Well, here’s a new twist on the whole “women love assholes” thing. According to the blogger known as Vox Day – a sort of right-wing/PUA hybrid – the best way for a fella to capture the attention of a comely lass is to rape and murder another comely lass. Yep. He seems to have confused “Game” — that is, pick-up artist trickery — with The Most Dangerous Game. Oh, Vox stops short of recommending that his readers actually go out and murder women, but he argues this women-love-killers argument in all seriousness:
I don’t believe I could recommend this as a strategy for most men, but it is surely educational to learn that raping and killing a woman is demonstrably more attractive to women than behaving like a gentleman. And women, before all the inevitable snowflaking commences, please note that there is absolutely nothing to argue about here. It is an established empirical fact.
His empirical “proof” of this assertion? The fact that some Japanese women have set up online fan clubs for Tatsuya Ichihashi, an accused murderer.
From this one data point, Vox seems to have made a somewhat hasty generalization based on the notion that all women are the same person – that is, if one woman thinks or does something, all women think or do that same thing.
Yes, there are women — and men — who find themselves attracted to vile human beings. Some women idolize murderers. Some men think Ann Coulter is hot. That doesn’t mean that all women idolize murderers or that all men want to get it on with Ms. Coulter. It just means that some people have really, really, really appalling taste.
But let’s just assume for a moment that Vox’s basic premise is true: all women love violent psycopaths,. If you’ want to get with the ladies, but aren’t so hard up for a date that you’re actually willing to resort to homicide, is there some other way you convey what a violent psychopath you are to the ladies of the world? Yep, says Vox:
[I]f you are being introduced to a woman you find attractive, she will be more attracted to you if you slap her in the face without warning and walk away without explanation than if you smile and tell her that you are very pleased to meet her. Now this, being a mere hypothesis, can be argued. And tested, if you’re feeling especially scientific this weekend.
I really hope none of his readers take him up on this.
Is Vox being altogether serious about this? Yes and no. About the idea that women love killers? Absolutely serious. About actually assaulting women? He’s a bit more cagey. On his blog Alpha Game, Vox elaborates:
Women find it sexier for you to rape and kill a woman than putting them on pedestals and being a nice guy. I’m not saying that you should rape and kill anyone, but I would recommend, at the very least, dropping the nice guy routine and pushing over the pedestals.
Women have plenty of positive attributes. But they’re not angels, and when it comes to what sexually attracts them, even the nice, well-bred ones are more insanely twisted, from the male perspective, than the average serial killer.
So apparently the only truly happy couples in the world are those in which both partners think like serial killers.
What a romantic!
Rutee, you’re not smart.
Well, I’m sure you’re an ignorant, socially stunted blowhard IRL, so let’s just call it even, OK?
I’m sorry, am I just supposed to take insults and fact bending and victim blaming without a word because it comes from the mouths of men? I refuse to be shamed because of having an opinion or of talking about it.
Oh Hengist, I totally believe your representation of this person as both existing and working exactly like you say you do. Because you’ve done such a fantastic job of representing others before too.
And you know, this ‘you’re too bitchy/sarcastic/mean/not deferential enough to the almighty penis to have a man’ meme is getting really fucking tired. I know this is hard for some MRAs to understand, but lots of feminists are in relationships. Many are married. Happily, even! Just because we don’t conform to your idea of a perfect partner doesn’t mean that every man everywhere all the rime has the same idea of a perfect partner.
Fine, you’re the exception to the rule. Happy? Doesn’t change the fact that 99% of the time, a feminist’s response to a guy looking for dating advice is to attack him and make fun of him. It’s what they do best; they don’t know anything else.
That would’ve been true if they had responded to me after I said that instead of me reacting to their responses, which is what actually happened. As for the man-blaming, it’s very much there. You only have to look how many times guys are blamed for not being in relationships and told it’s probably because they aren’t good enough, there’s something wrong with them etc.
Funny how women who can’t get a date are told to wait for someone who’ll appreciate how special they are, while guys in the same situation are told “it’s because you are an asshole”, eh?
You’re the middle-aged lesbian women’s studies teacher who avoids men, right? Yeah, I totally care about your opinion. It is precious to me.
And yet we’re supposed to care about your opinion of us? After that? Jesus, you really are convinced the sun rises in your pants, aren’t you?
Actually I was talking about basic decency, but it’s telling that the only choices you see are “bitchy/sarcastic/mean” and “deferential”.
“And yet we’re supposed to care about your opinion of us?”
Of course not, but you obviously do :p
You come to a site that mocks MRAs and you think we should all be nice? There are corners of the internet where niceness is enforced – go find one of those and take your poor widdle hurt fee-fees with you.
Hengist, why do you keep trying to insult me by telling me I’d be a bad mother when I’ve already made it fairly clear that I have no particular interest in being a mother? Are you under the impression that it’s the deepest desire of all women to be described as motherly by men?
(This assumption is particularly funny in a thread that’s about dating. When I go out with a guy I’m supposed to want his first strong impression of me to be “motherly””? How very Freudian of you.)
Then say ‘basic human decency,’ for fuck’s sake. You have come into a feminist space, trashed women, engaged in victim blaming and insulted us – would you expect a feminist to be handled with kid gloves in an MRA forum? No? Then what the fuck do you expect here, tea and biscuits?
“All I said was that feminists love to mock PUAs yet offer no useful dating advice themselves.”
