Like Chairman Mao, the MRA blogger Alcuin is a massive douchebag with intellectual pretensions far outstripping his limited brainpower. Also like Mao, Alcuin is perhaps best appreciated in tiny doses. Most of his posts are rambling, pretentious messes; yet many of them contain wonderful little nuggets of anti-wisdom that I feel compelled to share with you all.
Mao had his Little Red Book. Here’s part one of Alcuin’s Little Red-Faced Book. Click on the titles for the full posts.
[A] woman only thinks of her next meal, and which man can provide the best one for her. … Allow them to run organizations and society, and they will destroy everything. … Women are too emotional and self-centered to build civilization.
All Feminists are Doctor’s Daughters:
Feminism, the domain of doctor’s daughters, is for snobs. Men with dirty fingernails are haughtily ignored and dismissed. … Ironic, ain’t it, that feminists can be both perpetual victims and upper-class snobs at the same time, with the same remark and arrogant flick of the hair, as she puts her nose in the air and walks past. … Uppity cunts.
Dare to Struggle, Dare to Backlash:
Because feminism has attacked humans so viciously, injecting its hate-filled venom so deeply into both men and women, the “reaction” will not be a mere rainstorm. Deep, psychotic imbalance such as the type wrought by feminism and by liberals in general will necessitate a fucking shitstorm the likes of which we’ve hardly seen.
Constant rape accusations are ridiculous, given the sexless marriage epidemic. How many bored, asexual women stuck in a sexless marriage would love to be taken?
Modern miseduated western women fear their femininity, fear their natural beauty, and run away from it. … The hags we currently see in western countries resemble a clear-cut, eroded mountain. A contemporary western woman reminds one of the landscape created by the orcs in The Lord of the Rings, ugly and unnatural, a place of evil and sadness.
More to come; Alcuin’s idiocy is a renewable resource.
Ha, and I’m such a nerd that I didn’t realize that commercial was on the Super Bowl. I just saw it for the first time the other night. Oh well.
@Dracula:
Doctors, nothing. Being Prince of Wallachia and King of All Vampires isn’t enough to mark you as upper class?
That … was actually funny.
Well, the Van Helsing incident was something of a reversal of fortune.
Not gonna lie, I think that one was pretty funny. Totally stealing it as well, if you don’t mind 😉
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
“Keep the tip.”
Well, the Van Helsing incident was something of a reversal of fortune.
Yeah, the beginning of the “shitty vampire movies” era.
I gotta say that I find Hengist often funny.
But this is one of my favorite jokes, so some might think that I’m not the best judge of humour.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”
It always makes me laugh.
You know, my father is a crackhead and my mother is a laid off state work, but, you know, the majority of MRAs I have encountered were fairly upperclass.
It’s adorable when they try to be really poetic about being stupid.
You’re right, this Alucin guy is so dumb it hilarious. The part about feminism making him psychotic didn’t sound pleasant, though. It sounds like he’s one ‘pussy pass’ away from glorious MRA Martyrdom.
please don’t insult Chairman Mao by comparing him to this idot. Thanks.
“Men with dirty fingernails are haughtily ignored and dismissed.”
I wouldn’t want to date *anyone* who couldn’t practice proper hygiene. Ew.
What the fuck is a “clear cut, eroded mountain?”
I refuse to believe that a person actually wrote that. It was put together by some kind of text-spinning bot.
I imagine it refers to a once-forested mountain that’s had all its trees cut down, leaving nothing but bare stone, where previously the tree roots would have protected the soil from erosion by anchoring it in place. A piss-poor metaphor for femininity by any measure, given that femininity still, y’know, exists.
Better! I liked Holly’s Mordor joke more, but that one was at least chuckle-worthy. See how much better laughing at yourself works than yelling at other people about how they’re “self-important humorless nerds”?
To be fair, I was talking to the ones who insisted I was being serious and tried to engage me in arguments. If they’d just said it wasn’t funny, I wouldn’t have answered anything.
Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: That’s not funny, you sexist pig! :p
“Well, the Van Helsing incident was something of a reversal of fortune.”
“Yeah, the beginning of the “shitty vampire movies” era.”
Tell me about it. *shudder*
Christ, Van Helsing sucked all sorts of ass.
Q: How many MRAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One hundred.
One to screw it in the wrong way, then drop it and break it;
One to say that the socket was oppressing the light bulb and had it coming anyway;
And ninety-eight to upvote the second one’s comment on The Spearhead.
Indeed, that wasn’t funny.
Ye gods, I’m all kinds of behind. The previous was directed at Hengist, of course.
trotornot, Mao killed tens of millions of people, so I don’t really feel bad for insulting him.
Doctor daddy? I thought all feminists had daddy issues because they were abandoned by their fathers or something and that’s why they hate men. MRAs need to make up their minds on the sweeping generalisations about feminists’ backgrounds.
How many MRAs does it take to change a light bulb?
Pft, MRAs don’t change things.
Stolen from someone else here, sorry I don’t remember who.
How many environmentalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
6. One to buy an incandescent light bulb, 3 to lecture that person on CFLs, 1 to buy the CFL and install it, and 1 to make random comments because he or she’s stoned.
Men with dirty fingernails are haughtily ignored and dismissed.
Yes, Alcuin, women single-handedly invented personal hygiene for the sole purpose of oppressing men with it. Yes, I haughtily ignore and dismiss men with dirty fingernails. Dirty fingernails are gross. And given extremely cheap access nowadays to clean water and a variety of cleaning products, if you have dirty fingernails, you are a career slob, and I would need a hazmat suit to enter your home. That’s especially true if one encounters this dirty-fingernailed man in a club, where, according to MRA’s most of haughty dismissing takes place. If you are in a club hitting on women, and you can’t even bring to clean yourself properly beforehand, you are pathetic.
Q: How many patriarchs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but he just stands holding the light bulb while the house revolves around him.