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Like a Surgeon: The battle for World’s Creepiest Redditor heats up

Also not a real surgeon.

Currently, the skeezy ephebophile rape-enthusiast violentacrez is the reigning champion of Reddit creepiness. But he’s got a new rival nipping at his heels: a porn-and-sex-obsessed fella who calls himself mroglolblo. Though he’s had his account for less than two weeks, he’s already taking creepy comments to a new level. Here’s what’s probably the creepiest of the lot, posted (as you’ll notice) in a thread about Nintendo.

Oh, by the way, TRIGGER WARNING for all of his comments, which tend to be sexually explicit and often pretty rapey.

 

The only thing that allows me to retain my faith in humanity (and the medical profession) is my almost complete certainty that he is not really a surgeon and that this bit of celebrity bladder fondling never happened outside of mroglolblo’s fevered imagination.

But what an imagination it is! Here he offers some thoughts on quantum physics and the Large Hadron Collider. (Or should that be the Large Hardon Collider?)

 I’d love to have gotten a rare inside visit to the Cern supercollider and jerked off right into the tubes as they were starting a run and everyone freaks out until they discover my sperm travelled 25 times the speed of light and scientists shit themselves when they see the results, and to confirm the results they have me whack off into the supercollider in front of a team of top physicists and dignitaries live on tv and the results are reproduced and it turns out my sperm has unique properties and they have the Spanish girl from My name is earl lay spread eagle in the collider that I whack off into again and she gives birth to a baby with the powers of superman and he turns out to be crazy and by force makes Felicia Day and Olivia Munn submit to a 1500 man gangbang at the next comicon.

Needless to say, mroglolblo has an extensive knowledge of pornography. Really, really, really extensive. Charmingly, he’s rather modest about his accomplishments:

I wouldn’t say I know all that much about porn. More than the average guy for sure but there is a whole other level of porn aficianado out there that dwarfs mine. It’s the guys who have been following porn for 20+ years and have tens of thousands of posts on sites like Adultdvdtalk and planetsuzy.com and run blogs about porn who are the real experts who have helped educate me. It’s kind of like what Newton said about standing on the shoulders of giants.

What if for some reason you’re temporarily unable to access your porn? Well, mroglolblo has an answer to that, which involves collecting the pubic hair of one of his sister’s friends. I can’t bring myself to post it. Or to post his detailed fantasies about Scarlett Johanssen and her anus.

Naturally, Reddit loves the guy. Indeed, one of his skeeziest comments, involving some almost-certainly-imaginary incest with his aunt, garnered him nearly 400 upvotes.

Props to fxexular in ShitRedditSays for bringing him to my attention.

 

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Holly Pervocracy
9 years ago

To be honest, this guy doesn’t bother me. He’s a proper troll–one who just wants to be ridiculous rather than prove some grand point–and he’s actually kinda funny.

Gross funny, but I’ll take twenty of him over one AnnArchist.

zombie rotten mcdonald

Props to the commenters on the bladder comment who kept comparing him to the doctor from Human Centipede.

Nahida
9 years ago

Yeah I’m with Holly. He only amuses and disgusts me.

hellkell
hellkell
9 years ago

This guy is gross and kinda dumb, but unlike Paniorpa, I get the sense he’s in on the joke.

Joanna
9 years ago

Is it just me… or is this guy taking the piss out of creepy guys…?

Kollege Messerschmitt
9 years ago

Yeah, he is just TOO over to take seriously.
He kind of make me laugh and throw up in my mouth a little at the same time.
No way he can be real!

…r-right?

Kollege Messerschmitt
9 years ago

*TOO over the top to take seriously

damn you, creepy internet person!

qwert666
qwert666
9 years ago

@ David Futrelle

As most of your followers above have figured out the guy is not being serious, he’s taking the piss. He’s clearly writing this stuff for his own amusement and, I would think, the amusement of others. However, it is you, David, who has given me the greatest laugh today
by posting this shit up on your blog and trying to ridicule the man, thinking he’s serious. You are absolutely priceless. Thank you.

vacuumslayer
9 years ago

Id probably be offended if I didn’t suspect Poe or that this guy–while he may be creepy—just doesn’t take himself seriously at all. It’s the serious ones who bother me.

white knight
white knight
9 years ago

He trollin’. He’s also got a way to go to even approach the unadulterated skeeviness of violentacrez.

