Like a Surgeon: The battle for World’s Creepiest Redditor heats up

Currently, the skeezy ephebophile rape-enthusiast violentacrez is the reigning champion of Reddit creepiness. But he’s got a new rival nipping at his heels: a porn-and-sex-obsessed fella who calls himself mroglolblo. Though he’s had his account for less than two weeks, he’s already taking creepy comments to a new level. Here’s what’s probably the creepiest of the lot, posted (as you’ll notice) in a thread about Nintendo.

Oh, by the way, TRIGGER WARNING for all of his comments, which tend to be sexually explicit and often pretty rapey.

The only thing that allows me to retain my faith in humanity (and the medical profession) is my almost complete certainty that he is not really a surgeon and that this bit of celebrity bladder fondling never happened outside of mroglolblo’s fevered imagination.

But what an imagination it is! Here he offers some thoughts on quantum physics and the Large Hadron Collider. (Or should that be the Large Hardon Collider?)

 I’d love to have gotten a rare inside visit to the Cern supercollider and jerked off right into the tubes as they were starting a run and everyone freaks out until they discover my sperm travelled 25 times the speed of light and scientists shit themselves when they see the results, and to confirm the results they have me whack off into the supercollider in front of a team of top physicists and dignitaries live on tv and the results are reproduced and it turns out my sperm has unique properties and they have the Spanish girl from My name is earl lay spread eagle in the collider that I whack off into again and she gives birth to a baby with the powers of superman and he turns out to be crazy and by force makes Felicia Day and Olivia Munn submit to a 1500 man gangbang at the next comicon.

Needless to say, mroglolblo has an extensive knowledge of pornography. Really, really, really extensive. Charmingly, he’s rather modest about his accomplishments:

I wouldn’t say I know all that much about porn. More than the average guy for sure but there is a whole other level of porn aficianado out there that dwarfs mine. It’s the guys who have been following porn for 20+ years and have tens of thousands of posts on sites like Adultdvdtalk and planetsuzy.com and run blogs about porn who are the real experts who have helped educate me. It’s kind of like what Newton said about standing on the shoulders of giants.

What if for some reason you’re temporarily unable to access your porn? Well, mroglolblo has an answer to that, which involves collecting the pubic hair of one of his sister’s friends. I can’t bring myself to post it. Or to post his detailed fantasies about Scarlett Johanssen and her anus.

Naturally, Reddit loves the guy. Indeed, one of his skeeziest comments, involving some almost-certainly-imaginary incest with his aunt, garnered him nearly 400 upvotes.

Props to fxexular in ShitRedditSays for bringing him to my attention.