Like Chairman Mao, the MRA blogger Alcuin is a massive douchebag with intellectual pretensions far outstripping his limited brainpower. Also like Mao, Alcuin is perhaps best appreciated in tiny doses. Most of his posts are rambling, pretentious messes; yet many of them contain wonderful little nuggets of anti-wisdom that I feel compelled to share with you all.
Mao had his Little Red Book. Here’s part one of Alcuin’s Little Red-Faced Book. Click on the titles for the full posts.
[A] woman only thinks of her next meal, and which man can provide the best one for her. … Allow them to run organizations and society, and they will destroy everything. … Women are too emotional and self-centered to build civilization.
All Feminists are Doctor’s Daughters:
Feminism, the domain of doctor’s daughters, is for snobs. Men with dirty fingernails are haughtily ignored and dismissed. … Ironic, ain’t it, that feminists can be both perpetual victims and upper-class snobs at the same time, with the same remark and arrogant flick of the hair, as she puts her nose in the air and walks past. … Uppity cunts.
Dare to Struggle, Dare to Backlash:
Because feminism has attacked humans so viciously, injecting its hate-filled venom so deeply into both men and women, the “reaction” will not be a mere rainstorm. Deep, psychotic imbalance such as the type wrought by feminism and by liberals in general will necessitate a fucking shitstorm the likes of which we’ve hardly seen.
Constant rape accusations are ridiculous, given the sexless marriage epidemic. How many bored, asexual women stuck in a sexless marriage would love to be taken?
Modern miseduated western women fear their femininity, fear their natural beauty, and run away from it. … The hags we currently see in western countries resemble a clear-cut, eroded mountain. A contemporary western woman reminds one of the landscape created by the orcs in The Lord of the Rings, ugly and unnatural, a place of evil and sadness.
More to come; Alcuin’s idiocy is a renewable resource.
Hey, Dracula? GIVE ME SOUP, DUDE.
SOOOOOUP
>give soup
YAY YAY TEXT ADVENTURE TIME
MissPrism drinks the soup and hands the bowl back to you. You notice strange runes written on the bottom of the now empty bowl.
>look at runes
But he actually defended the idea that women were in charge of cold war, or could be in charge.
Actually yes, it was a joke. Since somebody in another thread was going on about how all these male scientist dudes actually owed their success to women, or stole their ideas from women, or something, I said what if the Cold War dudes were also stealing the the ideas and work of women? That’s all, it was a silly joke until you and Amused decided to get all huffy and bust out the essays.
You’re just stupid, Hengist, but we knew that.
Coming from a self-inflated, humorless prat, that’s almost a compliment. I honestly wouldn’t want to be somebody _you_ liked.
Do these guys ever get tired of ripping apart all these strawmen? Yeah, no feminist ever fought for or was a part of the working class, or so much as put on lip gloss.
Hengist, you do realize that wanking about how no one likes your jokes makes you appear humorless, right? Someone with a good sense of humor doesn’t bitch and moan when his or her unfunny jokes don’t go over well.
Hengist; your joke just wasn’t funny full stop. The contentwas overused and the delivery was sub-par. So yea, if you’re definition of “having a sense of humor” is laughing at your bad jokes, then I guess I am humorless.
I have two friends who to this day can debate endlessly about the borg cube vs. the death star. I think that’s kind of funny, but what do i know? I’m a Humorless Feminist
The runes are in a language you can’t read, but they match the writing you saw in the Tome of Valor.
>go to library
>request tome of valor
Which is actually more or less what I need to do right now. See you guys. It’s been fun.
Thank you, Katz! I was stumped.
Oh Hengist! If there’s anything funnier than whining about how nobody got your totally hilarious joke, it’s explaining texactly what was so totally hilarious about it and then keeping on whining and whining until everybody dies.
Happy researching, Drac, and thanks for the soup!
*starts thinking about next meal*
The Tome of Valor says “You win!”
>perform victory dance
>depart
Hengist, you do realize that wanking about how no one likes your jokes makes you appear humorless, right? Someone with a good sense of humor doesn’t bitch and moan when his or her unfunny jokes don’t go over well.
Let’s see, my responses were: 1) to someone who flat-out didn’t get it, 2) someone who said I was serious, and 3) when people just refused to drop it because they make a full-time career out of arguing every little thing to death on the internet so they can feel like they “won” something.
Oh, and of course if I did let it go or just stopped answering, those same people would have busted out the “flounce” accusations.
Oh Hengist! If there’s anything funnier than whining about how nobody got your totally hilarious joke, it’s explaining texactly what was so totally hilarious about it and then keeping on whining and whining until everybody dies.
You know what’s even funnier? Not getting it, and then arguing to death about why it’s not funny. Gotta love this place.
OH HENGIST
I WANT GOOSE, HENGIST
Now that’s funny.
No, that person was extremely specific; not all men, but Babbage and Watson do owe some of their credit to women. There’s a reason I was specific as well. That you can’t read isn’t really news.
Not really an occupational hazard for a concern troll.
Alright. *gooses MissPrism*
Come on, people, show some Hengist some appreciation: at least when he’s trying to dodge, he’s employing a classic. Specifically, the classic we are all familiar with, outlined as follows: “When I said women are shit I didn’t mean women are shit, even though I totally meant it. It was a joke! Since you called me on my bullshit, that means you don’t understand humor (alternatively: can’t take a joke). So therefore you are an example of how women are shit.” That one never fails to impress.
Yeah, and he knew a feedline when he saw one.
Enough already. This is what I get for making a joke in a place full of self-important humorless nerds who treat internet arguing like a full-time job.
What’s funny is that this is supposed to be a “humorous” blog, yet most of you wouldn’t know humor if it bit you in the ass. Hint: Smugly mocking those outside your little clique isn’t it.
Here’s a joke:
What did the vampire say to the prostitute?
“See you next month!”
I actually thought Holly’s quip about the Cold War was funny on it’s own. I let out a “Ha.” But then, I’m sort of a foreign relations/poli sci nerd.
But then, I was also making my dog attack the vacuum cleaner for the better part of the morning, laughing my ass off. /humorless