Here you go. And it’s not even from r/mensrights! It’s from the pics subreddit. Reddit is creepy all over.
Once again, props to ShitRedditSays for pointing me to this one.
We Hunted The MammothBucking the Backlash
We Hunted The MammothHere you go. And it’s not even from r/mensrights! It’s from the pics subreddit. Reddit is creepy all over.
Once again, props to ShitRedditSays for pointing me to this one.
So you realized you cared about looks after all, or did you want to fuck with his head from the beginning?
GRR WHY CAN’T I CLOSE TAGS /fail
When I was younger, I too dated my share of men that I was not attracted to, out of guilt. And when I say “not attracted to”, I mean not just looks, but personalities, interests, etc. I too had it drilled into my head since childhood that rejecting a guy because he does not arouse you sexually is somehow “shallow” and “stupid”; women who have the temerity to look for personal satisfaction in relationships are stupid uppity bitches who end up with cats. If a guy isn’t a serial killer and he does you the awesome honor of actually being interested in you, how DARE you not date him! he deserves it!! Sadly, when you are brought up with these ideas, it takes time to get to the point where you can recognize misogyny for what it is and pursue personal happiness without making apologies for it. I could have avoided a lot of sick shit in my life if I didn’t think this way from the beginning.
There’s a lot of shaming women into dating men they aren’t really that interested in dating. I don’t even know why, because it’s not helping anyone at all. It’s bad for the women suffering in relationships they don’t want to be in, and it’s bad for the men dealing with the emotional shitstorm of dating someone who really…. doesn’t want to date you.
And yet men who care about looks and won’t appreciate a woman’s “inner beauty” are shallow, misogynist jerks, right? Why is that?
And yet men who care about looks and won’t appreciate a woman’s “inner beauty” are shallow, misogynist jerks, right?
No. Once again, you are using a ridiculous strawman. Or are you trying to joke again?
First of all, caring about looks doesn’t mean caring ONLY about looks, so that’s a big difference right there. Second, caring about looks doesn’t mean denying that there is more to the person, as an individual, friend, partner and human being, than that person’s body and genitals. Men who see their wives and girlfriends as mere semen receptacles and don’t care about them as human beings are lousy husbands and boyfriends. Men who see women, as a gender, as mere fucktoys and servants are shallow, misogynistic jerks. That does not include all, or even the majority of men who simply care about looks to some extent. Does that clear it up for you?
Hengist, there’s a difference between being physically attracted to someone and caring for them *only* for their looks.
Actually, not right. Men who believe/act like every women in the world has to conform to their standard of beauty, with the implication that they are less valuable if they don’t, are shallow, misogynist jerks. Men who go “Eh, she’s not really my type,” and move on, or just become friends, or whatever are just…. normal.
Alright, my mistake. So partially caring about looks is okay, as long as you also appreciate the person’s other qualities?
@Hengist
Eh. I think the complaint is more along the lines of “Women are expected to respond favorably to any sort of male attention and shouldn’t care about looks, while men get go be more selective about physical attractiveness.”
The thing is, everyone regardless of gender has some standards of physical beauty. It’s not wrong to care about looks. It becomes a problem when looks are the ONLY thing one cares about, and insisting that everybody must conform to those specific standards. (And there are both men and women who do that.) That might work if all you want is casual sex, but not for a long-term relationship.
Sure. So as long as we have that settled, is it wrong to gently push someone into improving in the looks department so that side of their attractiveness is also brought up to match the rest?
is it wrong to gently push someone into improving in the looks department so that side of their attractiveness is also brought up to match the rest?
Mostly, it’s impossible and it just ends up as harassing them for being “ugly” in your opinion. It’s not like comments from total strangers or casual acquaintances often touch off major personal changes.
Also, people have different standards of physical beauty.
Also, everyone has the right to say “Okay, so I’m not pretty to you. Don’t fuck me then.”
