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Quotations from Chairman Alcuin

Dude, you should totally read this shit!

Like Chairman Mao, the MRA blogger Alcuin is a massive douchebag with intellectual pretensions far outstripping his limited brainpower. Also like Mao, Alcuin is perhaps best appreciated in tiny doses. Most of his posts are rambling, pretentious messes; yet many of them contain wonderful little nuggets of anti-wisdom that I feel compelled to share with you all.

Mao had his Little Red Book. Here’s part one of Alcuin’s Little Red-Faced Book. Click on the titles for the full posts.

On the Nature of the Female:

[A] woman only thinks of her next meal, and which man can provide the best one for her. …  Allow them to run organizations and society, and they will destroy everything. … Women are too emotional and self-centered to build civilization.

All Feminists are Doctor’s Daughters:

Feminism, the domain of doctor’s daughters, is for snobs. Men with dirty fingernails are haughtily ignored and dismissed. … Ironic, ain’t it, that feminists can be both perpetual victims and upper-class snobs at the same time, with the same remark and arrogant flick of the hair, as she puts her nose in the air and walks past. … Uppity cunts.

Dare to Struggle, Dare to Backlash:

Because feminism has attacked humans so viciously, injecting its hate-filled venom so deeply into both men and women, the “reaction” will not be a mere rainstorm. Deep, psychotic imbalance such as the type wrought by feminism and by liberals in general will necessitate a fucking shitstorm the likes of which we’ve hardly seen.

On Rape:

Constant rape accusations are ridiculous, given the sexless marriage epidemic. How many bored, asexual women stuck in a sexless marriage would love to be taken?

On Beauty:

Modern miseduated western women fear their femininity, fear their natural beauty, and run away from it. … The hags we currently see in western countries resemble a clear-cut, eroded mountain. A contemporary western woman reminds one of the landscape created by the orcs in The Lord of the Rings, ugly and unnatural, a place of evil and sadness.  

More to come; Alcuin’s idiocy is a renewable resource.

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Simon
Simon
13 years ago

Look, I’m sort of a functionalist. I don’t think that there was a master plan in Hitler’s head many years before he rose to power to eliminate all the Jews. I think that his hatred against Jews incited lower Nazi authorities to “prove” themselves and that he benevolently allowed them to carry it out.

Shora
13 years ago

That you would use the word “benevolent” to describe “allow genocide to occur on his watch” completely…… blows my mind

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
13 years ago

Of course Hitler wasn’t solely responsible for the Holocaust. He was just the project’s effective head and benefactor. Gosh, you guys are so unfair!

VoiP
VoiP
13 years ago

Please, again as last time, at least keep it polite.

Why, I declare, Simon, you do go on. Let’s be decorous!
Hahaha, no.

no.

Polite didn’t just leave when you started apologising for Hitler, polite drove out of here on a fucking motorcycle. Polite’s in a nurse’s outfit with a remote detonator in its godamn hand, and it is blowing up this here blogpost like Joker in Dark Knight, pile of burning money in the warehouse, I want to see this internet burn. Me and this Internet are, like, whoah. We have a special relationship, like the Joker and Harlequin from those Batman cartoons in the 90s. Those were good cartoons. But anyways, sometimes you just want to blow things up. I know you know what I’m talking about.

b) Heydrich is recorded as discussing a “final solution” that involved the forced evacuation “to the East” of all the Jews of Europe, including those in countries that were not under German military control at this time.

That’s because they planned to invade them in the future, wetfuck. That’s why they tabulate the number of Jews in Ireland and Finland, because they felt that at some point in the Glorious Future these places would come under their control. Do you not know what “planning” means, or do you need a dictionary? ‘Cause their future is so fucking white, they gotta wear shades.

And by “white” I mean killing people. FYI, most uses of the word “white” (in racial terms) mean killing people, at some point in the process.

a) never, in this important document is the outright killing of Jews discussed, to reach this conclusion an interpretation of the phrase “the possible final remnant will, as it must undoubtedly consist of the toughest, have to be treated accordingly” is required.

This, though, this is special. Because right here you cross the border from probably-just-stupid to actively goddamn mendacious. In order to know enough about what you’re talking about to know what Wannsee is in the first place, you have to know that by Jan ’42 the Einsatzgruppen had been and gone, the “wild killings” in the occupied East had been and gone, godforsaken gas vans had already been in operation and superseded because Chelmno was built in Dec. 41 and they used trucks with the exhaust pipes hooked up to gas chambers to smother their victims, which is still primitive compared to the method in Auschwitz (oh yes, there is a line of development for mass death, it’s just like the tech tree in a Civ. game) but it’s better than shooting people in the back of the head.

For one thing, you get brains on you less often.

that was a joke.