You still seem to think that this is some sort of contradiction, but it really isn’t. The PUA movement exists in order to provide people with dating advice (well, more honestly it exists to provide people with advice on how to get casual sex, but still). We mock them because their advice doesn’t work very well (and is occasionally kind of psychotic in the case of dudes like Gunwitch, or full of amusing hyperbole like Roissy). Feminism, on the other hand, is not a movement that exists in order to provide dating advice. That’s not it’s primary purpose. I can see that you think that providing dating advice should be part of feminism’s purpose, but that’s just because you’re hilariously self-centered. When you meditate do you chant “me” instead of “om”?
Not even close* but keeping trying. Your little insults are cute. Not tired memes at all, sir!
*Not there’s anything wrong with being a middle-aged lesbian social studies teacher who avoids men, especially if said men are all like Hengist.
I can’t give Developers any advice either because like Pecunium, I’ve never dated people who care about the rules as in a The Rules, we’re heading for marriage from the first date kind of way. It’s unlikely that anyone on this blog can tell you the rules specific to the kind of relationships you’re looking for, since we tend to lean leftist and not very religious. If we have anyone here who grew up in a very religious community, they might be able to help, but I sure can’t. The suggestion to hang out on forums devoted to people who share your desire for very traditional relationships is a good one, though.
I must not have been given the memo instructing all men to not want feminists.
Begin by getting a hobby. Seriously-get a hobby where there is a good mix of people male and female. If you have a common interest, you have a conversation starter. You also have a way of handling things that do not put immediate “DATE NOW” pressure on getting to know someone. When you do make that first move to ask someone out, ask for something low key-“hey, want to grab a cup of some liquid beverage?” If she says no, take a deep breath and remind yourself that Rome was not built in a day. Then change the subject to a mutual enjoyable topic.
Also listen to what she says when she answers you-“Oh gosh, I would love to but…” is often a polite way of saying no. Do not push but it is okay to say “hey, call me if you get the time.”
Depends on where you are. If you are a swinger’s club and are asking women to marry you-yes, you ARE in the wrong place to be asking that. If you are at a church, you could be more likely to be meeting marriage minded women so asking for casual sex probably will be a no no. If you are not a theist, then generally it is not acceptable to be asking for either sex or marriage at most places. Also, marriage is generally not something decided on a first date (Dharma and Greg was a TV Show.)
My best friend is a virgin. He is in his thirties and is waiting until he gets married. He still chases women (chase being the proper term for it after last week.) And he gets shot down all the time yet still tries. He also does not state he wants marriage on the first date. That puts way too much pressure on the woman. Same with if you went on a date with a woman and she pulled out her wedding planner. It may be obvious that you would like that as an end result but it is not fair to either of you to do this without thinking it clearly through.
By developing a sense of patience and here is something else important-learn about body language.
If you have ever heard of the term “actions speak louder then words” you know that people can convey things without having even to say a word. If you are wondering if someone likes you enough to take the bold step of asking them out, pay attention to their body language. If they ask what you are doing, do not be blunt and say “watching to see if you like me.” Say “I am studying body language to be more effective in my communication, sorry about being so obvious about it.”
They may still think you are weird but it is not a bad weird. And it gives you ANOTHER REASON TO TALK TO THEM.
@ hellkell – I’m kind of curious to see how many different feminist stereotypes Hengist will trot out in this one conversation. So far we have Miss Jean Brodie and an ivory tower Women’s Studies professor, right? Did we have a lonely cat lady too? Now me, I’m an entertainment reporter, with a heavy focus on music. My job was once described by a friend as “get paid to hang out with rock stars” (which is actually too narrow a definition – I get paid to hang out with and interview designers, writers, comic book artists, and sometimes actors too). My community pretty much consists of artsy people, most of whom are, um, how can I put this? Not exactly the socially conservative types. (Which is why I can’t help our friend Developers – sorry, dude, I don’t know anyone who’s looking for the things you are, so I have no experience that’s relevant to offer.) I think professional academics are pretty awesome, but I am not one, and don’t really spend much time with anyone meeting that description.
I get the feeling that Hengist honestly believes that the only women who think he’s kind of an idiot are the ones who fit the classic Fox TV idea of what a feminist is. He’s rather comically wrong about that – in fact I’m sure that there are women from just about every possible walk of life who think Hengist is ridiculous. Men too.
@Cassandrasays: We haven’t had the cat lady, but I’m sure it’s on the way. And hey! I work in the music business myself, in an area with creatives.
I’m sure Hengist has all sorts of “ideas” about feminists, none of which are necessarily true to life. That’s why I don’t think guys like him or DKM are jealous, I really think (especially in DKM’s case) they’re massively pissed that people who don’t line up with their insanely narrow, myopic, and generally hateful worldviews can lead happy and productive lives. To them, anyone deviating from the norm doesn’t deserve happiness. Women who don’t kowtow to their sense of entitlement are easy targets.
I think it’s a sad way to live.
How many cats do you need to qualify as a cat lady? Does being married exclude me?
I don’t know–we have four, but like you, I’m married.
I think in DKM’s case at least, you can add scared shitless to the evaluation. Man’s obviously terrified of, well, I’m just gonna say women in general.
Does one cat make me a cat lady? I mean, I had one before, but it’s been one at a time. If I later add a dog if I move to a place with a big yard does that make me no longer a cat lady? I think we need a flowchart.
hellkell: We only have two. Despite the fact that there seems to be a Kami clone factory in the neighborhood – I swear, there’s a purebred Egyptian Mau somewhere near here, breeding like the proverbial bunny. Every time I go outside, there’s a near twin of our younger cat on the porch, determined to give me a heart attack and go inside our house while I’m distracted.