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Lady, killer; killer, lady.

What do women want? Freud never found a definitive answer to his famous question, but the blogger who calls himself Delusion Damage thinks he’s got it figured out: women want men who can kill people with their bare hands.

DD is a sort of compound MRA-PUA who argues for “Men’s Liberation Through ‘Game,’” as he put it in a Spearhead post some months ago.  Apparently, if dudes learn how to get the hot babes to give them strings-free sexy times, through the magic of “game,” this will help to “reduce the unilateral enslavement of men through marriage.”

And what attracts the ladies more than the ability to kill? Not much, apparently. If you’ve got that magic killing touch, everyone around you will sense your manly power:

You are a man. A man is a survivor, a hunter, a protector of loved ones. The essence of manliness is controlled power. … That is what women love and what other men respect. Women, most of them anyway, are unable to use force and must rely on men where force is required. … If you lack the ability to kill other people with your bare hands, you will be perceived as if something is missing from your manliness. …

If you can kill, the ladies will pick up on this instantly:

[H]aving the ability substantially raises the value she instinctively perceives you to have. Which, as we know, leads to all manner of good things.

I believe he’s referring to blowjobs.

Oh, and other dudes will be impressed, too:

The respect of other men is also greatly influenced by your killing ability. Up until graduation from high school, the male social hierarchy has a great deal to do with “who can beat up whom”, and although the hierarchy among adult men is more dependent on social and professional status signals, men never stop instinctively evaluating you by what they perceive your killing ability to be, and respecting or disrespecting you accordingly.

And this will set you apart from all the wimpy emo hipsters of the world, who couldn’t even fight a girl:

If there is a “defining” degree of killing ability that makes you “manly”, it is defined by comparison with the female of the species. …

In these dismal times, men who fall short of this line are not terribly rare. Many of the emaciated hipsters and cubicle-dwellers of our generation would have trouble against a Juanita from a rougher neighborhood. These men, due to their lack of killing ability, are seen as unmanly by both men and women. 

Meanwhile, your ability to kill will make others sit up and take notice:

The ability to kill makes your feelings relevant. If you lose your temper, someone dies.

This of course implies good things about you – the fact that you aren’t in jail right now means that you are a man in control of his emotions. A man who never loses his temper. Everyone around you subconsciously understands this and respects you for it. It lets people know they can trust you.

Yeah, nothing screams “trustworthy” more than a guy going on and on about how he could kill you with his bare hands.

Also, the ability to kill can help to prevent the ladies from blabbing endlessly about their stupid lady crap to you:

A woman who knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that she will have less than three seconds to live from the second she makes you lose your temper is not going to set out to intentionally poke and prod you past your breaking point.

Aw, yeah, it’s good to be a potential bare-hands killer:

[Y]ou will be afforded a completely unprecedented kind of respect. …

When you are The Man, everyone around takes note. It is a form of celebrity. Women gravitate to you, pulled by the invisible streams of attention, respect and deference which we all subconsciously sense in any social situation.

Given the sort of adoring attention DD must get from the ladies, it’s sort of amazing that he finds time to even keep up a blog at all.

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Pecunium
13 years ago

chukeedee it’s not me that thinks I’m being intellectual, but everyone else.

Objection: Assumes facts not in evidence.

captainbathrobe
captainbathrobe
13 years ago

Here, Chuckee, I’ll make it easy for you. Let’s assume that this drivel is your thesis:

Basically, women are creatures of proximity, and will cheerfully commit to/fuck the first knucklehead that takes them on a second date. They are that easy. Sometimes a woman might strike it lucky and stumble across someone half- way decent, but again, that’s more often a product of proximity, rather than intelligent agency.

Now, that’s enough to get you, maybe, a D at the local Community College if you were silly enough to submit it to the instructor. Let’s try for a C-: provide some evidence, any evidence, that your thesis has some merit.

Hengist
Hengist
13 years ago

Yeah, I never understood the “he/she stole my boyfriend/girlfriend” line either. We’re talking about a person here, not a bike or an iPod. Unless that person was physically kidnapped (which probably isn’t the case too often), it means they also made the decision to leave. I dunno, it just seems strange to attribute to some random guy/girl the power of “stealing” your significant other as if they could overpower their will or something.

Hengist
Hengist
13 years ago

“Basically, women are creatures of proximity, and will cheerfully commit to/fuck the first knucklehead that takes them on a second date. They are that easy.”