So anyway, my point is that there is no fucking way that HEYDRICH would not have known what they were dancing around, just too bound by the vestiges of a morality they had long since passed beyond to mention explicitly.

You don’t know what functionalism is, you don’t know what the intentionalism/functionalism debate entails, and neither one of us cares but that was dead as an issue by the ’90s, we’re talking about ideology, memory studies, and rape now. Like it matters, you are still the suckiest person in this thread.

VoiP
VoiP
13 years ago

(oh yes, there is a line of development for mass death, it’s just like the tech tree in a Civ. game)

THIS JUST IN
There is, apparently, a Civ mod where you play as Nazis and that’s a tech tree.
JAWESOME

(simon, you still suck.)

KathleenB
KathleenB
13 years ago

“I thought the Third Reich was a bit rubbish and decided to kill the Fuhrer. Who’s with me?”

Because it’s never a bad time for a Doctor Who quote!

VoiP
VoiP
13 years ago

Of course Hitler wasn’t solely responsible for the Holocaust. He was just the project’s effective head and benefactor. Gosh, you guys are so unfair!

Nobody’s arguing this, my point is just: Simon sucks.

CassandraSays
13 years ago

I can’t believe I actually just read a comment about how maybe Hitler wasn’t really responsible for the Holocaust. What is this, Godwin squared?

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
13 years ago

That’s because they planned to invade them in the future, wetfuck.

How have I not heard that particular term before? I love it! So evocative.

Actually that whole comment was delicious; props for the nearly poetic destruction of your (admittedly pretty weaksauce) target.

And I mean, I’m no historian or anything, but I would venture to guess that when someone like Hitler is running a strict fascist regime dedicated to purifying the human race of anyone who wasn’t a walking Aryan wetdream, the millions and millions of people carefully cataloged and studied and literally dissected before they were murdered en masse wasn’t some accidental totally unforeseen side effect of his whole plan that he just went with ’cause why not, he was an easygoing dude who liked to let his underlings do their own thing and think outside the box and shit.

Maybe Simon is right, and I’m just super way off base here, but I don’t usually think of Nazis as being vague or disorganized or chill kinds of people who went with the flow. I more think of them as being obsessively hierarchical totalitarian psychopaths who made the trains run exactly on goddamn precise time or someone got shot in the face, and also those trains were full of clearly labeled human beings getting efficiently killed in precise timely ways sometimes by being shot in the face. But that’s just my opinion. 😀

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
13 years ago

Simon, the fact that the top Nazis were deliberately vague about the Holocaust doesn’t mean

Hmm, now I’m imagining this:

Top Nazis: “Men, there are these evil horrible Jews trying to destroy our wonderful Fatherland, and also they need to be clearly marked and labeled and sorted into convenient areas, and maybe there should be some sort of final solution to take care of the Jew problem, and also we kind of envision there not being any Jews around in the nearish future. Final solution. Sudden lack of Jews. Hint hint hint.”

[later]

Nazi subordinates: “Sir! We started rounding up the Jews and killing them!”

Top Nazis: “Wait, WHAT? Killing them? OMG that is totally not what we meant, there has been a horrible mistake, how did you even get that out of what we said?? You were supposed to give all the Jews free trips to Disneyland, you dummkopfs! D:”

Snowy
Snowy
13 years ago

Shultz!

Dracula
Dracula
13 years ago

Huh. Reminds me an awful lot of the way DKM talks about feminists. Or “modern women” or what the fuck ever.

darksidecat
darksidecat
13 years ago

I am with you, Voip, on intentional starvations/decisions intended to cause death and torture. However, if you look at things like the site that David linked, all war and famine deaths are being grouped, for example. My point is that we do not talk about genocidal acts of western and capitalist regimes in the same way, not that Mao or the Soviets were behaving themselves. I do suspect though, that if they had been capitalist leaders whose genocide targeted the poor, they would not be the go to examples of bad actors. Why is it always Mao or Stalin and never, say, Andrew Jackson? Because the former are part of a social narrative about how “communists” are the greatest evil ever. We as a culture play up the bad acts of leftist regimes and downplay the bad acts of capitalist ones. I am not trying to say that bad acts of Mao and Stalin should not be criticized, only that they should be fairly contextualized and counted as compared to the bad acts of others.

VoiP
VoiP
13 years ago

Fuck, I’m not even going to bother. Hitler orchestrated the Holocaust. The “war on the Jews” was the driving force behind basically all he did. When things started to turn against him Germany in the war, he sacrificed strategic objectives in order to devote more resources to killing more Jews. He was the most evil motherfucker in a century filled with evil motherfuckers.

