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Cosmetics: An evil plot to fool the men of the world into thinking that ladies are pretty

Evil female deceiver at work

Ladies! You may think you’ve got the men of the world fooled, but the guys over on MGTOWforums.com can see right through you! As dontmarry puts it:

Everything that a woman does is deceitful. From makeup, push-up bras and high heels, to fibbing about her dick count or proclamations of ‘I don’t mind marrying a poor man’ (oh yes you do).

That’s right, ladies! We know those eyelashes aren’t real! We know your cheeks aren’t really that rosy! And your lips aren’t really that red! And your boobies aren’t really … um, what was I saying? I got distracted thinking about boobies. Anyway, you’re all a bunch of liars! I bet some of you even wear Spanx, which are a tool of Satan.

Also, that thing he said about the dick count. Stop the lies! We demand dick count accuracy!

 

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G.L. Piggy
13 years ago

your life must be horrible.

yeah, that’s what i was saying.

Holly Pervocracy
13 years ago

I think the question of “deceit” also runs into the question of how much of your personal appearance, sexual history, or romantic preferences are the public’s goddamn business.

I don’t think everyone on the street has the right to know how big a person’s breasts really are or how blotchy their complexion really is, much less how many people they’ve really slept with.

G.L. Piggy
13 years ago

Bathrobe:

i think there is a difference between routine hygiene and boob jobs, year-round tanning, and gold-digging.

what interests me is that there are hypocrisies on both sides of this debate. MGTOW will rail against women who are seen doing these things, and feminists will alternate between railing on these materialistic women or defending women from these charges.

G.L. Piggy
13 years ago

Holly:

i’m not sure where you see men publicly harping on women for their notch counts and making the discussion of notch counts everyone’s business. other women are more apt to do that. where you mostly see blowback on women with high notch counts is on the internet where men discuss the concept of “high notch counts”. most of these men would still get down and dirty with a woman with a high notch count, but the internet is a place to discuss ideals and “how things should be”.

but it’s not anyone’s business until a man who is weighing the prospects of dating a woman asks the question. if he doesn’t want to date a woman who has had too many partners – whatever number he deems as such – then that is his choice.

MissPrism
13 years ago

There must be some other meaning of “deceitful” that’s in play here. Because none of this makes any sense at all.

What the blistering fuck is deceitful about buying flowers? Are they hologram flowers? “I have brought you flowers” would be a deceitful thing to say if you had not, in fact, brought flowers. Or if what you had brought was a whole load of spiders on skewers.

Similarly, wearing lipstick is not deceitful unless the lipstick-wearer shouts “Look at me I am not wearing any lipstick”, and that would be an odd thing to do as lipstick is openly sold and advertised and most people know what it looks like.

johnnykaje
13 years ago

Basic hygiene and grooming does not equal deception.

*puts on radfem hat*

I wouldn’t call makeup, heels etc. grooming, and certainly not basic hygiene. Fashion maybe? It’s an arbitrary fashion demanded of women (like ties and suits in men). I personally am anti-makeup and anti-heels (for myself only), because I’m against arbitrary fashion that impedes my comfort and time.

zombie rotten mcdonald
13 years ago

Oh, and I wipe my ass every time I go poop in order to deceive people into believing that I do not, in fact, smell like shit.

All right, that last one was probably TMI, but you get the point. Basic hygiene and grooming does not equal deception.

Captain, do you not remember the thread where the MRAs defended not wiping their asses?

paniorpa
13 years ago

I disagree with these men. I honestly believe I am more deceitful than the vast majority of women, and since I am more intelligent, I can easily dupe them into spreading their legs open and contribute to their skyrocketing dick count.

MissPrism
13 years ago

Nobinayamu – I too have never once been asked my “number” by anyone at all, so have never even had the opportunity to lie about it, let alone any cause to do so.

I deceitfully wear a bra though, just to make it look, to my gullible victims, as though I wear a bra. (And it hurts not to, but mostly it’s the sheer thrill of deceit.)

blitzgal
13 years ago

“feminists will alternate between railing on these materialistic women or defending women from these charges.”

Feminists rail against cultural expectations that REQUIRE women to do these things (because women who do NOT do these things are socially punished for it in various ways). I wear glasses, no makeup, t-shirt/jeans, and have short hair. Men on the street take it upon themselves to: 1) ask if I’m female 2) call me a dyke 3) sexually harass me to ‘put me in my place.’

The simple fact is that some men (not all, but some) are threatened and/or offended by women who do not conform to the above standards. It’s really a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” scenario. We’re blamed for conforming, but punished if we don’t.

Captain Bathrobe
13 years ago

i think there is a difference between routine hygiene and boob jobs, year-round tanning, and gold-digging.

Indeed, Piggy, but are we going far enough here to insure that men are adequately protected from such egregious acts of fraud?

