampire play don’t play with real vampires, or play for real. As Eurosabra said, “if you’re a “vampire” and believe you actually have to drain your partners dead, Your Kink is Not OK. If you’re an actual supernatural vampire, I hope never to meet you.”
My whole point was that fantasy is NOT THE SAME as reality, so don’t go thinking that allowing women to have fantasies (about Brad Pitt and/or Edward Norton and/or vampires) means that these are their actual requirements for a partner.
Some men may not understand this, because they think being their fantasy partner is a realistic goal for women to attain and either reject or mock anyone who does not fit this fantasy mold.
Because the hot ones are interestingly demanding of power and status in men, almost invariably. I mean, I’ve noticed an actual glass ceiling effect where interest and friendliness act as a repellent to women, because your clothes and non-verbals aren’t pre-signaling enough status and dominance to get her interested in anything you might say. Women who are actually interested in meeting someone new have a distinctive vibe, even at events which are ostensibly about meeting new people. But then again I can actually circulate socially, if inconclusively.
Again, Eurosabra, your complaints are a function of the women you’re choosing to pursue. Unless someone is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to choose women who’re status obsessed, it’s your decision to do so that results in any angst you might feel about the whole process, so I’m not sure why you expect anyone else to sympathize. It’s a big world out there – if pursuing the people you’re currently pursuing is making you unhappy, then stop.
Also, the comment about clothes is odd. Stylistic choices definitely factor into which men I’m most interested, but it has nothing to do with power or status and everything to do with physical attraction and subcultural affiliations. So if a woman doesn’t want to talk to you because she hates your outfit, well, maybe she’s just really into fashion and you have no style, or maybe she’s looking for labels, in which case once again we’re back to the fact that you’re making some rather questionable dating decisions.
Or every woman I meet in every context here is like that, because The Cake Is A Lie.
I think Eurosabra sounds more like an artificial sweetener for your low-cal soda. Eurosabra: He’s not for women.
So someone is holding a gun to your head and preventing you from moving? Have the evil women who like alphas stolen your passport?
Not that I believe that every single woman you’re meeting (you’re where exactly? LA perhaps?) is like that anyway. What I’m getting from all your comments is the tale of an insecure man who likes to externalize his anxieties and try to hold other people responsible for them, with a side order of sexist stereotypes and a yearning to be the sort of man who you think women want. It’s kind of pathetic, honestly.
Eurosabra is forgetting the fantastic rule of “the only thing in common between all your failed relationships is you”… Maybe women aren’t terrible, you are? 🙂
I prefer to think of it as a sign that they’re broken, but perhaps (due to things I’m not about to reveal here) I’m a bit more flexible and better-adjusted (at least behaviorally, my state of mind is my issue) than appears here in text.
Oh, wait, Eurosabra’s in Los Angeles, where the 2% of women who dig him gives him a mere 177,850 to choose from.