Really? Man, you gotta tell me where you live!

captainbathrobe
captainbathrobe
13 years ago

You’ll have to take that up with Chuckeedee, Hengist.

Sharculese
13 years ago

Sharculese, it’s not me that thinks I’m being intellectual, but everyone else. I just say it as I see it, and it was cap’nbathtub that began obsessing over the way that I express myself, trying to pigeon-hole it.

its weird then, because ive never actually seen anyone call you an ‘intellectual’ but you seem to go on and on about how you are one.

If you too think that I’m being intellectual, fine. See if I care.

lol nobody thinks that

zombie rotten mcdonald
13 years ago

chukeedee it’s not me that thinks I’m being intellectual, but everyone else.

“Intellectual” isn’t the word you are looking for.

zombie rotten mcdonald
13 years ago

sharculese was longer and funnier. And faster. damn.

Joanna
13 years ago

Hmm…well, I can say I like it rough, but not “black eye and broken nose” rough. Certainly not “death by bare hands” rough… O.o These guys must also think that spinach gives you super human strength.

Skyal
Skyal
13 years ago

Funny how many people are meeting/marrying people they met online. My husband was 3000 miles away when we got together…Proximity; I do not think it means what chuckeedee thinks it means.

Pecunium
13 years ago

Skyal; Yeah, same here.

Molly Ren
13 years ago

Chuckeedee, you know what bugs me the most? Your sn. I keep reading it as “chickadee”.

PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
PosterformerlyknownasElizabeth
13 years ago

Objection sustained Pecunium

Also, my favorite and only poet I like is Edgar Lee Masters. I love Minerva Jones.

Valerie
Valerie
13 years ago

@Kollege-
That’s an excellent question about the bears. I’ll have think on it a while, but you know when the end of world comes and the zombies take over, as they will, the teddy bears might turn into zombies too. And as everyone knows, MRA’s are very effective with their zombie laser blasters. So we all just better start washing dishes and get on their good side if we ever want to eat. I joke, of course, zombies can only infect organic tissue.

havebookswilltravel
13 years ago

Alright, it’s got to be said. Yeats > Milton. I’m sorry, it’s just true (ducks behind his hedge of turf).

zombie rotten mcdonald
13 years ago

…but you know when the end of world comes and the zombies take over, as they will,

Valerie is an extraordinarily clear thinking person.

Orion
Orion
13 years ago

You know, I do actually know some women who will have sex with “literally anyone who takes them out on a second date.” That’s because if they didn’t like the man that way, they *wouldn’t go on a second date with him.*

Seraph
Seraph
13 years ago

I once heard someone say “if you can’t explain your point in a way that a ten-year-old can understand, you are a charlatan.”

Not always true. There are plenty of experts out there who are lousy teachers because they can’t remember what it was like to not know the basics.

Truly knowledgeable people don’t rely on convoluted wordplay.

No, but they can forget that not everyone knows their profession’s jargon.

Of course, Chuckeedee isn’t doing any of that. He’s just being a pretentious ass.

magdelynswallows
13 years ago

Davy: “…maggie, do you ever actually criticize anything said by MRAs?”

Ha. As soon as you start calling out feminist the more egregious voices from your side (cough cough Amanda Marcotte cough cough), then we’ll talk. This blog is set up to take the most egregious voices of MRA’s, and attempt to slander an entire movement. Therefore, don’t think for a New York minute that my profoundly civilized needs any explaining.

BTW, Davy, have you witnessed some of the profoundly provocative and unnecessarily inflammatory drivel thrown at me by your posse? When are you gonna “put on moderation” those people?

Seraph
Seraph
13 years ago

Ha. As soon as you start calling out feminist the more egregious voices from your side (cough cough Amanda Marcotte cough cough), then we’ll talk.

Good lord, Amanda Marcotte is the name you pick for one of the more “egregious” feminists? You’re not even trying.

Flib
Flib
13 years ago

I wouldn’t call pointing out your ignorance and lack of ability to deal with empiricism “inflammatory drivel”.

Bostonian
13 years ago

And where precisely are the violent feminists? Are there any living feminists that promote killing your significant others when you get mad?
I have seen multiple MRAs advocate domestic violence and murder. I have not seen any feminists do so.

Seraph
Seraph
13 years ago

Oh, Pecunium – didn’t mean to ignore you, btw. I’m afraid I’m not much of a drinkin’ man. Never did find a booze I like. Maybe cider.

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