Perhaps we should delegate the task of keeping track of “dick count” to a government agency, like the DMV? Then men could get a printout of any prospective dates sexual experience–kind of like Carfax. Also, any body work, cosmetic surgery, use of tanning booths, makeup, birth control, abortions, and history of gold digging could be meticulously documented, so that any hapless male knows exactly what he’s getting into, as it were.

Perhaps vaginas themselves should be subject to periodic inspection and registration with an appropriate government agency. We could call it the Department of Poontang, and it would required by law to be decorated in late 70s style, with Barry White playing at all times.

Vaginas could be fitted with little turnstiles so that every act of sexual congress is recorded and its record transmitted to the DOP. Perhaps a small digital read out of the Dick Count could be permanently attached to a woman’s lower back, where it would function like a car’s odometer. Needless to say, tampering with the Dick Count Meter would be subject to the most severe penalties allowed by law.

See, I’m an idea guy. Let me know if you need any more.

Bostonian
Bostonian
13 years ago

How horrifying, the creep is here. It really says something when someone is even worse than our usual trolls.

Captain Bathrobe
13 years ago

I wouldn’t call makeup, heels etc. grooming, and certainly not basic hygiene. Fashion maybe? It’s an arbitrary fashion demanded of women (like ties and suits in men). I personally am anti-makeup and anti-heels (for myself only), because I’m against arbitrary fashion that impedes my comfort and time.

Fair enough, but neither does fashion equal deception.

Captain Bathrobe
13 years ago

Captain, do you not remember the thread where the MRAs defended not wiping their asses?

No, I don’t. Man, it’s hard to do irony when irony is dead.

Holly Pervocracy
13 years ago

Philosophical question: can a woman with breast implants really be considered to be “lying” about her breast size? If someone’s wearing a push-up bra and she takes it off, you can see her breasts are smaller underneath. But breast implants don’t come off; they’ll be just as big when she’s naked and during sex.

Since her original small breasts no longer exist in a recognizable form, can she really be accused of “hiding” them?

Holly Pervocracy
13 years ago

I honestly believe I am more deceitful than the vast majority of women

Funnily enough, I believe this too.

hellkell
hellkell
13 years ago

Paniorpa, I totally buy you’re more deceitful that most. You’re also creepier than most, so I’m not sure if I believe the last part of your comment.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
13 years ago

Ha ha, I have fooled everyone into thinking my fingernails are purple, and my eyelids are sparkly silver. It’s all part of my evil scheme to um, take over the world or something. I think the MGTOW are mad at regular women for not looking like Jessica Alba when they take their makeup off. Hell, even Jessica Alba doesn’t look like Jessica Alba when she takes her makeup off. I personally find it relieving to see pictures of stars without makeup, as cheesy as those tabloids are. It reassures me that even actresses and models need some Revlon to look the way they do, so it’s okay for us mere mortals to use cosmetics, too.

zombie rotten mcdonald
13 years ago

boob jobs, year-round tanning, and gold-digging.

Pop quiz: which one of these things is not like the other?

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
13 years ago

You mean like this Captain Bathrobe:

Oh wait, that is something positive for women. NEVER MIND. 😛

Captain Bathrobe
13 years ago

I’m at work, Beth, so I can’t view it now. But any movie with the title Amazon Women on the Moon has to be ten different kinds of awesome. 🙂

Amnesia
Amnesia
13 years ago

Why are they railing against cosmetics when they should be railing against clothes? I mean, everybody that wears clothes hides the true form of their bodies from everyone else!
Anybody here wearing clothes is a liar and a deceiver and probably a communist. Somehow.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
13 years ago

The movie is the MOST AWESOME THING FROM THE 80s that involves all those actors. (it is mainly just a bunch of hilarious shorts.)

cynickal
cynickal
13 years ago

Would you concede that there is a sizable proportion of women who behave this way?

I’m not David, but I’d concede, No. Stop being stupid.

Hershele Ostropoler
13 years ago

Piggy:

the word used by the MGTOW’er was “deceitful”. there is an element of deceit in that just as there are elements of deceit in things that guys do too. buying flowers, dates, romance, highlighting occupational roles or status, etc. are tactics of “deceit” that guys might use to woo women.

This morning someone handed me something and I said “thank you” rather than snatching it out of their hand. I’m such a filthy, filthy liar.

Piggy:

feminists will alternate between railing on these materialistic women or defending women from these charges.

Question for the group: do you think he means “some feminists rail and other feminists defend” or “some women rail and other women defend, and if women do something that means feminists support it”?

MissPrism:

There must be some other meaning of “deceitful” that’s in play here. Because none of this makes any sense at all.

It’s straight-up equivocation: being deceitful (as the term is generally understood) is bad. Women are deceitful (in a technically correct sense of the word that is so broad as to include almost anything anyone does). Therefore, women are bad.

Pan:

I honestly believe I am more deceitful

Are you a Cretan?

Anyway, we’ve already established you’re a dreadful human being, a skidmark in the species’s collective underwear, so, yeah.