Yes, it’s wrong, unless that someone is your long-term partner or spouse who let themselves go for a while. With that exception, people are not projects, and you don’t have any legitimate expectation that they change themselves to accommodate your wants. Even wronger is “gently pushing someone” and then expecting them to fuck you out of gratitude.
Yes, that is wrong, because other people are not entitled to match up to your standard of beauty. What they do with their body has nothing to do with you. And you’re judgement of their attractiveness has nothing to do with them. There are billions of people in the world. Move on.
entitled = required.
Man i’m distracted today.
“Sure. So as long as we have that settled, is it wrong to gently push someone into improving in the looks department so that side of their attractiveness is also brought up to match the rest?”
I’d say maybe the only exception to turning people into something they’re not would be if they were disturbingly unhygienic. If your partner smells like fish, I guess there’s nothing wrong with telling her to take a shower.
“Once there was this girl in my class who had quite an attractive face but was pretty chubby. Not too much but enough so she clearly wouldn’t be able to ride the carousel.”
‘Cuz fat ladies never, ever get laid. Ever!
I’m curious, MRAL–what do you think about fat guys? Where do they fit into the overall system?
“I’m curious, MRAL–what do you think about fat guys? Where do they fit into the overall system?”
They are unfairly ignored by women. At least guys like MRAL have the decency to tell a woman that she’s fat so she has the chance to lose some weight before she gets the privilage to fornicate with him.
Sure. So as long as we have that settled, is it wrong to gently push someone into improving in the looks department so that side of their attractiveness is also brought up to match the rest?
A good rule of thumb is to ask whether, if you were 100% above board about what you were doing, whether the relationship would end. The space defined by what you suggested and what MRAL plotted includes everything from “I love you, you love me, we each would like to be a little sexier for each other by each other’s standards and hang out sweatily sometimes, let’s go to the gym together,” to, as in MRAL “well, I’ll fuck you in order to manipulate you into becoming someone I’d actually want to fuck.”
Saying one of those can work pretty well, unless your partner is super insecure about that sort of project, in which case you should pick a different “get hotter together” gf. Saying the other represents a contempt and manipulation of your partner that’s pretty disgusting, and is unlikely to go over well, no matter what.
MRAL, in a previous thread, I commented that, beneath all your whining self-pity, you really only post here so you can call women “bitches,” because you’re too cowardly to say it to a woman’s face in real life. I hereby amend that remark and apologize for assuming you were so one-dimensional. Clearly, you’re here to call women “bitches” AND “fat fucks.”
Seriously, how hard is it to not be an asshole? Don’t be an asshole. It will make you sad. You’ve seen NWO.
I’m really sorry I wasted time in the past giving you good advice for fixing your problems, and my only consolation is that I know you ignored it.
“Saying one of those can work pretty well, unless your partner is super insecure about that sort of project, in which case you should pick a different “get hotter together” gf. Saying the other represents a contempt and manipulation of your partner that’s pretty disgusting, and is unlikely to go over well, no matter what.”
Yeah, the motive is what’s important here. I know a guy who shaves his head now because his girlfriend likes that buzzed army guy look, and he enjoys lacing her into corsets. The thing that makes this different from MRAL’s scenario is that 1.) they were dating and enjoyed each other *before* these changes and 2.) they’re doing it to please each other as well as themselves.
@shaenon: This is the kind of comment that makes a woman want to eat a million cheeseburgers.
As I type this (lunchtime!), I am nomming down on a big old serving of my homemade mac’n’chese (made with Cabot Vermont Cheddar), nom nom nom!!!
Jesus, before someone has a heart attack or something, I was trolling. I knew that would elicit a huge reaction. I don’t condone that kind of stuff.
Although I do think the ultra fragile PC bullshit is hilarious. Newsflash: fat people are ugly. I’m not interested in dating fat people, and this is from someone with disadvantages. Alphas and betas sure as FUCK don’t want to date fat chicks.