Mr. Kobold
Mr. Kobold
9 years ago

@ qwert666

Clicking on links must be difficult for you, but the entire “I’m just taking a piss out of you all” thing you think he’s doing kind of falls flat when he’s a guy who enjoys rape porn.

johnnykaje
9 years ago

I found the surgeon comment creepy even if it is a poe. But that’s less my fear of creepy guy assault and more my tomophobia* talking.

DUDE THOSE ARE MY INNARDS QUIT FUCKING AROUND

*I blame this on the proliferation of medical dramas in my youth. That, and that one episode of Seinfeld. The one with the Junior Mints…

Valerie
Valerie
9 years ago

This guy doesn’t seem real but if he is, this is what he meant to say – I was once outside a hospital where a super model might or might not have been and i was near the ambulance bay jerking off until the EMT guys saw me and kicked me off the property.

Nobody that thinks about their crotch that much is disciplined enough to sit through one day of medical school.

qwert666
qwert666
9 years ago

@ Mr. Kobald

So the fact that he “likes rape porn” precludes him from having a sense of humour and means that everything he writes is to be taken as gospel, right?

Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel
9 years ago

I think we’re just aficionados of the lack-of-self-awareness species of manboob

darksidecat
9 years ago

There’s nothing wrong with having a few rape porn fetishes (provided you know the difference between reality and fantasy), spamming them all over random places on the internet, however, is gross.

Comrade Svilova
9 years ago

There’s also the aspect that rape porn itself can be questionable ethically (how is it produced? there’s a lot of abuse and coercion in porn production). Obviously if you find a production company that goes the extra mile to ensure complete informed consent, testing, and other safeguards for the performers it isn’t as much of a problem … but there are a lot of porn producers who don’t look after the well-being of performers … or who actively work to undermine or coerce consent.

Mr. Kobold
Mr. Kobold
9 years ago

@qwertt

“So the fact that he “likes rape porn” precludes him from having a sense of humour and means that everything he writes is to be taken as gospel, right?”

No, it’s more like when the guy whose got a car bedecked with bumper sticker of the Stars and Bars and curious number 88s starts making jokes about asians. While there may not be a explicit connection to something shitty, you should have enough info on character to make a reasonable guess.

And honestly, how much of social fuck up do you have to be to consider:
“and by force makes Felicia Day and Olivia Munn submit to a 1500 man gangbang at the next comicon.” as a sense of humor?

necrocannibal
necrocannibal
9 years ago

Someone should write a death metal song about this guy.

swashy
9 years ago

I think the post about the LHC demonstrates what I believe secretly drives alot of MRA’s.. a hugely unwarranted sense of self-importance and a bizarre need to pass on their genes, hence they’re disgusting comments on depriving women of rights.

Kariface
Kariface
9 years ago

One of my favourite history teachers wrote her thesis on the history or pornography. It was awesome.

katz
9 years ago

Whether he’s serious or not, it’s still creepy as hell.

rabbitwink
rabbitwink
9 years ago

Considering people are unmade-up, fully draped & bonnetted, shielded with drapes for sterility, anesthetized with cotton over their eyes, I’d bet a million dollars a surgeon wouldn’t, couldn’t recognize a bladder surgery patient.
This is pure fantasy.
creepy fantasy, to be sure, but fantasy nonetheless.
There certainly is surgeon misbehaviour, but it generally plays out much differently than some loser jizzing in his scrubs.

blitzgal
9 years ago

Yes, it’s a sexual fantasy about being aroused by playing with someone’s guts while they are knocked out and completely vulnerable. I honestly can’t tell if this guy is a Poe or not, but that’s sickening.

MissCherryPi
9 years ago

He’s like the Larry Groznic of porn.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
9 years ago

That comment about the supercollider…wow, I think we’ve found the human personification of Rule 34. He’s like Pedobear, but less specific.

Alan
9 years ago

I don’t think he’s one of those mens rights guys. If you read his porn comments you”ll notice he lists Feminist pornstars Chloe Camilla and Lorelei Lee as his favorite pornstars, and links to interviews on salon.com and seems to find their intelligence a huge turnon.

Of course he also fantasizes about having sex with a woman wearing a hot dog costume so I don’t know what to think http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuxgs/are_there_any_porn_clips_out_there_where_you_can/