Not to mention. NOT TO MENTION, Simon, you are the dude who said that if anyone does any terrible thing, ever, such as Mary Daly, that is grounds for intellectually throwing them under the bus and never paying attention to any positive thing they say ever, ever again. You actually mentioned Stalin in this conversation.

Now, functionalism means that Hitler’s more or less OK. “Benevolent,” even. He’s the happy uncle, sitting back as his plump children misbehave.

There is no FUCK YOU big enough.

VoiP
VoiP
13 years ago

Why is it always Mao or Stalin and never, say, Andrew Jackson? Because the former are part of a social narrative about how “communists” are the greatest evil ever. We as a culture play up the bad acts of leftist regimes and downplay the bad acts of capitalist ones. I am not trying to say that bad acts of Mao and Stalin should not be criticized, only that they should be fairly contextualized and counted as compared to the bad acts of others.

OK, that’s different and I hear you and I understand where you are coming from. And the thing is, genocide studies actually deals with the actions of lots of non-Communist regimes. You may not have known this because, this being the Internet, great waves of popularized science wash against our shores. But we are paying attention to more than just Stalin and Mao. The point is, that that doesn’t mean that we should not pay attention to murderous regimes on the Left as well.

VoiP
VoiP
13 years ago

genocide studies actually deals with the actions of lots of non-Communist regimes.

Including (I’ve read at least one article to this effect) our own.

VoiP
VoiP
13 years ago

<blockquote. I don’t usually think of Nazis as being vague or disorganized or chill kinds of people who went with the flow. I more think of them as being obsessively hierarchical totalitarian psychopaths who made the trains run exactly on goddamn precise time or someone got shot in the face, and also those trains were full of clearly labeled human beings getting efficiently killed in precise timely ways sometimes by being shot in the face.
There’s actually a debate about this very topic. The hilarious thing is that both scenarios involve murderous hatred of Jews.

Interestingly enough, although this debate is kinda out of date now (currently we think that there’s no way the Nazi regime could have micro-planned every aspect of the Holocaust), one of the hot topics right now has to do with the relationship of the periphery (occupied Poland in ’39, early weeks of the occupation/invasion in the East, etc) to the center of decision-making. While no sensible person (I am looking at you, Simon) would say that the center had nothing to do with the Holocaust, especially in its later stages — you can’t build a death camp without Berlin figuring out that something is up — many early killings seem to have been undertaken by individuals or small units in the occupied East on their own, they just hated Jews that much, and kinda assumed that the war in the East would involve killing them. Which (1) is horrifying, and (2) in no way lessens the responsibility of centers of power in decision making, Simon.

VoiP
VoiP
13 years ago

…also those trains were full of clearly labeled human beings getting efficiently killed in precise timely ways sometimes by being shot in the face.

Back of the head, actually. And the Nazis spilled a lot of ink in discussing how emotionally scarring it was for their precious dudes to shoot people in the back of the head all day for days at a stretch. That was one of the reasons they switched to death camps.

Hershele Ostropoler
13 years ago

katz:

In reality, unless your psychology is very complicated, the statement “I think I’m right” is a truism.

Remind me again why I don’t have a quotes file?

Also: “If there were a verb meaning ‘to believe falsely,’ it would not have any significant first person, present indicative.” –Ludwig Wittgenstein

Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
Men's Rights Activist Lieutenant
13 years ago

DSC, you do realize that Stalin actually had concentration camps to which he sent political rivals and such? Andrew Jackson was not a great President, but again, your attempts to equate him with Stalin are fucking hilarious.

Simon
Simon
13 years ago

@VoIP:
Not to mention. NOT TO MENTION, Simon, you are the dude who said that if anyone does any terrible thing, ever, such as Mary Daly, that is grounds for intellectually throwing them under the bus and never paying attention to any positive thing they say ever, ever again. You actually mentioned Stalin in this conversation.

Obviously Hilter WAS evil, very, very, very, very evil and obviously extremely far too evil to be praised for anything positive that he might have done in his life. I just think if you want to compare Stalin’s and Mao’s evilness with Hitler’s you must know what exactly his role in orchestrating the Holocaust was!

And Mary Daly, come on, if she was serious about her views on trans people, oh God…

http://kittywampus.wordpress.com/2010/01/07/frankenstein-necrophilia-and-the-final-solution-how-transphobic-was-mary-daly-really/

CassandraSays
13 years ago

You know, as fucked up as Daly’s ideology is, I’m fairly certain that she was never actually in charge of a country. I’m not a big fan of crackpot academics, but their real world power is fairly limited in comparison to, say, a political leader with the ability to build death camps.

Bee
Bee
13 years ago

Andrew Jackson was not a great President

Particularly if you were Cherokee, or Creek, or Seminole, or Chickasaw, or …

Say, what was that you were saying about concentration camps, Mr. Al?